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It's funny.  Laugh.

Where Are They Now: Q*Bert 210

An anonymous reader writes "Two guys who worked on SNL and the Conan show cover the drug-addled history of Atari's classic blobish-looking character, Q*Bert."
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Where Are They Now: Q*Bert

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  • How about QIX [google.com]???
    • OMG, I know you won't beleive me on that one, but QIX was actaully designed as part of a competition in the UK, I forget the exact details as I was just a whippersnapper at the time but I remember reading in my C&VG that Taito had chosen a winner of a compy it had been running for 'most innovative game design'.

      It wasn't long after that that I was spending my 10 p's (quarters, for our american chums) at the kids room in the pub, playing this game. Still a favorite after all these years. Way ahead of its time gameplay wise, far more akin to something like tetris than the space invader/pacman/donkey kong clones that were so prevelant in 81/82.

      Glorious Halycon days...... :)

  • to Dilbert?
  • wow.... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by necromaedian ( 322388 ) on Saturday January 25, 2003 @12:47AM (#5155449)
    the 5 seconds it took to skim that site and decide it was a total waste of time was total worth having to look at that bloody ad that popped up for /. referrers. thanks!
    • Re:wow.... (Score:2, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward
      Amen. First paragraph says "this article sucks" and the second says "completely." Bleh.
    • Re:wow.... (Score:5, Interesting)

      by Wavicle ( 181176 ) on Saturday January 25, 2003 @12:50AM (#5155465)
      Oh good... it wasn't just me!

      What the hell kind of contentless uninteresting crap is that for the front page? I expected that to be filed under "stuff that isn't particularly interesting or funny" or a similar topic.
      • I expected that to be filed under "stuff that isn't particularly interesting or funny" or a similar topic.

        the monty pyhton foot will be your clue next time then, no?

        since you and the post you replied to represent the humor-challenged amongst us, stay away from things that other people might find funny

        just because it isn't funny to you, doesn't mean you speak for all of us when you say it isn't funny

        it is already assumed that some of us might find something funny, but not EVERYONE will find it funny

        if the opposite were true, then NOTHING could be labelled and posted as funny, no?

        but more importantly, no one found it important to say "i think this is funny, so everyone has to find this funny!" because everyone generally understands that.

        what you and the other mr. humorless fail to understand is that no one thinks you are particularly witty or arch or wise by saying the opposite, that "i didn't find this funny, so no one else should find this funny!"

        which is exactly what you are saying with your posts

        buzz off, humorless twits ;-P
        • the monty pyhton foot will be your clue next time then, no?

          No.

          if the opposite were true, then NOTHING could be labelled and posted as funny, no?

          No.

          but more importantly, no one found it important to say "i think this is funny, so everyone has to find this funny!" because everyone generally understands that.

          No. That doesn't even make sense.

          buzz off, humorless twits ;-P

          Um... No.
          • if you don't get the concept that something somebody finds funny is not something everyone finds funny you are a moron

            so if you have to make sure something is funny to EVERYONE before you label it funny, then nothing you post can be called funny, which doesn't make sense, you IDIOTIC humorless twit
      • Ironically enough crap like this gets posted on the front page, while an article I submitted about the ATI CEO being in deep shit over insider trading in 2000 gets left by the wayside. Oh well, there's no rhyme or reason to /.'s news coverage.
      • Crap for Nerds. None of it really matters.

        What else is there to say?
    • Re:wow.... (Score:5, Interesting)

      by astrosmash ( 3561 ) on Saturday January 25, 2003 @01:27AM (#5155569) Journal
      the 5 seconds it took to skim that site and decide it was a total waste of time was total worth having to look at that bloody ad that popped up for /. referrers. thanks!
      And it's an Anonymous Coward post to boot, so we can't even harass the guy who submitted it.

      Oh well, here's an interesting tidbit about Q*Bert, from KLOV [klov.com]:

      ... Q*Bert and Reactor both use the SC-01 speech synthesizer, although in the case of Q*Bert, it is never used for any kind of coherent speech. All the speech is generated by making the chip play random sounds at a specific pitch.

