Enron's Kenneth Lay Dies

Enron's Kenneth Lay Dies 868

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @02:44PM from the so-long-and-thanks-for-all-the-sarbox dept.

Don420 writes "This morning the biggest corporate criminal in modern history, Kenneth Lay, died of a massive coronary before he could receive his sentence. Lay was found guilty of being in charge of the scheme that had many lose their live-savings through a scheme of complex offshore holdings and is to thank for our having to live with Sarbanes-Oxely." From the article: "Enron filed for bankruptcy in December 2001 after investigators found it had used partnerships to conceal more than $1 billion in debt and inflate profits. Enron's downfall cost 4,000 employees their jobs and many of them their life savings, and led to billions of dollars of losses for investors."

Enron's Kenneth Lay Dies

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KARMA (Score:1, Funny)

by cavtroop ( 859432 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @02:46PM (#15661708)

'nuf said.

{damn /. filters}

Re:bye bye baby (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @02:49PM (#15661739)

You'll be there too, eh?

they're right! (Score:5, Funny)

by Trailer Trash ( 60756 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @02:50PM (#15661751) Homepage

So, now everybody here who keeps saying "Ken Lay did blah blah blah and never faced any jail time" is actually right.

I hope BSD isn't really dying...

In related news... (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @02:51PM (#15661760)

Construction has begun at the Hope Memorial Cemetery to install new drainage tiles in anticipation of the 4,000+ people expected to arrive within the next week to piss on Mr. Lay's grave.

I just heard some sad news (Score:5, Funny)

by caluml ( 551744 ) writes: <slashdot&spamgoeshere,calum,org> on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @02:51PM (#15661763) Homepage

I just heard some sad news on talk radio - Ethical paragon Kenneth Lay was found dead in his Colorado home this morning. There weren't any more details. I'm sure everyone in the Slashdot community will miss him - even if you didn't enjoy his work, there's no denying his contributions to business culture. Truly an American icon.

Looks like instead of prison time.... (Score:3, Funny)

by gmb61 ( 815164 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @02:53PM (#15661780)

God opted for the death penalty.

Re:Another perspective on Ken Lay... (Score:5, Funny)

by vancondo ( 986849 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @02:56PM (#15661806) Homepage

Ted Bundy was polite and charming too.

Well that does it! No more hanging around polite charming people for me. From now on I'm only going to associate with people that have demonic beady eyes and fresh blood dripping from their chin.

..unless the polite charming people also have a lot of money

Playing the trump card (Score:5, Funny)

by El_Smack ( 267329 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @02:57PM (#15661819)

God for the win!!!

Re:How Convenient... (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @02:57PM (#15661824)

"not everything is a conspiracy"
That's EXACTLY what THEY want you to think!

hummm...doubtful (Score:3, Funny)

by tloh ( 451585 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @02:58PM (#15661831)

This morning the biggest corporate criminal in modern history, Kenneth Lay, died of a massive coronary...

You just watch... I'll bet he is lying yet once again. /duck

Is there *ANY* event... (Score:5, Funny)

by Quiet_Desperation ( 858215 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @02:59PM (#15661834)

...these days that does not bring out the conspiracy yahoos?
Seriously, some days I just want to punch all the cryptoloons in the balls. And if they don't have balls, I'll graft donor balls onto them and punch those.
Damn, I need more vacation.

Re:Another perspective on Ken Lay... (Score:5, Funny)

by 93,000 ( 150453 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @03:01PM (#15661865)

Well that does it! No more hanging around polite charming people for me. From now on I'm only going to associate with people that have demonic beady eyes and fresh blood dripping from their chin.

Hello new friend! Wanna go throw rocks at my neighors cat?

Slashdot perspective (Score:3, Funny)

by KeeghanMacAllan ( 842985 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @03:17PM (#15662000)

"This morning the biggest corporate criminal in modern history, Kenneth Lay, died of a massive coronary before he could receive his sentence."

Now THAT is what I call a karma mod!

Farewell Ken (Score:5, Funny)

by Keichann ( 888574 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @03:19PM (#15662021)

Posterity will ne'er survey
A nobler grave than this:
Here lie the bones of Kenneth Lay:
Stop, traveller, and piss.

