Browser Becomes Billboard 476
MikeKD writes "Citing a desire to 'enhance the user experience', United Virtualities is 'preparing to introduce a product [called Ooqa Ooqa] that will allow advertisers to automatically change the appearance of Web browsers, usurping some of the functions built into popular browsers...', according to an MSNBC article--and all this supposedly without downloading any additional software. UV says a lot of sweet things about being able to turn it off and allowing the web sites to customize the degree of intrusion (from reverting to normal form when leaving to retaining the rebrand even after leaving), but does anyone think advertisers will restrain themselves? Not I." Friends don't let friends use browsers susceptible to this.
Ooqa Ooqa? (Score:3, Funny)
-s
Re:Ooqa Ooqa? (Score:3, Informative)
United Virtualities calls the product "Ooqa Ooqa," the nickname of one of the cofounder's daughters. The firm's signature product is the "shoshkeles," named after another daughter of a co-founder.
Hm. I hope the company got their permission. Having your name attached to annoying advertising methods can't be good.
Re:Ooqa Ooqa? (Score:3, Funny)
Yea, I bet Carl Coldcall and Berny Bulkmailing are really fuming...
Re:Ooqa Ooqa? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Ooqa Ooqa? (Score:4, Funny)
Oompa Loompa doopity doo, we're going to change your browser for you...
Re:Ooqa Ooqa? (Score:3, Funny)
"Ooqa ooqa" is just "eboo eboO" rotated 180 degrees!
glad I use Konq/Moz (Score:4, Interesting)
Konq would do the same I'm sure...
Re:glad I use Konq/Moz (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:glad I use Konq/Moz (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:glad I use Konq/Moz (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:glad I use Konq/Moz (Score:2)
Actually... (Score:3, Informative)
The open source browsers have thus far been pretty immune to the obnoxiousness suffered by windows users. I was helping my room mate with a computer problem the other day and was subjected to the hideous "Real Download Manager." Someone needs to suffer for that atrocity, let me tell you...
or Omniweb on OS X (Score:2, Informative)
Free, only runs Javascript when you specifically click on a link (no pop-ups or pop-unders), filters out those big ads (like the ones on /.), fa-diddily-ast, and only for OS X.
I wish I could share with you how great it is. Go buy a Mac [apple.com] and get Omniweb [omnigroup.com] and find out for yourself.
an analogy if you will. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:an analogy if you will. (Score:3, Funny)
"Life is like a box of tampons, there's always strings attached..."
Re:an analogy if you will. (Score:3, Funny)
Puts new meaning to the "Tampax was here" slogan, doesn't it?
Re:an analogy if you will. (Score:2)
>
> Puts new meaning to the "Tampax was here" slogan, doesn't it?
Followed immediately, of course, by a Visa commercial. "VISA: It's everywhere you want to be."
I guess there's also a lot of women walking around with credit cards up their cunts [netfunny.com].
Re:an analogy if you will. (Score:3, Funny)
Simple: To increase volume, don't take out trash. To lower volume, buy flowers. To turn off, don't wash for a few days.
why? (Score:2)
If this new thing doesn't have built in p2p mp3 stealing or something, there will be no incentive for people to use it over IE.
Re:why? (Score:2)
Little great features like "Open Link in Background Window" and "Disable new windows on window open/close" make great selling points (image filtering on iCab being another great one).
The more annoying advertisments become, the more people I think that third party browsers are going to convert with features to allow them to turn off/disable them.
Re:why? (Score:2)
me: [pushes buzzer]... what is pr0n?
[DING!][DING!][DING!][DING!][DING!]
alex: you answered correctly, select a category.
me: I'll take Pr0n for $500, alex!
Uh oh... (Score:3, Funny)
It could work ... (Score:5, Insightful)
Some people enjoy the experience of the internet and this may be one of the things for them. How else can you explain Flash's popularity
Seriously, the key here is the ability to turn it off if you don't want it. They've already built-in the functionality for limiting it to certain websites. As mentioned, weather.com is thinking about it. Personally, it'd be cool if they threw is some weather tools on the toolbar like standard conversions, rain=snow measurements, etc.
