Merry Christmas 408
I'm off to visit the fam... I hope you all have the ability to spend the holidays
with the ones who mean the most to you: even if those are friends
like Solid Snake or Rikku, or actual family. Merry Christmas to you all,
if you made a good haul this year from the fatman, feel free to share.
huh? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:huh? (Score:1)
Game Cube AND X Box! (Score:1)
1P?
Merry Christmas to all (Score:3, Redundant)
- and wishes of peace, harmony and tolerance towards all that do not.
Have a nice year!
Re:Merry Christmas to all (Score:5, Interesting)
1. A photon light [photonlight.com] for my mom. It was a turquoise photon II.
2. A Sarah Brightman CD for my dad as well as a micro-tapemeasure so he won't have to lug one of his big ones around anymore when he wants to measure something at a store. I can hear the CD playing right now.
3. A set of nice gel pens for my sister as well as this really fancy popcorn she'd been eyeing. She was more pleased with the popcorn, haha.
4. Need For Speed: Porsche Unleashed for my brother. He was more thrilled by the new drum set our parents got him ;-)
Tis the season... (Score:1)
Over in the UK we did the present unwrapping hours ago... waiting for some christmas lunch now.... I can smell it so it must be almost ready! YAY!
HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!!
--dan
Re:Tis the season... (Score:2, Informative)
FYI (Score:2, Informative)
31st December is New Year's eve, which in fact is the time when people in Russia give each other presents.
X-mas is more of a religious thing there, like easter...
blar (Score:1, Informative)
Merry christmas everyone, may you all be sleeping in warm beds tonight.
It's the thought that counts (Score:1)
It's been weird (Score:3, Informative)
Hmmm... now *that's* something I can't blame on Microsoft.
Re:It's been weird (Score:1)
Re:It's been weird (Score:2)
;-)
Weird in Toronto too (Score:3, Interesting)
We haven't had ANY snow this year, although everything to the north, south, east and west has gotten some. Maybe a few snowflakes a few days ago, but nothing that stayed on the ground for longer than a couple of hours. I don't even know if the snowthrower works yet (haven't started it up at all). Shovel hasn't left the wall yet. It's like we live in a bubble around here. Sorta throws the Canadian weather stereotypes in the trash, I suppose.
Merry Christmas to all!
Re:It's been weird (Score:2)
Here in the Seattle area its doing roughly 40F and its bright and sunny. Which is pretty weird for christmas, especially since it's been raining almost non-stop for weeks now.
Yeah, I'd much rather have a white christmas *sigh* but this sure beats cold rain...
Merry Chistmas
loot! w00t! (Score:2, Informative)
New PC next week!
I hope you all got something as great as i did...
merry xmas
What I *didn't* get for Christmas (Score:5, Funny)
A working phone line (beware moving the week before christmas)
Internet Connectivity (ditto)
Laid
Over this stupid flu
Letter from Credit Card Companies saying "Hey, that's okay.. don't worry about that $15k you owe us, we'll call it even."
On the other hand, if I can get my ass up in 3 hours, my mom has invited me over for free food! Fuck socks, money, and cheap Walmart bullshit, I want turkey! To hell with Chef Boyardee for a day! woohoo!
Merry xmas to everyone!
And a Merry Christmas... (Score:1)
...to all the Slashdot staff and readership too!
Down here in the Netherlands we've done the gifts already on the 5th, but for those that do at Christmas, I wish you get your hearts' desires.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year all!
MartMerry Christmas (Score:2, Funny)
AND I got a turkey as a tip last night at work, along with $40 bucks. W00T!
Now if only I didn't have to work tonight...
Merry Christmas folks, hope it's a great holiday for everyone.
Re:Merry Christmas (Score:5, Funny)
"yeah, that'll be $12 for the pizza and breadsticks."
