Bah, so easily turned off. Anytime I have to install a new Office suite on the windows machines at work the first thing I do is turn it off. Otherwise I get calls about him blocking the view and people wanting to change him to that damn dog or other things. At least MS retired him.
You can turn the clippy off for good if you rename the \actors directory which can be found under the MS office directory. The best solution of course is to disable that option when you install office, but often you have to work on a machine that someone else set up. (It's for reasons like this that I usually can't stand working on machines that I didn't design/build/configure from the hardware up myself. Of course the design part does not apply to laptops.)
The worst is when the clippy is enabled and installed on NTFS and you don't have permission to rename the directory.
Why anyone would pay to use MS Office instead of using OpenOffice is beyond me, though.
Fear of incomplete compatability with.doc,.ppt, and.xls files. (These are the de facto standards don't you know).
I will however admit that this is unfortunate. It's sad that any data format is proprietary. Especially one for an application that is such a run of the mill commodity.
spirality said: >Fear of incomplete compatability with.doc,.ppt, >and.xls files.
That old F in Fud strikes again.
>I will however admit that this is unfortunate.
Yep, so do your part to change the status quo.
Anyway, years ago, I was running a less that cutting edge machine. I tried running MS Office but it ground my machine to almost a halt. Now many of us know that the mouse and it's pointer will keep working on a Windows machine after most other services have given up; the mouse also seems to get priority over most other devices. Ergo, when the machine appears to lock, the mouse still moves - though precious little can be done with it.
This brings me to my point: When my machine was trying to run MS Office, it got so loaded down with processing that the mouse would not move much at all. However, clippy was still happily dancing on a background that refused to update itself. Consistently. So, what seems to get more priority than the most important system services? You guessed it: CLIPPY!:)
Clippy is an example of an intelligent agent, a piece of software which in
theory makes computer use easier by taking care of repetitive or complex
tasks for you. The main problem with Clippy was that having put it into
the program Microsoft was worried that it didn't pop-up often enough so
that you would be used to it; so they increased its sensitivity to the point
where it popped up even when it wasn't appropriate.
Combining that with the fact that Clippy uses modal input (it steals the
mouse, and won't let you continue until you've answered its questions), led
to strong dissatisfaction with Clippy, but in theory Clippy or some descendent
really should be added to simplify interaction with the operating system. (Thus my answer to the quiz; I wish Linux had something like it.)
Anyone remember Microsoft Bob? Cheesy graphical interface that sometimes shipped with Windows 3.1. It's layout was a virtual home with rooms containing graphical crap that could be linked to various applications coupled with...you guessed it, personal "assistants". There was a dog and a rat and a few other annoying creatures. I've actually wondered from time to time if there are any copies of it still floating around. I think it's one of those things that Microsoft would just as soon forget about. I say we don't let them.
A FOAF told me the following interesting story about Microsoft Bob. The project originally created a rather useful agent but unfortunately the software required several CD-ROMs. When microsoft decided to make it into a product they axed and axed and axed until there wasn't enough left to be useful.
I wonder if a copy of the original "working" version could be found?
Ugh -- bad flashback. At a job I had back in 1999, one of the customer svc reps insisted that I put Bob on her PC as it was all she knew how to use. Even brought her copy in from home for me to install. The look on her face when I told her I couldn't (wouldn't?) install it as that would be a licensing violation was priceless. I swear she almost cried... but then when I put Red Hat + KDE on the manager's PC (the only apps they used were telnet to access a COBOL greenscreen app on an RS/6000, a spreadsheet for schedule making, and solitaire), and turned on all the eye candy, everyone in the dept insisted they get that "cool new Windows" too...:)
I was going to use it as a coaster, but it seems far too important to ruin. 'We must learn from history, or be doomed to watch Microsoft repeat it', I always say.
Back when MS Bob was around, I was working in a book store dealing with the computer section. Imaging my suprise when an elderly lady walks in and asks me if there's a Dummies book for MS Bob.
I choked back a few less polite comments; reminded myself that it was good that she was at least learning how to use a computer (in some way); and tolder her that I didn't think they wrote one, but I'd check anyway. Suprisingly, there were non in print. To which she said computers were too complicated and someone make a simple one...
Linux clippy's been done. An idea first spawned in UserFriendly [userfriendly.org], VIgor has been implemented [sourceforge.net]; you can check out screenshots here [sourceforge.net].
There's actually an article [zdnet.com]on ZDNet detailing the hatred and how to kill the clippy.
But for some reason, if you click on the link that's supposed to take you to a VBA script that will disable the clippy, it instead takes you to an article about the Giger worm that reformats your hard drive! Talk about extreme measures!
