1408333
story
weighn writes
"The SMH has this story about an eccentric Frenchman who carries about 1300 useful items attached to his body by various means. A digital camera is mentioned, so I guess there may be some form of computing device nearby. Anyone else a bulging pocketed geek-scout?"
Who wants to bet... (Score:4, Funny)
badda-bing!
Thanks! I'll be here all night!
Re:Who wants to bet... (Score:2)
argh no no no (Score:5, Informative)
Well, maybe you didn't notice, but the Nazis were the most powerfull force in history at the time (they didn't start conquering the world on a double dare you know).
That's what the high school textbooks say. Unfortunately, like many things in the high school textbooks it's not quite accurate. France had a very large army, well-fortified, and after the invasion of Poland Britain also stationed troops in France.
Textbooks (well high school ones) also make a big deal about the German panzer divisions, but sometimes forget to mention that the French tanks were superior. The Germans just knew how to use them better.
So we have two well-equipped, sizeable forces in France, expecting an attack.
So what happens? The Germans flank the French, ignore the Maginot line, smash both the French and the British armies, and have reached the English channel in 8 days.
Yes, the constant insults about French courage are unfair, but they didn't exactly cover themselves with glory in 1940. Ditto for the British. It also doesn't help that the French have absolutely no sense of humor about themselves. Neither do the Germans, but the Germans at least have the excuse that they don't have a sense of humor about anything.
Re:argh no no no (Score:3, Insightful)
I don't condone stereotypes, but the French do have other surrenders [google.com]. But in fairness these should at least be counted against the many French victories -- Napolean and all that. They also gave the fledgling U.S. one heck of a boost during its Revolutionary War. Finally, the (Nazi) Germans were the final surrender, and isn't THAT the one that counts?
Re:argh no no no (Score:4, Funny)
Q: Why is Paris lined with trees?
A: Because the German army likes to march in the shade.
Re:argh no no no (Score:3, Funny)
Two hours later, he asked me to repeat it so he can get it right when he returned home.
Re:argh no no no (Score:4, Funny)
It really is worth mentioning why it was so easy to flank the French lines.
All of the big French artillery guns were literally buried into position facing in the direction that the Germans were supposed to come. When the Germans decided that walking into a killing field would be silly, the French couldn't turn their guns!
This thread reminds me of a few years back when some really big commemarative event was happening in Normandy. Presidents and Prime Ministers attending kinda big, along with soldiers who had fought on that beach. A number of Germans were also looking to attend, which the French opposed. One commentator noted...
"Yeah right. Like they could keep them out!"
Re:argh no no no (Score:3, Insightful)
I'm thinking of marking myself off topic for replying to this. Oh well, moderate away.
Your comparison falls short on one major point. The Maginot line was literally the only defense that France put up to the invading Germans. One they walked around it, it was not much more than a contest between artillery and small arms. We all know how that ended.
In contrast, nobody is suggesting that missile defense is the only line of defense we maintain. It's meant to be a means to close a huge opening in the variety of defenses we do have in place.
Yes, even with missile defense there remain other means to move a nuke. Those means aren't totally unstoppable, as missiles are today though. It forces any potential enemy to work a LOT harder to get through to us. It gives our intelligence agencies at least a chance to stop delivery.
Far as I'm concerned, missile defense is worth exactly the cost of having one major city destroyed, and all the people in it killed. Haven't heard many opponents quote that cost into an argument.
Re:Who wants to bet... (Score:4, Insightful)
France also had a naive millitary command, and very little resistance.
That said, who can blame them? WWII was still a very nasty memory, and none could face the prospect of war again. It was very easy to belive that Hitler only wanted a little bit of Europe, and then he'd be happy. England managed to muster a fight through blind jingoism, and the U.S. had time to wake up to the fact that they were going to have to fight. I don't envy anyone of the time who had to make the big desisions.
Oh yeah... the other reason for the 'France surrenders' joke is the american feeling that they saved Europes asses. Probably true, but they were next, and the war couldn't have been won without Churchill, Turing, DeGaull and thousands upon thousands of young men who gave their lives in the mud.
Is "French" a "race"? (Score:2)
Surrendering offensively? (Score:4, Funny)
How can you 'surrender offensively'?