"Okay, here you go.. oh, and here's a tip for ya -" and he hands him a giant 20 lb. turkey
Re:Merry Christmas (Score:2, Interesting)
About a half an hour later, he comes in and asks if I want a turkey. Someone gave him one, and he's already got like three in his freezer, so he wants to offload it on me. I figure what the hell... dunno what I'll do with it, but I'm sure I can figure something out. Even if it's just turning it over to the local St. Vincent DePaul Society, so they can give it to someone who *really* needs it.
True story though, and definitely one of the strangest things that's ever happened to me. Something to tell the grandkids about someday, I guess...
Xmas Loot (Score:1)
And I got "Spooky: The Thing what Squeeks" (from I Feel Sick by Jhonen Vasquez), and a couple of doujins. All in all, quite a good Christmas!
loot (Score:1)
Happy holidays!
December 25th (Score:2, Funny)
12 beers: $50
Posting to
Cool Christmas (Score:3, Informative)
And DVDs of Bladerunner (Director's Cut, of course) and The Wall
Oh, and I'm hanging with my family, which is pretty damn cool (they're both geeks too!)
Re:Cool Christmas (Score:3, Informative)
merry? christmas (Score:1)
drinking for me has always seemed to take the pain away
DirectTV says Merry Christmas. (Score:2)
Cant sleep, back to some more perl coding and watching sci-fi.
I was just thinking... (Score:2, Insightful)
I'll be working for 12 hours. (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:I'll be working for 12 hours. (Score:1)
Re:I'll be working for 12 hours. (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Working conditions (Score:2)
Finally... (Score:1)
Now I can get rid of that DOS version...
Merry Christmas to all...
Who are *YOU* spending Christmas with? (Score:2)
> even if those are friends like Solid Snake or Rikku
Hmm. Does a bowl of Jell-O, a copy of *Divi Dead* [theunderdogs.org], and a DVD of *Virtual Porn Sex with Asia* [excaliburfilms.com] count? Hehe.
No, no sulking alone with masturbatory foods and computer games today.
That said, who here saw the Christmas episode of *Futurama* on Sunday, the one which the execs at Fox refused to air last year? Pretty hilarious. Pity what dicks the executives were in not showing it in the first place.
Merry Christmas!
Re:Who are *YOU* spending Christmas with? (Score:2)
So, since your homepage says
> email me with a subject for me to post about.. it can be anything from dirty socks to my stance
> on abortion to why i like sprouts so much...
I simply have to ask, why would you like sprouts? And what is your stance on aborting them? And as a Canadian and a female are you offended by http://www.kirstensrrom.com , a site I ran across when the guy who runs http://www.cupfart.com said he finds it embarrassing as a Canadian?
Just some stuff to keep those like you who are stuck listening to the hum of servers busy.
Re:Who are *YOU* spending Christmas with? (Score:2)
Anyway, it's funny that Canadian people get so offended because she's Canadian too.
Mmmm...music (Score:1)
Happy Winter Solstice! (Score:2, Flamebait)
Happy Winter Solstice!
Re:Happy Winter Solstice! (Score:2, Informative)
An interesting article on the solstice [atheists.org]. And a happy longest/shortest day of the year to all! (Yes, I know I'm late by a few days, but so is this article... *grin*)
Re:Happy Winter Solstice! (Score:2, Informative)
chesh.
Re:Happy Winter Solstice! (Score:2, Informative)
says it's from Asimov
Re:Happy Winter Solstice! (Score:2)
--Jim
Re:Happy Winter Solstice! (Score:2)
Tune into The History Channel on Tuesday, December 25 at 9pm ET/PT for the world premiere of In Search of Christmas and explore the historical truth behind the birth of Christ.
also...
http://www.historychannel.com/exhibits/holidays/c
as well as...
http://www.historychannel.com/exhibits/holidays/h
and...
http://www.historychannel.com/exhibits/holidays/k
Solstice, Christians, Pagans, and good music (Score:5, Interesting)
So back in 1998 my brother and I started to throw "solstice" parties. We looked into various holiday and solstice traditions around the world. No real attempts at sorcery, bachannals, or blood, which I suppose some might expect. We wassail an apple tree, we make radish and butter carvings, we light and extinguish and light candles and talk about what we've done the last year and what we hope to do again. We have the "Urn of Fate" assign friends for the year. We sing "here comes the sun" and "christians and pagans". I'm sure any serious pagan would laugh at us, but it's our little chance to do things a little bit differently, remember there's other cultures and traditions in the world, and perhaps find magic/life/spirit in an unexpected place or two.