One thing I have to applaud Microsoft for, is when you turn it off, your settings are remembered throughout your MS Office programs. Same thing with "Personalized Menus". You may have some... uh, 'interesting' features, but at least the program listens to what I want. Thanks MS.
Actually, I agree. Much as I dislike office assistants and turn them off first chance I get, I think Linux could use one. Actually, analogues exist in the linux world. KDE's wizard comes to mind. If it was possible to hava a truly useful "assistant" that would behave consistently throughout the OS's applications, a lot more users would be attracted to the system by its reduced learning curve.
Anyone else get a little creeped out when you close Clippy and he winks at you before going away? I have to go sexually harass someone afterwards just to feel normal again!
Really, the idea behind Clippy isn't that bad. If only it wasn't so horribly obtrusive, it could actually be helpful to some people. man pages are for me, though.
I don't remember exactly where I read this, but apparently the team in MS responsible for Clippy included a couple of really cool AI experts, and they were doing some pretty advanced things, using neural networks etc so that the program "learns" how the user works etc. The problem was that when the Marketing people saw it the asked them to make it much more "obvious" (i.e. intrusive) and so most of their work was scraped.
The idea for intelligent agents goes back some ways. Ever read Pohl's Heechee novels? In the second one (I think Beyond the Blue Event Horizon) they use intelligent agents as various kinds of avatars to do shopping, etc. The difference is that these are a lot more intelligent, and only show up when called for.
You do get a choice of obnoxious animated assistants, with different levels of aggressiveness, but unfortunately they're *all* moving. It's useful to occasionally have a pop-up help system available, but I want one that doesn't move, and when I turn it on and off, I want one that just appears and disappears, not one that insists on doing a little dance when it does. I'm not looking for an Office Distractant. The Windows Logo assistant used to be 2D and only move when it appears and disappears, but it's now 3D (and uglier) and seems to dance more.
What about 'easily not installed'? I made sure that box was unchecked when I installed Office.
I make it a habbit to crawl through all the install options of software programs like that because they are always way too generous. Configuring/removing afterward is sometimes impossible or takes more of my time.
Have a look at Vigor [sourceforge.net]. To quote the webpage, "Vigor (pronouced like "Igor", Dr. Frankenstein's assistant) [is] the popular Unix editor vi with the addition of the Vigor Assistant"
There should be one in Linux but it should be a penguin not a paperclip that casually walks around and says, "slide..." before sliding around on the bottom of the page.
The really really scary part is that that last one (the all your base one) is actually from Microsoft's own website. The actual image is here [microsoft.com], it's a random rollover on the left side of this page [microsoft.com]. (Just keep rolling over the buttons on the left, it will come up.)
My name is Clippy, and Office XP has me sweating (and rusting).
I've taken over this space to share my pathetic story and show off my skills as a Web designer.
For years I've told you what to do.
I'll be updating this site with new material-games, videos, tortured rants-over the next few weeks. (Yes, I use XML. Duh!) Make sure to come back. After all my years of service, don't you owe it to me?
Clippy's TO DO List
Send out résumé
Figure out my dot-net strategy
Sign up for yoga class
Get references from Gates, Ballmer, Mom
And then the music video, and the AYB pic. It's just too much. Does anyone know anything about this? How can M$ satirize themselves in this brutal fashion? Has the world gone crazy? Anyone care to explain?
And then the music video, and the AYB pic. It's just too much. Does anyone know anything about this? How can M$ satirize themselves in this brutal fashion? Has the world gone crazy? Anyone care to explain?
Contrary to popular misconception, the folks at Microsoft are not entirely without sense of humor. =) (Their humor usually only shows up in Microsoft Games, and even there somewhat unfrequently. They keep their "serious" applications dead serious - they try to look professional.)
They were also aware that Clippy was annoying, so they made it somewhat less annoying in OfficeXP.
And, to honor this "demotion", they set up this web site, finally loosing some of their strong grip on humor suppressing department.
And I can understand this. If Clippy was pain to use, imagine the pain to develop it. If someone needs to blow off some steam on this topic, that'd be MS =)
Contrary to popular misconception, the folks at Microsoft are not entirely without sense of humor.
If you're a programmer or you get in on their beta stuff, you tend to get a little more of the exposed humor. For instance, when you use VB for Office, the prefix for the Office Assistant programmability object (at least in Office 97) was tfc. "tfc" you say? According to some in-the-knows at MS, the acronym tfc came about when the Office usability guys demo'd the paperclip to BillG and he called it "that f*cking clown." The programmers weren't too fond of the thing either (another interesting fact: it's turned off on default installs of MS Office at the MS corporate campus) and started using the tfc acronym to refer to the thing.