You have to admit it beats the heck out of a car driving across your screen
Re:It could work ... (Score:3, Insightful)
Easily. Flash is dynamic authoring tool that can be used to increase a users interaction with, and enjoyment of a website. Yes it's been abused often, but that is the nature of bad designers, not a bad design tool
As opposed to this crap, which is just an advertisement that has very little potential to do anything other than distract.
Re:It could work ... (Score:2, Insightful)
If it's anything like the "ability" not to use flash, I'll take a pass. Every time I go to a site that uses flash for ads I have to click at least twice to tell it not to download it for me. (BTW is there a way to get "never trust content from macromedia" working in any of the browsers?)
If oompa loompa (or whatever the cofounder's daughter's retarded nick name is - she should sue for attaching her name to something this annoying) is too easy to disable, the advertisers won't pay for it. If it's unobtrusive, the advertisers won't pay for it. We already tune out 90% of the banner ads and use programs to get rid of pop-ups and -unders. Annoying and in-your-face is the only way left to sell ads online.
I do agree that this has the theoretical potential to make sites more useful (e.g., comet, flash, etc.), but in the long run, it will mostly be used for evil (e.g., comet, flash, etc.).
Re:It could work ... (Score:4, Insightful)
We're talking about advertising here. Advertising is all about being in your face without your consent. They want to turn your PC into a television, where you have to watch their "message" they way they want you to see it, without any opportunity for meaningful feedback.
Schwab
Is this legal? (Score:2, Insightful)
Bloody incoherent, if you ask me. The state of the modern world disgusts me to the hilt.
How? (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:How? (Score:2)
Re:How? (Score:2, Informative)
Imagine the opportunities... (Score:5, Funny)
I just __CAN'T__ wait to see the latest pr0n ads..
Wonder what we'll be clicking on to close the windows?
Gives a whole new meaning to 'pop-ups'.
Re:Imagine the opportunities... (Score:2, Funny)
Good luck, boys.
Most of you couldn't even find it, let alone click on it!
It's MINE (Score:2, Interesting)
It's mine...don't touch!
-Matt
I agree (Score:5, Insightful)
When I open a web page, I am generally agreeing to let a web designer do whatever he or she wants with the space between the <HTML> and </HTML> tags. Not my destop, not the frame, just the page.
If I don't have the option of turning this off, I will change browsers and not patronize sites that use this technique.
Why is it that every blank space has to become an advertising marquee?
Cheers
Jim in Tokyo
(Of course,
You're missing the distinction (Score:3, Insightful)
Look, I hate the intrusive, large ads, but fine. I choose to view a site our not, they are welcome to do whatever they want within the window.
However, do NOT try to disable my backbutton with screwy redirects that mess up my history (do a server-side 301 or 302 if you need to bounce me around, it's not my problem that you suck).
Do not do pop-ups, I gave you a window, use it. If you want more space, ask me to click on something. Pop unders, that's abusive. You don't get to hide ads for me, that's outrageous. Exit-pops are worse. If I hit back, go to another url, or close my browser, you're done. You have no right to harass me.
It's really a shame that MS and Netscape never really worked to make Javascript respect the user, but then, Microsoft has never shown any respect for their customers. Look at the recent Looksmart thing, the thread [webmasterworld.com] on webmasterworld [webmasterworld.com] shows what their puppet Looksmart is doing to screw over webmasters that paid $300 in good faith for a service that the two of them are rendering worthless.
Alex
Wow! I really W A N T to see triangle browser (Score:2, Funny)
Weather.com (Score:5, Insightful)
Weather.com, right? Epilepsy-inducing annoying ads Weather.com? Cars driving across the webpage honking at me Weather.com?
Yeah, they have really good judgment as far as intrusive advertising goes.
Was anybody else totally not surprised to hear that Weather.com is looking to be an early adopter for this "technology"?
mark
Tell Weather.com what you think of this! (Score:3)
Chief Revenue Officer? I guess with as many crappy, gaudy ads as that website runs, they need a chief officer in charge of it....
Re:Weather.com (Score:2)
Actually it's the website that has such problems, therefore I don't go there (except every so often to see if they've gotten worse). Easy as that, and there's no need to limit myself with an old browser.
mark
why would anyone use this browser? (Score:5, Interesting)
But then, I remember the comet cursor scandal*. I'm sure they will package this into a really neat sounding program that will do everything you need, plus other things that you don't know about.
