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It's funny. Laugh.

Web Site Invites Sinners to Confess Online 136

Posted by jimjag from the surf-and-ye-shall-be-healed dept.
slackeress writes "The Internet Report on Yahoo has a story about The Confessor Web site that invites sinners to confess online. Finally a chance for me to be redeemed. Ha! I'm glad to see that the Big Guy is Internet savvy." Wow! I wonder what those local loops charges are! :)
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Web Site Invites Sinners to Confess Online More

Web Site Invites Sinners to Confess Online

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  • if i remember my catechism properly, the "confession" sacrament has many parts. you don't simply confess to your sins to a priest (the loose rule is at least twice a year), it also takes:

    - penance: do 2 hail linus
    - reparation: give back double what you took... bg would need to file for bankrupcy
    - grace: divine providence grants you grace 1) if it feels like it and 2) if and only if you are truly sorry for your sins and have done all the other parts
  • You forget that Jesus has a cable-access show, so it's just as easy to prove His existence as Hers :)

    --

  • If you don't mind me asking, which denomination of (presumably Christian) faith do you practice?

    As a Catholic, the Sacrement of Reconciliation is central to my beliefs. To fully receive the Sacrement, the confessor must seek the help of a priest and make the confession to that other person. I believe this is a uniquely Catholic view, but someone correct me if I'm wrong. The idea is that you're confessing to the priest, who acts as a mediator for Christ. The confessor is not confessing to flesh and blood. He or she is confessing to the human-divine Christ.

    The idea of an on-line confessional brings up some interesting questions. How can the confessor be sure the other end is being viewed by an ordained priest? If the confession really does stay on the user's computer and no one sees it, then it is not a valid confession according to Catholic doctrine. How can the privacy of the confessional be maintained over a public medium (think of all those courtroom dramas you've watched over the years)?

    --

  • How can the privacy of the confessional be maintained over a public medium (think of all those courtroom dramas you've watched over the years)?

    Duh... SSL! :)

  • Sorry, but I search up and down slashdot for two things and allways post when I find them.

    1) Posts quoting what's-his-faces law that mentioning Nazis is death to a thread.

    It usualy works as censorship, and I'm sorry but my loathing the Nazis makes me loath censorship even more.

    2) Occam' Razor

    I search for these to test a theory that it is used almost always wrong on slashdot. This supports my theory.

    In this case, if you are to take the Biblical account for your facts, he was on the cross a short time. It is possible for someone to survive that. However, He was run in the side with a sword, and blood and water came out. Symbolic references aside, it shows that He was dead long enough (heart stopped beating) for his blood to start seperating. Its hard enough to start a heart beating after just minutes after death. Its a miracle after that long (an hour at least if my sources are correct).

    So Occam's Razor does not justify your story as you think it does. Nor does Occam's razor find or even verify truth in any way shape or form. It is a statistical guess, playing the odds. I am so tired of people using it as a divining rod pointing to their half baked ideas. It is useful in interpolating data, not to support arguments.
    ^~~^~^^~~^~^~^~^^~^^~^~^~~^^^~^^~~^~~~ ^~~^~
  • Sorry, but I search up and down slashdot for two things and allways post when I find them.

    1) Posts quoting what's-his-faces law that mentioning Nazis is death to a thread.

    It usualy works as censorship, and I'm sorry but my loathing the Nazis makes me loath censorship even more.

    2) Occam' Razor

    I search for these to test a theory that it is used almost always wrong on slashdot. This supports my theory.

    In this case, if you are to take the Biblical account for your facts, he was on the cross a short time. It is possible for someone to survive that. However, He was run in the side with a sword, and blood and water came out. Symbolic references aside, it shows that He was dead long enough (heart stopped beating) for his blood to start seperating. Its hard enough to start a heart beating after just minutes after death. Its a miracle after that long (an hour at least if my sources are correct).

    So Occam's Razor does not justify your story as you think it does. Nor does Occam's razor find or even verify truth in any way shape or form. It is a statistical guess, playing the odds. I am so tired of people using it as a divining rod pointing to their half baked ideas. It is useful in interpolating data, not to support arguments.

    However I agree that we are inherently good until something compels us to be bad. Christians actualy believe this through the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden. They (like us) as creations of God were pretty good, mostly just innocent. Then they started talking to snakes...

    Their "sin" (better said as transgression, even though many would argue there isn't a difference but look it up) was eating the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

    This fruit, or ability to know good and evil is inherited with us. It means we get to know evil, sometimes by participation. This is what is confused some times and given the name origional sin, or being born in sin.

    Note however the phrase "born in sin" does not say "born by sin". Many celebates base their obstinance on such a extrapolation of the doctrine as to say that birth happens from sin. This is not true.

    Born in sin means more like born into a sinful environment. The sinful environment we find outselves in is the influence that you are speaking of. The good people resist and continue to do good, or repent of the evil they do and become good again.