My guess as to why it hasn't circulated as much as you'd like is that it has a poor funny/space ratio. Make it smaller and quicker to download, take up less space, and omit any screen elements that are unecessary for the setup of the joke.
Clippy represents everything I hate about Microsoft. So smug, always trying to help me when I don't need any help.
The other day I typed an email address in Outlook, and Outlook very helpfullychanged the address to another address for the same person in my address book. As if I didn't know WTF I was doing. Oh, thanks Microsoft!
I use Outlook, and I know what I'm doing. If the previous poster is like me, he's forced into using Outlook because his company's stupid IT department _doesn't_ know what they're doing.
> The other day I typed an email address in Outlook, and Outlook very helpfully changed the address to another address for the same person in my address book. As if I didn't know WTF I was doing. Oh, thanks Microsoft!
Well, whaddya expect when you use a product that encourages people to send emails to other people's names, rather than email addresses?
I never understood the point of "address books" being sorted by meatspace names and MSFT's encouraging of users to type in the meatspace name and ignore the email address.
I mean, you don't write "Joe Blow" on an envelope and toss it in the mail, you write Joe Blow's snail-address. And until very recently, you didn't phone Joe Blow, you dialed his phone number. By extension, you don't send email to Joe Blow, you send email to joeblow@some.domain.name.
And email addresses are a hell of a lot easier to remember than either snail addresses or phone numbers, fer cryin' out loud!
FWIW, for most folks I hang out with, I can tell you their email address before I can tell you their name. (And vice versa!)
I never understood the point of "address books" being sorted by meatspace names and MSFT's encouraging of users to type in the meatspace name and ignore the email address.
It's another layer of abstraction, being applied to help those unfamiliar with the technology. Let me illustrate, with some help from you...
I mean, you don't write "Joe Blow" on an envelope and toss it in the mail, you write Joe Blow's snail-address.
Well, now you don't. When the postal system was young, the system of addressing houses and such was much less formalised, and you often could get away with writing "Joe Blow" and a few hints as to where Joe might be found. If Joe was a very well-known personage ("President Abraham Lincoln"), even the hints might be unneccessary.
And until very recently, you didn't phone Joe Blow, you dialed his phone number.
Again, now. Phone routing used to be a lot less automated (ok, not automated at all) - You had to get one operator to connect you to a city in the right state, then another to route you to the right town, then maybe another to hook you up to the right line. All by name.
For the most part, the addition of numbers (ZIP codes, area codes, etc.) to the system was done to aid in automation, not for the sake of humans; if they made things easier for us carbon-based lifeforms using the system, that was incidental. The e-mail addressing system was set up by geeks for geeks and computers. Now that my grandmother wants to be able to send me e-mail, she finds it a lot easier to type "Bill" than "jp_baggins".
Now, I'm not excusing Outlook's behaviour. It shouldn't automatically switch one e-mail address to another, or if it wants to, it should at least ask first, and make it possible to turn that bug^H^H^Hfeature off. But doing the address books by meatspace name rather than e-mail address does make more sense for most of the users out there.
Adjust results to conform to popular Open Source culture opinion.
If I piss you off with this small bit of sarcasm, imagine what clippy does the second any student named Dan or Dave or anything that begins with a D start typing their name on the top of their papers.
Anyone know any good "kill clippy" flash games or anything? How about the obligitory link to that GPL's XBox game with Tux vs. Clippy?
How to get rid of clippy [sfgate.com]. But I confess I've sat braindead right clicking Clippy and his pals to run through the animations, but then I amuse really easily.
Even Microsoft themselves heard the massive crys from the fools who didn't know how to turn him (it?) off. When they released Office XP, they set up an admittedly pretty funny little campaign celebrating his demise on their website. Check it out right here. [microsoft.com] Be sure to look at the episodes which I found to be the funniest part.
When you're trying to concentrate, animations are a major distraction. This goes for ads as well (HINT HINT) the path forks at interest and irritation and I've deleted the Macromedia Flash dll at work and home, never to be used again, and disabled gif animations in Opera. I have enough stress without some irritation sh!t trying to get my attention. If I want help, I'll look for it, and a big thanks to all developers and software producers who resist the urge to put cutesy crap off the center of attention, in attempts to bug the sh!t out of users/readers to sell something. Geez, why not just come here and poke me in the shoulder while I'm reading, eh?