      ... Part of this game's unique charm is the pure gibberish that comes out of the machine's speech synthesizer.

      Unfortunately, MAME (59) doesn't emulate the SC-01 speech synthesizer.
    • What popup?

      Don't you have your browser blocking popups?

      Mozilla does it, no excuses!
    • Interesting that the ad separating me from the real site is for "final destination."
    • Re:wow.... (Score:1, Flamebait)

      by fmaxwell ( 249001 )
      it was a total waste of time was total worth having to look at that bloody ad that popped up for /. referrers.

      You accept pop-ups and, by default, report referrers? What are you thinking? Go download Proxomitron. It runs on just about any flavor of Windows from 9x to XP. If you are running some operating system that you feel is superior to Windows, then good luck finding any package that performs a similar function with the grace and power of Proxomitron. It's one of those must-have packages that explains why my Linux machine is turned off most of the time.
    • Okay. We can now take the "E-True Hollywood Story" genre of humor, and flush it down the toilet. You comic writers out there, hey, understand what on earth you are making fun of! What made the "Jack-in-the-Box" documentary funny was the fact that is was a send-up of all the ego stroking that goes on in hollywood.

      Making fun of a Video game character (who few under the age of 30 can remember) and putting together an obit column is just not funny. You need to pick characters that everyone can relate to, and still relates to. Even better yet, tie it into current events. Good subject matters include: Recognizable Corporate Mascots, Fad products that everyone bought and now no one will admit to owning one, characters from public service announcements.

      And drug humor isn't all the funny anymore. It's like jokes in sitcoms about gays and casual sex. Sure the subject was shocking in the 70's, spoofed in the 80's, but by the 90's all of them were old hat.

      Now, you want a subject matter that will make your average american's skin crawl, talk about race, the stock market, or political correctness.

      I'll start. What's the difference between your 401K and a baseball card collection? Baseball cards at least came with gum at some point.

    • Re:wow.... (Score:3, Funny)

      by Cruciform ( 42896 )
      too bad we can't moderate articles too ;)
  • by Eric Smith ( 4379 ) on Saturday January 25, 2003 @12:47AM (#5155453) Homepage Journal
    Q*Bert was a Gottlieb game!

    Why do people seem to think that all arcade games came from Atari?

    • by Anonymous Coward
      The same reason so many people think everything is for Windows.

      What version of Windows does redhat run under?

      etc...
      • No doubt. "What Windows do you have? What Pentium?" "Um, it's Linux on an AMD." "Yeah, but what Windows do you have?"

        (Pardon me, I'm just a little self-conscious of my indie/opensource cred right now, since I shitcanned my homebrew k6-2 box in favour of a Compaq with a PIII. At least I'm running Gentoo now, that's gotta count for something, right? Right?)

        (hears booming voice of RMS shouting, "Go home, kid, and play with yer toys.")

        Oh yeah, ob-on-topic: Hop! Hop! #!@$?
        • "(hears booming voice of RMS shouting, "Go home, kid, and play with yer toys.")"

          At least YOU get the booming voice. All I get from the mystical ghost of RMS is the Hackers song..it never fails to give me chills every time I hear it. The hair on my neck is still standing up after I heard it coming from my closet last night.
    • Hey, all I know is that the Atari and ColecoVision version of the games were distributed by Parker Brothers.
    • At best it's all confusing, with the boom bust boom bust rollercoaster ride that video games took in the 80s... Namco buys Atari who buys Midway who buys Namco who buys Hasbro who sells Konami who makes out with Capcom on the couch while Sega watches... etc etc etc

      It's easier just to say Atari did everything until the 90s, then Nintendo did everything till the late 90s when Sony started doing everything.
    • The PlayStation retread of a few years ago was through Atari, but Q*Bert himself is actually still owned by Columbia Pictures (who owned Gottlieb when Q*Bert was created, and also assumed all the Gottlieb/Mylstar video game rights after the big crash of the mid-1980s).