    This repenting, a neccisary step when someone does sin actualy requires an intersesion of someone outside themselves. One can not just change their mind after raping someone and say "Its all better I won't do it again I repent (meaning "change my mind about it") and will never do it again. Justice still demands a price. And the repentant person is not able to pay it.

    Hence a believe that we're not nice unless something outside of us compels us to be nice. Surrounded by sin, even the best people need an influence from this intersessory power to be nicer. But most importantly they need someone to "right the wrongs."

    That is why the need for someone to die, and live again on their own power. That is why it is so important that Christ either rose from the dead or He didn't. How could someone show us how to overcome our death if he couldn't even overcome his own? Yet there is even more to this that I would explain but I've run out of attention span of the readers a long time ago.

    Thanks to the readers that wadded this far...
    ^~~^~^^~~^~^~^~^^~^^~^~^~~^^^~^^~~^~~~^~~^ ~
  • Its interesting. How come you don't just say that the reports of him coming back were one of the apostles dressed a lot like him? Or maybe the reports were all made up to begin with because they couldn't stand the idea of losing him? Those are even further from the truth, but make an easier to believe story (which is how I am figuring you are really using Occam's Razor, the easier to beleive story must be true.)

    I agree with the need for faith, but too many times people confuse faith with hope or even imagination. Faith is an assurance that something is true. Hope is conjering up will power to follow something you believe is true. Imagination is pulling things out of thin air becuase they don't care what is true.

    And that is what happens all too frequently. People I guess don't care enough about truth, or maybe they just lose faith entirely that they can know something is true. But the truth is out there... Christ and Buddha and Mohomed and Abraham all point out, you have to open your eyes to see it. Open your eyes to it means roughly that one has to look for it. Then you'll know it when you see it. At least if you are to believe them.
    ^~~^~^^~~^~^~^~^^~^^~^~^~~^^^~^^~~^~~~^~~^~
  • You CAN NOT KNOW that it's true.
    You can trust, and believe, but you can't KNOW.
    ...and you can't KNOW the truth of the words you base your entire faith on.

    This position you realize is something you can only hope is true. Its funny, you can always second guess yourself. You can always doubt. I had someone recently ask me on slashdot how I can base so much of my life on thing that there is no empirical evidence for.

    While he was honest, and not trolling, it is a loaded question. I have experienced empirical evidence. I have excersized the scientific method on these points and I have seen the results.

    And even if you have no more than a desire to know *if* you can _know_ the truth. Even to where if they did find...an ancient Bible with the previously missing foreward: "Written for all my friends and my lovely wife, this epic play will be performed next Tuesday at Herod's" it seriously wouldn't phase [YOU] at all....

    However your other point that many people are mistaken, or even lying only emphazises the importance of finding things out for yourself. I promise it is possible, even if you only want to find out the truth of what I'm saying.

    I promise everyone will know the truth sooner or later. And the sooner you learn the truth the sooner you are free from hashing philosophies like one of a thousand people groping in the dark and bumping into each other. Like what happens on Slashdot.
    ^~~^~^^~~^~^~^~^^~^^~^~^~~^^^~^^~~^~~~^ ~~^~
  • haha,

    While it is true that you have to search truth yourself (a primary theme of Christ, Budha, Mohomed, and Greek Philosophy) I'm not dodging the point.

    I never once said its true because the Bible said so. I said I know its true. I say you can know also. I figure you want too.

    I am attacking fervently the essense of saying "you can't know." It is something you are hoping is true, yet you seem to believe it very strongly as if you *knew* it. Do you know it? What is your authority on that?

    I'm exactly addressing the point. You *can* know everything that happened in someone's life 2000 years ago. But I think its more important since the point you are origionaly attaking is that Christs life was sinless. You can know that even easier without knowing everything he did.

    Do you need to know every molecule of a solution to know its Ph? Or is there another test you can run to find the answer from some other results of tests?

    I'm attaking that point becuase you use it to narrowly defined the test, and even as if you were stating fact declared you can not know the results of the test. And like misusing Occam's Razor, the idea of Faith, and supposing facts that aren't there you are mis-stating that I am not addressing the point.

    I think what you mean is that I'm not working in your idea of the problem. Indeed I am not and cannot, for you state immediately that someone cannot know the truth.

    That successfuly sets up a situation where someone cannot solve a problem, your problem. Setting up unsolvable problens is not hard. Give me a number that equals 5 when three is added to it, and 100 when 9 is subtracted from it. And only integers are allowed. See I created such a problem too, but it doesn't invalidate mathematics. And it doesn't mean I'm sitting in a ivory tower sneering down at mear mortals pretending I'm right.