* For those that don't remember, Comet Cursor was this cursor customization that you could download and make your cursor look like anything you want, even an animated something. Pretty neat, except that the software transmitted all your mouse movements and click to their company, so they know where you clicked (becasue it was a browser plug-in) and where you went. The product was wildly popular for a while. I guess some will do anything for a little bit of snazzy-ness.
Re:why would anyone use this browser? (Score:2)
i have ALSO seen it not want to uninstall properly. hmmm....
f%^%cking comet cursor.
Re:why would anyone use this browser? (Score:2)
I saw this. Didn't know anything about Comet Cursor, so I declined to update it. I'm pretty sure it was a Javascript triggered dialog box rather than a browser window. My general rule of thumb is to not upgrade anything I'm not aware of having in the first place. Kept me out of trouble more often than it's gotten me into it.
No problem (Score:5, Insightful)
Saves a ton of bandwidth. No security problems. No popups. No hijacks.
If some site doesn't work I get to evaluate how much I really want to see. And either drop the site or enable what I have to.
Make the advertisers listen. The more crap they put up the less we should look at.
Re:No problem (Score:2)
Except those pesky MIME type vulnerabilities
Consider this (Score:2)
I'm not overly worried (Score:3, Insightful)
Don't you know somebody (other than a marketroid) who would find this "cool"? I can think of quite a few people who would go for it myself.
And it wouldn't bother me too much, either. Of course, I personally wouldn't tolerate it, but if somebody else gets giggles out of it, well why not? Look at the relative success of the IE skins with Star Trek themes, or whatnot.
(having visions of banner ads disappearing and my browser window turning Coke-colored...)
problems (Score:2, Interesting)
Now I now ie has some fishy abilities to let people mess it up (or enhance it), so ie would be a pretty easy target. Allowing plugins to automatically be installed was a bad idea, I do not know how many people have had me remove viruses from their computer that were really just garbage like comet cursor, gohip, nad that gator thing. Why is my computer so slow. Why does the internet not go where I tell it to. All because they clicked yes by mistake during a popup storm.
The question comes in, are they going after mozilla/netscape6, and opera. If so I do not think these browsers will be as inviting as ie. If they find bugs to hijack mozilla, you can bet that it will be fixed in a hurry.
Maybe if they block all the non complient browsers...
If this all this advertisement invasion this keeps up it will make linux the better browsing platfrom (the plugins are windows only, unless codweavers for some reason decieds to support them). Heck right now people are amazed when they see me go to sites and get what I wanted, instead of all sorts of ads.
Crosses the line - big time (Score:5, Interesting)
Then, I stopped visiting certain websites when the "browser takeover" intensified with the use of "shoshkles"(sp?) - which obscured the very content I visited the web page to read, in order to hock their annoying, unwanted product. The analogy here is opening a newspaper, and starting to read an article on a local election, when suddenly an ad from the other page crawls and sets itself over that article.
Now, the same company that brought *that* annoyance now decides that the very interface of my browser isn't mine to control. Who needs that "Home" button? Not you! No - you go ahead and have this "BUY!" button instead. "Back" button? Nonono...you need another "BUY!" button!. What? You're not pressing them? Well, maybe you need some more incentive...let's replace the Reload button with a button that looks *just like* your old one, but actually goes to the same place our "BUY!" button takes you!
Hopefully Opera will stay clear of this, otherwise I may have to stop browsing altogether when I'm forced to use the Windows partition of my comp.
How long until a new worm uses this to quietly replace all the buttons and fields in a users browser with identical-looking ones that don't work as advertized?
Re:Crosses the line - big time (Score:4, Informative)
"without download" (Score:2)
"Opt out?" (Score:2, Interesting)
Great. Look forward to that!
As a betatester.. (Score:2, Funny)
Hello! What planet is this cofounder-dude from? I heard his dog is called "Melissa" and his goldfish is called "Mary-Anne".
Re:As a betatester.. (Score:3, Funny)
Thanks. As of today, and for the first time in my life, I can find some sympathy for the Palestinians.
The same geniuses who came up with "Shoshkeles"... (Score:2)
It's times like this that I'm glad I don't use anything besides Mozilla; I'll never see any of these types of things. Companies like these need to be stopped, before we are even more overrun with ads than we already are.