Re:Another perspective on Ken Lay... (Score:5, Funny)

by Ebirah ( 528097 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @03:21PM (#15662037) Homepage

Oh my god, they killed Kenny!

Re:I just heard some sad news (Score:4, Funny)

by Scaba ( 183684 ) writes: <.moc.aicnarfeoj. .ta. .eoj.> on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @03:22PM (#15662048)

At least we know he's in heaven now, with all of the other rich white guys.

Oh my God - (Score:2, Funny)

by flyingfsck ( 986395 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @03:28PM (#15662117)

they killed Kenny!

Re:As a republican, I'd like to say... (Score:3, Funny)

by ichigo 2.0 ( 900288 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @03:35PM (#15662186)

Are you implying that Republicans aren't human beings? ;)

Re:Life Insurance (Score:3, Funny)

by Prof.Phreak ( 584152 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @03:39PM (#15662225) Homepage

"Two wrongs don't make a right".

``But three lefts do.''

In Soviet Enron... (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @03:44PM (#15662280)

... The corpse defecates on YOU!

Re:"He Didn't Fall..." (Score:2, Funny)

by xedd ( 75960 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @03:47PM (#15662314)

I can't but think he didn't die. He's getting plastic surgery done on him right now, and will assume a new identity.
They could have been planning this for the last several years. Christ, they've had enough time to think the details through...

Re:Doubt it's faked... (Score:2, Funny)

by Mister Whirly ( 964219 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @03:51PM (#15662347) Homepage

"At least he saved us the tax dollars it would have cost to shelter and feed him."

They should engrave that on his headstone - "His last act was to actually save the country some money."

Comment removed (Score:2, Funny)

by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @03:53PM (#15662369)

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:As a republican, I'd like to say... (Score:3, Funny)

by Mister Whirly ( 964219 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @03:53PM (#15662372) Homepage

Not as much as I admire your sarcasm... ;)

Re:"He Didn't Fall..." (Score:5, Funny)

by Thalagyrt ( 851883 ) * writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @04:08PM (#15662499)

He had a heart attack because his arteries were embezzeling mass amounts of blood from his capillaries!

*badum ching*

Re:Another perspective on Ken Lay... (Score:3, Funny)

by GigG ( 887839 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @04:08PM (#15662505)

Well that does it! No more hanging around polite charming people for me.

That's why I hang around /.

Re:Doubt it's faked... (Score:3, Funny)

by MasterC ( 70492 ) writes: <cmlburnett@gm[ ].com ['ail' in gap]> on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @04:14PM (#15662558) Homepage

A 20 year sentence would ahve effectively been life for a man of his age...

A negative 2 month, 6 day sentence was effectively a life sentence for him.

Simple explanation (Score:3, Funny)

by It's all Krista's Fa ( 776911 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @04:19PM (#15662607)

God called. He wants to know where his pension is.

Re:Another perspective on Ken Lay... (Score:5, Funny)

by greg_barton ( 5551 ) * writes: <greg_barton@yaho ... m minus math_god> on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @04:19PM (#15662611) Homepage Journal

Need anyone be reminded of the thousands of employees, shareholders and suppliers that the late Mr Lay metaphorically urinated, on as he profited from their misfortune?

Dude! You miss the point. That's called "trickle down economics."

Re:Do you remember brownouts? (Score:5, Funny)

by sheldon ( 2322 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @04:24PM (#15662644)

Umm...

I'm not quite sure where Enron fits in there but certainly they were not the only companies messing with the market, and in the end it was the regulators' fault for allowing the market to be messed with in the first place.

LOL!

Where do the Enron Traders who were taped by the Snohomish Public Utility [cbsnews.com] fit into this?

I think it's funny how you start off your argument claiming the problem was not enough deregulation, and then you end it by blaming the regulators for not regulating enough.

You sound like a Republican... can't tell the difference between his head and his ass.