    I call it as I see it, and my sig says it all. I'm happy calling it quits. But its not becuase I'm not addressing the point.
    ^~~^~^^~~^~^~^~^^~^^~^~^~~^^^~^^~~^~~~^~~^ ~
  • But do I get a diploma to prove it?

    --

  • Well, there seem to be more religious nuts than any other kind. And frankly as a former Catholic (escaped after 5th grade) I'd rather confess to my TV than somebody's stupid web site. At least the TV talks back...
  • Occam's Razor

    Yup, and if you look at the post again I did say "odds are". I'm aware it's a statistical measure. Again, you can say anything you want, but since there's no uncut, unaltered video of the event we're going by the accounts of biased eyewitnesses, written down a long long time ago, which is inherently an unreliable source of information. Thus the need for faith.

    divining rod pointing to their half baked ideas

    You say my story is half-baked compared to yours? I'll grant you I only took 10 seconds to make it up, but "a prophet gets the full Roman crucifixion treatment, survives and disappears" is half-baked compared to "a man born to a virgin by an invisible all-powerful being died and came back"? Come on, logically speaking, which is more likely?

    The odds between someone dying and coming back to life vs. being wounded and making a smart retreat from public life are astoundingly on the latter, I would say. Considering JC was supposedly the only one who ever did it, we're talking about 1 out of the entire number of humans who ever lived on the planet. That's some slim odds partner. Doesn't make it impossible, but it is quite improbable.

    None of this is a comment on Christ himself by the way. Personally I think the stories of his behavior on the planet are enough to help people live a good life. You don't need to hinge it all on the actual "back from the dead" thing, because unless he drops into Central Park in full glory you can never prove that.
  • How come you don't just say that the reports of him coming back were one of the apostles dressed a lot like him?

    Just trying to stay focused - any of the above are obvious possibilities as well, you could go on for awhile listing them. Look, it's fine with me if you believe this stuff, but you CAN NOT KNOW that it's true. The fact that it was written in the Bible means nothing. It was written by humans, not God, and humans make mistakes, are biased, misinterpret, are fooled by magicians, and outright lie for their own good or political purposes. That's just the way it is.

    I argue these points because I *do* care about truth, and you can't KNOW the truth of the words you base your entire faith on. You can trust, and believe, but you can't KNOW. The truth is you don't need to look any farther than your nose to see an incredible universe, and know for sure WE didn't create it. I don't need any more proof of "God" than that. You need to have "faith" because you're trying to believe things which you logically know are impossible, or at least highly improbable. All I need to do is smell the flowers and knock on wood.

    And if they found an ancient Bible with the previously missing foreward: "Written for all my friends and my lovely wife, this epic play will be performed next Tuesday at Herod's" it wouldn't phase ME at all.
  • WE WERE ALL BORN IN SIN
    I think the key here is "born in". I don't accept that I did anything wrong in the womb (Mom never complained to me, anyway :-)), or *could* do anything "wrong" until somebody told me what "wrong" is, and that would depend very much on where, how, and when you lived.

    Can you name one person (other than Christ) who never did anything wrong?

    I wouldn't name Christ either. Are you absolutely sure he didn't pull a cat's tail at 3 yrs old? Or would that have been in the Bible if it happened?! We certainly have reasonable historic proof that certain individuals existed, but to make statements about what they did and didn't do ever... that's not gonna fly. You believe he died and rose from the grave - as Devil's Advocate (sorry folks, how often do you get to use that in proper context?) I'm thinking maybe the wounds were not as bad as they looked, a few people snuck into the tomb and bandaged him (insert UFO's here if you're into that) and they pushed the rock out of the way so he could beat feet to a quiet life of monk-ness in the hills. After all, if you're dead the authorities will leave you alone, right? Ever hear of a faked death? Ascended in a ballon, walked uphill, whatever. There are plenty of eyewitnesses who see and remember different things - check court records from anywhere. Maybe they were suffering ergot poisoning from bad bread!

    Can you prove my version is wrong? Occam's Razor - given two possibilities, one far-fetched in the extreme, the other simple, odds are on the simpler one every time.

    It's that whole inherent badness of humanity thing again. We're not nice unless something outside of us compels us to be nice.

    As a (modified) Buddhist I would say that we're inherently good until something outside (or not) compels us to be bad, but maybe I'm just not into good/bad as much in general.
  • Do you have an agent, son?

    Have your people call my people.
  • Well, there doesn't seem to be any point continuing here, since you'll always just move on to "I know it must be so and you'll find out someday."

    You're not adressing the main point - you just can't know everything that happened in someone's life 2000 years ago. You believe the Bible. I doubt it's literal accuracy. When all's said and done, you guys can do nothing more than claim the truth as your own, because the Bible said so. Sorry, but that's not good enough.