I would think that at best it would be a defensive tactic.
Interesting pickup lines... (Score:5, Funny)
"Is that a ruler in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"
"Actually, it IS a ruler."
... but I also have an inflatable mattress with me (Score:3, Funny)
He needs prozac anyway (Score:2)
No Picture!?!?! (Score:5, Insightful)
Mark
Re:No Picture!?!?! (Score:2, Informative)
Re:No Picture!?!?! (Score:5, Funny)
You're right. No picture on this story = Big Tease (Score:2)
We all know the geeks with a tool belt from hell, but it only makes sense that it will move into the realm of tactical vests and load-bearing harnesses, or truly functional clothing that has been engineered with sensors, processors, power systems, etc. into it. Eric most likely doesn't have a real good digital rig going, but that's beside the point: it's functional integration. We shouldn't be biased against low-tech, in particular the need for powered systems should not be the criteria a definition of "cyborg".
Re:its fake? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:its fake? (Score:2)
Re:its fake? (Score:2)
Parker Lewis (Score:5, Funny)
This guy in the story should design suits for certain professions, with neatly designed inner pockets, outer pockets(like on the Ps1 game "P'Oed" featuring the chef with sidearm cooking utensil) and so forth and then sell them.
I only wish I had more coat pockets and such, but my trendy Dockers will have to do. Carries everything but a handgun in the pockets.
Re:Parker Lewis (Score:5, Funny)
I find that Dockers don't last too long. If I might recommend: Tilley Endurables [tilley.com] Their washing instructions are "Give 'em hell!", and they don't need ironing.
I'm giving them a plug because I had a pair of pants that the zipper failed on after a few years. I figured what the hell, and took the pants back to get the zipper fixed. And they did it -- free of charge! (I guess they really do mean "Guaranteed for life".)
The shorts have enough capacity to handle a six-pack. (To hell with all those gadgets!) And there's a secret pocket too. They cost a bit more, but will last waay longer than Dockers under geek washing conditions. Besides, they have this neat stone head outside their Toronto store, can't go wrong! The Big Head [tripod.ca]
Re:Parker Lewis (Score:3, Funny)
I have to admit, my first reaction to the story was "freak." My second was "clothing line? Where can I get some?"
Re:marauding pruner (Score:5, Funny)
I'm just guessing here, but... he had no need to carry condoms, right?
No room (Score:3, Funny)
Re:No room (Score:4, Funny)
Re:No room (Score:5, Funny)
No I think he just carries around their EULA for self defence. I can't imagine a much more suitable blunt object than that.
Re:No room (Score:2)
Oh shit... (Score:5, Funny)
I thought standing behind someone in the supermarket paying with cheques was bad... imagine being behind this guy in airport security!
Re:Oh shit... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Oh shit... (Score:4, Funny)
I'd hate to be behind him... (Score:4, Funny)
Bulging. (Score:5, Funny)
Pfft, frenchmen... I may be a geek, but I don't need any artificial means to be bulging.
Re:Bulging. (Score:4, Funny)
Unfortunately, you're not talking about your pecker.
I guarantee you one item he doesn't need to carry (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I guarantee you one item he doesn't need to car (Score:2)
Re:I guarantee you one item he doesn't need to car (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I guarantee you one item he doesn't need to car (Score:2)
bulging pocketed geek-scout (Score:2, Funny)
How's this for something else amusing? [monster-hardware.com]
Dilbert... (Score:5, Funny)
"Speed Dial. Fool."
Can someone find that cartoon?
Re:Dilbert... (Score:3, Informative)
OK, the first of the comics setting up the meeting with Techno-Bill was 12/28/1992. The series runs through 12/31/1992 when Bill beats Dilbert. It's page 49 in "Dilbert Gives You the Business."
