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Will Barry White Songs Help Sharks Get Down? 149

iforgotmyfirstlogon writes "From ABC News: Ten resolutely celibate sharks at the National Sea Life Center are getting a blast of Barry White in hopes they'll get in the mood for love." Nothing like a little music to get you in the mood..." CD: Valentines Day should be called Barry White day.
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Will Barry White Songs Help Sharks Get Down?

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  • He attracted snakes on the Simpsons, didn't he?
    • by YoPt ( 172577 ) on Thursday February 14, 2002 @06:14PM (#3010785)
      Your kidding me right? OK. For most the day I have been paying more attention to the Modding on post and IMHO it is all screwed. No offense to this post, I thought it was cute. Informative though? If this catches the eye of anyone who cares and/or can do something to start some reform on the current Mod system please do so.

      /mini-rant off
    • I thought Barry White was the Walrus of love, not the Shark of Love??? strange!
    • The sharks may get horny, but will they want to buy iBooks?

  • by Anonymous Coward
    I wonder if the researchers got the idea from watching South Park.
  • by kin_korn_karn ( 466864 ) on Thursday February 14, 2002 @06:03PM (#3010697) Homepage
    Sounds fishy to me.
    I don't think I believe this.

    *groan* *retch*

    Thank you, I'll be here til friday, enjoy the steak...
  • This reminds me of whacking day
    • Re:Simpsons (Score:2, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward
      This reminds me of whacking day
      To me everyday is whacking...oh, you mean something completely different.
  • Whatever... (Score:2, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward
    More like sharks will by swimming into walls blindly as they use their tympanic drums to navigate in addition to hearing.

    *ooh baby*... bonk
  • by Anonymous Coward
    Dude, Barry White could get the Elephant Man laid.
  • Sure? (Score:2, Funny)

    by blue_zero ( 515189 )
    or maybe they'll just get in the mood to eat anyone bothering to swim out into the ocean..

    "OOOOOOOO...your making me hungry.."

    "Arby's..sastify your grown up tastes.."

  • resonance (Score:5, Funny)

    by kin_korn_karn ( 466864 ) on Thursday February 14, 2002 @06:06PM (#3010732) Homepage
    Barry White's voice is so deep that the resonance must serve as a no-touch vibrator for women.
  • Whats next? (Score:3, Funny)

    by dmouritsendk ( 321667 ) on Thursday February 14, 2002 @06:07PM (#3010734)
    "Scientists" playing Seals Fly Like An Eagle to abandoned babybirds hoping to get them to fly?
  • Maybe if the female ones feed the males some hardees's food too (which Barry white has done comercials for) they'll be more in the mood?
  • an idea (Score:3, Funny)

    by macsox ( 236590 ) on Thursday February 14, 2002 @06:09PM (#3010746) Journal
    taco: i think amazon [amazon.com] carries barry white cds. hint hint.
    • Re:an idea (Score:2, Funny)

      by neuroticia ( 557805 )
      Slashdotters need all the help we can get. =] (Although in our case a more appropriate aphrodisiac would be a beowu... Ok. I'll resist the joke.)

      -Sara
  • Hey, it works on whales ... I hear it helped Bill get Monica ...

  • The CBC [www.cbc.ca]'s As It Happens [radio.cbc.ca] had this on the 12th... Hear it in Real Audio [radio.cbc.ca]. (Link is to page, from which you can link to RA)

    -jbn

  • by Afrosheen ( 42464 ) on Thursday February 14, 2002 @06:11PM (#3010764)
    Has anyone considered that these sharks are gay?
  • sharks have 2 penises

    barry's songs apply to 1 penis... could be some problems....
  • Deep Bass (Score:2, Insightful)

    by loydcc ( 325726 )
    Why Barry White? For his deep throaty bass sound? What if it's harmful to the sharks? We don't know.

    Didn't the US Navy just admit to killing some whales with ultra low frequency sonar?

    • Whales != Sharks...
      • Keep your heresy to yourself.
        The earth is flat.
        The moon is cheese.
        Pi is 3.
        And whales are fish.
        • Re:Deep Bass (Score:1, Flamebait)

          by frozenray ( 308282 )
          May I kindly suggest that you research the facts more carefully before you accuse others of heresy?

          The earth is flat.

          Voilà, I give you The Flat Earth Society [alaska.net] - quote: "Deprogramming the masses since 1547". Granted, those dudes are a little short on evidence right now, but I'm sure they'll come up with something as soon as they find a way to escape their comfortably padded cells.

          The moon is cheese.

          Green cheese, to be exact. Here's [crosswinds.net] the scientific evidence, complete with lots of important looking numbers.