    The only empirical evidence you can have is a live Christ. Let me know when he shows up.
  • Two things about this:

    a) to ensure privacy, the confession is immediately deleted afterwards, so if somebody should write a script to talk to /dev/null, the overall effect would be the same...

    b) a spokesperson of the roman katholic church said in the daily telegraph that they disapproved of the stuff.

    greetings,

    Reinout
  • Does this deserve to be under a "humor" topic? Many people consider it to be a very serious concept, yet Slashdot slaps it with "It's funny. Laugh".

    Not leaning one way or anothr.
  • %ping god
    ping: Cannot resolve "god" (Unknown host)
  • Come on! The Pope [thepope.org] has been doing this for some time now.

    Absolve me oh Pope!

    "... message passing as the fundamental operation of the OS is just an excercise in computer science masturbation."


  • Imagine the kind of thing you could look at if somebody cracked this site.

    Unfortunately some morons will probably take me seriously :(
  • but the repeat post was funnier (look at the moderation!)
  • so, today they collect the confessions, and after that what do they do? open up a website, where we can pay to read peoples confessions?

  • for the 10 years i've been on the net i've always found IRC to be the penultimate geek confessional

    :)
  • I heard the interview on the radio as I was driving home. Actually, the spokesman said that the Catholic Church (or at least the chaps in red, white and puce) didn't disagree with the idea, but suggested that the act of confessing online wouldn't be as good as the real thing. (IIRC, he said '...not as good as the kosher thing...', which I found particularly amusing).

    Rich
  • Then again, anybody lazy enough to use this surrogate confessional probably deserves to be shown up for the dork they are. The whole premise of this site makes me laugh.

    What do you guys think about religion and the internet? Can the two mix? (I mean in a worship/practice way, not merely as a means of transmitting basic information.)


    The Divine Creatrix in a Mortal Shell that stays Crunchy in Milk

  • No no no... Why go through the pope when you can speak directly to Jesus Christ Himself? I think that would be more effective.

    prayer://jesus.christ/

  • Step 1: Create "confessor" website.

    Step 2: Collect data.

    Step 3: Send out blackmail letters.

    Step 4: Collect cash.
  • Yeah, My favorite line was "This is between you and God and your privacy is totally respected."
  • Well thank you very much for the Phantom Karma! It's gotta count for something!
  • after vatican.org it says can't locate host (his IP works in mysterious ways)

  • Its from Goonies (1985 Spielberg)
    Its the speech Chunk says when he is captured by the Fratellis...
  • By opening and using this software, you agree to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and saviour...

    That's a heck of a EULA. Microsoft must be jealous.
  • They disagree quickly because a) it is not a new idea at all, since confession over telephone was considered decades ago, and b) obviously (well, obvious to a Catholic) violates the norms of the Sacrament.

    Additionally, you don't seem to understand that penance does not equal punishment. Penance is an atonement for the wrong you have done. A sin corrupts you and corrupts the community, even if it is only in a tiny way. A penance is a constructive way to try to change you and the community a little bit for the better. Punishment happens to the unrepentant after they die.

  • I don't find your mockery of my religion particularly funny.
  • He doesn't mean the real Pope. He means the stupid mock pope, some fellow named Kurt.
  • Jeez...who among us ISN'T ordained by the ULC? I know I am =)

    The Good Reverend
  • the parish I belong to [corg.org] has been offering soul cleansing since 1996 when they invented the concept of Internet Baptism [corg.org] Best part is that the Church Of Gerbil doesn't even make you confess... Keep your sins to yourself. I have found that once you give em up to a priest they are a little less enjoyable.
  • Has anyone tried a TRACERT on his address ? It would b interesting to see the results (the path to God...) and all that.
  • Of course, I would never do that, but would be very fun to watch people "laundry their dirty clothes".

    I can imagine the messages...

    "I did it again, and will be called Millenium. Please forgive me. s: B.G."

    "It was a prank, but everyone believed it, now I can't go back. please help me Lord. s: L.T."

  • A website like this makes it all too easy to collect confessed secrets and blackmail the confessors, which would be rather negative feedback for the confessors! I do wonder, however, how is the security at real-world confessions? Would it be difficult to slip a bug or tape recorder (or XCam [x10.com] :-) into the confession chamber? "Accidentally" leave one behind after your confession?

    There seem to be so many potentials for abuse with a religion that rests your morality on the confession of sins. I know that the Catholic faith was (a few hundred years ago) greatly abused (see Chaucer's Canterbury Tales); is it prevalent or uncommon or impossible now?

    Daniel J. Peng [mailto]

  • Re:*sob* (Score:1)

    by eel ( 91514 )
    Cutlery, it's cutlery damn you.
  • "... Confession cannot be done by telephone, e-mail or proxy."

    I'm curious as to exactly how they interpret their own words. I'm not a christian, but the last time i read the bible, it said only god could forgive sins, and jesus said to tell your sins directly to god.