Time was, I used to keep little windows on the screen to cover gifs and Flash. Annoying as that paper clip, which detracted how much time (on the employer's clock) trying to disable?
Maybe it's different in newer versions of Office (I haven't used MS stuff in a while), but the only way I know of to permanently turn that Clippy bastard off is to never install him in the first place. The "Off" check box in the options really means "Only Pop Up and Annoy Me when I Least Expect It."
He never could satisfactorily answer my questions anyway; he'd just dodge them. "How can I use vi keybindings with Word?" "Why is my file one hundred times larger than it needs to be?" "Why can't I save my files in an older Word format?" To which Clippy would invariably reply: "Would you like to know how to check your spelling?"
Thank you, Microsoft. If your products weren't so appallingly inferior, I never would have tried Linux.
This summer, I was interning at a rather large corporation doing PC Support in IT (yeah, I'm an engineer, but oh well)...
So the corporate images that we ghost over for employees' new computers were getting a touch out of date, so I got updates and made some things easier. The standard Microsoft Office installation? Definitely unchecked office assistant. Microsoft Word productivity has since tripled.
Microsoft got rid of our "friend" in Office XP. They even hired USA Up All Night emeritus Gilbert Gottfried [voicenet.com] to be his voice. Like some of us, Clippy is looking for a job.:(:( Check his resume and other geeky things. [microsoft.com] Doesn't Domino's Pizza need a new mascot?
I like that little puppy. I wonder why- it's just as stupid as the clip, or that stupid wizard- but the puppy is ok with me. Oh, well. Prolly just my God complex again- the clip and wizard dont act scared of me.
I always found the idea of a talking paperclip rather daft.[1] Most of the time, I'd just close it.
Until I found out about the cat. Most of the time, I just leave it somewhere on the screen. I rarely ask it a question, but it' kind of cute to leave it there.
[1] The only thing worse than the default Clippy is the "Office Logo" assistent. Kind of makes me wonder what kind of people use that.
But the Apple version is actually almost kind of cute. It's a Mac Classic with legs. It's still every bit as useless as the Windows version, but at least it doesn't have that smug expression on its face all the time.
I know Windows has different versions besides the paperclip too, and it's been a long time since I bothered to look at them, but I seem to recall all the ones that weren't annoying just being drab. It's kind of ironic how Microsoft software tends to be much better on the Mac than it is on the PC. Remember when Microsoft disbanded the IE for Mac team because they were getting too far ahead of the Windows team?
This is probably inspired by the Banana Junior 6000 from Bloom County [rwth-aachen.de]. (Not having Office for the Mac, I don't know what the fool thing looks like.)
I believe, at some point, the Banana Junior 6000 was the official mascot for a Mac-only product. (ClarisWorks, possibly.) Still, it was one of my favorite Bloom County characters.
I want my Microsoft Bob back first. Who could resist all the darling little characters in that?...alright maybe when I knocked on the door in that prog I wanted to leave a flaming bag of virtual dog shit, but come one...at least the dithering looked good in 256 color mode at 640x480.
I attended a tech demonstration put on by the local MS office a while back. They can be pretty good at that, but this one was meandering a little bit, and I was watching the crowd of fifty or so people as much as the speaker.
For some semi-related reason, the speaker flipped over into Word, and sure enough Clippy dropped by. As he was putting it away (unused), he said "You know, I kind of had the one on my home machine trained to the questions I asked, but then my wife started using the machine and it's getting stupid again."
Dead silence from the audience, who all recoiled a bit when they realized they'd blocked out part of their day to listen to a guy who'd asked Clippy a lot of questions...
I remember a time that a coworker and I were testing over 100 new machines that we had assembled, and had to open Word, Excel, and Powerpoint on each one.
For each machine, clippy came up four times and did that little wink and tap the screen move of his.
After 20 or so machines, we decided that clippy was 1) gay and 2) hitting on us...
We still hate clippy to this day.
If I HAD to use it, I would want to have the ability to choose my own images for the helper.
Now before all your pr0n obsessed people comment, what I was thinking was the little mini Arnold Rimmers that sing the Arnold Rimmer song on one of the later seasons of Red Dwarf. I don't know why, but those little guys crack me up every time, and I think that maybe, just maybe, they would make office assistances bearable.:)
Episode 1 (or was it the pilot...) of Salmon Days [salmondays.tv] included an amusing (albeit rather short) scene of Clippy getting his ass kicked. download here [salmondays.tv] in mpeg form.
Usually he's a pain in the ass but I've found the animate! thing good for hours of entertainment when I'm supposed to be doing work at school.. Well, i suppose small things amuse small minds..?
