Does it work for Perl? If so, we can say it is done.

Try saying $|++; $@?@^W--:!s/$#_/$_/g while <>; for 3000 lines !

My throat will never recover!

I can't wait to see people trying to pronounce some of the stdlib functions, not to mention some of the other goofy things that people generally use.

Problem with C++ and other case sensitive languages would be also how the upper and lower case letters are entered.

#define then else
So fooey on you. C(++) can use 'then' too :-)

#define then <
#define than >
#define maybe(x, y) {if(x then -x) y;}
#define minusmaybe(x,y) {if (x than -x) y;}
#define perhaps(x, y) maybe(y, x)
#define possibly(x, y, z) maybe(x, y) z;
#define unlikely(x, y, z) {x; perhaps(z, y)}
#define quantum(x,y,z) {while(y) {perhaps(y,x) minusmaybe(x,y)}}

"if current record number is less than max offset do the following"

This is both shorter to utter and less cognitively demanding.

for i = 1 to numOfPigs
  if pig[i].altitude > 0
...