Santa Claus vs. the Marketers 81
Jonathan Cohen writes "Hi: Not sure if this is up your alley, but since Slashdot deals with privacy, copyright, and 'piracy' issues, I thought you might be interested...I'll quote my press release: It's Christmas Eve, and Santa Claus is grounded. After Claus Inc. hired a consulting firm in early November to re-brand Santa's image and revamp its business practices, the corporation has been on a downward spiral. The elf workforce has been downsized 70%, Santa's been given shoulder pads to make him look thinner, and even Rudolph's been eliminated for environmental reasons (nose radiation).
This is just part of the free short story "Santa Claus vs. the Marketers," an adult fable about contemporary business issues."
I wonder... (Score:1)
Re:I wonder... (Score:1)
Re:I wonder... (Score:1, Funny)
"But Rob was also a computer whiz, and would've become a hacker if Santa hadn't intervened
when Rob was quite young." (Jonathan Cohen)
Re:I am stunned and amazed.... (Score:1)
Re:I am stunned and amazed.... (Score:2)
Origin of Santa (Score:1, Interesting)
Personally, the marketing side of Christmas gets to me because the "true meaning" has been totally lost in the persuit of present buying.
On the flip side the "true meaning" of Christmas is rather lost on me because I'm a heathen!
Saint Nicholas should be green. He has no sleigh or reindeer, he doesn't live at the North Pole and he does not necessarily have to be fat.
Still, what does it matter. I'm nothing but an anonymous coward!
Re:Origin of Santa (Score:3, Interesting)
This is only half-true. Before the campaign Santa was depicted in several ways, green was popular but so was red and white. Coke picked up on the red and white one for obvious reasons but they didn't originate it.
TWW
Re: (Score:2)
Re:Origin of Santa (Score:2)
Re:Origin of Santa (Score:3, Funny)
My point is that being a heathen, you should know quite a bit about the true meaning of Christmas!
Re:Origin of Santa (Score:1)
Sorry, no. That's an Urban Legend. (Score:2)
Claim: The modern image of Santa Claus -- a jolly figure in a red-and-white suit -- was created by Coca-Cola.
Status: False
(Excerpt)"This legend is not true. Although some versions of the Santa Claus figure still had him attired in various colors of outfits past the beginning of the 20th century, the jolly, ruddy, sack-carrying Santa with a red suit and flowing white whiskers had become the standard image of Santa Claus by the 1920s, several years before Sundlom drew his first Santa illustration for Coca-Cola"
Re:Sorry, no. That's an Urban Legend. (Score:1)
rj
Re:Sorry, no. That's an Urban Legend. (Score:2)
However if you'd care to send them contrary evidence with verifiable references, I'm very sure they'd change the status to True.
Re:Origin of Santa (Score:1)
And a moron, to boot. While we're at it, why not remodel Jesus? He looks that way because a medeival painter's idea of what Jesus looks like seriously caught on. Considering where/when he was born, he probably did not have long hair and a ghotee. He was probably fairly dark skinned. Probably had a fairly large nose, very pronounced forehead, fairly large, brown eyes. Oh. And since you're a heathen, let's remodel Mary, since you know she couldn't have been a virgin, right?
Let me guess... (Score:1)
You got shit presents this year?
Oh! so bitter!
T&K.
Re:DO NOT WORSHIP SANTA CLAUS ! (Score:5, Insightful)
While we're on the subject of subverting holidays: How about the fact that "Christmas" is the result the early Christian Church rebranding Yule (a.k.a Sunreturn)? They even changed the birthdate of Jesus (which was actually in March so far as anyone can tell for sure). Pine trees -- also co-opted from the Pagans. Santa Claus/Father Christmas -- ditto. Midwinter feasting -- etc., etc. All co-opted by (what was then) the New Order.
My take on the whole business from a Pagan perspective is that the Christians stole our holiday, now they're having it stolen from them in turn by the acolytes of Mammon. As you give, so shall you get. So don't preach at me about "the reason for the season" -- my reasons to celebrate are liable to predate yours by a millenium or more.
That being said, I hope everybody had a nice holiday, whatever you might call it. Here in Brisbane, we tossed a couple of chickens on the barbie, pigged out, and were blessed by some rain late in the afternoon that checked the heat nicely, thanks.
Re:DO NOT WORSHIP SANTA CLAUS ! (Score:1)
Re:Spare us your enlightened spirituality..... (Score:2)
My point was that each religious New Wave *cough* borrows *cough* from those preceding it.
> You never learned anything about the peoples that predated the Celts?
Who said anything about the Celts?
> Your post reminds me of someone who constantly tells other people how profound 'The Matrix' is -- 3 years after they saw it.