Re:Dilbert... (Score:3, Informative)
Here. [hackvan.com]
Re:Dilbert... (Score:3, Interesting)
I'm one of those vexed at the Scott Adams sellout years ago. His work (if he even draws it -- many cartoonists have assistants) no longer feels fresh and subversive, and is going the route of "Garfield." Yes, it's nice he's gotten rich, but I don't have to respect him for that, or forgive (originally endearing) his stick figures. A polar opposite might be Bill Watterson, who is a talented artist, refused to use assistant cartoonists, and refused to merchandise [alloftheabove.net] Calvin and Hobbes to the point of nearly losing his job. (Perhaps this was too extreme; I'd love to have a Hobbes stuffed tiger for my kids.
It may just be my romantic notion of art over profit. Or maybe I'm just bored with the stagnancy of Dilbert, where it used to be such a terrific strip.
Yes, but does he have his towel? (Score:5, Funny)
I know something useful he doesn't have... (Score:2, Funny)
I don't get it... (Score:2)
Something about this reeks of overcompensation. Do you by chance drive a big car?
When, oh when.... (Score:2, Offtopic)
The pain...oh, the pain of a slow news day.
Be Ready (Score:2)
Too bad he "often ends up sleeping in odd places", thats kinda scary.
Re:Be Ready (Score:2)
Artist's conception! (Score:4, Funny)
Everything except a... (Score:2)
One wrong move with that mini-saw...
Did anyone else need to look up sartorial? (Score:3, Interesting)
Oh the pain (Score:5, Funny)
1.Is that a t1 in your pocket or a you just glad to see me?
2. Excuse me while I bend over I have a fax coming through
3. Yes that is my phone, could you just unzip me please.
4. Hi, Im a French Geek, damned twice over.
5. Hmmmm where can I stick this directional Wireless antenae.
6. I know, I'll try to attach every concievable geek device to my body. Then the girls are sure to notice me.
7. G..u..r..l, what is this Girl?
Thats all for now, im probably going to get modded down but hey, Im craving the nicotene right now so Im FINE.
I Now Have A New Hero... (Score:3, Funny)
I hope this guy starts his own clothing line. Over 1300 items...ah, that'd get me chicks.
Re:I Now Have A New Hero... (Score:2, Interesting)
The vest came in really handy when I sprained my ankle and had to hobble around the house on crutches and yet still take care of the kids - in addition to the lefhanded Swiss Army knife / pill bottle / hankie / belt knife / pager I lugged around in or on my jeans, the vest came in handy for carrying a juice cup (covered), a bottle of milk, cordless phone, diapers, and a box of baby wipes (in the large pocket on the back), occasionally all at the same time.
I'm working my way up to that... (Score:4, Informative)
The thing is surprisingly comfortable, and it holds everything I need. If you were to catch me during the day, on hand I'll have:
Handspring Visor
Stowaway Keyboard for above
Wallet
Half dozen other assorted copy cards, ect.
Pens, pencils, fountain pen...
Keys
Multi-tool (Leatherman Wave)
Electrical Tape
A spare roll of film or two
Link cable for TI-83+
Assorted blank paper, old paper and forms
Spare AA batteries
Maglight
Pager
One really nice thing about the 3/4 length is that it doesn't hinder movement or sitting like the full length vests do, and hides nicely under a blazer or fleece vest for less obtrusive ware.
I would happily recommend the Simms Mesh Vest [simmsfishing.com] to anyone who wanted to keep stuff on hand. It's lasted me two years of consistant (12/7) usege with minimal wear and no problems. You should be able to find it at a local outdoors or fishing shop.
Evan
A game? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:A game? (Score:5, Funny)
That's nothing... (Score:5, Funny)
Possible Hoax (Score:4, Interesting)
I'd like to see him... (Score:4, Funny)
Swiss Army knife pr0n (Score:4, Funny)
(dramatic drum roll)
..that he had actually had occasion to use all but one of its 99-googol blades in his bike-riding, rock-climbing, etc. activities.
Not satisfied with this imperfect record, he sought out an expert to find out what he could do with that single unused blade. The expert replied, "Remove stones from horses' hooves."
Hey, not every story has a happy ending.
Re:Swiss Army knife pr0n (Score:2)
They are replacing it with the "O'Neil" version. It is pretty much the same thing but includes an MP5.
Re: McGuyver (Score:2)
lessee...