I'm still a reasonably solid Christian. OK, I occasionally go for bouts of rational agnosticism, but for the most part, I've found that Christianity as a spiritual practice seems to have something to it. So still I'm a little uncomfortable singing that line from Dar's song "sending hope for peace on earth to all their Gods and Goddesses". But I like this new tradition of looking at other traditions and fashioning new ones from it, and we're going to keep it up, as well as gathering on Christmas day and reading Luke 2 [night.net] (stopping before we have to explain circumcision to the kids
Re:Happy Winter Solstice! (Score:2)
Just FYI, Christ isn't His last name. Christ in Greek and Messiah in Hebrew both mean "annointed one".
Re:Happy Winter Solstice! (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:Happy Winter Solstice! (Score:3, Interesting)
Yeah, mod me down, but there are some people in this world who will always believe celebrating the anti-pagan birth of Jesus is quite the opposite of 'fanatic' and 'superstitious'.
I'm sorry dude, but believing in an invisible, super powerful, flood creating, virgin impregnating (depending on your local flava'), fig tree slaying, water-walking friend qualifies to me as "superstitious".
By the way, do you know the difference between god and santa?
Santa claus, it's true.
(Courtesy Dominique Colucci).
Re:"First cause" fallacy (Score:2)
A "meta-god" is beyond our scope. The Operating System is the creator of all, even if it is running in VMWare.
Re:"First cause" fallacy (Score:2)
Any being able to house/create a universe probably has the ability interact with it as well, even on a high-level. If you were a master scientist creating a sim-world, surely you would not leave this out?
The "god-which-is-not-meta" is probably impossible to discern from the actual universe itself, since it would always interact with us _through_ it. If the root user needs to alter the state of an application, he interacts with the OS to do so. It would even make sense to simply say that for all intensive purposes, this "god" _is_ the universe. Living and breathing constitutes interacting with the universe, so I would conclude that this "god" is very much within our scope.
A greater question is whether or not "he" is a Miracle Worker, and would alter the rules and constants he originally decided upon. Since we have such a close tie to our universe, I simply cannot ignore the possibility.
Great Christmas :) (Score:1)
:D
Hope that you all have had a good christmas day (even if you havent woken up yet!)
How do I? (Score:1)
;-)
Merry Christmas All
Re:Great Christmas :) (Score:1)
Kids got me an 802.11b access point for the house and a dwl-650 for the laptop. Nice gift for an old geek like me (47yrs old).
loot! w00t! sorta.... (Score:3, Interesting)
"The (new) pool table and basketball goal are your presents!"
I hate to mention it to her (no, I enjoyed it), but I live in flipping Ireland and the only time I get to play with the pool table is for the next two weeks of my vacation. And the basketball goal isn't here yet! So she got really mad at me for pointing that out as annoyingly as I did (I would much prefer honesty to excuses; if it's not my gift, don't 'give' it to me as a token gift).
That said, I still got three new shirts, a pair of trousers, some candy, and $150. Go me!
Merry christmas!
Re:loot! w00t! sorta.... (Score:2)
OK
That said, I still got three new shirts, a pair of trousers, some candy, and $150. Go me!
What a selfish bastard you are, you dont think thats a lot? You are the kind of person that gives a bad name to americans!
Re:loot! w00t! sorta.... (Score:2)
Well, let's see:
That adds up to $250. No, that's not that much, for someone living in the civilised world. That's a fortnight's rent on a cheap single bedroom flat here in Denver. That's enough for two to go out to dinner three or four times.
But it's certainly appreciated--that was obvious from the poster's tone.
For xmas... (Score:3, Flamebait)
Grand Theft Auto 3 for PS2. What a game!