          Pi is 3.

          "Scripture (I Kings 7:23) clearly declares that the value of pi (the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter) is 3, not the secular humanist value of 3.14 taught in every school in Lawrence." Source: this page [geocities.com]. (I believe the author might be counseling the prestigious Kansas Education Board. He also has something to say about that ridiculous round earth theory)

          By the way, in my day we didn't have those newfangled processors with floating point units you kids have today, so we had to make do with "PI EQU 3" and we got along with it just fine, thank you very much.

          And whales are fish.

          Yeah, and spiders are not insects, right? Let me quote from this [finucane.de] page: "Pure nonsense. Either whales are fish or sharks aren't. I'd say whales are fish." There are more interestings facts to be found on this page, but I have to take my medication now.

    • Re:Deep Bass (Score:1, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward
      Deep throaty bass...Am I the only one who caught the pun?
  • Who wouldn't be absolutely thrilled to know their music doesn't just help humans fall in love? It sure makes me want to chase women around rooms biting at their backs and lower regions.
  • duh (Score:4, Funny)

    by Dr. Awktagon ( 233360 ) on Thursday February 14, 2002 @06:14PM (#3010792) Homepage

    How about giving those sharks a little PRIVACY!

    Shark #1: Darling, allow me to gentle stroke your pectoral fin.. let me gently nibble your..

    Researcher: HEY! He's getting close, turn on the video camera! Play the Barry White! Turn on the spotlight!

    Shark #2: Uhm, not interested.

    Shark #1: Damn you humans and your infernal lights and music! A pox on your families! May wasps eat at your eyes!

  • Barry... (Score:2, Funny)

    by ackthpt ( 218170 )
    To sharks, would Barry be the other White meat...?

    "...can't get enough of your love, babe..."

  • by drdidg ( 456501 )
    Valintines day should be SAD

    Singles Awarness Day!! :)
    • by mlk ( 18543 )
      Valintines day is not about lovers, it's about send cards out to people your'd like have as lovers.

      Bloody Commercialism making me spend £1.30 on a card.
  • by kisrael ( 134664 ) on Thursday February 14, 2002 @06:30PM (#3010892) Homepage
    The NPR interview with one of the people there (perhaps the curator?) mentioned that the music the carp were listening to was generally classical. Now, despite the effect Barry White might have on humans (and Ally McBeal characters), I wouldn't be surprised if it lacks many of the qualities that made the classical interesting work with the carp. I'm no big fan of classical, but I do buy into the idea that it has a sense of complexity that modern music doesn't have. Most classical generally has less sharp percussion than Barry White's backing band, and probably a less jarring flow. They've said so far that the males seemed more excited, but maybe they're just getting agitated.

    Anyway, it sound like pretty dubious science. Cute story for the day however.
    • by Anonymous Coward
      Whatever. Maybe Brahms, but stick some Wagner or Sousa in the player and you'll get a nice dose of percussion.
    • Yeah, that's true. I was making some assumptions about what "kind" of classical...personally I only like the big loud or fast stuff, Dvorak's New World Symphony, Mozarts Rondo Alla Turca (sorry mis-spelled).

      Not sure if Sousa marches are considered classical though.
  • This can be used to reverse the recent trend in shark attacks. Build bathing suits with small speakers specially built for underwater use. Any nearby sharks will suddenly become preoccupied with 'other things'...
    • I swear I am not making this up. Look it up at your university library if you don't believe me:

      According to a review of the book "Shark Attacks: Their Causes and Avoidance" (Lyons Press) in reputable science journal "American Scientist" [sigmaxi.org], Volume 89, September-October 2001, p. 458, "The book is loaded with other shark-related facts, including the surprising information that these animals are less dangerous than toilets: In 1996, only 18 people in the United States were killed or injured by a shark, whereas 43,687 were injured by a toilet. ("Could the toilets be mistaking people for seals?)

      And you worry about shark attacks? Me, I play Barry White songs to my toilet. I'd rather have it put the moves on me than mistake me for a seal.
  • Well taken from the report on sharks at seaworld [seaworld.org] here [seaworld.org], I dont think it will work very well.
    Since sharks seem to be attracted to sounds from 20hz to 100hz as reported here [vanaqua.org](humans hear~20hz-20,000hz), because it associates it with prey or a fish in distress. What they do "hear" of Barry would probably only make them want to gobble him up. Sharks can also hear sounds in that ragne from up to 2km away, reported here. Hope they turn ole Barry down baby.