I must admit that I enjoyed The Matrix, but -- "profound"? I don't think so. It was just a movie, after all.
I must confess that I find it amusing when I (very occasionally) point out someone else's preachy revisionism and get accused of it myself for daring to do so. Particularly by those who presume to pigeonhole me so they can make More Enlightened Than Thou attacks on some stereotype, whether or not it actually has anything to do with me or my belief system.
The pot thinks it sees a kettle and wants to call it black.
Re:DO NOT WORSHIP SANTA CLAUS ! (Score:3, Insightful)
That's like saying 'Mine is bigger!'
Really, who cares who's relegion is older? Older doesn't always mean 'right'.
Re:DO NOT WORSHIP SANTA CLAUS ! (Score:1)
Fax strait plz (Score:1)
That said, you might check your other facts. Who knows? Maybe you'll find that Ebeneezer Scrooge was right on the money, after all. [Okay, just kidding].
But if your impressions of facts are defining your opinions, and they are wrong, then maybe your opinions are wrong too.
Re:DO NOT WORSHIP SANTA CLAUS ! (Score:1)
There are christians that do take the Santa/Jesus feud seriously. If it is a feud, then, as depicted in the first South Park holiday episode, Jesus has lost. However, it need not be a feud. Jesus and Santa appeal to different parts of our personalities. They are not in competition. Of course if you are referencing the graven image clause of the biblical commandments, they that also precludes ownership of most artwork and buying clothes, cars, etc based on branding. It is not useful to pick and choose commandments.
The current image is large based on the Coke ads but Santa, much like Christmas is a composite. It Santa's case, there have always been legends of good people leaving gifts for kids. In the case of Christmas, there was an intentional decision by the church powers to set christmas a few days after the winter solstice, in line with then contemporary pagan traditions, rather than Spring, which would have been consistent with biblical accounts.
You are correct that Christmas is not about gifts, but peace and love. However, Santa in itself is not about materialism. It is about being rewarded for being a good person. This is a developmentally appropriate feeling for children. I was good today so I get a sticker in my book. Santa leaves one gift. Mall santa make parents buy too many gifts.
And just as a counter argument, no one should worship anything. The 9/11 people worshiped and it caused them to kill thousands of people. McNicol and McVeigh worshiped and they killed innocent children in a day care center. Hitler worshiped and he oversaw the deaths millions of innocent civilians.
Yay! (Score:1)
Wierd Al references are fun!
The reason for the season... (Score:3, Funny)
In another news (Score:3, Funny)
Re:In another news (Score:1)
Re: In another news (Score:2)
Ahem.. Don't they always tell us that owning it doesn't make it our software?
That said, there can only be so much software that is Bill Gates' software.
FUD rules.
Re:In another news (Score:1)
Don'cha know the North Pole is in Canada? If there's any doubt, Santa gives his postal code every time he drives his sleigh:
H0-H0-H0
Merry XMAS!
Santa Claus lives in Korvatunturi - Finland (Score:1)
Santa Claus of Finland
Santa Claus lives in Korvatunturi - "Ear Fell" - with Mrs. Santa and elves. It is his own secret home. He is wise and old. Did you know that Santa Claus speaks many languages. He wears a red coat, vest and linen shirt and warm boots.
Korvatunturi is 483 metres high and in fact, there are two ears at the top. This way Santa Claus can hear all children around the world. Korvatunturi is located in the municipality of Savukoski, at the eastern border of the Finnish Lapland.
Since the 1950s, Santa Claus has visited the Arctic Circle to meet children. There he established his own Santa Claus Office in 1985 where he comes every day of the year to meet children and adults and also to hear gift wishes.
On this site you can read what Santa Claus wants to tell you about Lapland and the traditions of the Finnish Christmas. You can also find some other important things that Santa Claus wants to tell you.
------
Correct (Score:4, Funny)
*Happy**Holidays*!
Re:Correct (Score:2)
That makes me sad.
Re:Dudes, dudes.... (Score:2, Interesting)
For the first time... (Score:5, Funny)
Yesterday and I'm sure today, I'm being overwhelmed with calls from boys/girls, moms/dads and grads who are setting up their new wireless networks for the first time.
Don't forget the series of College students home for the holidays trying to get their portable with the wireless card setup for school to associate with mom and dads wireless network at home.
I have to admit, that when I first walked in this morning, I was a bit bitter. I considered blaming my day here at work away from my family on every caller. Were it not for them, I wouldn't have to be here.
But you know what? If I just got a wireless network for Christmas to go with my new computer, well, I would want the stupid thing to work too.
So I'm happy to help. Maybe someone's day can be made better by the fact that I can get there new toys all working for them.
To those people calling for older issues though...put down your computer. Watch some TV, relax with your family. Heck, go see a movie.