Re:For xmas... (Score:2)
I hate to nitpick, but it's not exactly "countless". If you press the start button and look at scrolling statistics, it'll tell you just how many people you've wasted. Admittedly, it does include the ones that you kill via other means, but it should give you a rough idea. I've already broken the 1k barrier in my game.
Re:For xmas... (Score:2)
Gifts from the fatman (Score:2)
Now, get off Slashdot and go spend time with your loved ones.
Re:If this is a newer model (Score:2)
I bought my girlfriend a flatpanel monitor... (Score:2, Interesting)
Blessings! (Score:3, Redundant)
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Ended up working christmas (Score:2)
I'm working on some code which should be very interesting in 4-6 months...bigger than HavenCo!
Re:Ended up working christmas (Score:2)
The Physics of Santa Claus (Score:5, Funny)
In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead by now.
Re:The Physics of Santa Claus (Santa's Rebuttal ) (Score:5, Funny)
NORTH POLE, SANTA'S VILLAGE - For Immediate Release
It has come to the attention of Santa's workshop that there have been disparaging remarks made in the press recently about Santa's very existence. Several key points are overlooked by this callous, amateurish, so-called study.
As was admitted by the skeptics, there is only a very small probability of finding a flying reindeer. That is precisely because they are all located at the Workshop. Your very argument against Santa is proof of his existence! As is widely known (Re: the excellent historical documentaries "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer") the flying reindeer are not a separate species, but were in fact given the power of flight due to eating magic acorns, which is passed on in their offspring.
A series of cascading assumptions have been relied upon to show the "impossibility" of delivering all presents in one Christmas. For example, there was assumed a uniform distribution of children across homes. Toronto/Yorkville, or NYC/SOHO, or other yuppie neighborhoods, have less than the average (and don't forget the DINK/SINK homes (Double Income No Kids, Single Income No Kids)), while the Catholic (the predominant Christian denomination) families with 10 children would skew that derived 15% of homes down a few percent.
You've also assumed that each home that has kids would have at least one good kid. Let us assure you that anti-selection applies, and homes with good kids tend to have more than their share of good kids? Still other single-child homes are notorious for spoiled "naughty" children and average 55% delivery on a good year. Let's drop that number of homes down a few more percent.
A simple history lesson reminds us that, the first major schism in the Church split the Eastern Churches, centered in Byzantium, from the Western, which remained centered in Rome, prior to the Gregorian correction to the Julian calendar. The Eastern "Orthodox" Churches do not recognize the Gregorian correction for liturgical events, and their Christmas is, as a result, several days after that of the Western Churches'. Thus, Santa's schedule is not as tight as previously indicated.
Santa does indeed FedEx a number of packages ahead of time, since he is not be able to fly into Air Force Bases, or into tower- controlled areas near airports. He's certainly not into dodging SCUD missiles over the no-fly zones in Iraq, so he uses DHL there. Subtract some more homes.
In regards to speed and time, we can't reveal all the details, but let us remind you of basic relativity theory: The faster you go, the slower time progresses. Do you think StarTrek came up with the idea of warp drive? So, if Santa could go faster than light, then he can easily visit all the good children which are not uniformly distributed by either concentration in each home or by number of children per household, and get home before he left so he can digest all those stale cookies and warm milk. (Has anyone thought of ice cubes?)
Aha, you say, Enterprise has matter-antimatter warp engines, Santa only has reindeer, where does he get the power to move that fast? The answer is right before your skeptical eyes! The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy. Per second. Each. This is an ample supply of energy for the maneuvering, acceleration, etc., that would be required of the loaded sleigh. The reindeer don't evaporate or incinerate or get crushed because of this energy; they accelerate! What do you think they have antlers for, fighting over females? Think of antlers as furry shield generator arrays.