8mm wrench, 9mm wrench, 10mm wrench, 15g, 14g, P#1 flathead, straight blade, saw, mini pliers, scissors, magnefying glass, ruler, scaler, bottle opener, miniflathead, can opener, 6 hex wrenches, nail file, tweezers, mini phillips, #2 phillips, fork, awl.... I think officially its only got 33 on there...
There's probably a few I've missed, since this thing looks like a porcupine [topeak.com] with all the tools sticking out.
What has it got in it's nassty pocketsses? (Score:5, Funny)
My Swiss Army knife (a top-of-the-range one) includes a small ballpoint pen - so I don't need the fountain pen...but I have a tiny LED flashlight. That's the software guy's PC repair kit.
Then of course there is my mother's handbag
Re:What has it got in it's nassty pocketsses? (Score:2)
pffft... useful? (Score:2, Insightful)
Did somone steal the story? (Score:2, Interesting)
Does anyone know if SMH [smh.com.au] is a partner company? Same company?
Does anyone know who had the story first?
-- AcquaCow
Re:Did somone steal the story? (Score:2, Informative)
the ABC is the Government funded but independantly run media organisation while the SMH is part of a fully privatised newspaper group called The Fairfax group [f2.com.au]
So they are completely different organisations
Re:Did somone steal the story? (Score:2, Informative)
The SMH article credits the AFP, which I can only assume stands for Associated French Press... so both papers have just gotten their story from the same news agency, explaining the common quotes. Happens all the time!
I for one think that he's pretty cool (Score:2, Insightful)
I also liked the idea that I got when I heard of the velcro leg pockets. I thought of removable pockets that velcroed on to witchever pants he was going to ware today. For them to work all you would have to do is sew soft velcro patches onto all your pants and then when you got home take of the pockets and that way you don't have to resort your pockets.
If I was going to designe cooltool pants I would just take some strong comphy pants sew velcro on them(the soft fuzzy part), probably as larg patches on the thighs and calves. Then I would find some of that strong synthetic denim stuf that overalls are made of (probaly in black or posibly that realy spiffy blackand white hounds tooth patern), with this fabric I would make my pockets. They would have litle deviders in them so as to seperat all my diferent tools(you know mini renches from philips screw drivers). I might also alow for some sort of modular inter wireing so that I could just plug things into my pants for power and alow sound sent to by shirt where I could have a plug up by my neck for head phones.
What Eric most often thinks.... (Score:2)
The real way of the geek ... (Score:5, Funny)
I've been bested! (Score:5, Interesting)
Early on in college, I got diabetes [jdrf.org], which I ended up treating with an H-Tron Plus [disetronic-usa.com] insulin pump, from Disetronic. After trying a few different schemes for securing it to my person, I decided to park it on my belt.
Shortly thereafter I switched to a different blood glucose meter [lifescan.com], which I discovered had a belt loop on its pouch. This made carrying it around much easier and more reliable. Sometime in here I found I needed my Leatherman [leatherman.com] more often than I happened to have it around. On the belt it goes.
The Palm [palm.com] and its belt case came shortly thereafter, rounding out the utility belt. It's served me well, but I'm not a student any more, and it's starting to get a bit awkward. (Yes, I probably ought to have realized this sooner.)
I'm hoping to consolidate, using a Visor [handspring.com] and a FreeStyle Tracker [therasense.com] for the meter (coolest device ever), but I'm also looking at a wireless telephone [verizonwireless.com] . . . maybe I should just give up and get a nice vest [tilley.com] instead. Hmm.
Oh--yes, going through airport security is a royal pain.
Follow-up /. story... (Score:4, Funny)
Secret squirrel (Score:2)
Is this the same as eVest plus more pockets (Score:2, Interesting)
Close to him (Score:2)
Birth Control? (Score:2, Funny)
fleshlight (Score:2)
Quoth Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Score:2, Funny)
If crazy Eric goes skiing... (Score:4, Funny)
Personally... (Score:2)
How about YOU?
a thought.. (Score:5, Funny)
"But if I don't need something, I don't bring it. I used to carry a pedometer, for example, but I've just taken it off. I never found I needed it."
Well yeah, once you start wearing a 15 kg jacket, you sure as hell won't need one
1300: pfft (Score:2)
The six items I carry are more than enough.
