HBO Exec Proposes DRM Name Change

surfingmarmot writes "An HBO executive has figured out the problem with DRM acceptance — it's the name. HBO's chief technology officer Bob Zitter now wants to refer to the technology as Digital Consumer Enablement. Because, you see, DRM actually helps consumers by getting more content into their hands. The company already has HD movies on demand ready to go, but is delaying them because of ownership concerns. Says Zitter, 'Digital Consumer Enablement would more accurately describe technology that allows consumers "to use content in ways they haven't before," such as enjoying TV shows and movies on portable video players like iPods. "I don't want to use the term DRM any longer," said Zitter, who added that content-protection technology could enable various new applications for cable operators.'"

Bad News for HBO exec

[mwissel]

Shit isn't of any higher value by calling it gold.

how about...

[smitty97]

Consumer Rights Access Program

DRM = Digitally Restricted Media

[sdo1]

DRM = Digitally Restricted Media
DCE = Digitally Constrained Entertainment

A turd by any other name would still smell as foul... er, or something like that.

-S

Re:how about...

[TCQuad]

No Content Left Behind?

I must send a gift to Bob Zitter

[Weaselmancer]

A bouquet of "fully organic fecal aroma enhancers". Don't worry - they're just like roses.

Re:Freakanomics

[Anonymous Coward]

In the past I believe that they have been called "drivers." Also, they have made things work, as opposed to keeping them from working. Also, drivers haven't in the past sought to manage digital rights.

ya..

[wizardforce]

"Digital Consumer Enablement would more accurately describe technology that allows consumers "to use content in ways they haven't before," In other news HBO announced new functionality for DRMed CDs- as a fancy coaster. No longer will people be restricted to AOL disks to support their drinks.

Re:Freakanomics

[aichpvee]

I'm not going to call it piracy anymore. I prefer Consumer Choice Enablement. CCE allows consumers (not customers, since you won't be paying for the service) to enjoy content not only in ways they haven't before, such as on portable video players like the iAudio A2, but at a more reasonable price than they have been offered in the past. This is also a win-win situation for the content creators as it alleviates all packaging and most distribution costs, as well as providing excellent word-of-mouth advertising for FREE!

Re:Okay, It's just a term

[Kelbear]

Suprise sex.

Renaming fun

[dissy]

I can't agree more!

I no longer want anyone to call it 'copyright violation', but instead lets call it 'early retirement to the public domain'

Powerful Idea

[rlp]

His idea is very powerful and also enhances the growth of plants.

Yeah, right.

[rob1980]

Just because "baking brownies" is a euphemism for "taking a shit" doesn't mean it's going to smell any better.

DRM helps users?

[Anonymous Coward]

DRM actually helps consumers by getting more content into their hands.

Dude, how can you misspell P2P like that? You on meth or a Dvorak keyboard?

Call it what it is...

[FellowConspirator]

The technology is a Fair Use Circumvention Kit, consisting of equal parts technology, marketing, and industry-written legislation.

The term Fair Use Circumvention Kit is not only much more descriptive of the true nature of the beast, the acronym is also easy to remember, catchy, and equally descriptive.

Obligatory Futurama

[richdun]

Slurm Queen: As for you, you will be submerged in Royal Slurm which, in a matter of minutes, will transform you into a Slurm Queen like myself.

Small Glurmo #1: But, Your Highness, she's a commoner. Her Slurm will taste foul.

Slurm Queen: Yes! Which is why we'll market it as New Slurm. Then, when everyone hates it, we'll bring back Slurm Classic, and make billions!

(thanks to The Neutral Planet [geocities.com])

Re:Okay, It's just a term

[Stanistani]

happy surprise sex

Excellent Idea!

[Greyfox]

I propose "Herpes".

Yeah I would rip that song from the CD to my ipod but the herpes kept me from doing it.

Yeah I would post that clip from Colbert on Youtube but... you know... the herpes...

That'd be awesome!

A rose by any other name

[Vrallis]

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet...

A steaming pile of shit by any other name would still smell like shit.

Tactics like this make me sick. Every college student working on Marketing degrees should be rounded up and put to work on a farm. At least shoveling shit there would be of benefit to humanity.

It's not buggery

[spun]

It's an internal colon massage! Now bend over...

Rightsizing

[toriver]

This is a suit doing the same eupheismology as when the negatively laden "downsizing" (which was still better than "decimating" I guess) was turned into "rightsizing". These days the negatively laden "offshoring" has also been substituted by "rightshoring".

So they need to come up with a term that starts with "right". "Rightlocking" sounds about right since you're locked to the industry's restrictions.

So: "Rightlocking". Remember, you read it first on /.