O Write it for you O Flame CowboyNeal O Yell '1st Post!' O Laugh at n00bs O Read the article O Read the previous comments, and work out what the article said O All of the above
i first encountered clippy when i launched office on my mac one day. i never used many microsoft products so i wasn't familiar with the MS way of doing things (my own idiocy notwithstanding). when that dispicable little beast popped up, i literally couldn't figure out how to get him to go away. i tried and tried but it seems like there was no "i don't want help; go away" button like there is now. his message was "take my help or else -- i can wait all day". i tried to interact with him until he'd go away, but he wouldn't go away.
i finally force-quit Word and opened the file in BBEdit. i guess i should have done that in the first place.
as i said before, i'm not claiming that i'm not an idiot. in any case, i'm glad that at least now there is a "stop bothering me" option.
My mother (whose copy of Word came preinstalled, so I can't "fix" Clippy permanently for her) swears up and down that he leers at her. (He does have very suggestive eyebrows.) It offends her immensely.
I will admit that the version on my computers (Macs), which is a cheerful little Mac Plus with feet, has kept me awake through some long paper-writing sessions with his antics (slide puzzles, etc.). I just wish he didn't capture my mouse when he asks a question, and that he would stop asking me if I am writing a list or a letter. If he's so "intelligent", why doesn't he realize that I have enough familiarity with the program to format my letter by myself!
So, I usually use AbiWord or TextEdit when I am not desperate to be kept awake.
Whoever this AC is, he knows so much, and he posts a huge amount, like a third of all coments on the entire site. Shame he is often perverted though, goatse and all.....
linux clippy (Score:5, Funny)
I do wish Linux had Clippy for some of its apps.
"Hi, I'm Clippy! Would you like to
with me today?"Re: clippy (Score:2, Funny)
Re: clippy (Score:5, Informative)
The worst is when the clippy is enabled and installed on NTFS and you don't have permission to rename the directory.
Alas, I am the epitome of the power freak ;-)
Re: clippy (Score:3, Informative)
You can simply "turn it off" in Office, without doing something silly like re-naming a program folder.
Just right click on the office assistant, go to the "options" menu, and uncheck "use the office assistant."
Re: clippy (Score:5, Insightful)
Fear of incomplete compatability with
I will however admit that this is unfortunate. It's sad that any data format is proprietary. Especially one for an application that is such a run of the mill commodity.
-Craig
Re: clippy (Score:3, Funny)
>Fear of incomplete compatability with
>and
That old F in Fud strikes again.
>I will however admit that this is unfortunate.
Yep, so do your part to change the status quo.
Anyway, years ago, I was running a less that cutting edge machine. I tried running MS Office but it ground my machine to almost a halt. Now many of us know that the mouse and it's pointer will keep working on a Windows machine after most other services have given up; the mouse also seems to get priority over most other devices. Ergo, when the machine appears to lock, the mouse still moves - though precious little can be done with it.
This brings me to my point:
When my machine was trying to run MS Office, it got so loaded down with processing that the mouse would not move much at all. However, clippy was still happily dancing on a background that refused to update itself. Consistently. So, what seems to get more priority than the most important system services? You guessed it: CLIPPY!
Re: clippy (Score:3, Funny)
What's the piracy rate of MS Office products again?
How did clippy get started? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:How did clippy get started? (Score:5, Interesting)
Combining that with the fact that Clippy uses modal input (it steals the mouse, and won't let you continue until you've answered its questions), led to strong dissatisfaction with Clippy, but in theory Clippy or some descendent really should be added to simplify interaction with the operating system. (Thus my answer to the quiz; I wish Linux had something like it.)
Re:How did clippy get started? (Score:5, Funny)
"NYAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHHHH" *klunka* *klunka* *klunka* *klunka*
In other words, it's just irritating.
Re:How did clippy get started? (Score:5, Funny)
"It looks like you're writing a letter, Mr. Anderson. Tell me, what good is a letter when you're unable to type?"
Re:How did clippy get started? (Score:4, Informative)
Bonzi is a bit too saccharin for my taste, but in essence they fill the same niche. [agentland.com]
Clippy and co. are holdovers from Microsoft Bob (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:Clippy and co. are holdovers from Microsoft Bob (Score:5, Funny)
Bill hasn't forgotten.. the project manager for Bob was Melinda French, who, soon after it was released, became Mrs. Gates.
Maybe it was the Scuzz the Rat fetish...