The issue of weight constraints and delivery methods also shows a shocking lack of knowledge of basic matter/energy relations and beginning quantum physics. (Picture a two dimensional complex function mapped to the surface of a sphere with approximately 9000 nodal surfaces, and 18 million regions of relatively high amplitude.) Assuming this is getting way ahead of most people's conceptual limits, we'll just say that Captain Kirk wasn't the first to say "beam me down." Transporters, replicators, and holo-projections have been standard equipment in some workshops and certain aerospace vehicle way before the 24th century.
If that's not enough, watch the news on the 24th at 11 o'clock. NORAD (one of the few government agencies with more than 3 initials in it's name and therefore more trustworthy than the rest) tracks Santa every year and displays radar shots of him approaching from the North Pole. They haven't bombarded him yet, so they must believe too, right?
We certainly hope this clears up any damage caused by the bad press. Santa dead, indeed--some people will twist any statistic model to "prove" their cynical theory.
religion don't enter into it. (Score:2)
However, Santas criteria is "Naughty" and "Nice", religion(for santa) doesn't enter into it.
know that I can quickly make up some numbers that show Santa needs to visit 100% of home with children, where at least one child is good.
If what I know about children is any indicator, then I can say Santa visits, at most, 1 child.
Re:religion don't enter into it. (Score:2)
Not quite. There are some good reasons to believe that Christ was indeed born on the 25th. I don't recall any at the moment (that not being my field of study), save this one. December is the time of year when the lambs for Passover (Hebrew Pesach, Greek Pascha) were born. These same lambs would then be sacrificed some months later. Christ being the ultimate Paschal Lamb, it makes sense that he be born at the same time.
Re:The Physics of Santa Claus (Score:2)
Why don't you take your massively parallel brain and sit and try to think of some other possibilities besides visiting all these homes serially?
-Erik
I got jack shit. (Score:2, Informative)
Re:I got jack shit. (Score:2)
My wishlist (Score:2)
Re:My wishlist (Score:2)
Last-minute Christmas gift (Score:2)
So, my last-minute gift to him is a copy of the new OpenBSD 3.0 [openbsd.org].
I inscribed it:
Time since last remote root exploit:
OpenBSD: 4.5 years
Microsoft Windows: 4.5 days [slashdot.org].
Merry Christmas! My condolences for you guys that have to work.
Class Ring (Score:2)
The women of the family were extactic that I finally asked for something non-electronic/non-utilitarian! Anyway, it was put on order earlier in Dec and is not here yet. Johston's looks like they can use some help on taking orders too, but I got the customer copy of the order to hold until the ring arrives.
On the other hand, I got my son a copy of "The Federalist Papers" (along with other things), reversing his technique of giving me CDs that HE wants to hear
Merry Christmas and all of the other hollidays too!!!
Working on Christmas? (Score:2)
Not that I'm not grateful, I'm at work bored out of my mind... slashdot is great entertainment at [-1|nested]
Merry Christmas!!!
To all those stationed overseas... (Score:4, Insightful)
To all my fellow Marines, Airmen, Soldiers and Sailors who also spent christmas with thier loved ones via phone or internet:
Semper Fidelis, Merry Christmas, and thanks for helping keep the world a safer place!
My christmas haul.... (Score:5, Insightful)
My mother got into a car accident in march of this year and has been in therapy for chronic back damage , my step dad damaged the disks in his lower back. As such, both have been a little tight for money recently. So my gifts to them this year were:
(1) Fixing their car for them
(2) Lending them money for 3 months.
(3) A little P2-266 for step sister who has never owned a computer before. She almost hyper ventilated when she got it. Sometimes the joy is in seeing something I take for granted, like technology, even old technology, greatly appreciated by someone who is not surrounded by it 24/7.
(4) One of those green bankers lamps for my girlfriend, every time we watch Law and Order she comments on how cool those lamps look
No I didn't get much, I don't want much, if I need something in the world of tech, I buy it for myself. The gifts that mean most to me are the ones where the person gives you a unique gift based upon something you love.
Example, my girlfriend gave me National Geographics 100 Best Pictures of All Time and Gladiator on DVD. Not high in monetary value, but very high meaning for me.