Re:The same geniuses who came up with "Shoshkeles" (Score:2)
Are you absolutely certain? The article says: "automatically change the appearance of Web browsers, usurping some of the functions built into popular browsers designed by Microsoft Corp. and Netscape Communications, a unit of AOL Time Warner Inc."
and: "Netscape already lets people customize its browsers. Its client-customization kit lets Internet-service providers and others insert their logos to replace the Netscape logo in the browser toolbar, or insert specific bookmarks."
Of course, from all that I know about Mozilla there's no way a website is going to be just allowed to install and switch to a different theme (though who knows what sort of extra 'features' might be added in Netscape releases...), and even if there was it'd be fixed nearly instantaniously in Mozilla, but Netscape/Mozilla definitely does seem like a target for this product.
What I'm mostly interested in right now however is seeing some screenshots of for example those weather.com tests on various browsers... Anyone out there reading this who just happens to be a beta-tester / in the know /
Re:The same geniuses who came up with "Shoshkeles" (Score:3, Insightful)
As reported previously here [slashdot.org], United Virtualities is the same company that came up with those horrible "Shoshkeles" ads!! If you've never seen them, they are ads that run, animated, all over the page, with full sound. Ack!
This sounds like more marketing hype from United Virtualities. If you look at "shoshkeles" and what they actually do, you will see that they like the older "eyeblasters" contain a lot of code that obscures what they really are doing. They simply put a flash animation in a layer, make it transparent and position it with CSS. Flash does the hard work! It's 3 lines of code on IE instead of the steaming heap their scripts turn out.
And ad executives like this? They think people want flying soft drink cans to cover their morning newspaper? Of course they're not human so what did you expect???
Could we get our regular /. poll as a toolbar? (Score:2, Funny)
|o| Slashdot: News for nerds, stuff that matters - Galeon
|---- -
| Do you like toolbar polls? [Yes] [No] [Maybe] [CowboyNeal]
|---- -
|
Uh oh, slashdot... (Score:2, Funny)
How do you want your browser to look this week?
1: Linux themed
2: Flashing slashot (looks like vegas strip club)
3: Cowboyneal
*shudder*
Another enhancement I would rather disable (Score:2)
It could display "utilitarian" tools in the browser toolbar, such as a currency exchange-rate calculator on a financial Web site, Entel said I think it is fair to compare this example of breaking the user interface to other nefarious schemes such as designing borderless pop-up browser windows with what appear to alert dialogs that people by their previous experience will choose to click, thereby redirecting their browser to a site that they most likely had no intention of visiting. In this case, re-designing a UI beyond easy repair for most end users, replete with click dialogs to any number of undesired "features" like a link bar full of cheap drugs and bargain toner.
If you interrupt the consumer for no good reason, it's not effective advertising, Iaffaldano said. The majority of the advertising I receive interrupts what I am doing and is not effective. Why would this "enhancement" be applied differently?
My reading of the article indicated that customizations would carry from site to site, with no indication of it being an opt-in feature, though at that point in the article their was not clarification as to what browser to which they refer. It would be a strong step forward for browser writers to make such customization completely at the will of the end user and by default, turned off.
I'm a bit confused... (Score:3, Insightful)
One part of the article mentions "a demo version of a Weather.com-themed browser prepared by United Virtualities", which seems to imply that it is a modified version of a current web browser. This is really nothing new (aside from being able to service ads), when I ran my small ISP in town we modified Netscape Comm. 4 to have our logo in place of the 'N'. This would require the user to download and install a new web browser.
However, there seem to be underpinnings in the article that make it seem like this could affect your current browser you are using. One bad scenario would be that it installs with another (freeware) program...much like the spyware in Kazaa, et al. The worse scenario would be that it could tap into the gui of your current browser just by visiting a web page. Then you would have no real control. This sounds like taking advantage of one of the many bugs^H^H^H^H features that IE has.
And then this statement: "Web surfers will always have a clear option to turn off Ooqa Ooqa and go back to their regular browsers, said Ivan Entel, the firm's chief of staff. In fact, they'll have the option never to be exposed to the technology again on certain Web sites." Go back to my regular browser?? What is meant by that? Does this mean uninstalling/re-installing? Very vague terminology sends scary signals up my spine.
Does anyone know more about this definitively so as to clear up the vagueness?
- A non-productive mind is with absolutely zero balance.