    What do they think "teling them to god" means? Telling them to a priest to recive pennance? But a priest is just a proxy for god (proxy meaning "a person authorized to speak for or represent another")... so by their own words they've condemened their own practices.
  • One of God's web sites is godchannel.com [godchannel.com], where the contents are dictated by God personally... so it is written. There's a section from the Mother too for those who are fed up with the "Heavenly Father" angle. It's an interesting read. Metaphysics, vision, God's latest plan, and advice on seeking the light within yourself. I found God's advice there resonant with my earlier inner experiences, but the .com domain and the promotion of certain author's books, and not others which seem equally relevant, leave me just a touch suspicious of the site owners' intentions... Enjoy... -- Jamie
  • I'm a Christian...not Catholic...and that concept makes no sense to me. The priest is obviously a proxy. Whatever.

  • I confess all of my sins in emacs:

    I lust for Natalie Portman.

    What makes you feel I lust for Natalie Portman?

  • If you find any scientific evidence to support your claims [that WE WERE ALL BORN IN SIN], let me know.

    OK, I'll bite. Can you name one person (other than Christ) who never did anything wrong? That's all he's saying. It's that whole inherent badness of humanity thing again. We're not nice unless something outside of us compels us to be nice.

    I'm also amused by the demands for scientific evidence for any claims that seem to fly in the face of the popular philosophy of the time. Can you scientifically prove that Hannibal crossed the Alps? No! Why not? Can you do an experiment to show that your hyphothesis, "Hannibal crossed the Alps," is true? Can this experiment be repeated? All we have is historical evidence, which is accepted as valid. Likewise for the statement "we were all born in sin." We have historical evidence and testimony that this is the case. Historical evidence can be every bit as valid as scientific evidence.

    And with regard to the online confessional, I have to agree with a previous poster: Prayer works!

    JimD


    JimD
  • This is what happens when objective reality is denied...

    Please name one reliable source that denies this historic person of Jesus of Nazareth. Check an encyclopedia if you want (Britannica springs to mind). Check the histories of Josephus. You probably don't consider the Bible a reliable source, so I won't bother... Suffice it to say, the historical evidence is there. Jesus is not just a cleverly invented myth!

    So can you prove Napoleon existed? How about Alexander the Great? Archimedes? Prove to me that Plato existed. How? Historical evidence. It's a fascinating subject...try looking into it some time.


    JimD
  • You say my story is half-baked compared to yours? I'll grant you I only took 10 seconds to make it up, but "a prophet gets the full Roman crucifixion treatment, survives and disappears" is half-baked compared to "a man born to a virgin by an invisible all-powerful being died and came back"? Come on, logically speaking, which is more likely?

    If there is no allowance for the supernatural, then a naturalistic explanation is all you can accept. But what "natural" explanations are there?
    • Jesus didn't actually die on the cross, He just fainted. There was an article [ewtn.com] from the JAMA that analyzes the medical aspects of the Roman practice of crucifixion. It's not for those with a weak stomach! After reading this, I think you'll agree that it's pretty far-fetched to believe that someone could survive a crucifixion. But, if you still think He DID survive, He had to have enough strength to push aside the huge boulder from the mouth of the tomb. Of course, he'd first have to unwrap himself from the linen and massive amounts of spices and ointments which was the customary treatments for corpses at the time.
    • His disciples snuck in and stole the body. This assumes that they either snuck by the Roman guards, or killed them. If the accounts of the Gospels are to be believed, the Roman guards came and reported that the body was gone from the tomb, so that leaves us with the first one. But under Roman law, dereliction of duty (e.g. falling asleep on the post) was punishable by death! Then there's the whole aspect of the martyrdom of the apostles. It requires some heavy mental gymnastics to allow that these men went around boldly preaching a truth that they KNEW to be a lie! Not an acceptable explanation.
    As far as I'm concerned, the naturalistic explanations (are there more?) don't hold water. They require more of a leap of faith than the supernatural explanation!

    None of this is a comment on Christ himself by the way. Personally I think the stories of his behavior on the planet are enough to help people live a good life. You don't need to hinge it all on the actual "back from the dead" thing, because unless he drops into Central Park in full glory you can never prove that.

    Actually, everything DOES hinge on the resurrection. If Christ didn't rise from the dead, then He is a liar (He often predicts His own death and resurrection throughout the Gospels). Can a liar help anyone live a good life? I personally don't think so.

    No, I can't prove it to you. But I am utterly convinced that Christ IS the way, the truth, and the life. All I can do is present what I know, and wait for Him to do the rest.

    Cheers,
    Jim


    JimD
  • I gotta git me sum dat!
  • I seem to recal some cheesy 80's flick about a woman who advertised an "appology hotline" where people would call and make appologies to people they had wronged in their lives. She was going to use it as some sort of weird art exibit, but then a psycho started calling and appologising in advance for the people he was going to kill.