My girlfriend was listening to me all year, and picked on up on stupid little comments I had made months ago! The listening is a gift I appreciate...it's just one of those things that keeps on giving all year long.
Re:My christmas haul.... (Score:2)
Come on now, you mean she couldn't find you any more sophisticated pr0n?
Makita 14.4v cordless Drill (Score:2)
Guess what I got for Christmas?! (Score:2)
Oh well... :(
Re:Guess what I got for Christmas?! (Score:2)
I had to of course take a poke at the ex-boss at that point and said, "...and right before Christmas, too. That must make you very proud."
They timed it so I couldn't even go to the company Christmas party that weekend.
Bastards...
Re:Guess what I got for Christmas?! (Score:2)
But I tip my hat to you. I've never been married, but I doubt I'd ever care for a job that much... ;)
Sorry to hear that, man. :(
IPAQ (Score:2)
Best Wishes for the Holidays (Score:2, Funny)
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all; and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2002, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures, and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishes.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Wooohooo! (Score:2)
nifty gadgettery and score helper (Score:2)
- i sent my mom DHEA and a bunch of other bone-decay-and-other-menopause-symptoms-fighting dietary supplements which the french customs seized and are sending back to me. Next time i'll write "christmas candies" on the box. duh.
Dad gave me an iPod. sweet little toy. I had been wanting to buy one for myself, but was still on the fence. He read my mind.
Mom gave me a leather jacket! She pittied me when i showed up in Paris for the holiday in that dinky little jacket i wear in l.a. . Wait 'till my girl sees it when i get back huhuhuhu.
I got flight school certificates! (Score:2)
My wife gave me the best christmas ever, hopefully next year i'll be flying us to visit family
Hope everyone has a wonderful christmas!
Oh yea, and i got an xbox haha
now back to halo
I got a nice surprise...and one not-so nice (Score:2)
Good news and bad news... (Score:2)
1) An iBook.
2) A kidney stone.
*sigh*
Re:Who be da fatman? (Score:2, Informative)
Re:Who be da fatman? (Score:2)
Re:Who be da fatman? (Score:1)
Alexander Dumas?
Re:work (Score:1)
Re:work (Score:3)
No, I'm not talking about consumerism.
You dno't have to be celebrating any particular religious events, but it is a good time to get together with friends and family, and celebrate what _is_ important to you. Maybe you can call people you haven't talked to in a while, or apologize to someone you have been neglecting. Maybe you just want to feel good about something so you can make a donation, or think of a gift for something who needs it.
There's a lot to feel good about and celebrate besides a faith you may or may not partake in.
Re:work (Score:1)
Marduk
Re:Xmas Gifts (Score:1)
1xDVD: Cranberries, Beneath the Skin, live in Paris (nice cover: iceberg with a mainboard under the ice
1xDVD: U2, Rattle and Hum
3x audio CD's
1x William Grant's Whisky from my boss,
and most of all I'm spending Christmas with my
folks, as every year, with the most delicious
traditional food.
Yeah, no junk food for a couple of days...
Re:Let's celebrate xmas (Score:2, Troll)
Really? What about all those atheists who were involved in either World War who "believed in freedom enough to die for it"? Or is it only people with a religious alignment (i.e. those who are courageous enough to make any decision) who are stupid for having ideals?
Get over it, man. An intelligent argument needs not this kind of banter.
Re:Merry Christmas (Score:3, Funny)
I wrote a Hanukka fun guide for a column for jambands.com. It's located at http://www.jambands.com/dec00/columnists/zzyzx.htm l [jambands.com] [jambands.com... but you probably knew that]. I'm pasting it here, but the lameness filter didn't like my ASCII art. Go to the orginal if you want to see that.
The Hanukkah Fun Pack
What is Hanukkah?
Hanukkah (also spelled Chanukah, Hanuka, and pretty much any other way you can arrange h's, a's, n's and k's to make that sound) commemorates a military victory over the Greek empire some 2400 years ago. After the Maccabees (aka "The Good Guys") defeated the Greeks (aka "The Bad Guys"), they went to light the everlasting light in the synagogue. Despite having only enough oil to last one day, somehow the light remained lit for the entire 8 days that it took to get some more.