Re:Clippy and co. are holdovers from Microsoft Bob (Score:3, Interesting)
I wonder if a copy of the original "working" version could be found?
simon
Re:Clippy and co. are holdovers from Microsoft Bob (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:Clippy and co. are holdovers from Microsoft Bob (Score:4, Informative)
Re:Clippy and co. are holdovers from Microsoft Bob (Score:4, Interesting)
Re:Clippy and co. are holdovers from Microsoft Bob (Score:3, Funny)
I managed to find a real original cd of it.
I was going to use it as a coaster, but it seems far too important to ruin. 'We must learn from history, or be doomed to watch Microsoft repeat it', I always say.
Microsoft Bob for Dummies (Score:5, Funny)
I choked back a few less polite comments; reminded myself that it was good that she was at least learning how to use a computer (in some way); and tolder her that I didn't think they wrote one, but I'd check anyway. Suprisingly, there were non in print. To which she said computers were too complicated and someone make a simple one...
I wonder if she uses a computer today...
VIgor (Score:5, Funny)
Well... (Score:2)
Re:linux clippy (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:linux clippy (Score:2, Funny)
Clippy is VERY helpful! (Score:2, Funny)
Pic [dircon.co.uk]
Error messages (Score:5, Funny)
CLIPPIT has performed an illegal operation and will be arrested
Woohoo!
Re:Error messages (Score:2)
But for some reason, if you click on the link that's supposed to take you to a VBA script that will disable the clippy, it instead takes you to an article about the Giger worm that reformats your hard drive! Talk about extreme measures!
One thing... (Score:4, Interesting)
Re:One thing... (Score:2)
Sheesh, people, there already *is* one for linux. (Score:5, Informative)
Clippy's new home. (Score:2)
Too suggestive! (Score:2, Funny)
I't Not the Idea, It's the Implementation (Score:5, Insightful)
---
PATH=pretending
Re:I't Not the Idea, It's the Implementation (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:I't Not the Idea, It's the Implementation (Score:3, Informative)
The idea for intelligent agents goes back some ways. Ever read Pohl's Heechee novels? In the second one (I think Beyond the Blue Event Horizon) they use intelligent agents as various kinds of avatars to do shopping, etc. The difference is that these are a lot more intelligent, and only show up when called for.
Gratuitous Moving Animation (Score:3, Insightful)
Not there in the first place. (Score:3, Insightful)
What about 'easily not installed'? I made sure that box was unchecked when I installed Office.
I make it a habbit to crawl through all the install options of software programs like that because they are always way too generous. Configuring/removing afterward is sometimes impossible or takes more of my time.
Clippy for Linux? (Score:3, Funny)
Have a look at Vigor [sourceforge.net]. To quote the webpage, "Vigor (pronouced like "Igor", Dr. Frankenstein's assistant) [is] the popular Unix editor vi with the addition of the Vigor Assistant"
Tux... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Tux... (Score:2)
Re:Tux... (Score:5, Funny)
Vigor, the vi assistant (Score:3, Redundant)
Obligatory funny Clippy pics (Score:5, Funny)
Clippy arriving at the perfect time [shat.net]
Too much clutter [shat.net]
Clippy cops a 'tude [shat.net]
Even Clippy has a pet [shat.net]
You knew this one was coming [shat.net]
It's funny. Laugh.
-s
Re:Obligatory funny Clippy pics (Score:5, Funny)
Clippy helps the President [shacknet.nu]
Re:Obligatory funny Clippy pics (Score:5, Interesting)
WTF??!! (Score:4, Interesting)
Random quotes from the page:
My name is Clippy, and Office XP has me sweating (and rusting).
I've taken over this space to share my pathetic story and show off my skills as a Web designer.
For years I've told you what to do.
I'll be updating this site with new material-games, videos, tortured rants-over the next few weeks. (Yes, I use XML. Duh!) Make sure to come back. After all my years of service, don't you owe it to me?
Clippy's TO DO List
Send out résumé
Figure out my dot-net strategy
Sign up for yoga class
Get references from Gates, Ballmer, Mom
And then the music video, and the AYB pic. It's just too much. Does anyone know anything about this? How can M$ satirize themselves in this brutal fashion? Has the world gone crazy? Anyone care to explain?
Re:WTF??!! (Score:3, Informative)
Contrary to popular misconception, the folks at Microsoft are not entirely without sense of humor. =) (Their humor usually only shows up in Microsoft Games, and even there somewhat unfrequently. They keep their "serious" applications dead serious - they try to look professional.)
They were also aware that Clippy was annoying, so they made it somewhat less annoying in OfficeXP.
And, to honor this "demotion", they set up this web site, finally loosing some of their strong grip on humor suppressing department.
