The women-in-STEM supporters are really happy to hear about women being in STEM, but they can't do a damn thing about all the assholes.
Yes. So am I, but you know how to get rid of the assholes?
Dismantle their arguments.
They can't bitch about quotas when there are none. When will we take away the training wheels and treat women and men the same regarding merit? Yeah, the STEM field is full of arrogant assholes, but that never stopped real pioneers and innovators. The STEM professions are not for the faint of heart and trying to cultivate a special space for women does a disservice to capable women everywhere. Talk to Sallie Ride about the shit she had to deal with during her astronaut training. They kept puttin' front and center misogyny right in her face and she kept going. It wasn't easy, but it proved point and her experience puts current workplace microagressions and diversity issues in their place.
It's a self fulfilling prophesy. "Oh well, I don't want to go into a STEM field because the men will just be assholes." Meanwhile, "Women don't want to be in STEM field, because they don't choose those fields thus they aren't interested". Break the cycle! There's more women than men attending universities in the US. They can be going for STEM fields and make women in those fields commonplace. When more women are available in the technical labor force and as company founders the less arguments can be made. The labor pool diversity takes care of itself, since it'll be real obvious in a hurry that all the unemployed STEM workers all of a sudden happen to be women.
I work with some very intelligent women who code and project manage circles around me. Some were hired before quotas and some were hired afterwards. The ones after and their co workers always have that niggling doubt of being hired for 'diversity' reasons. It's time to take off the crutches and remove the hypersensitivity. In another two decades it's going to be the Gen X crowd at the helm and we can do away with this bullshit.