Why Should I Care?
Beats me. Never a major holiday, Hanukkah only really took importance in the 19th century. Frustrated with hearing their kids whining about not getting any Christmas presents, people noticed a holiday located conveniently close to Christmas. Not only was the timing helpful but, unlike most Jewish Holidays, this one didn't even require you to dwell on your failings for 10 days, or do a sundown to sundown fast, or eat all of your meals outside, or not eat bread for 8 days. In fact, this one could even be described as fun. Rabbis poured over the Talmud, figuring that having a fun holiday must be against Jewish law somehow. They were pursuing an investigation over a digression inspired by some 15th century debate over whether killing a snake that wandered into your tent on the Sabbath counted as "work," when someone reminded them of Purim. While Hanukkah is enjoyable, it doesn't hold a candle (that's a little holiday humor there, laugh ok?) to Purim - what with the story involving oral sex and rampaging hordes of angry Jews, the encouragements to go out and get drunk, and kids given noisemakers and told to be really loud and annoying.
Wait a second! You said "fun." Is there any actual enjoyment here?
Well kind of. The celebration of Hanukkah revolves around three things - fire, grease, and gambling.
Fire: The most ritualistic aspect of the holiday involves lighting a menorah for 8 days. No menorah was included in this Fun Pack because:
(1) They tend to be expensive.
(2) If you knocked over the Menorah and burned down Concur, everyone would end up blaming me most likely.
(3) There's an annoyingly complicated special way that you have to light the candles.
Despite their absence here, Menorahs do provide many happy memories. For example, there was the time when my parents left the house, leaving me in charge of the menorah lighting. I then decided to show some basic candle tricks to my brother (including the "flaming ball of wax" trick). Ok, when they got home, I did have some questions to answer - such as, "Why is there wax all over this table?" - but any excuse to play with candles is a good thing.
Grease: Since one of the major parts of the Hanukkah story involves oil burning longer than it should, an aspect of celebration involves eating food fried in oil (traditionally potato pancakes, but I like to push this rule). How often can you say, "I'm eating these Jo-Jos for religious reasons." Eight days of Onion Rings and Mozerella Sticks. That's my idea of a holiday.
Gambling: This is the biggie. You may have noticed many tops inside this package. These are known as dreidels. Each side has a Hebrew letter on it. The letters are the first letter of each word in the phrase "A Great Miracle Happened Here." While some people question whether misestimating the amount of oil you have really qualifies as "great miracle" - it clearly doesn't match up well with - say - the birth of a savior - the phrase does sound better than "A New Measuring Device Was Needed Here."
The way the dreidel works is simple. You start out with a pot of M&Ms or Gelt or something in the middle. You spin the dreidel and see what side comes up.
If gimmel comes up, that means Get... you get the entire contents of the pot.
If hey comes up, that means Half... you get half of what is in there.
If nun comes up, that means Nothing... nothing happens.
If shin comes up, that means Shit, I have to put one back.
I thought about being a dreidel hustler who would wait until the pot got really big and then say, "No, you must have misheard me. THIS one is gimmel," when I spun. Instead though, here is a little ascii hebrew letter guide:
[Guide removed to satisfy lameness filter]
Look for the tail there for gimmel
Now you can tell this game is made for kids, because it's all about getting lots of M&M's and rarely about giving them back. The question becomes, what do you do with your dreidels when you're sick of candy. One thing is to do stupid dreidel tricks. My favorite is the spin the dreidel on its head trick, but the bounce and then spin trick is also cool... when I can get it to work.
Other games (such as high stakes dreidel gambling and strip dreidel) are to be played at your own risk. Know your limits. If you find yourself dreidelling uncontrollably, please call the Washington State Council on Problem Gambling Hotline number at 1-800-547-6133.
What if I think this whole Hanukkah thing is kind of lame?
See that koosh ball in there? Play with it.