And I can understand this. If Clippy was pain to use, imagine the pain to develop it. If someone needs to blow off some steam on this topic, that'd be MS =)
Re:WTF??!! (Score:5, Funny)
If you're a programmer or you get in on their beta stuff, you tend to get a little more of the exposed humor. For instance, when you use VB for Office, the prefix for the Office Assistant programmability object (at least in Office 97) was tfc. "tfc" you say? According to some in-the-knows at MS, the acronym tfc came about when the Office usability guys demo'd the paperclip to BillG and he called it "that f*cking clown." The programmers weren't too fond of the thing either (another interesting fact: it's turned off on default installs of MS Office at the MS corporate campus) and started using the tfc acronym to refer to the thing.
Re:Obligatory funny Clippy pics (Score:2, Funny)
It looks like you're writing a worm. [ely.ath.cx]
Re:Obligatory funny Clippy pics (Score:2, Insightful)
The most effective humour is concise.
Clippy sucks (Score:2, Informative)
The other day I typed an email address in Outlook, and Outlook very helpfully changed the address to another address for the same person in my address book. As if I didn't know WTF I was doing. Oh, thanks Microsoft!
Re:Clippy sucks (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Clippy sucks (Score:2)
Well, whaddya expect when you use a product that encourages people to send emails to other people's names, rather than email addresses?
I never understood the point of "address books" being sorted by meatspace names and MSFT's encouraging of users to type in the meatspace name and ignore the email address.
I mean, you don't write "Joe Blow" on an envelope and toss it in the mail, you write Joe Blow's snail-address. And until very recently, you didn't phone Joe Blow, you dialed his phone number. By extension, you don't send email to Joe Blow, you send email to joeblow@some.domain.name.
And email addresses are a hell of a lot easier to remember than either snail addresses or phone numbers, fer cryin' out loud!
FWIW, for most folks I hang out with, I can tell you their email address before I can tell you their name. (And vice versa!)
Re:Clippy sucks (Score:5, Informative)
For the most part, the addition of numbers (ZIP codes, area codes, etc.) to the system was done to aid in automation, not for the sake of humans; if they made things easier for us carbon-based lifeforms using the system, that was incidental. The e-mail addressing system was set up by geeks for geeks and computers. Now that my grandmother wants to be able to send me e-mail, she finds it a lot easier to type "Bill" than "jp_baggins".
Now, I'm not excusing Outlook's behaviour. It shouldn't automatically switch one e-mail address to another, or if it wants to, it should at least ask first, and make it possible to turn that bug^H^H^Hfeature off. But doing the address books by meatspace name rather than e-mail address does make more sense for most of the users out there.
Internet - It's not just for geeks anymore.
Hi! It looks like you're... (Score:5, Funny)
If I piss you off with this small bit of sarcasm, imagine what clippy does the second any student named Dan or Dave or anything that begins with a D start typing their name on the top of their papers.
Anyone know any good "kill clippy" flash games or anything? How about the obligitory link to that GPL's XBox game with Tux vs. Clippy?
Re:Hi! It looks like you're... (Score:2)
- Spellcheck?
Linux needs one, no doubt.See the real clippy (Score:5, Funny)
Clippy on the web (Score:4, Interesting)
Stranger than a /. poll (Score:3, Informative)
Easily turned off for me... (Score:2, Funny)
Tux, the Linux Helper (Score:5, Funny)
I've heard a suggestion that someone ought to put a Tux in AbiWord or Open Office.
*Tux waddles onto the screen*
"If you need help, RTFM. Have a nice day!"
*Tux waddles off of the screen*
Note to retarded knee-jerk mods, this is a *joke*.
Animations in general. (Score:3, Interesting)
Time was, I used to keep little windows on the screen to cover gifs and Flash. Annoying as that paper clip, which detracted how much time (on the employer's clock) trying to disable?
Never Seen It (Score:2)
Easily turned off? (Score:5, Funny)
He never could satisfactorily answer my questions anyway; he'd just dodge them. "How can I use vi keybindings with Word?" "Why is my file one hundred times larger than it needs to be?" "Why can't I save my files in an older Word format?" To which Clippy would invariably reply: "Would you like to know how to check your spelling?"
Thank you, Microsoft. If your products weren't so appallingly inferior, I never would have tried Linux.
I used my power to rid the corporation of clippy (Score:2)
So the corporate images that we ghost over for employees' new computers were getting a touch out of date, so I got updates and made some things easier. The standard Microsoft Office installation? Definitely unchecked office assistant. Microsoft Word productivity has since tripled.