Not quite right

[Aim Here]

Taking away consumers fair use rights, and the abilities to copy data is now 'enablement'?

Okay, I can see where they're going with this. It opens up a whole new way of looking at things.

Perhaps those guys in Guantanamo bay were being introduced to cellroom-based liberation therapy, where they are given brand new rights to stay in tiny windowless cubicles behind bars in Cuba, unlike the rest of us, who have to be kept out of there with fences and machine gun nests and minefields. And those Abu Graib so-called "torture victims" were in actual fact being given the benefit of the government's pain-tolerance management entitlement scheme. And at Virginia Tech recently, we had a private citizen taking it upon himself to offer the staff and students a free program of ballistics-based physiological refurbishment.

I think the people behind this 'Digital Consumer Enablement' idea should use it as the basis for a self-administered proctological insertment opportunity.

Re:Freakanomics

[A nonymous Coward]

P.S. ATM Machine.

Isn't that the factory that makes AT Machines?

Interesting name...

[Darundal]

Calling DRM "Digital Consumer Enablement" is the same as calling the rape and assault of a woman "Automatic soul-mate bonding".

Re:Okay, It's just a term

[Anonymous Coward]

'assault with a friendly weapon'

Re:Freakanomics

[Falladir]

...to manage digital rights.

I could be wrong, but I think the management is supposed to be digital, not the rights. :)

Re:Okay, It's just a term

[LWATCDR]

I like the term pre consensual sex.

Re:Okay, It's just a term

[Anonymous Coward]

'Love at first sight'

Re:Freakanomics

[bill_mcgonigle]

Software DRM has changed considerably over the last 20 years, but it still exists.

Argh - I can hear my C-1541 drive heads chattering now!

(that never stopped copying either...)

Re:Freakanomics

[zero_offset]

Right, right. I must have "enabled" my reading comprehension skills, HBO-style.

Re:Freakanomics

[bynary]

A tird by any other name would smell just as bad.

Re:Freakanomics

[ceoyoyo]

You missed the point. If you were paying, you'd be a customer. With Consumer Choice Enablement you don't have to pay, you just consume!

Re:Wrong name

[maxwell demon]

"Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one."
Matthew 5:37

Does that mean everyone who used the "Cancel" button goes to hell?

Re: H.E.R.P.E.S.

[fred fleenblat]

* Highly Effective Restriction of Personal Entertainment Systems
* Had Ecstasy, Resigned to Pretty Excruciating Software
* Hamstrung Electronic Reuse Platform--Extra Stupid
* Half-assed Extra Rotten Playing Encryption Setup
* Helps Evil Recording People Eat Sushi

Re:Translating service.

[PurifyYourMind]

Jakob Nielsen, is that you?

That's the Spirit!

[Greyfox]

From this day forth I propose that we refer to the content protection system previously known as "DRM" as HERPES! You could copy that DVD if it didn't have HERPES! I'd subscribe to HBO but I'm morally opposed to HERPES! Microsoft Word now comes with HERPES! Linus and RMS say 'no' to HERPES!

Do I have a second?

Re:Freakanomics

[Vainglorious Coward]

P.S. ATM Machine.

Isn't that the factory that makes AT Machines?

No, you're thinking of the automated ATM machine.

There must be something in the air today - only this morning, I heard a radio presenter talking about "personal PIN numbers"

Re:Freakanomics

[StikyPad]

demand a return to proper naming conventions.

HA! A return.. that's a good one.

I am a person!

[nurb432]

No you arent. You are just another number, that pays taxes to keep the system going.

Re:Freakanomics

[Rei]

DRM is alive and well in software.

No it's not! Remember, it's "Digital Consumer Enablement" now!

I, for one, welcome this change. Nothing makes the public dislike something faster than giving it an Orwellian, "War-Is-Peace" type name. I mean, picture these name changes:

SUV: "Environment Enhancing Vehicle"
Semi-Automatic Rifle: "Bloodshed Prevention Device"
Watching paint dry: "Paint's Amazing Adventure!"
Shooting fish in a barrel: "Experts-only Marksmanship Challenge"
Zombie invasion: "Undead Welcoming Party"
Invading Iraq to pursue your hairbrained geopolitical theories at the expense of the local population: "Freedom"

Re:I am a person!

[Chris Burke]

I am not a number! I am a man! And don't you eve... oh wait, I'm number 5. Haha. In your face, number 6!

Re:Freakanomics

[double07]

Reminds me of that Simpsons quote: Marge:I don't want a cellular transmitter sticking out of my roof. OmniLady: We prefer to think of them as, "keep in touch towers."

Re:Call it what it is...

[KewlioMZX]

And for programmers to create software to access this technology: Fair Use Circumvention Kit - Edition for Developers