      -lee
    • Atari, did that come with Apple or the Commodore 64?
    • Atari bought the home distribution rights from Parker Brothers in the late eighties. When Atari itself self-destructed, those rights went to whomever had the Atari rights. Hasbro was the firt to re-release a game based on Q*Bert in the late nineties. When Hasbro's video game division was sold to Imfogrames, Infogrames decided to release it using the Atari logo once again.


      So, that's how a game from Gottleib becomes an Atari game. :)

  • ...is whether Q*bert is more closely related to Dilbert or CueCat. You can't tell from the 10-pixel bitmap.
  • I always liked Burger Time or Dig-Dug.

    Thanks M.A.M.E!!!

    • Re:Good Old Games (Score:1, Insightful)

      by stratjakt ( 596332 )
      You do know that there's a ton of rereleases of classic titles, Konami's Greatest Hits, Namco Museum, Activision Anthology, Midways Arcade Classics.

      I know both BurgerTime and Dig Dug are available.

      MAME really is no different from warez for what most people use it for.
  • Poor Q*Bert (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Gortbusters.org ( 637314 ) on Saturday January 25, 2003 @12:49AM (#5155462) Homepage Journal
    "On October 5, 1990, Q*Bert was found face down in an aquarium filled with kerosene."

    Q*Bert was always fun... but did he really have a chance once Mario, Samus, and other big characters hit the scene?
  • by Anonymous Coward
    Was this article supposed to be funny? Seems more like it was written by junior high school students.

    This may sound somewhat unorthodox, but I prefer humour that makes me laugh, or at least smile.
    • I had the same reaction.

      I wonder why slashdot posts these god-awful second rate attempts at parody.

      If I were the conspiracy type I'd figure it was just to generate some ad revenue for their site.
    • Was this article supposed to be funny? Seems more like it was written by junior high school students.
      Yeah, turning Q*Bert into a drug addict... the quick n' dirty way to get cheap laughs with little effort. To make that even funnier, they could have added:

      1) Old ladies that say fuck off, and show their wrinkled middle fingers;

      2) Someone getting kicked in the balls;

      3) Someone getting still-framed and rotated matrix-like while kicking somebody in the balls.

      That, my friends, would have been hilarious.
    • Hey now.... it wasn't THAT many years ago that *I* was a junior high school student. And I could've done MUCH better. No, this was written by someone truly lacking in humour. Most likely a frenchman.
  • by Anonymous Coward
    hey need to know info request, those q-bert programers were on What?

    I need some of that.

    A drug that can twist you to write such a program sounds hmm, well kinda sweet, 8).
  • by Anonymous Coward on Saturday January 25, 2003 @12:54AM (#5155476)

    Now we know why SNL sucks so bad.

  • by JeanBaptiste ( 537955 ) on Saturday January 25, 2003 @12:54AM (#5155478)
    involve alcohol, weed, and q-bert... throw in river raid and hunt the wumpus....
  • Wait a second.
  • Q*bert....... (Score:2, Insightful)

    by jigg_e1 ( 644577 )
    Forget Q*bert, whatever happened to dig dug??
  • !LOL (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Pilferer ( 311795 ) on Saturday January 25, 2003 @01:00AM (#5155497)
    "Two guys who worked on SNL and the Conan show ..." .. as what, janitors? I'm sorry, but this just wasn't funny. Not even a little. If it really took two people to write this, then it's a sad, sad day for geek humor.

    Now THIS [jerkcity.com] is funny. Well, sort of. More worthy of front page then this trash, though!
    • Re:!LOL (Score:3, Informative)

      by antibryce ( 124264 )
      "Two guys who worked on SNL and the Conan show ..." .. as what, janitors? I'm sorry, but this just wasn't funny.


      Have you seen Conan or SNL? Being "not funny" seems to be a trademark of their writers.

      Great to see a link to jerkcity on slashdot. www.leisuretown.com [leisuretown.com] is another good one, written by the same guy.

      • Welcome to my friends list.