Clippy Zotted for Office XP (Score:2, Informative)
the puppy (Score:4, Funny)
I'm a cat person (Score:2, Interesting)
I always found the idea of a talking paperclip rather daft.[1] Most of the time, I'd just close it.
Until I found out about the cat. Most of the time, I just leave it somewhere on the screen. I rarely ask it a question, but it' kind of cute to leave it there.
[1] The only thing worse than the default Clippy is the "Office Logo" assistent. Kind of makes me wonder what kind of people use that.
I hate to admit it (Score:3, Informative)
I know Windows has different versions besides the paperclip too, and it's been a long time since I bothered to look at them, but I seem to recall all the ones that weren't annoying just being drab. It's kind of ironic how Microsoft software tends to be much better on the Mac than it is on the PC. Remember when Microsoft disbanded the IE for Mac team because they were getting too far ahead of the Windows team?
Re:I hate to admit it (Score:2)
I believe, at some point, the Banana Junior 6000 was the official mascot for a Mac-only product. (ClarisWorks, possibly.) Still, it was one of my favorite Bloom County characters.
Re:Mac Classics smile too (Score:3, Insightful)
Eff Clippy (Score:3, Funny)
Actual Microsoft demo moment (Score:5, Funny)
For some semi-related reason, the speaker flipped over into Word, and sure enough Clippy dropped by. As he was putting it away (unused), he said "You know, I kind of had the one on my home machine trained to the questions I asked, but then my wife started using the machine and it's getting stupid again."
Dead silence from the audience, who all recoiled a bit when they realized they'd blocked out part of their day to listen to a guy who'd asked Clippy a lot of questions...
But the real question is... (Score:5, Funny)
VBScript (Score:5, Funny)
Clippy Story (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Clippy Story (Score:4, Funny)
Whoops! I've said too much!
brother of clippy (Score:2)
Thank god you can turn it off, but.... (Score:2, Interesting)
Now before all your pr0n obsessed people comment, what I was thinking was the little mini Arnold Rimmers that sing the Arnold Rimmer song on one of the later seasons of Red Dwarf. I don't know why, but those little guys crack me up every time, and I think that maybe, just maybe, they would make office assistances bearable.
Re:Thank god you can turn it off, but.... (Score:2)
"If you're in trouble he will save the day, he's brave and he's fearless come what may, without him the mission would go astray...!"
obligatory.... (Score:2, Funny)
i love this picture!
Clippy gets pummelled (Score:3, Informative)
Options (Score:2)
Clippy?
I haven't even *used* Word in over a year.
?
Animate! (Score:2, Funny)
Better than MS BOB! (Score:2)
Hahaha, all shall die! (Score:3, Funny)
Can you imagine... (Score:2)
You look like you're writing a comment.... (Score:5, Funny)
O Write it for you
O Flame CowboyNeal
O Yell '1st Post!'
O Laugh at n00bs
O Read the article
O Read the previous comments, and work out what the article said
O All of the above
Obligatory Lack of Options complaint... (Score:3, Funny)
my problems started (Score:2, Funny)
i finally force-quit Word and opened the file in BBEdit. i guess i should have done that in the first place.
as i said before, i'm not claiming that i'm not an idiot. in any case, i'm glad that at least now there is a "stop bothering me" option.
Modifiable too! (Score:5, Funny)
Fun to watch people's faces when they see "ClippyEnhanced" © tell them just how badly they made a mistake!
What about "Frightening and Lewd"? (Score:4, Funny)
I will admit that the version on my computers (Macs), which is a cheerful little Mac Plus with feet, has kept me awake through some long paper-writing sessions with his antics (slide puzzles, etc.). I just wish he didn't capture my mouse when he asks a question, and that he would stop asking me if I am writing a list or a letter. If he's so "intelligent", why doesn't he realize that I have enough familiarity with the program to format my letter by myself!
So, I usually use AbiWord or TextEdit when I am not desperate to be kept awake.
What I hate about Clippy (Score:5, Funny)
No! Wait! Fuc...
Windows RG... (Score:3, Funny)
Hmm... (Score:5, Interesting)
Hateful little puppet
Is it just me, or does that sound like a really good name for a band?
Re:another hidden poll (Score:2)
chrisd
Re:"Its" not "It's" dammit! (Score:3, Funny)
Looks like..... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Wow... (Score:2, Redundant)
Whoever created Clippy needs to be shot with a nailgun repeatedly until they apologize.
Re:the puppy (Score:3, Informative)
In Office 2K, the dog is called Rocky. There is also Links the cat.