My daughter asked my why I had to work today...I explained that Santa had a wireless network in his sleigh so he could get mapquest...I had to be at work in case he needed help with it.
Merry Christmas!
Re:For the first time... (Score:1, Interesting)
But still, a little sacrifice to make others happy.
Merry Christmas
Re:For the first time... (Score:1)
All the best to you and yours.
Re:Pink slip (Score:3, Interesting)
Don't ignore the needs of customers to surf the web. Don't surf porn, hacking, hate, piracy or illegal activity websites.
Otherwise, surf to your hearts content to the limit of the firewalls. Which means, if between calls or while a customer is rebooting I want to read
Just because some employers are oppressive about the use of the web in their workplaces, doesn't mean my employer is.
Re:For the first time... (Score:3, Interesting)
If I wanted to, I could have traded my shift away, and gotten cash for it, and still been payed for the holiday.
But, doesn't bother me, I worked the graveyard shift, so now I'm relaxing at 11:00 am, drinking some wine, and celebrating. My family doesn't really celebrate Christmas until the 28th anyways (let's us get the last minute boxing day shopping in.. been that way since as long as I can remember - suprised more people don't celebrate this commercial holiday later.)
Anyways, happy holidays to all!
Re:For the first time... (Score:1)
Of course, I'm not stupid. They get paid time and a half for working holidays, and both need the money...
The TOYS conquer Christmas? (Score:3, Interesting)
(1) Post a notice on the side of the box: "Our employees enjoy Christmas too. We will be available for tech support on Dec. 26th, bright and early."
(2) Be available for tech support for setup *before* Christmas, for those who have the foresight to test it. Make one optional box a decorated box that only needs a ribbon added. Necessary info is on the bottom.
(3) Make something that really works out of the box.
(4) Sell only working units.
(5) Be more diverse: hire more Jews, Islamic, and Buddhist people. They'll be happy to work on Christmas day. But also have Christians who can work on the Jewish, Islamic (etc.) holy days.
That's just a few. The overall message? Have a backbone. Be decent to your employees AND their families. Your employment practices do not exist in a vacuum; they help create the world you live in next year.
Re:The TOYS conquer Christmas? (Score:2)
Reminds me of Politically Correct stories (Score:3, Funny)
His first book, Politically Correct Fairy Tales was pretty cute, but by the time Holiday Stories came out the jokes had run their course. What with the climate of paranoia today, I've got a kick out of some of the political satire running locally.
He knows when you are sleeping...
He knows when you're awake...
He knows if you've been bad or good...
No, not Santa Claus, John Poindexter, so you better watch out!
Mirror (Score:2)
http://www.gutenpress.org/SantaClausVsMarketers.P
Nice quote from the story (Score:1)
"I don't know if information wants to be free or not," they heard santa call out from the sleigh, "but I know Christmas presents gifts certainly do."
Keeping with the times (Score:1)
Re:Keeping with the times (Score:1)
Movie... (Score:2)
whisper whisper
Oh. That was Santa Claus conquers the MARTIANS.
<EMILY-LATELLA>
That's very different. Never mind.
</EMILY-LATELLA>
This just in... (Score:2)
What I want for xmas (Score:1, Insightful)
Conquers the Martians or MST3k reference? (Score:2)
That title reminds me of the old movie "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" [imdb.com], which, surprisingly enough, is aparantly being remade! [imdb.com]
This is the movie from whence the line "Droppo, you're the laziest man on mars!" sprang forth into the world. It's a very entertainingly bad movie, and was featured in Mystery science theater 3000 episode 321. [largo.fl.us]
Ryan Fenton
What are they still doing here? (Score:2)
I was under the impression that the Eldar left for the undying lands long before. Or did they leave because they were downsized?
there should really be a spoiler warning (Score:3, Insightful)
Thank You. S. Clause
damnfinewriting = damnfinewaytogetfreemarketing (Score:2)
Time for Santa to make a Change for the better! (Score:2, Informative)
Last Post! (Score:1)
the Great Mathamatical Spirit form the Book: the Topologist. And they grew to
large numbers and prospered.
One day they looked up in the heavens and desired to reach up as far
as the eye could see. So they set out in building a Mathematical edifice that
was to reach up as far as "up" went. Further and further up they went
until one night the edifice collapsed under the weight of paradox.
The following morning saw only rubble where there once was a huge
structure reaching to the heavens. One by one, the Mathematicians climbed
out from under the rubble. It was a miracle that nobody was killed; but when
they began to speak to one another, SUPRISE of all suprises! they could not
understand each other. They all spoke different languages. They all fought
amongst themselves and each went about their own way. To this day the
Topologists remain the original Mathematicians.
-- The Story of Babel
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...