- AC
Advancing Standards (Score:2)
Sure, W3C creates the standards. The Web Standards Project evangalizes them. Mozilla provides a cross-platform alternative that follows them. But with their browser-morphing and overlaying ads, United Virtualities has created technologies that will drive users to Mozilla in droves if they show up in Netscape or Microsoft products. It'll probably increase demand for Junkbuster too.
Thanks to rabid marketdroids and United Virtualities. Who knew.
Foot in the Door (Score:2)
Watch some late late late night TV and you might catch an old skit on brush or vaccuum cleaner salespeople with a foot in the door and a spiel spewing from their mouths. Many people, including my parents, see an intrusive sales person as the Monty Python Troop there to amuse the kitty. For the rest of us there's the chance for FS/OS to get it's footprint on the iron of more disgruntled users. Somewhere the ghost of PT Barnum is whooping it up... there are many, many more than just one born every minute. And, hey, I personally can't wait until it goes subliminal. Oh yea baby it's coming, it's coming.
cheersDeja vu (Score:5, Interesting)
Ooqa Ooqa, meet Cue::Cat (Score:2)
The only browser that never gave in to ads. (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:The only browser that never gave in to ads. (Score:2)
This can't work (Score:2)
Without downloading anything, all they can do is open a toolbar/menuless window and fill it with a lame implementation of the regular browser but with their buttons. It would look stoopid and would be instantly dismissed by anyone with any sense.
But to actually change the browser behaviour requires some form of download. That either means a plugin or exe for NS 4.x, a control or exe for IE or chrome for Mozilla/NS 6.x. There is no other way.
And fortunately most people will be smarter than to install shit like this. May it be consigned to the lower levels of hell where it belongs with all other advertising spyware.
hello people! (Score:2, Insightful)
NotSlash scoops Slashdot Again! (Score:2)
Read the subject line!
NotSlash [crystalorb.net] : We scoop Slashdot!Re:NotSlash scoops Slashdot Again! (Score:2)
I suggest changing the name of your site to NoLife
Just use /etc/hosts (Score:2, Informative)
This works for most flavours of windows too, but the location of hosts varies (in Win2000 it is c:\winnt\system32\drivers\etc)
Good for blocking most ads (even the slashdot ones when they come from doubleclick)
This circumvention method is probably now illegal in the USA, but I don't lve there so bite me!
Ooqa ooqa? I think not. (Score:2, Funny)
If linux was called GNU/Ooqa Ooqa instead of GNU/linux I would never have used it.
Honest. It truly leaves me speechless how mindless brand names are getting. Ooqa bloody Ooqa? WTF?
Did some marketing drone actually get paid for belching this one up?
Re:Ooqa ooqa? I think not. (Score:2)
Re:Ooqa ooqa? I think not. (Score:2)
keep in mind the target audience (Score:3, Insightful)
It is also named by marketing people.
That should explain a lot.
by the way the least they could do is follow basic rules of english language and put a u after the q.
Guess they are too cutting edge for that.
They can pay me... (Score:2)
A plan to deal with this... (Score:2)
All we have to do, then, is prevent these people from breeding and there won't be any more abominations like this.
It'd probably be a good idea to pre-emptively knock off any still-living decendents of UV executives while we're at it...
Re:A plan to deal with this... (Score:2)
" is that for real, or are you saying they're monkeys? which would be pretty funny.
A no-loose situation (Score:2)
If any of my browsers succumb to Ooqa Ooqa, I'll have the owner of that site prosecuted under the PATRIOT act.
Either the scumbag who tries to pull off these kinds of things goes to jail for terroristic computer hacking or the PATRIOT act gets struck down. Either way, I win.
b&
Let me understand this. (Score:2)
humm..
cat >
127.0.0.1 www.unitedvirtualities.com
MSNBC doesn't know who owns them. ;) (Score:2)
To contrast, Slashdot is very good about disclosing corporate relationships when reporting something, even though this audience is practically guaranteed to already know what they are telling us. ("Really, you mean OSDN owns slashdot?!?! I thought that the OSDN banner up there was decorative. Wow, I'm glad you mentioned this.")
BTW, I thought this was funny:
So don't read it, because we aren't publishing it.Is it definitely the case that... (Score:2)
ObHeston (Score:2)
A couple of things to say on this... (Score:4, Insightful)
If I find a site that does this, I will not use their product. I will email the web admin and inform them why, and I will feel a little better hoping that my little bit may cause them to stop using this technology because it costs them more money than it makes.
