Microsoft PR Rep is the Switcher 901
Here's a followup to our
earlier story
about Microsoft's "inverse switch" campaign. The AP tracked down the switcher and spoke with her:
she's an employee at a Microsoft public relations firm but says she actually did switch from Mac to Windows. Microsoft's
page
is still 404 (but Google's
cache
still works).
The interesting part to me is that the AP "tracked Mallinson by examining personal data hidden within documents that Microsoft had published with its controversial ad." Hmmmmmm.
(Kudos to obidonn, the first to
demonstrate
the use of a stock photo, which piqued interest in this story.
As of noon EDT Oct. 15, other
stock
photos
are still being used in anonymous Microsoft "testimonials.")
Hoax? (Score:5, Funny)
How do we know the Anonymous Poster isn't an employee of Linux and is just trying to discredit their biggest competitor?
Good grief, where does it end? (Score:4, Funny)
Microsoft have so much egg on their face that this they're starting to look like that nasty chick in a cheap porno!
People still trust these assholes?
Looks good on them (Score:2, Funny)
Nah... who am I kidding?
Funny tho... (Score:5, Funny)
Where's that photo of a 20-something geek with brown shaded glasses and a bad-collared shirt?
Gotta clear some things up (Score:5, Funny)
1) M$ websites stating the advantages of IIS are served using Apache on Linux (or BSD, I don't remember which).
2) M$ PR firm employees have to be coaxed by M$ to switch the XP from their Apples because it has such great things as Office, IE, and multiple users that obviously aren't available in Mac OS X.
Man, with such convincing facts as those, I'm throwing away my Powerbook and switching to Windows!
Why track the IP address ??? (Score:5, Funny)
Dead people? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Good grief, where does it end? (Score:4, Funny)
Sure, why wouldn't they trust them? I mean, look at their great new focus on security! [slashdot.org]
Re:Busted (Score:5, Funny)
Ironic... (Score:5, Funny)
But on topic, if they tracked her down, how 'bout a real photo of this person? Just for comparison's sake.
It looks like MS is trying to do a "save my face" operation here by spinning the story by (of course) a MS PR person.
Man do I feel dumb. (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Google cache still works? (Score:5, Funny)
"astroturf" and "microsoft" (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Why track the IP address ??? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Good grief, where does it end? (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft saved my job (Score:5, Funny)
One day I asked my boss for a new video camera for my Mac. He said "Remember, your paycheck comes from Microsoft, let's switch you for our new marketing campaign!"
So I switched.
And then my boss said "Hey, Microsoft wants to tell the world that you switched, but you're no prettier than those people Apple used. We wish you looked BETTER than Apple people."
And so they used some stock photos to give me a make over.
People have switched (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Man do I feel dumb. (Score:5, Funny)
Can I have your G4, then?
Good thing ... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Dead people? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Hoax? (Score:5, Funny)
Valerie G. Mallinson in 20 Years (Score:5, Funny)
Valerie: "Yes, honey."
Daughter: "Did you like it, mommy?"
Valerie: "No, honey."
Daughter: "Why?"
Valerie: "It was for Microsoft."
Re:Dead people? (Score:5, Funny)
... and died?
"A spokeswoman from Apple would not comment" (Score:5, Funny)
"A spokeswoman from Apple would not comment"
Yeah - because she was still cleaning up all of the millk that she laughed through her nose.
Truth in Advertising, Breaking News on Slashdot (Score:4, Funny)
Behind the Lines (Score:5, Funny)
"But sir... we're running out of feet."
What is all this slashdot traffic? (Score:5, Funny)
The BEST part of it (Score:5, Funny)
Some switch (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Dead people? (Score:5, Funny)
Of course they are ... what do you think they run in hell?
I'd just hate to be the SysAdmin of hell ... running Exchange and IIS ... just think of all the hacking going on there ...
Re:How they traced her down (Score:2, Funny)
I hope you can't sleep at night, because I know I don't!
Re:Some switch (Score:5, Funny)
*Editor's Note: Now that we've successfully converted our writer to a Windows PC, we will be working on getting her to try a Pocket PC. Stay tuned for more developments!
Gosh, do you think they'll be able to get Valerie to 'try' a Pocket PC? After she's been a FREAKING PROFESSIONAL CONSULTANT on the device? Too bad we'll never find out!
Confessions of a Windows to MenuetOS Convert (Score:1, Funny)
Yes, it's true. I like the Menuet Operating System [menuetos.org] enough to change my whole computing world around.* Here's the bottom line: Menuet gives me more opportunities to write 32-bit assembly code. It's about more and better...
I can read my files, I can write my files, I can even write to video memory. To my surpise, the process of switching was as easy as all the Menuet OS marketing hype had promised. I was up and running as fast as I could format the floppy, Girl's Scouts Honor taken. First, let me tell you more about why I converted...