        Ah yes, Leisure Town... and don't forget these other, classic geek funnies:

        ascii art farts [asciiartfarts.com]

        Space moose [spacemoose.com]

        Hmmmm, what else am I missing? That's not many. I wish there were more geeks that liked "this kind" of humor...
    • This jerkcity guy. I dunno. Looks like a blatant rip to me. http://jimwoodring.com
  • Sold in Frys (Score:3, Informative)

    by krokodil ( 110356 ) on Saturday January 25, 2003 @01:00AM (#5155498) Homepage
    Just seen this game sold in local computer store
    here (Frys electronics) for Macintosh.
  • SNL nowadays is barely funny on TV, and in text isnt worth the reading the two pages this one took. What happened to /. editing?

    --enter the sig--
  • by Anonymous Coward
    ...or JIC you don't want to deal with the GD awful advertisments!!! - full text.

    His adventures enthralled thousands. The punctation of his name baffled millions. Whether or not you were able to pronunce the word asterik you knew Q*Bert. Even those who did not participate in his adventures, they were aware of his sometimes fruitless attempts to outwit the dasterdly Coily the snake.

    But where is he now?

    A direct descendant of the Roman Emperor CueBertiMus MaxiMus, Q*Bert was raised with the knowledge that he was destined for greatness. This fact was never lost on his parents, who were always slightly disappointed that their "Little Bertie" never really applied himself towards his schoolwork, always seeming more content to be alone in his bedroom. Whether he would ascend the stairs with paint thinner, airplane glue, or turpentine, his parents secretly hoped that he would one day share with them whatever wood-working project he was surely building in there. In an interview in 1986 with Scratch and Sniff magazine, Q*Bert revealed that this was actually the beginnings of a life-long addiction to inhalants.

    The altered state of mind that he often found himself gave him what his teachers generously referred to as "an over-active imagination", which by today's standards would be classified as "borderline schizophrenic." However, Q*Bert was perfectly content in his notions of government conspiracies against revealing the truth. Q*Bert was convinced that the world we live in is actually comprised of miniature cubes, and he would go at great lengths on this subject, spouting of phrases and word combinations that no one could really understand. Many would simply try and listen closely, or even recording what he said and playing it backwards, but, the fact of the matter was simple: Q*Bert was never really saying much of anything. Once this became apparent, he went largely unnoticed.

    Word of this unique character reached Michael Ovitz who was then employed by the Atari Corporation as a scout for stars for their video game adventures. Q*Bert's strange features and oddly pixelated quality made him perfect. Ovitz felt that he had the next Frogger on his hands. He immediately approached Q*Bert and brought him to the offices to meet with the video game makers. The research and development team at Atari spent a great deal of time studying what made Q*Bert tick, and what type of game would suit him. Their first attempt, Q*Bert's Filthy Swear-o-Rama, never really got off the ground. Game programmers took a closer look scrawlings about how the universe was actually comprised of cubes, and how mastery of those cubes would lead to ultimate power. Or at least that's what he attempted to express, despite it actually coming out sounding more like "Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah."

    His ailing health made it impossible to tour in promotion of Q*Bert's Qubes, ensuring that it could never succeed.

    It helped that he had countless drawings on the topic, which he was able to turn over to the designers. The notion of a game largely comprised of cubes excited all involved, because it was the one thing that could actually be made to look realistic at that time. Now, the only problem was to find a formidible adversary for Q*Bert. The ideal foe was already signed to an iron-clad ten-year contract: a purple snake named Coily, whose previous game Coily's Slither Disco '81 failed to catch on due to lack of interest in playing a game where a snake does the hustle.

    By early 1983, the game was ready to go. Q*Bert would hop around trying to change the colors of the cubes, all the while attempting to evade Coily's dasterdly intentions. The flying disks were a last minute addition to add slightly more risk to the game, and because Q*bert seemed to like the way that flying through the air made him light-headed.

    The game test-marketed so well that it was decided to market the game as a first-run arcade video game. This was great news for Q*Bert and Coily, who would each share three cents of every quarter that was put into the game which put Q*Bert on the fast-track to superstardom.

