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SPECIAL BIRTHDAY REPORT!!! HEMOS IS 30 :) :) :)

Posted by CmdrTaco on Fri Mar 31, '06 09:22 PM
from the older-than-you've-ever-been-and-now-you're-even-older dept.

Jeff "Hemos" Bates, who you all know and love here on Slashdot, celebrated his 30th Birthday last Monday. The only way to properly celebrate would be to send him belated e-congratulations to hemos at slashdot.org. Show the love. He'd do it for you. No I'm not kidding.

So, over the years, Rob, as only true friends do, has managed to cause my inbox to explode over the years. Now, it's payback time. That's right, our very own CmdrTaco is turning 30 today. I highly encourage you to drop him an e-mail at (remove the spam parts) maldaSPAM@SPAMslashdot.org. And of course, birthday presents of single malt scotch can be sent c/o of me. I'll...uh...make sure he gets them.

This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

The Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not responsible for them in any way.

Uh....
(Score:5, Funny)

by UnCivil Liberty (786163) * on Friday March 31, @09:23PM (#15039098)

Show the love. He'd do it for you. No I'm not kidding.

With this new "OMG!!! Ponies!!!" layout I'm afraid of Hemos showing me anything...
- Not to fear by Scareduck (Score:2) Friday March 31, @09:33PM
  - Re:Not to fear by Yocto Yotta (Score:2) Friday March 31, @09:47PM
- Re:Uh.... by carambola5 (Score:2) Friday March 31, @09:51PM
  - 1 reply beneath your current threshold.
- Re:Uh.... by shadowbearer (Score:2) Friday March 31, @11:57PM
- Re:Uh.... by KingArthur10 (Score:1) Saturday April 01, @12:18AM
- 1 reply beneath your current threshold.
uhm guys by *no comment* (Score:3) Friday March 31, @09:24PM
- Re:uhm guys by Barny (Score:2) Friday March 31, @09:26PM
- Re:uhm guys
  (Score:5, Informative)
  
  by scum-e-bag (211846) on Friday March 31, @09:26PM (#15039123)
  (http://www.slashdot.org/ | Last Journal: Friday June 23, @06:06AM)
  
  That depends where you live. The world doesn't revolve around the USA...
  
  seppo
  
  [ Parent ]
  - Re:uhm guys
    (Score:5, Funny)
    
    by Anoraknid the Sartor (9334) on Friday March 31, @09:31PM (#15039173)
    (http://kyushu.com/review/japan_travel/)
    
    Sure - it is well known it revolves around the Poles....
    
    Must make them very happy in Warsaw.
    
    [ Parent ]
    - Re:uhm guys by Detritus (Score:2) Friday March 31, @11:06PM
      - Re:uhm guys by Watson Ladd (Score:1) Saturday April 01, @07:59AM
  - Re:uhm guys by heinousjay (Score:2) Friday March 31, @09:49PM
  - Re:uhm guys by raoul666 (Score:2) Friday March 31, @10:18PM
    - Re:uhm guys
      (Score:5, Funny)
      
      by log0n (18224) <pbassjamsNO@SPAMgmail.com> on Friday March 31, @10:31PM (#15039513)
      
