Space Elevator vs Wildlife

An anonymous reader writes "The longest test yet of the technology that might one day lead to space elevators has revealed some unusual problems. From the article: "There were several unexpected encounters with wildlife. More than a dozen insect egg colonies had been laid on the tether and curious bats flew around the balloons, apparently attracted by the sound made by the tether's vibrations. Late in the test, swallows were also seen swooping down on the balloons, possibly to sip the morning dew on their surfaces." Maybe all the critters just want to go to space too."

Don't Lose Sight of Our Goal!

[Digital Vomit]

No, you fools! It's mother nature trying to keep us from leaving this planet! She wants to take us down with her!

"Oooh, so Mother Nature needs a favor?! Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys! Nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she's losing. Well I say, hard cheese." - C. M. Burns

Just goes to show...

[Z1NG]

The space shuttle sucks, a space elevator swallows.

swallows

[thhamm]

Late in the test, swallows were also seen swooping down on the balloons ...

african or european swallows?

Nature

[qwertphobia]

Nature may abhor a vacuum [imdb.com], but it loves a space elevator!

Re:Just goes to show...

[jimmichie]

No no, the space shuttle blows. ( -5 horribly insensitive)

Re:swallows

[Kuraikaze_Moss]

I... I... Don't know!
AIEEE!

Re:Don't Lose Sight of Our Goal!

[jimstapleton]

No, she's just trying to make a bunch of cheesy 60s/70s space horror flics

"SWALLOWS... IN SPACE!!!"

Followed by:

"BATS... IN SPACE!!!"

Summing up the series with:

"INSECT EGGS... IN SPACE!!!"

You have to end the title "IN SPACE!!!"

Bats, man.

[Rob T Firefly]

curious bats flew around the balloons, apparently attracted by the sound made by the tether's vibrations

No, it's just that bats' natural habitats are improbably long tethers that don't really lead anywhere. [wikipedia.org]

Re:Willy Wonka..

[Apocalypse111]

Yes, but the Wonkavator was powered by love. Love, dammit! As Americans, we are somewhat lacking in that particular natural resource, so the technology wouldn't work for us. However, if left as it is, the border security problems could one day allow enough Latinos into the US to solve this problem, raising our love-per-capita counts to the levels necessary to power such a device, hell, a whole fleet of such devices! Imagine, a Wonkavator in every garage, and a bunch of molten candy in every oven... the new American dream!

Don't forget the most recent cheesy movie

[Anonymous Coward]

"SNAKES . . . IN SPACE", and can the porcine Muppets be far behind?

Re:Just goes to show...

[TempeTerra]

best of all, the space elevator takes enormous loads!

Danger Signs

[Anonymous Coward]

If the dolphins start trying to jump on these things we might need to start worrying.

Wonkavator

[urbonix]

The snozberries taste like snozberries.

Re:Just goes to show...

[aussie_a]

How the devil does this get moderated informative? I mean, I suppose yes, technically, it's informative (in that I've never friended someone on slashdot). But surely it isn't deserving of a +2 Informative?

more importantly

[roman_mir]

did they have any coconuts with them?

Re:Putting it in perspective

[Gospodin]

The pollution (and therefore environmental damage) caused by using a rocket to put one ton of payload into space is about a zillion times what would be caused by using the space elevator for the same load.

Hey, thanks for putting that in perspective.

If they only knew...

[smokin_juan]

I would've guessed that wildlife would've been their last worry. I didn't read the article, but did they mention how a space elevator would WICK THE EARTH'S ATMOSPHERE INTO OUTER SPACE! First person to try and build one of these things is gonna get a swift kick straight to the nuts, so help me...

Re:Just goes to show...

[plopez]

but repetition makes it funny (+1 funny)

Re:robot tests are dumb

[Anonymous Coward]

NASA just called. They want to buy your shoelaces

I for one...

[foniksonik]

Welcome our new Irradiated Insect Eating Mutant Swallow-Bat Hybrid Overlords

Luckily we will be able to shoot them off the elevator with the laser beam that powers to climber ;-p

Re:Don't Lose Sight of Our Goal!

[hcob$]

"BALLS . . . IN SPACE!!!" the sequel to "SPACEBALLS"

I believe the title you are looking for is "Spaceballs 2: The Search For More Money". But that's ok, we'll just have to confiscate this...

*yoinks geek badge*

There, everything's fine now.

Re:Just goes to show...

[maxwell demon]

but repetition makes it funny (+1 funny)

Really? Well, let me try:

but repetition makes it funny (+1 funny)

Re:am i the only person

[Anonymous Coward]

No, there's plenty of idiots like you out there.

Re:Simplify

[Anonymous Coward]

Or how about a tube running along the tether?

But what happens when someone puts into that tube enormous amounts of material?

Re:Ants

[radish]

"Ladies and gentlemen, uh, we've just lost the picture, but what we've seen speaks for itself. The Corvair spacecraft has apparently been taken over -- 'conquered' if you will -- by a master race of giant space ants. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive earth men or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I for one welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves."

Maybe...

[CrackedButter]

Maybe the wildlife is trying to let us in on what the Dolphins already know?

Re:Just goes to show...

[Fyre2012]

...Late in the test, swallows were also seen swooping down on the balloons...
African or European?

Re:Wonky Steve

[cno3]

... but the Apple Store [engadget.com] sure as heck did!

Re:Moore or Murphy?

[Shrithe]

He may have meant Moore's, but he gave an excellent example of Murphy's.

Re:Putting it in perspective

[Junior J. Junior III]

The pollution (and therefore environmental damage) caused by using a rocket to put one ton of payload into space is about a zillion times what would be caused by

Wait, wait -- is that U.S. or British zillions?

Re:Ants

[sckeener]

On behalf of Texas and most of the South, I will gladly send all our fireants [wikipedia.org] to space.

Re:Don't Lose Sight of Our Goal!

[AncientOfHerb]

Silly, she is using us to spread the bugs around!

No Way!!

[Cragen]

This is NO WAY that the space elevator will EVER get completed. (There. That guarantees that it will be completed!) Cragen

Re:Just goes to show...

[famikon]

Or when ants ride the balloons up to space and adapt to the environtment.

Next thing you know, Starship Troopers.

Re:If they only knew...

[IpalindromeI]

It's more like putting a straw into a glass of water and the other end into a vacuum cleaner. See, the atmosphere is like a water balloon, but it's full of air instead of water. When the shuttles go out, they poke little holes in the atmosphere, but they're small and don't last long, so not much can escape. But if we go putting this giant tube out there, the hole will stay open and the vacuum of space will suck out all our air.

Obviously the solution is to make the tube twice as long and bend it in half so that both ends are down at the ground. Then the air might cycle through, but would stay down here around the Earth. Of course we'll still need something to guard the part out in space, or the space monkeys might try to bite a hole in it to suck up some Earth air and make their voices all high-pitched and funny. Those space monkeys are always causing trouble.

If we manage to attract enough squirrel...

[Ruvim]

... we could use them to power the Space Elevator!

Re:60,000 mile tether - not possible

[Zinho]

I'm an engineer. My perspective is that the glass is twice as large as it needs to be.

So am I; I'd prefer to think of it as having a safety factor of 2. =)

Re:Just goes to show...

[HeroreV]

The rain forest is not something you just dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes. And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when the sky puts the rain in, it gets in line and it's going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of monkeys and beetles, enormous amounts of monkeys and beetles.