    He was on top of the world. Happy for the first time in his life, he purchased an estate with a reinforced swimming pool which would satisfy his increasingly insatiable cocaine addiction. Unfortunately, with Q*Bert's recreation of choice, it was only a matter of time before tragedy would come knocking.

    Riding high on both the success of the video game, and the coconut sized chunks of cocaine he inhaled, Q*Bert was totally unaware of a worsening health condition. Despite the fact that the septum of his nose had once been the size of a small child's arm, he was oblivious to its virtual disintegration, and his diagnosis with Paranasal Sinus Cancer caught him completely unaware.

    Refusing to accept his condition, he returned to work. However, his constant hopping resulted in a thin layer of blood left on the entire game cube. With increasing awareness of the AIDS virus, Coily swore to never work with Q*Bert again.

    At the height of his fame, you could have Q*Bert in your very own house. Although he preferred to be kept right next the cleaning supplies.

    Within days, Q*Bert was unable to perform, which could not have come at a worse time for him. A sequel to his eponymous adventure was the all-new Q*Bert's Qubes. A major media push had been planned, with Q*Bert doing a multi-city tour. But, not only was his health too poor to do the tour, but Atari executives felt that Q*Bert's fans would not be able to handle seeing his bulging eyes and cancerous growth on the side of his nose.

    With Q*Bert unattached to the project, Q*Bert's Qubes met with minor success. He cast aside his recreational lifestyle and set out to beat his cancer. Sadly, a year of intense chemotherapy was not enough. His only chance for survival was to have his nose removed. Although it meant the end to his livelihood, and all he had worked for, Q*Bert was glad to be given a second chance at life. He had the procedure done, and spent several months recovering. The remainder of his fortune went to reconstructive surgery, so that he could function again.

    Finally healthy, Q*Bert began to try and get his career on track. But, the public simply didn't recognize him, and the video game market had changed so drastically that there simply was no longer a home for him in the industry. A short-term job as a sunglass-clad rock n' roll orange for Sunkist paid the bills, but it wasn't enough for him. He'd always known he was destined for better things, and he knew if he worked hard enough, they would happen for him all over again.

    Only they never did. Years went by, and despite guest appearances on Empty Nest and A Different World the public never really accepted the nose-less Q*Bert. Worse than that, Q*Bert could no longer accept himself. His ensuing depression illustrated how old habits die hard. With his nose removed, his ability to inhale toxic fumes had diminished, and he had to seek out larger and larger quantities of them.

    It was just such a pursuit that put a tragic end to Q*Bert's struggles. On October 5, 1990, Q*Bert was found face down in an aquarium filled with kerosene. Friends within the video game community were devastated, and banded together to make sure that nothing like that would ever happen again. The Q*Bert Memorial Fund was set up in 1992, establishing for the first time health insurance for video game characters. Then to honor his memory, in 2000 a newly generated Q*Bert-like character took his place in an all-new adventure for Sega Dreamcast, proving that he might be gone, but never, ever forgotten.
    • by Anonymous Coward
      This piece of shit should never be reproduced anyway. How obscenely unfunny.
  • PC clones? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by abischof ( 255 ) <alex@spamcop . n et> on Saturday January 25, 2003 @01:12AM (#5155533) Homepage

    I rather liked Q*Bert, and I've been trying to find a freeware clone for the PC (win32, in this case), but I just haven't found any (and, no PC Bert [jrok.com] isn't really applicable since it's just DOS game). Any suggestions?

    Along those same lines, I'm also a big fan of arkanoid. Any recommendations on PC clones there? I've already discovered the excellent DX-Ball 2 [longbowdigitalarts.com] but I've beaten all the included levels (and extra levels aren't free).

    • Re:PC clones? (Score:2, Interesting)

      by stratjakt ( 596332 )

      Try here [techtv.com]

      I havent played it. But I took the 5 seconds out of my life to type 'Q*Bert clone' into google.

      A bill for my services will be forwarded to your permanent address.
      • Hell, you didn't even try to download it:

        Not Found
        The requested URL /moonrock/qbob3213.exe was not found on this server.