    So it seems to me that they will achieve bunch of pissed off hungry sharks.
  • Michael!!! Did you hear your father, out of the water NOW!!!!
  • There is already a "White Day" and White Day is related to Valentine's Day [tokujo.ac.jp].
  • Does this constitue fair use or is the RIAA going to sue them?
  • It was deep enough to attract snakes on the simpsons...
  • was last night. I was lining up a nice dinner and a chick flick with an old friend a week ago. It didn't trigger at the time that Thursday was VD. So, of course the night was free for both of us.

    Although the night didn't end with sex, I realised half-way through dinner that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get into trouble, be insensitive, embarrassing, or thoughtless. There were going to be no tantrums, expectations, or politics. We laughed at our dirty laundry instead of using it to hurt each other.

    What more could you want from the night? (You are not allowed to reply with "sex" :)
  • by DrSkwid ( 118965 ) on Thursday February 14, 2002 @06:48PM (#3010993) Homepage Journal
    And I'm in Nottingham, Englad and the venue was The Birmingham Sea Life Centre, Birmingham, UK!

    something fishy is going on!

    though of course sharks aren't fish
  • Check out the Whacking Day [snpp.com] episode... Barry White saves the city's snakes by singing "I Can't Get Enough Of Your Love Baby" (not sure if that's the right title).

    So, if the snakes can respond to Barry, I don't see why other animals wouldnt... :)

    Mark
  • by Nathdot ( 465087 ) on Thursday February 14, 2002 @06:48PM (#3010996)
    where they were playing Celine Dion.

    Now those were some fucking angry sharks!:

    Neeeeeaar Faaaaaaar, Whereeeeeveeer Yooou Are *MAD FRENZY BEGAN* ... By the time it got to: I Beeeeelieeeeve that my heart will go Oooooooon the tank was filled with blood and one surviving very injured shark.

    No; For the "love" it always has to be Barry White!
  • Besides the Simpsons episode regarding snakes, maybe a scarier prospect would be the King of the Hill episode, Return to La Grunta [tvtome.com]. Hank gets attacked by a horny dolphin! (Along with other people.)

    Someone must alert Mr. White now!! Before it's too late!!!!

    Mark
  • Lenny Henry (the British Comedian) said something like (and I'm paraphrasing) "Sex with Barry White must be like shagging an ink blotter", and that the noises he makes during the act (the same ones he makes into the microphone) are really him saying "Get me a crane, I can't get up".
  • And you thought the Digital-Logic Microspace Mini-PCs [slashdot.org] were dumb to have on /.!
  • I would rather a shark try to eat me, than try to get all freaky with me!!!! Oh wait...
  • we just stuff Barry White full of aphrodisiacs and then feed him to the sharks. Anyone object?
  • I seem to remember a potbellied pig, an elephant, a chef, and Elton John.
  • It must be pretty hard to find a red velvet smoking jacket that has provision for a fin, much less a pimp hat that would work for a Sphyrna Lewini [oceanoasis.org]...

    (I don't know what species of shark these are, I just picked that one randomly.)
  • Screw Barry White. We all know that Chef is the one true master of getting sharks to get down.
  • ...I have some beach front property in Arizona that I want to sell you.
  • ...white sharks?
  • Barry white day eh? Oh hell that would confuse the shit out of any japanese tourist or immegrants that would show up around that time of year.

    They have a valentines day too, but then shortly after that they have a white day. That day is where everythings reversed, instead of the boys getting girls stuff.. girls give boys stuff.

    Then they'd be wonderin who Barry is, and why it's his white day.

    ...
  • by limejuice ( 218346 ) on Thursday February 14, 2002 @10:39PM (#3011971)
    I do production work for bands (lights and sound) and recently did a private party for half.com [half.com] at the New Jersey State Aquarium in Camden and the sound system that was used that night consisted of 4 18" subwoofers. The stage was directly across the dance floor from one of the large windows looking into the main ocean tank, which holds various sharks and other fish that are native to the North Atlantic. After the band began playing, I looked at the tank and noticed that some of the fish were getting more frisky instead of simply moping around the tank like they normally do. I didn't notice any intercourse, but I wasn't really looking for it.
  • Will they need a special authorization from RIAA as they'll broadcast it to an audience of ten sharks ?

    Will RIAA somehow invoke the DMCA and order the National Sea Life Center to shut down its operations immediatelly because they're causing billions of dollars in losses ?
  • This could save numerous Australians and their tourist industry: Build big Speakers playing Barry White Songs on Bondi Beach and finally surf and swim without the fear of shark-attacks (shakatak?).

    Dirk

  • this is the best post i've ever seen on /. thanks chrisd!
  • why my Iron Maiden Cds weren't working.... :)
  • ...in the throes of passion, the last thing I want to hear is a deep male voice.

If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious.

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