    But anyway... I've never completely understood the Catholic modle of confession. Obviously confession is good for the mind as well as the theoretical soul, but why to a particular person? Well, if it works for them, so be it.

    Wow, random memory association day. There was a short story I read back in high school about a town that had a tradition of confessing to the statue in the town square. People would wisper their confessions in the statue's ear. Then some society women got their deaf maid to read people's lips and tell them what people were confessing. Some sort of twilight zone creepy death ending, but I don't recal it. :)

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  • YOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHER
  • sorry about the double-post... it was an accident!
  • YOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHER
  • YOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHER
  • YOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHER
  • YOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHERYOU ARE HE AND I AM HE AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHER
  • this second one is the one i intended to post. the first got away from me before i was done editing.
  • Heh I dont know about you guys but when im not at work I like to browse at -1. I think AC posts are REAL funny some of the time. And if you guys are willing to moderate up stuff even jokingly about it that means other people think that as well. Even if its relevant to the topic. I think they are an integral part of /. and as much as Id be sad for not having something to read at work.. It would NOT be the same.
  • What do you guys think about religion and the internet? Can the two mix?

    How 'bout alt.religion.kibology? (And of course, lets not forget www.kibo.net, the Kibological Kathedral ;-)

  • That's a heck of a EULA. Microsoft must be jealous.

    I'm sure Microsoft is on the case! Their legal department will just apply some of that famous 'Microsoft innovation' (TM, pat pend.) and replace 'Jesus Christ' with 'Bill Gates'.

    There may be some initial consumer resistance to the new MS EULA, but that can be solved by initiating a hostile takeover of the major churches and exercising the vendor's 'right' to alter the agreement at any time.

    Unless the true second coming of Christ can then find a way to take over Microsoft, only the Amish and users of Free Software will go to heaven when the world BSODs in the end-times.

  • Boy... it seems that a religious post seems to bring out all the nuts.

    I think that this is a good idea. I see confession as being important to my faith. Why can't you people enjoy the idea of a relgion taking advantage of a bold new medium instead of making sarcastic remarks and stupid quips.

    Live and let live.

  • Or will I have to compile it myself and then put "modprobe confessor" into my startup script?

    I like to get my confessions out of the way immediately upon booting the machine, otherwise my transgression queue gets out of hand and I start losing clock cycles.

  • Come on you morons! Get cracking!

  • Did you use Instant Grits to make that fake puke? Threw in a few raisins and crushed nuts, a little ketchup maybe? Good man. Next time throw in just a touch of whiskey to give it the tangy zing of bile. Go forth and multiply. Pass 'GO' and collect $200.

  • Live and Let Live and Make Fun of Everything Along the Way

    This is the True Path to becoming spiritually ripped [rippedin2000.com].

  • Those 'confessions' may just be archived and used for someone's profitable writings someday.

    I used to read a lot of psychology books w/ many 'case studies' and it suddenly hit me: here these shrinks are getting upwards of $120/hr to listen to people spill their guts, and then they can turn around and write these 'private' confessions in books, using pseudonyms of course, and sell them for more bucks. What a neat racket!

    The Scarlet Pimpernel
  • I'd rather send my sins to /dev/null. This is just someones attempt to get attention. A rather lame one at that. I think that there are actually only a few religions that believe in confession.

    Why does crap like this get up on slashdot. Lately there stories seem to be less and less interesting.........

    send flames > /dev/null

  • Sorry, this isn't new news. The Reverend Benjamin Hagen, ordained minister of the Universal Life Church, has been granting "Electronic Indulgences" for over two years now.

    You can get your very own free Electronic Indulgence, at http://icodex.nethosting.com/indulge/ [nethosting.com].

    Ryan

  • As a Minister of the ULC, I am authorized to, among other things, take confession and forgive your sins.
    I will do this for free, via E-mail, though donations will be greatly appreciated.

    Sincerely.
    Rev. Mind.
  • ...and you forgot Gnome vs KDE and GPL vs BSD
  • Whoops! I forgot that God is a LPB, because he obviously won't accept you on his server with a modem. (telephone)

    Hence, high speed prayers only. And who says that God loves the poor too....*sniff*

    --
    Gonzo Granzeau

  • Unlike some place like Admitit. [admitit.net]

    George
  • The Jesus Homepage [aol.com] lets you accept Jesus as your saviour by just clicking on a link... it even provides a handy downloadable official certificate.

  • The Roman Catholic Church condemned the idea.

    ``This is not what Catholics would understand as confession. Confession cannot be done by telephone, e-mail or proxy,'' a church spokesman told the Daily Telegraph newspaper in Thursday's editions.