        Apache/1.3.27 Server at www.moonrock.com Port 80
    • Give MAME a try and play the real thing. You should be able to find the MAME program anywhere, but the ROM files are a little more difficult. Depending on your citizenship, you may or may not be allowed to legally download [planetemu.net] the qbert ROM. Place qbert.zip in the roms directory, fire up MAME, and enjoy a piece of history.

      (Standard disclaimer: You may be in violation of several copyright laws if you don't actually own the physical ROM. Just because you can download it does not mean you should - depending on the litigious nature of what country you call home)
  • by bscott ( 460706 ) on Saturday January 25, 2003 @01:33AM (#5155582)
    "Two guys who worked on SNL and Conan" - possible translation - two guys who fielded phonecalls for SNL and fetched coffee on Conan... I know people who've WRITTEN for both shows, and there's a huge number of hangers-on who work there just for the resume credit.

    "InsideJoke.TV" is, in my experience, one of a number of groups who spam the standup comedy newsgroup (and others) with pointless drivel a few times a week. I dunno how they got on Slashdot... I don't know from Slushfactory.com, perhaps they have some decent stuff elsewhere on the site, but like several previous posters, I don't have the time to go look for it.

    If you have to TELL people how funny you are, you aren't.
  • Now I can sleep at night now that the mystery of Q*Bert has been cleared up.
  • Where are THEY now? Find out...

    E! True Hollywood Story: Thundercats [mavrinac.com]

  • by TheRIAAMustDie ( 628852 ) on Saturday January 25, 2003 @02:09AM (#5155663)
    I loved the game, and still play it, Qix, and Bert (a mac 68xxx version of qbert) in both its original forms, and with the 2001 Q*Bert game for Macintosh.

    Licensed to Konami for Japanese manufacture and distribution. (02/1983)

    Inspired by artwork by M.C. Escher who was an artist that Jeff admired. Ron Waxman came up with the idea of Q*Bert changing the color of the cubes. Q*Bert's name originated by the combination of cube and Hubert, but the "Cube-Bert" was changed to "Q-Bert" to make it more unique. The concept game was called "Snots and Boogers" and then "@!#?@!" (which many of the programmers and Gottlieb VPs said would be impossible to get anyone to say) before the final version was called just "Q*Bert". Slick and Sam were a play on the phrase "spick and span" with Sam being named after co-worker Sam Russo. Rick Tighe came up with the idea of adding the pinball hardware which generated the very mechanical KA-CHUNK when Q*Bert falls off the pyramid.

    Approximately 30, 000 units were produced.

    Grab the rom (valid for mame from .36final to .63 ) here [flashback77.net]

    PLAY INSTRUCTIONS:

    - Jump on squares to change them to the target color.

    - Stay on playfield! Jumping off results in a fatal plumment unless a disk is there.

    - Avoid all objects and creatures that are not green.

    - Use spinning disks to lure snake to his death.

    - Extra life at 8000 and each additional 14000.

    Twenty years ago, gamers were captivated by a foul-mouthed orange mutant named Q*bert. In the two decades following his epic battle with the relentless Coiley, Q*bert's life evolved into a happy, normal existence. Q*bert had a girl, Q*dina (you can tell she's a girl because she's got a bow ), a powerless, frustrated enemy named Q*dirk, and a big cube land to hop around in and show off the enigmatic protrusion that must be the source of his power and charm (yeah, just go on thinking it's a nose).

    Recently, with the help of Hasbro Interactive, an insidious corporation called Sega stole Q*bert's female and placed arch-nemesis Coiley in his path, hoping the ensuing confrontation would be enough to revive their doomed platform.

    When asked to comment on the situation, Q*bert said, "&%$#@."
  • Yep. (Score:3, Funny)

    by blair1q ( 305137 ) on Saturday January 25, 2003 @02:28AM (#5155704) Journal

    Unfunny.

    Those guys really were writers for SNL and Conan O'Brien.