      All good nerds know April Fools starts at GMT :>
      
      [ Parent ]
      - Re:uhm guys by Q-Hack! (Score:2) Friday March 31, @10:42PM
        Re:uhm guys by Cylix (Score:2) Friday March 31, @11:10PM
        Re:uhm guys by Math, The Ancient (Score:1) Saturday April 01, @10:33AM
      - Re:uhm guys by ShadowFlyP (Score:1) Saturday April 01, @01:11PM
      - 1 reply beneath your current threshold.
  - Re:uhm guys by chris_eineke (Score:3) Friday March 31, @10:20PM
  - Re:uhm guys by MobileTatsu-NJG (Score:1) Friday March 31, @10:24PM
  - April Fools! by austinshea (Score:1) Friday March 31, @10:43PM
  - ObSovietRussia by thelenm (Score:2) Friday March 31, @11:45PM
  - Re:uhm guys by captjc (Score:1) Saturday April 01, @01:34AM
- Re:uhm guys by idonthack (Score:2) Friday March 31, @09:29PM
  - Re:uhm guys by hunterx11 (Score:2) Friday March 31, @09:37PM
    - Re:uhm guys by idonthack (Score:3) Friday March 31, @09:56PM
      - Re:uhm guys by idonthack (Score:2) Saturday April 01, @10:30AM
      - 1 reply beneath your current threshold.
  - Re:uhm guys by Traxton1 (Score:2) Friday March 31, @10:10PM
  - Re:uhm guys by 1u3hr (Score:2) Saturday April 01, @12:17AM
    - Re:uhm guys by idonthack (Score:2) Saturday April 01, @10:39AM
- Re:uhm guys by ajdlinux (Score:1) Saturday April 01, @03:58AM
- 2 replies beneath your current threshold.
Oh.... by KingOfGod (Score:3) Friday March 31, @09:24PM
- AKA by technoextreme (Score:2) Friday March 31, @09:33PM
  - Why does he need a girlfriend? by Ohreally_factor (Score:2) Friday March 31, @10:08PM
Here's what I did - everyone else do it too!
(Score:5, Funny)

by algae (2196) on Friday March 31, @09:24PM (#15039106)

$ while true; do
> mail -s "HAPPY BIRFDAY HEMUS!!!!!" hemos@slashdot.org done
- Re:Here's what I did - everyone else do it too! by idonthack (Score:2) Friday March 31, @09:32PM
- Re:Here's what I did - everyone else do it too! by Anonymous Coward (Score:1) Friday March 31, @09:36PM
- 1 reply beneath your current threshold.
An e-card?
(Score:4, Funny)

by epee1221 (873140) on Friday March 31, @09:25PM (#15039107)

Is slashdotting an inbox really a good idea?
- Re:An e-card? by UnCivil Liberty (Score:1) Friday March 31, @09:27PM
  - Re:An e-card? by JohnnyBigodes (Score:2) Friday March 31, @10:46PM
- Re:An e-card? by Kronik Gamer (Score:1) Friday March 31, @09:35PM
- Re:An e-card? by shadowbearer (Score:2) Saturday April 01, @12:04AM
- 1 reply beneath your current threshold.
Story text correction...
(Score:4, Funny)

by apk (120253) on Friday March 31, @09:26PM (#15039117)

Um, no. Don't know him, don't love him, and I only show my "love" to the Ponies!!!

There. Fixed.
- Re:Story text correction... by Neko-kun (Score:1) Friday March 31, @10:54PM
- 1 reply beneath your current threshold.
I knew it!
(Score:5, Funny)

by irimi_00 (962766) on Friday March 31, @09:27PM (#15039130)

Pr0n does have strange effects on society.
Hemos winner of Slashdot's prestigous by technoextreme (Score:2) Friday March 31, @09:27PM
- 1 reply beneath your current threshold.
Thank you Christopher Finke
(Score:5, Funny)

by cubicle_cowboy (521716) on Friday March 31, @09:27PM (#15039135)

If it weren't for your Firefox Extension, I'd be clawing my eyeballs out ;)
Strange email format?
(Score:4, Funny)

by Captain Perspicuous (899892) on Friday March 31, @09:27PM (#15039136)

