Jobs' Glass Elevator Locks in Group Customers 335
Juha-Matti Laurio writes "Not eight days after Apple's new New York flagship store was unveiled, Stevie Jobs' fantastical glass elevator began acting a bit wonky, first opening and shutting its doors, then finally sealing in its passengers on the upper level. Apple store employees worked their hardest to release the bunch, but eventually the NYPD had to be called; the elevator's hydraulic system had to be drained. Close-up picture included to the source story as well."
mix-up in the mail (Score:5, Funny)
Let's get them out of the way: (Score:5, Funny)
or "Serves Apple right for having an (aero) glass lift, instead of an aqua lift!"
or "I wonder if someone overapplied thermal paste to the hydraulics?"
or "NEVER EVER ride first generation hydraulic lifts, everyone knows that."
or "Thank GOD it wasn't a vista lift!"
or "Stuck in a glass Elevator - experience agoraphobia, demophobia and claustrophobia at the same time!"
Thanks, thanks, I'll be here all night, try the sea bass!
Nyuck... (Score:3, Funny)
"Ha! Ha!".
++troll;
Damage Control (Score:5, Funny)
Jobs showed them diagrams detailing the "evil karma waves" that essentially attacked all the flowers and love that powered the magical glass elevator. He assured the agitated shoppers that there was no one to blame but Bill Gates for their inconvenience. It was proven repeatedly by a brain-washing commercial of two men standing next to each other. It is indicated that one is a PC running Windows and has to shut down during the conversation. The shoppers were encouraged to watch the video as many times as possible and to continue shopping afterward. Although humans don't run operating systems and this ad was farcical, it worked like a charm as it did with millions of Americans.
The shoppers were encouraged to think back to times when they might have been in a home or used in their own home that had a Windows network running wirelessly. Did they recall any of their family or loved ones falling ill during prolonged exposure to Windows wireless packets? They were also encouraged to share these experiences with one another and reinforce the idea that Windows is nothing but pure evil.
Why get the apple employees to let people out? (Score:5, Funny)
Google beta (Score:5, Funny)
more lame jokes (Score:5, Funny)
"Best customer retention plan ever!"
anyone else have a few?
A little wonky? (Score:5, Funny)
Why isn't anyone talking about the girl that got transformed into a blueberry? There's a cover-up, I tell you!
Serves you right (Score:5, Funny)
It Just Works.. (Score:4, Funny)
Steve's glass toy (Score:5, Funny)
FROM: sjobs@apple.com
SUBJECT: My Glass Toy Needs Coverage, Assholes
PRIORITY: Ludicrous
Phil,
My magnificent glass box elevator in New York, which is in no way derivative of the crystal pyramid entrance to the Louvre in Paris, did not receive quite enough press coverage at the unveiling.
Please arrange to have someone locked in until they shit their pants.
thx - Steve
Shame... (Score:5, Funny)
The customers could've just scratched their way out.
Well there you are then... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:i'm confused (Score:5, Funny)
Not if you like to do the same things as I do in stalled elevators with perfect strangers.
Yeah but... (Score:5, Funny)
Blueberry? I thought it was a Blackberry (Score:5, Funny)
Why isn't anyone talking about the girl that got transformed into a blueberry?
Actually, she was turned into a Blackberry. The reason no one is talking about it is that they're still trying to unravel the IP issues.
--MarkusQ
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Serves you right (Score:5, Funny)
Re:i'm confused (Score:5, Funny)
Re:mix-up in the mail (Score:5, Funny)
And there was nothing wrong with it. The doors getting stuck were part of their "Think Different" design. I mean, everyone has elevators with doors that open!
Plus, I hear it's not actually a glass elevator...the walls were considered an "optional, non-essential" component that had to be purchased seperately.
I can see the new Mac ad now... (Score:4, Funny)
Hi, I'm a PC elevator, I've been around for decades, so you know I'm relia- AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! *SMASH*
Dupe Story (Score:2, Funny)
"Stevie Jobs"? (Score:5, Funny)
People who live in glass elevators shouldn't throw Macs
The glass elevator was originally designed as a way to get around the glass ceiling
The elevator had a kernel panic because someone forgot to run the optimize program
Thank God it was running OSX, so it just froze a single elevator instead of crashing the whole store.
The Burning Question (Score:5, Funny)
Sorry, I have to do it! (Score:4, Funny)
Did the elevator show a big unhappy face
Someone must have dual booted the elevator to run Windows.
The G4 Cube reincarnated as an elevator, if they waited long enough, the sides of the elevator would have cracked and released them.
Its typical of Apple to make something look good, but ignore some obvious working defect.
Its not that the doors wouldn't open, someone forgot to take the plastic off the elevator!!!!!!
Breath out!
OK, I am done.
-
- Don't mod me down because the original article was a waste of time too!
Slight improvement (Score:3, Funny)
Looks like a serious bug (Score:5, Funny)
red button (Score:3, Funny)
Because they need to sing the song first! (Score:3, Funny)
Curse you, formatting! (Score:5, Funny)
I've got a brand new computer for you
Oompa loompa doom-pa-dee-drool
Let's just face it, it looks really cool.
Haven't you seen the ads on TV?
Only old nerdy guys use PCs.
Or else your files will all get hacked
Why don't you all just get a Mac?
Then we'll let you out of there.
Oompa loompa doom-pa-dee-zod
While you are at it, get an iPod
Then you'll live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do!
Well, you see. It's like this. (Score:2, Funny)
Whats with the person at the front?? (Score:3, Funny)
It looks like a guys head/hair cut, some moderately muscular arms... wearing a SKIRT, white panty hose, and womens shoes!
Oh, wait... Its an Apple store. Nevermind, nothing to see here.
Re:Let's get them out of the way: (Score:4, Funny)
It's "People in Glass Houses si...si...sink ships" you insensitive clod!!
Agoraphobic, agnostic, dyslectic, insomniac (Score:5, Funny)
Ever hear the one about the agoraphobic, agnostic, dyslectic, insomniac?
Stayed up all night, in a glass elevator, wondering if there really is a Dog.
Re:Why get the apple employees to let people out? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Serves you right (Score:5, Funny)
"Linux sux becuz its elevators are always getting stuck and trapping passengers. You should all switch to Windows."
Then you'll get scores of Linux fanboys clamoring to prove to you how easy it is to fix Linux elevator problems.
Oh the Irony (Score:5, Funny)
QED (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Well, you see. It's like this. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:mix-up in the mail (Score:2, Funny)
Hey... (Score:5, Funny)