  • by dokutake ( 587467 ) <<peter> <at> <epiccentre.com>> on Saturday January 25, 2003 @02:40AM (#5155716)
    This is neither "news for nerds" nor "stuff that matters."
  • by Anonymous Coward
    For what it's worth, Q*bert is available on cell phones [sonypictures.com] with certain service providers (SprintPCS and ATT Wireless). SprintPCS is promoting it on the first page you see when you log on to the web on your phone. This is all thanks to our good friends at Sony Pictures Mobile [sonypictures.com] (did I miss the Q*bert motion picture?). Of course they're charging $5 to use the game for only 60 days, so best not to be too thankful. Despite the steep rates, I do like the fact that my favorite games of yore are being reborn in the wireless world. How long 'till I can play dig-dug on the subway?
  • by Anonymous Coward
    ...but, WHAT THE HELL? [jesusgeeks.net]
  • From the first paragraph of the article:

    His adventures enthralled thousands. The punctation of his name baffled millions. Whether or not you were able to pronunce the word asterik you knew Q*Bert.

    Yeah, it's a tricky one to pronounce, let alone spell. Something tells me they fifn't invest too much effort in this site...
  • yup (Score:4, Funny)

    by pizza_milkshake ( 580452 ) on Saturday January 25, 2003 @04:31AM (#5155945)
    i can back up the claim that the writers of that story worked on SNL... the article was unfunny and it went on too long.
  • Wow (Score:2, Funny)

    by xihr ( 556141 )
    That's got to be one of the most embarrassing products of wannabe fanfic (like that isn't in and of itself a capital crime) I've seen in a long time. Take special note of the misspelling of the word asterisk in the first paragraph: a premonition of the value of this piece. I'm amazed it was even deemed worthy for inclusion.
  • and he uses a Mac [apple.com]. :P
  • Here's a story of a Q*bert clone for gameboy color
    written for joy only that got published all by itself

    http://www.1000klub.com/Qbert/
  • Or, that's what it would be called if it had actually been news. So I guess it's a slow humor day.

    What was the competition? "America's Funniest Surgical Malpractice Bloopers"? Sorry, guys -- no, on second thought, Slashdot editors, YOU should be sorry. "It's Funny. Laugh" indeed -- it's a hugely overworn idea which is NOT rescued by anything new in the execution. This is the sort of article the Onion churns out in its sleep, and when the Onion churns it out, it sucks, and when they churn it out and it sucks it's STILL better than this.

    Oh, and the references to AIDS just sorta capped things. Was there some connection I'm missing why it's especially ironic for Q*bert to contract AIDS or to leave blood everywhere he hops or for Coily to refuse to work with him because of it? Or is AIDS just considered automatically funny?
  • by afflatus_com ( 121694 ) on Saturday January 25, 2003 @12:29PM (#5157325) Homepage
    ...is on the Onion A.V. Club interviews. They interviewed Jeff Lee, a Q*Bert creator, a while back, to see what he was up to.

    Here is the article: http://www.theonionavclub.com/avclub3513/avfeature 3513b.html [theonionavclub.com]

    Here is a sample excerpt:

    O: There was a TV show once, a cartoon.

    JL: Right, in Q*Bert's heyday. I would love to see tapes of that. I remember they gave Q*Bert arms so he could have these adventures. He needed arms for some reason.

    O: Why didn't you originally give him arms?

    JL: For the game, you didn't need 'em! We just needed something that jumped around, and the arms were superfluous.
  • "On October 5, 1990, Q*Bert was found face down in an aquarium filled with kerosene"

    Sounds to me like the work of the Mario Bros.
  • Q Bert was so much like having an LSD trip I didn't need to have one myself.
    Complete with the seeing snakes.
    I mean a video game that swares... I was sure someone spiked my coffee. After the disorenting experence of the odd movements and enemys with a totally diffrent center of gravity I couldn't walk.
    I could sware all those kids jumping around the arcade were Q Berts when I finally turned away from the game.

    Good thing Pacman didn't have that kind of effect on me or I'd be totally overweight.

Egotist: A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me. -- Ambrose Bierce

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