Hey, why the strange email format? Hemos email is hemos@slashdot.org . Let's write it correctly so that our friends from the spiced pork and meat front can join in with the congratulatory messages! :-)
Very Happy Birthday To You by omineo (Score:3) Friday March 31, @09:27PM
- 1 reply beneath your current threshold.
30 is good. by suso (Score:2) Friday March 31, @09:27PM
- Re:30 is good. by Hydrogenoid (Score:2) Saturday April 01, @05:05AM
  - Re:30 is good. by freakmn (Score:1) Saturday April 01, @10:12AM
- Re:30 is good. by corvair2k1 (Score:2) Friday March 31, @11:32PM
- 1 reply beneath your current threshold.
if it's true... by 23skiddoo (Score:1) Friday March 31, @09:27PM
Wow... by meme_police (Score:2) Friday March 31, @09:28PM
Un-antispamified email
(Score:5, Funny)

by killa62 (828317) on Friday March 31, @09:28PM (#15039149)

hemos@slashdot.org

^
so he gets more spam
SPAM ME PLZ NOW!!!! [mailto]
- Re:Un-antispamified email by nsaneinside (Score:1) Friday March 31, @10:25PM
So in other words by moochfish (Score:2) Friday March 31, @09:29PM
Our present for Hemos by Rick Zeman (Score:2) Friday March 31, @09:29PM
I get the joke.... I get the joke...
(Score:5, Insightful)

by technoextreme (885694) on Friday March 31, @09:29PM (#15039160)

Hehehh.. Read the description. Taco said Hemos celebrated his birthday last Monday. Get it. He is making fun of the fact that stories usually get posted a week later and people complain about it. Perhaps though I am reading to much into it.
- Re:I get the joke.... I get the joke...
  (Score:5, Funny)
  
  by cmclean (230069) on Friday March 31, @09:43PM (#15039249)
  (http://fukka.co.uk/ | Last Journal: Saturday August 06, @06:06PM)
  
  He is making fun of the fact that stories usually get posted a week later and people complain about it.
  And for added effect, there will be a dupe next week.
  
  [ Parent ]
  - Re:I get the joke.... I get the joke... by Aranth Brainfire (Score:2) Friday March 31, @09:57PM
    - yeah right by drachenstern (Score:1) Saturday April 01, @07:25AM
- 1 reply beneath your current threshold.
special present by sho-gun (Score:2) Friday March 31, @09:30PM
30, FLIRTY, AND FABULOUS!!!! by Darth Liberus (Score:2) Friday March 31, @09:32PM
- Re:30, FLIRTY, AND FABULOUS!!!! by LiquidCoooled (Score:1) Friday March 31, @09:40PM
  - Re:30, FLIRTY, AND FABULOUS!!!! by Darth Liberus (Score:2) Friday March 31, @09:43PM
- 1 reply beneath your current threshold.
Unccl oveguqnl! by mfarah (Score:1) Friday March 31, @09:32PM
- Re:Unccl oveguqnl! by Barny (Score:1) Friday March 31, @09:37PM
Heh, welcome to the club Jeff. :) by OctobrX (Score:1) Friday March 31, @09:36PM
30!?! Wait 'til 40
(Score:5, Funny)

by warpSpeed (67927) <slashdot@fredcom.com> on Friday March 31, @09:39PM (#15039233)
(http://www.fredcom.com/ | Last Journal: Saturday March 02, @01:41PM)

An you get that appointment with Dr Jellyfingers.
Happy BDay, and thanks for inventing the best way to kill time for geeks.
Happy Bday by necrognome (Score:2) Friday March 31, @09:44PM
- Re:Happy Bday by Gice (Score:1) Friday March 31, @10:38PM
- Re:Happy Bday by alan.briolat (Score:1) Friday March 31, @10:38PM
No jokes yet?
(Score:4, Funny)

by jbailey999 (146222) on Friday March 31, @09:44PM (#15039257)

What?!? 32 comments and no jokes saying that now that he's 30[0] he can no longer be called Master Bates? DID EVERYONE ELSE IN SLASHDOT GROW UP TOO?