Guilty as charged - and some (Score:5, Interesting)
Symbol SP17000 PalmOS PDA with laser barcode scanner, sunglasses, hair ties, cable ties, Leatherman wave, whistle, resusci-shield breathing mask, laser pointer, universal key, pen, surgical gloves, mini-blowtorch, lock-knife, magnifier/torch, cellphone, pager, 10m parachute cord, tape measure, various medications (figures, huh?), syringe, insulating tape, lockpicks, paperclips, magnesium flint block, mini-leatherman, wire probes, pins, needles, safety pins, wire saw, compass, fishing tackle, betalight, antiseptic, plasters, steristrips, pencil, waterproof matches, salt, snow-marker, comb, rescue shears, 2 marlin spikes, antiseptic wipes, wire saw, binder, Pez, cash and a major credit card.
This is all held on with a single quick-release clasp in case I fall in deep water!
By way of explaination I'm a volunteer First Responder occasionally known to the brigade as "Gadget".
Vik
Something similar (Score:3, Insightful)
I guess I'll bite too . . . (Score:3, Interesting)
Palm IIIc [palm.com]: Front left pants pocket
Dell X200 Laptop [dell.com]: Ultra-portable laptop (12")-- I carry this in a RoadWired messenger bag [ebags.com] which I take almost everywhere.
Canon S110 [powershot.com] digital camera (digital elph): It's in a small pouch attached to the shoulder strap of my laptop bag
Nokia 3360 [nokia.com] cellphone: I don't carry this as often, since I don't like cellphones, but if I'm carrying it, it's in the interior jacket pocket.
Panasonic CD player: I have a little cd carrying bag that I sometimes lug around with me if it's a long walk to where I'm going.
Yeah, I like my toys to be small.
Well, my big problem with newer gadgets is that people seem to care more about extra features rather than making them smaller. I have no interest in a PDA that can play MP3s or has 64MB of memory. On the other hand, if you can shrink one down to just the size of the screen (plus a small border) and make them half an inch thick, I'd buy it in a heartbeat. Also, make more small phones without movable parts. I don't want to waste my time pulling out an antenna or flipping open my phone. And stop putting features in my phone! I don't need an MP3 player in my phone.
I want small specialized products.
Practical? (Score:3, Insightful)
My favourite quote from the article:
Hmmm... this must be some new meaning of the word "practical" that I was hitherto unaware of.
Re:He must be James Bond (Score:2)
if the change of clothes is recursive?
the change of clothes is recursive?
change of clothes is recursive?
of clothes is recursive?
clothes is recursive?
is recursive?
recursive?
?
"Hey, where'd Eric go?!? He said he was just going to change his clothes..."
Re:MIT cyborgs (Score:5, Insightful)
Frankly, that kind of thing isn't good for humankind. I'm all for connectedness, but when we are so connected we lose our connections to the immediate world around us and the people right under our noses so we can email, check weather, and write code all the time - well, we truly lose some of what makes us human. And that's sad.
Re:MIT cyborgs (Score:5, Insightful)
This has nothing to do with technology. Have you ever gone to a grocery store?
A surprisingly large number of people are completely unaware that that they are blocking the aisle when they have there cart on one side of the isle, themselves on the other, and yet they don't realize that you're coming despite your driving of the loudest shopping cart in the store.
Apparently choosing a spaghetti sauce takes a large amount of conentration and puts people in a trance like state.
Re:MIT cyborgs (Score:3, Funny)
The borg don't consider you a threat if you ignore them. Had you attacked him, we would have noticed!
Re:What an IDIOT! (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:What an IDIOT! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I have two words for this guy (Score:3, Funny)
WTF? (Score:2)
Heck, mods. Let's go with the trend. Somebody quickly mod him for insightful!
Re:I like the part (Score:2, Interesting)
"I use the [paint]brush a lot because I often end up sleeping in odd places and this is the best way I have found for removing dust," he says.
But what I'm wondering is...if he carries a blow-up-mattress (as mentioned in the NEXT PARAGRAPH)...then why is he sweeping up the dust on the ground to sleep? Why not just blow up the mattress?
Sheesh....French! :)
Re:gadget? (Score:2, Funny)