It's An April Fool's Joke (Score:3)
Are we sure it's not an April Fool's joke that caught out the guys at MSNBC???
This is indeed a disturbing trend (Score:3, Insightful)
This trend will continue, with ads becoming more and more ubiquitious. A few sci-fi writers have drawn this same conclusion, such as Neal Stephenson, who envisioned 3-D billboards that "attack" pedestrians, or another writer, whose name escapes me at the moment (it might have been Greg Egan), who posited that nano-robots could be used to "hack" the brain and perpetually display ads in a person's visual field. I can envision some enterprising young advertiser inventing eyeglasses that display ads. Poor, nearsighted people would put up with the ads in exchange for clear vision (if slightly obscured).
Sadly, there's not much we can do. Look at how well we've curtailed Microsoft. They had it wrong in Fight Club. The insurance companies and financial institutions aren't the enemies. It's the ad agencies. Maybe the same solution might work.
Is it illegal? (Score:3, Informative)
New York's Computer Crime statute [securityfocus.com] says:
It does require the computer owner to somehow notify the intruder that unauthorized access is prohibited. But one type of notification allowed is:
So print out a big sign and tape it to the side of your monitor. Meanwhile, Wyoming has this to say:
Sounds like this technique, if it really exists, violates both laws.
And if you use Mozilla you can stop this... (Score:3, Informative)
The gist of configuring security policies is described here:
http://www.mozilla.org/projects/security/componen
The bottom of the page has examples that you can use for your 'default' security policy. You can customize them to any security policy you configure in just a few minutes.
Re:Death of the Last Good Browser (Score:2)
How will that kill Opera? Or Mozilla, or Galeon, or Konq, or lynx, or...
Re:Death of the Last Good Browser (Score:2)
(1) Websites need to pay for bandwidth.
(2) Advertisers are waiting for a sure-fire eyball lock-in.
(3) Websites will stop rendering for non-Ooqa-compliant browsers, in order to guarantee the lock-in the advertisers desire.
(4) Opera, Mozilla, Galeon, Konq, Lynx, &c. will no longer be able to get you anywhere interesting on the web.
Re:Death of the Last Good Browser (Score:2)
Re:Death of the Last Good Browser (Score:2)
And that is when the long awaited Gibsonian cyberpunk dystopia will really get started, so at least you'll have something to look forward to :)
Re:Death of the Last Good Browser (Score:2)
Konq already allows me to prevent pop-up and pop-under ads from showing up, and I haven't had any websites refuse to render because of that.
Re:Death of the Last Good Browser (Score:2)
You can set up something similar in IE...but the Google Toolbar [google.com] is even better.
Ick...maybe it's OK if the browser is all you have running. Fire up a couple of SSH terminals, your favorite IDE, or whatever, and then try working in those while you have two or three webpages open. MDI is Pure Evil®...why do you think Microsoft has migrated its apps from MDI to SDI over the past few years?
Re:everybody bend over (Score:2)
According to the article, IE and Netscape will be affected...
Boycott the people who have this type of crap on their sites.
Desktop Advertising System (Score:3, Interesting)
Actually what they are working towards is to turn the desktop computer into a Desktop Advertising Device, all protected by Digital Rights Management so you can never avoid the Ads.
To get any work done, you have to sit through long blocks of ads.
And viewing the ads will be mandatory.
Ultimately this will be a form of economic slavery neatly package as something neat and fashionable. Imagine being a borg as a fashion statement, or something to do to tick out the 'rentals
Re:You have to admit... (Score:2)
Re:Another reason to use Opera - for now... (Score:2, Informative)
(resists urge to smack Lag Master, mitigated by reinforcement of smug conclusion about Windows users)
Um, how about opera.com [opera.com]?
Don't switch browsers OR oses! (Score:2)
Re:From the article (Score:3, Funny)
If you check your Milton, you'll find that Satan had a daughter named Sin, and he banged her, and they had a son called Death. Taking this metaphor a little further, Business had a daughter named Greed, and together, they begat a brood called "Pervasive Idiocy", "Pointy-Haired Boss", "Dot-Com", and "RIAA". Nothing to see here, move along.