Sheesh people.. ;)

[0] Dict entry 5 from the 1913 Websters for those without context.
OMG :)
(Score:5, Funny)

by nugneant (553683) <c45kyew02@sneakema i l . com> on Friday March 31, @09:45PM (#15039263)
(http://db.etree.org/ZappaPenguin | Last Journal: Wednesday May 17, @10:13AM)

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!11! HEmoS U cuTiE 4 ReAL r U rellY ThIR30? BCuz U LoOOK yungEr ReLLY :) :) *KiSS* *mWAH* i loVe uR uPDateS sPEciaLLY wHen U sAy MiCROSoft sUX beCauSe TheY sOoOoOoOoOoOo dO! oMG rEaLLY!!! bIll GaTEs is a HIdEus TRoLl oF a MaN noT a HoTTIe lIak u AND LiNuS TrIvOlDooReEs!!1! ok u HottIE hIt mE baCk nD ADD mE to uR mySPace DARlinG ;-) ;-) <3 *mWAH*

HaPPY bIrthDAy HEMOS :)
- Like, Totally!!! by HishamMuhammad (Score:2) Friday March 31, @10:40PM
- Re:OMG :) by fbjon (Score:2) Saturday April 01, @12:00AM
- Re:OMG :) by AgentCooper (Score:1) Saturday April 01, @05:30AM
April Fools
(Score:5, Funny)

by heptapod (243146) <heptapod@gmail.com> on Friday March 31, @09:48PM (#15039286)
(Last Journal: Sunday February 26, @12:08AM)

I know this is April Fool's Day because they actually used the correct spelling of "congratulations".
Taco by prisoner (Score:2) Friday March 31, @09:50PM
My god... by helioquake (Score:2) Friday March 31, @09:55PM
You know... by Donniedarkness (Score:2) Friday March 31, @09:55PM
- Re:You know... by FourStarGeneral (Score:1) Friday March 31, @10:39PM
Cool by md04 (Score:1) Friday March 31, @09:59PM
Dear Slashdot Guys,
(Score:5, Funny)

by identity0 (77976) on Friday March 31, @10:01PM (#15039354)
(Last Journal: Monday March 31, @02:23AM)

I was in the process of getting my company, a Fortune 500 company in the defense sector with global operations, to switch major IT components to open source software. I had proposed that we switch our current nightmarish mix of Windows NT, 2000, XP, VMS, AIX, IIS, MSSQL, Oracle, Sybase, .Net, C++, VB, ActiveX, Java, Snobol, COBOL, Punch cards, and a giant wall of post-it notes with Linux, Apache, MySQL, and Perl.

The management was very worried about the level of support, but of course I assured them that we could do everything in-house. Then, they were worried that Linux and the "free software hippie crowd" was too unprofessional, and we would lose prestiege using their products. I had assured them that you guys were clean-cut, well-adjusted young men dedicatted to the scholarly task of Software Engineering, and was showing them around the F/OSS sites to prove my point. Everything was going well, until I came to Slashdot.

First, a wall of pink assaulted their eyes, and a collective gasp came out of the wall of grey suits in the conference room. Then the "OMG!!! Ponies!!!" tagline slowly sank in, and before I could react, they had noticed the very unprofessional line of emoticons (against Company Information Technology Policy CITP-0034A-1), and use of official sites to convey personal messages (against Company Information Technology Policy CITP-1138-THX). I panicked, and started to explain that there must be something wrong, they must have been hacked by teenage girls or something, but before I could go further, The Chairman Himself spoke up. He said, "My god, either they're a bunch of preverts an hemos-"(I think he meant homos)"-or they've been pwn3d by some little girlies!" (I'm still not sure if I heard him say 'pwn3d'-maybe I imagined it in the stress of the moment).

The Chairman then went on to explain that there was no way that our company, a respectable organization founded by, and still run by, patriotic God-fearing Anglo-Saxon males, could get mixed up with such a deviant and preverted group of people, and there was no way we could trust any software from 'men' such as these, no sir. The company's Open Source project was quietly shut down after that, and now they've even removed FireFox and gone back to "Good old-fashioned American-as-apple-pie Internet Explorer".

Now I have been fired, and sent to Guantanamo Bay for treasonous actions such as mine. I was able to smuggle a Commie 64 here up my ass, though, and my cellmate Junis from Afghanistan has been showing me how to use it to browse the web and get to Slashdot.