    500 some years ago, Martin Luther posted, on the door of the local church, a list of things he thought were really gronked up with the way the church was doing things. He had intended it to lead to a discussion with church officials; instead, it was the trigger that lead to Protestantism. The irony here is that one of the things he was protesting was the church's use "indulgences"; pay (cash) for your penance before you sin. No priest needed, thanks for praying, here's your change and thanks for shopping at Piety 'r' Us. Now the same church is protesting a variation on the same theme.

    Here's a thought; how long before someone gets into the page and sets it up to respond to various "sins" in more interesting ways...

    Forgive me, uh, father, for I have sinned. I've had impure thoughts about farm animals..."

    WHAT?!? My GOD man, you are going straight to Hell!!!

  • Everyone who is a true follower knows that is
    not Jesus's web site. for His web site is

    http://www.trog.com/jesus


    Jesus rocks nads!
  • The correct URL for the page is:
    http://www.theconfessor.co.uk/page0_new.html

    If you go to the link in the article, and you
    do not have javascript (I leave it off in my
    browser) , it wont load. Just an empty page
    (they use javascript to emulate a meta reload...
    which is funny...since page0 as listed above starts a meta reload cycle to show you the other
    stuff)

    However weirdly....at page4.html it stops again
    and there are no links or forwards or anything
    just poorly done frames and a promise that I may
    now contemplate my sins or "type them into the
    space provided".

    However, I see no space to type them in.

    Anyway...since I don't believe in "Sin" (not
    christian) I have nothing to contemplate. However
    I just thought I would let people know so others
    can see this site (for religous contemplation or
    humor...whatever floats your boat) who don't
    have javascript enabled.
  • Obviously confession is good for the mind as well as the theoretical soul, but why to a particular person?

    doing bad things makes people feel bad. confession provides a way back, recognized by the community at large (no, not on Slashdot, but think back to societies where Catholicism flourished). So, a person who feels remorse can feel that they've done something to set it right.

    Why to one person? No matter how much you say it to yourself, it does not feel like a confession, and as we often learn in life, doesn't work so hot to reveal sensitive issue even to friends. The answer? Game Theory: A priest has chosen a lifestyle (various inconvenient things like vow of poverty, etc.) that signals "I'm committed to this job which I will lose if I reveal your secrets, so you can trust me to hear your confession." Yes, there is a lot more to the role of a Priest, but I'm trying to explain how it works in a practical sense.

    Please draw no conclusions from this about my own beliefs. It is not unusual for the Mann to have wide-ranging knowledge.

  • I'd have to agree there, Nothing better than a quick confession to kurt@thepope.org to make me feel like I'm walking in the light again. Forget all these other silly confession sites, if you want to do it right get in contact with the pope. If I had moderator points, the parent topic of this post would be right on top. (Thats probably why I don't have points)
  • Looks like even "He" has bandwidth problems when it comes to being posted on /. :-)
  • the day some obscure cracker in the remote reaches of outer Azerbaijan (or wherever) announces that he's compromised the Confessor site's security and is holding the entire list of "sins and sinners" for ransom.

    Of course, if he doesn't get ransom from the site, he could always start blackmailing the individual "sinners"... this could end up being far more profitable for him than stealing any credit card database.

  • *sob* (Score:2)

    by kwsNI ( 133721 )
    Forgive me father, for I have used Windows.



    kwsNI

  • Dang, as if it's not hard enough for us Catholics to enter a dark, cramped confessional, kneel with our heads down, and talk to a man dressed in black behind a room separator.

    Now we have to endure the slow progression of messages at the web confessional, waiting and watching as messages slowly take you on a bread-crumb trail to your thoughts.

    Welcome

    In the next few pages...

    Here is an opportunity...

    By the grace of God...

    And the whole thing is presented on a blue puffy-cloud sky background, like they're Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts [yahoo.com]. Or maybe it's supposed to scare you into repentance with the resemblance to the Windows boot screen.

  • Re:Piety Online (Score:3)

    by sjames ( 1099 ) on Friday January 21, 2000 @11:54AM (#1349975) Homepage Journal

    By opening and using this software, you agree to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and saviour...

    I wonder if that would be enforcable under the proposed legislation?

  • Here goes (Score:3)

    by clasher ( 2351 ) <bkeffer@thecAUDE ... e.org minus poet> on Friday January 21, 2000 @10:18AM (#1349976) Homepage
    Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog...When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out...But the worst thing I ever done -- I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa -- and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

  • "Your confessions remains private" (Score:3)

    by joshv ( 13017 ) on Friday January 21, 2000 @09:51AM (#1349977)
    They have a little box that you can type your confession in, they claim that the information remains on your computer and is sent nowhere - wouldn't it be funny if they were actually recording each confession and having a great laugh on us?

    "Dear Lord, I spilled hot grits down my pants"

    "Dear Lord, I lusted after a petrified Natalie Portman"

    "Dear Lord, FIRST CONFESSION d00dz!"