I'm an assembler geek. All those high-level abstractions found in other operating systems are for pansy-assed sissies. I want an OS that required that I coded my own TCP/IP stack before I coded a web browser. In assembler. Menuet delivered.
I discover more treats daily. For example, I have to reverse engineer Microsoft's .doc file format if I want to implement a word processor whose data files can be infected with viruses. It will be an ongoing process, but I'm thrilled so far.
*Editor's Note: Now that we've successfully converted our writer to using Menuet OS, we will be working on getting her to try writing a Befunge [catseye.mb.ca] interpreter for it! Stay tuned for more developments!
Re:Ed Wood ad agency? (Score:5, Funny)
I can see it now...
Quick fade into rocket taking off. Cut to two 70's crash test sedans in a head-on collision. Horizontal wipe to atomic bomb detonating. Crossfade to fat guy taking a cannonball in the stomach. Star wipe to garish orange screen with Microsoft logo and "Where do you want to go today?" tagline. All done to the tune of cheap, generic classical music.
In a strangely Microsoftian twist, this'd all be done with iMovie, which would be revealed on Slashdot a few weeks later. The ad would be immediately pulled.
Waiting for the obvious PR counter-punch (Score:2, Funny)
"Microsoft? Hell, they can't even find enough real people to do their ads, they had to dredge up an employee!"
A freelance writer huh? (Score:5, Funny)
"I am a freelance writer; I demand the best in mobile computing."
But if you work for Microsoft PR, you can't be freelance now, can you?
Perhaps she was misquoted:
"I am writing promotion materials for Freelancer, a game which will demand the best in computing hardware"
why apple will never succeed... (Score:5, Funny)
I mean, look at the difference:
Apple: spends the better part of a year looking for interesting, off-beat, photogenic people. Then they read hundreds of emails. They hand-pick a bunch of folks and pay money to fly them out, coach them, then tape them. They put the ads on nationwide TV.
Microsoft: Somebody at Microsoft's PR firm picks up the phone and says "Hey, remember that writer, Valerie? And remember how the screen on her Mac Centris 610 finally died and she got that Windows laptop? .. What's that? .. Yeah that was funny.. though I probably I did the same thing the first time I used a CD-ROM .. But anyway, track her down and give her $500 to finish some copy for our new campaign. I've already got most of it written.. .. what?.. No, just put a stock photo like usual .. okay .. bye!"
How easy! That's why Apple will always be a "niche" player. They give a shit about stuff like this. Like the guy in college who actually wrote all his lab reports while everybody else just copied one from last year.
Re:Ed Wood ad agency? (Score:5, Funny)
"Look at the pretty colors"
"It doesn't lock up as much as previous versions."
"Look at the pretty colors"
My Question is (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft Word 10.0 (Score:5, Funny)
I love this world.
Re:What surprises me... (Score:5, Funny)
As a side note, I think some of you Slashdotters agree that you'd be more than willing to go "biplatform" if Macs weren't so expensive... There's a $199 Wal-Mart PC for the curious Mac users, where's the $199 Mac for curious PC users?
Same place they sell the $12,000 Mercedes Benz.
microsoft fabricating news? (Score:1, Funny)
Earlier Ad - Steve "Monkey Man" Balmer Switch Ad (Score:1, Funny)
http://homepages.nyu.edu/~jgg221/
See Balmer like never seen before.
Re:And this is helpful how? (Score:5, Funny)
Boss: Johnson! What are you doing?
Jonhson: Reading Slashdot, sir!
Boss: Good! I want your report on it by 5:00 tonight. And for the love of god, stop trolling those newbies!
* Breaking News * (Score:5, Funny)
Monday October 9, 2:04 pm ET
REDMOND, WA, Oct. 9
MS Mac User Converter®. MS Mac User Converter® is a product that converts a Macintosh® user
to MS Windows XP® user. "Our internal tests has been more successful than we had expected," said
Steve Ballmer, the CEO of Microsoft®. "If we can successfully convert all Macintosh® users to MS
Windows XP®, we're going to dominate 96% of the desktop market." Ballmer said. "Next step is to
convert all the Linux® users, but we still have some problems that needs to be solved. Linux® users
tend to be tougher to convert." Ballmer said.
Microsoft® can now add MS Mac User Converter® to their already successful list of innovations,
such as:
- MS Windows®
- MS Excel®
- MS Word®
- MS Powerpoint®
- MS DOS®
Microsoft® clearly shows the world that they're ahead of their competitors. "None of the competitorshave been able to launch a product like MS Mac User Converter®. This strengthens Microsoft®'s
position on the market" said Blackie Lawless, industry analyst for Gartner Dataquest's Software
Industry Research group®.