Dear God, my life sucks now. And it's all because of YOU, Taco!

Sincerely,
Inamate TRG-113
- Re: Oblig Outsiders Quote by The Meshback (Score:1) Friday March 31, @10:20PM
- Re:Dear Slashdot Guys, by Anonymous Coward (Score:1) Friday March 31, @10:40PM
- Re:Dear Slashdot Guys, by shadowbearer (Score:2) Saturday April 01, @12:10AM
- Re:Dear Slashdot Guys, by goofyheadedpunk (Score:2) Friday March 31, @11:39PM
- Re:Dear Slashdot Guys, by The Cydonian (Score:1) Saturday April 01, @12:03AM
- 2 replies beneath your current threshold.
Pink Psychology by Danathar (Score:2) Friday March 31, @10:06PM
Birthday Picture by Werrismys (Score:1) Friday March 31, @10:11PM
- wow by mnemonic_ (Score:2) Friday March 31, @10:19PM
4/1 - Does Taco sleep? by The Meshback (Score:1) Friday March 31, @10:11PM
MY EYES!!!!!!!!! by Caduceus1 (Score:2) Friday March 31, @10:17PM
Remember... by ursabear (Score:1) Friday March 31, @10:22PM
By the way...it's not too early... by Caduceus1 (Score:2) Friday March 31, @10:27PM
Is this MySpace? by NeoBeans (Score:2) Friday March 31, @10:27PM
Only when Pokemon gaming is over.. by bangzilla (Score:2) Friday March 31, @10:33PM
Congrats Hemos by delflyzero (Score:1) Friday March 31, @10:33PM
Appropriate Respones to Hideous Pink Website... by sesshomaru (Score:2) Friday March 31, @10:46PM
Happy Birthday! by motox (Score:1) Friday March 31, @10:50PM
As a present... by DrewCapu (Score:1) Friday March 31, @10:55PM
Aversion therapy by NotQuiteReal (Score:2) Friday March 31, @10:58PM
Like, HaPpY BdAy!!!1!! LOLOL by Winlin (Score:1) Friday March 31, @11:09PM
Repost
(Score:4, Funny)

by Perdo (151843) on Saturday April 01, @02:51AM (#15040510)
(http://www.theinquirer.net/ | Last Journal: Wednesday October 23, @05:40AM)

This same happy birthday hemos story has been reposted, what, like 30 times already. Jesus, this was old news like 7 years ago [slashdot.org]
I thought the redesign was a birthday gift by opencity (Score:2) Saturday April 01, @03:58AM
APRIL FOOLS! by Eideteker (Score:1) Saturday April 01, @04:28AM
CowboyNeal by schnipschnap (Score:1) Saturday April 01, @07:58AM
- Re:CowboyNeal by chawly (Score:1) Sunday April 02, @04:56AM
Misead by MaxPowerDJ (Score:1) Saturday April 01, @08:18AM
Re:Great, Another Wasted Day by Shacky (Score:1) Friday March 31, @10:22PM
- Re:Great, Another Wasted Day by bryanporter (Score:1) Friday March 31, @10:25PM
  - Re:Great, Another Wasted Day by niXcamiC (Score:1) Saturday April 01, @01:01AM
Hypocrite Alert by iced_773 (Score:2) Saturday April 01, @12:51AM
- Re:Hypocrite Alert by iced_773 (Score:2) Tuesday April 04, @06:46PM
- 1 reply beneath your current threshold.
21 replies beneath your current threshold.

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SPECIAL BIRTHDAY REPORT!!! HEMOS IS 30 :) :) :)

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Uh....

Re:uhm guys

Re:uhm guys

Re:uhm guys

Here's what I did - everyone else do it too!

An e-card?

Story text correction...

I knew it!

Thank you Christopher Finke

Strange email format?

Un-antispamified email

I get the joke.... I get the joke...

Re:I get the joke.... I get the joke...

30!?! Wait 'til 40

No jokes yet?

OMG :)

April Fools

Dear Slashdot Guys,

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