    -josh

  • Religious routing (Score:3)

    by GoNINzo ( 32266 ) <GoNINzo@nOspaM.yahoo.com> on Friday January 21, 2000 @11:07AM (#1349978) Journal
    I had also wrote in about this story as well, and I thought it was funny that the Catholic Church were that internet savy.

    ``This is not what Catholics would understand as confession. Confession cannot be done by telephone, e-mail or proxy,'' a church spokesman told the Daily Telegraph newspaper in Thursday's editions.

    So it's obviously not valid if you are behind a firewall, but it should be fine without one, because it's port 80. Email might be ports 25, 109, 110, or 143. And remember that God will know the difference, because he most likely has passed the CCIE.

    "In the first day, you will be given nothing, and you will be required to create the heavens and the earth. You have 4 hours to complete this test. Tomarrow, the Devil will break it and you will have to fix it once again, possibly using a virgin birth."

    --
    Gonzo Granzeau

  • Please Moderate this down! (Score:3)

    by AgentSmith ( 69695 ) on Friday January 21, 2000 @09:26AM (#1349979)
    Forgive me father for I am about to Troll

    FIFTH POST BABY!!!!!!!!! . ..

    MAYBE FIFTH POST!!!!

    OK. IT'S NOT THE FIFTH POST!!!!!

    Xth POST BABY!!!!!

    OH YEAAH!!!! ALL THAT PUDDING

    NATALIE PORTMAN CLOTHED AND UNPETRIFIED!!!!

    GETTING GRITS OUT FROM MY PANTS!!!!!!

    DEPETRIFYING YOUNG WOMEN!!!!

    LARGE SLAP DADDY BEOWULF CLUSTERS BY THE BIG MAN GOD!!!!

    IS THAT CONFESSOR PORTED TO LINUX YET!!!!!!

    I BET GOD DOESN'T USE VIGOR!!!!!
    EMACS IS BETTER!! NO vi IS BETTER!!!

    CISC! NO RISC!
    KILL! MAIM! FDISK!!

    A:WINDOWS RULES!!!
    B:LINUX RULES!!!
    C: MAC OS!!!
    A+B: SHUT UP, YOU!!

    Sorry, this kinda stuff just festered. I feel much better now.


  • Go straight to the pope! (Score:3)

    by Duxup ( 72775 ) on Friday January 21, 2000 @09:16AM (#1349980) Homepage
    I'm not sure about you guys but I go straight to the man when I've got to confess someting!
    http://thepope.org/

  • Catholic Church and confession (Score:4)

    by Zach Frey ( 17216 ) <zach@zf r e y.com> on Friday January 21, 2000 @07:21PM (#1349981) Homepage

    What do they think "teling them to god" means? Telling them to a priest to recive pennance? But a priest is just a proxy for god (proxy meaning "a person authorized to speak for or represent another")... so by their own words they've condemened their own practices.

    Not really. A quick primer on the theory of the confessional, from a Roman Catholic perspective (disclaimer: no, I'm not Catholic, but I think I understand their theology well enough to explain it):

    Yes, only God can forgive sin. Jesus, being God, had/has the authority to do this (and did so, as recorded in the Gospels). Now, he also delegated some of this authority to the apostles (see "binding and loosing"), and this is where modern-day bishops and priests claim to stand in persona christi, as proxies for Christ.

    No, the Bible does not say that we must only confess our sins to God. "Confess your sins one to another." And the bit about the apostles being empowered to forgive on Christ's behalf is also biblical.

    I also think you're misunderstanding what they mean by saying that "Confession can not be done ... by proxy." They are not referring to the priest, but to the penitent. In other words, if I've done something wrong and want absolution, I can't send my mom to tell the priest and ask him to pronounce forgiveness for me. I have to go myself and ask for myself.

    There's a good argument that "cyber-confession" denies the Incarnational nature of God's grace, and this is why the Catholic Church officially condemns it as invalid and spiritually fraudulent. I think they are right to do so.

    "All men thirst to confess their crimes more than tired beasts thirst for water; but they naturally object to confessing them while other people, who have also committed the same crimes, sit by and laugh at them."
    -- G. K. Chesterton

  • FORGIVE ME SLASHDOT, FOR I HAVE TROLLED (Score:5)

    by opensourceman ( 124101 ) on Friday January 21, 2000 @09:30AM (#1349982) Homepage
    i have taken richard stallman's, eric raymond's, larry wall's, tom christiansen's, jon katz's, roblimo's, hemos's, cmdr taco's, natalie portman's and drew barrymore's names in vain, along with several others i can't even remember.

    i have lusted in my heart for hot young actresses.

    i have encouraged masturbation and marital infidelity.

    i have stolen nearly an infinite number of moderation points.

    i have murdered legitimate discussions.

    i have uttered countless untruths.

    please slashdot, redeem my eternal karma!!!


    wiping tear from cheek.

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