Re:Good grief, where does it end? (Score:2, Funny)
And then, spontaneously people just started buying it.
Name Change? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Good grief, where does it end? (Score:3, Funny)
Right. I can see those Redhat switchers now: Soccer moms building team logos with Gimp; grandmothers who use mysql to track all the grandkids' birthdays; dads writing device drivers for their new camera....it'll be swell.
Re:Dead people? (Score:5, Funny)
The boy finally whispers "I see dead people using Windows". -
leave M$ alone (Score:5, Funny)
surely, you can cut them some slack. ballmer is up late at night thinking of more ways he can attack linux/open source. with 40 billion in the bank, they just can't aford to do the necessary research and investigation. give them a break will you.
i'm sure there are plenty of people who'll testify that they learned how to program using "Learn Visual Basic" and are now working at a major software company.
Re:Google cache still works? (Score:5, Funny)
Broadband cable dialup? (Score:2, Funny)
blah blah blah....
"The New Connection Wizard then guided me through the setup of my Internet connection for browsing the Web."
Hey!! I want to dial into my cable provider too. Does XP actually let me do that???
Re:Man do I feel dumb. (Score:4, Funny)
Heh... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Hoax? (Score:3, Funny)
it looks like... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Dead people? (Score:2, Funny)
Not to mention the total lack of system resources from the hordes of daemons.
Yeah yeah yeah...I know...I know...
-I am the Grinning God of Chaos.
Re:Busted (Score:5, Funny)
a) have 257 new emails in your hotmail account (all spam)
b) have new updates that are ready to install (the ones that you installed last week)
c) have unused icons on your desktop (no I use them, that is why they are on my desktop)
d) really need to take that tour of windows XP that you've been putting off
e) have to click close on that nice spyware that keeps launching doubleclick and x10 ads because microsoft doesnt believe that the desktop full of unused non-updated icons really belongs to you.
Thanks for playing.
Re:Man do I feel dumb. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Good grief, where does it end? (Score:3, Funny)
Linux is awesome! I can easily hide my porn from my parents' prying eyes by tar/gzipping it into files they'll never think to open, like mozillalinuxsqlsourcedriver523.tgz
Re:Dead people? (Score:3, Funny)
Actually, it's three nines... upside down.
PR Mania (Score:3, Funny)
From what I have seen of Microsoft's PR mania I would actually be surprised if they could find someone in Western Washington that wasn't a Microsoft PR person.
Re:Ironic... (Score:4, Funny)
Man, I clicked that ad until I was blue in the face. I loved the irony of it. Hey malda! I just made you some more cash! Woohoo! Billy is paying for it :)
*big grin*
Re:Truth in Advertising, Breaking News on Slashdot (Score:4, Funny)
That's why I only buy products endorsed by people who e-mail me "special deals". If it weren't for these fine gentlemen, I never would have found out about Cock-Enlarging Herbal Viagra (guaranteed to make her scream), nor would have believed that Nubile Webcam Wenches would be Sucking and Fondling just for me. I'm not sure what spirit of benevolence caused you to mail me this amazing offer, but thank you, Friend. I mean, if you can't trust getabiggerdick@hotmail.com, who can you trust?
Re:Google cache still works? (Score:2, Funny)
Kinda makes you feel like the Hardy Boys, doesn't it?
not original (Score:3, Funny)
best line (Score:2, Funny)
the mental image I get is from someone laughing so hard she CAN not comment.
You can VOTE for this story. (Score:5, Funny)
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Yahoo members, you can mod this one up!!!
W
Re:Google cache still works? (Score:4, Funny)
Yeah, I can just see tomorrow's version of this story:
""The AP tracked down the switcher and spoke with her: she's an employee at a Microsoft public relations firm, but she says she actually did switch from Mac to Windows after MS offered her free hardware, and threatened the PR firm with loss of contract in the event she contradicted their fake story.
After threats of termination of job, and physical harm against her family, Mallison relented and agreed to corroborate the article."
-- james
That was -too- funny (Score:3, Funny)
It's as if Microsoft's shamelessness was so huge that I can't single out a witty smart-a** comment to toss up here. My brain doesn't quite know which was funnier, the stock Getty Images, the 8 year old kid that can write at a college level, the woman who works for MS PR, the fact that anyone would find a Windows box easier to use.
I'm going to archive that google cache and print it up for my "Wall of Shame" at work. The *nix geeks will love it
I can see the *next* ad now. . . (Score:5, Funny)
KFG
The story has made it to the BBC (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Google cache still works? (Score:3, Funny)
"not a real person"? (Score:3, Funny)
"...the picture of the woman used to illustrate the story was a stock image from the Getty Library and unlikely to be that of a real person." (emphasis mine)
I hope she doesn't have an inferiority complex already, because this kind of talk really won't help...
Re:Hoax? (Score:3, Funny)