Re:I won't believe it.... (Score:3, Funny)

by Zeinfeld ( 263942 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @04:36PM (#15662744) Homepage

And even then, do not believe it. It is fairly easy to substitue another body with a little bit of makeup.
Nah, wrong conspiracy theory, the real question is whether it was Cheney or Rove who ordered the hit to keep the truth from comming out.
Question is whether the lawyers got the appeal in first. In MA a convicted criminal who has a pending appeal automatically gets a pardon. That would mean that the Lay family may get to keep some of the money he stole. Although his estate is still liable for damages Texas bankruptcy law protects certain assets like the family home, no matter how many millions it is worth. The criminal fines would have wiped those out as well.

Re:Another perspective on Ken Lay... (Score:5, Funny)

by geekoid ( 135745 ) writes: <dadinportland&yahoo,com> on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @04:50PM (#15662851) Homepage Journal

he Ken Lay memorial urinal has a nice ring to it.

update (Score:5, Funny)

by RelliK ( 4466 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @05:16PM (#15663016)

He was pronounced dead at a hospital.
After moving to a better hospital, his condition was upgraded to "alive".

Re:"He Didn't Fall..." (Score:3, Funny)

by Jhon ( 241832 ) * writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @06:24PM (#15663414) Homepage Journal

No surgery necessary. He killed Tim Conway and is taking his place.

Re:In related news... (Score:2, Funny)

by sgt_doom ( 655561 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @08:16PM (#15663887)

I wish people wouldn't feel sorry for the guy - he died in the typical manner the superwealthy die today --- living the good life in Aspen, in bed with two high-priced hookers and a ton of Viagra....

[The State Dept. should send Rush Limpbaugh to Pyongyang, North Korea, with a shipment of Viagra to help the Premier get his missile to rise....or am I thinking of Bill O'Reilly????]

Re:I just heard some sad news (Score:5, Funny)

by Minwee ( 522556 ) writes: <dcr@neverwhen.org> on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @09:03PM (#15664093) Homepage

"Truly an American icon."
I think there's an extra 'I' somewhere in that statement.

Re:I won't believe it.... (Score:3, Funny)

by wtansill ( 576643 ) writes: on Wednesday July 05, 2006 @09:25PM (#15664177)

until I see a body. Just a little too convenient. /where the hell's my tinfoil hat?

He's not dead. He was sedated with a CIA blow-dart, then surreptitiously removed from the hospital. His body was replaced by a clone grown in a secret underground bunker adjoining area 51. He will be revived as soon as he gets to the secret room in the sub-sub-basement of the White House where he, along with Howard Hughes will advise Vice President Dick "Dick" Cheney on energy policy. Elvis is there too; he's the entertainment director and is also in charge of procuring hookers to keep JFK happy.

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KARMA (Score:1, Funny)

Re:bye bye baby (Score:1, Funny)

they're right! (Score:5, Funny)

In related news... (Score:5, Funny)

I just heard some sad news (Score:5, Funny)

Looks like instead of prison time.... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Another perspective on Ken Lay... (Score:5, Funny)

Playing the trump card (Score:5, Funny)

Re:How Convenient... (Score:5, Funny)

hummm...doubtful (Score:3, Funny)

Is there *ANY* event... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Another perspective on Ken Lay... (Score:5, Funny)

Slashdot perspective (Score:3, Funny)

Farewell Ken (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Another perspective on Ken Lay... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:I just heard some sad news (Score:4, Funny)

Oh my God - (Score:2, Funny)

Re:As a republican, I'd like to say... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Life Insurance (Score:3, Funny)

In Soviet Enron... (Score:1, Funny)

Re:"He Didn't Fall..." (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Doubt it's faked... (Score:2, Funny)

Comment removed (Score:2, Funny)

Re:As a republican, I'd like to say... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:"He Didn't Fall..." (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Another perspective on Ken Lay... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Doubt it's faked... (Score:3, Funny)

Simple explanation (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Another perspective on Ken Lay... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Do you remember brownouts? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:I won't believe it.... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Another perspective on Ken Lay... (Score:5, Funny)

update (Score:5, Funny)

Re:"He Didn't Fall..." (Score:3, Funny)

Re:In related news... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:I just heard some sad news (Score:5, Funny)

Re:I won't believe it.... (Score:3, Funny)

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Is there ANY event... (Score:5, Funny)