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The Almighty Buck

Alas Poor DALnet, We Hardly Knew Ye 72

cryptonix was among the first to write with the outcome of the long-rumored DALnet/AOL acquisition game: "Direct from their site: The DALnet IRC Network, a leader in Internet Chat, announces that a sale of it's network infrastructure and services has been agreed with America Online for $1.5 million. America Online, one of the worlds largest international internet service providers has been negotiating with the DALnet IRC Network for approximately 1 month in secret negotiations. *sigh*"
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Alas Poor DALnet, We Hardly Knew Ye

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  • by Anonymous Coward
    This is an April fools joke, this one has been around since 1995.
  • by Anonymous Coward
    America Online also has plans to replace the position of administrators with automated inteligence bots that respond in a logical manor. Why design bots that only respond in a logical manor? Wouldn't it be better design to make them responsive in any type of building?
  • by Anonymous Coward
    Also, the "one month of secret negotiations" sounds pretty funny when you consider the fact that AOL was banned from DALnet about a month ago for nine days. Reason: lack of comminications.

    See DALnet news: AOL Banned [dal.net] and AOL ban lifted [dal.net]

  • You don't laugh very often, do you?

    Admittedly, the pranks are a little weak (always have been), but it's nothing to get annoyed at.

    Just chuckle today, and get real news tomorrow.
  • AOL used to have EFNet servers. There used to be tonnes of AOLers around back then. Until AOL's servers were banned...
  • Id've thought it would've been a little more than that. While its only an IRC network, I'm suprised no one better than *ack* AOL *ack* looked into it.
  • This, like many past DALnet April Fool's jokes, has been really funny afterwards because it was so possible (and we'd all been secretly hoping it for a while.) I especially liked the one about 4 years ago about dalvenjah getting run over by a truck. The cheers of joy from operators were quickly quashed, however, when we all found out he wasn't really dead. It was even funnier to watch people posting apologetic messages for cheering about it. :)
  • by cygnus ( 17101 )
    did they negotiate this deal in a chat room? ;)

    sorry... bad hangover.
  • Dalnet's updated their webpage [dal.net] explaining the joke for those who didn't get it . . .
  • I look forward to using "Logical Manor" technology on my home page.
  • You call Linux-Bashing news decent?
  • Which part gives it away? The part where they misspell "manner" or the part where they refer to "America Online" as "American Online"?

    Couldn't they have had someone edit their phony press release before throwing it on a Web site?

    Wait, who am I kidding? Editing and Web site in the same sentence? hahahaha

  • That was what I read on first glance...
    Bleargh!
    --
  • its arse you stupid fool!
    i very much doubt he owns an ass, being a goat

    for now though, all your foot are belong to us
  • The scary thing is that DALNet is so fascist,
    that this story is almost believable. =/
  • I still like the AF's joke they did where they change all the server names, -that- was priceless.
  • Here are two system messages from dal.net... sorry i don't have the logs for the time, but it was around 11PM PST..

    (frink) [Server message to tsunami.* users] We invite all tsunami users who are curious about AOL's purchase of DALnet to ask questions in #aolnet. Visit http://www.dal.net/ for more info.

    then later...

    (crystalize) Welcome back to DALnet, and yes, APRIL FOOLS!

    So those of you too stupid/worried, it's a fscking joke... mkay?
  • I fell for this one at first but then about 10 minutes after I posted the "story" to slashdot the IRCOps kicked out a global message assuring everyone that it was just an april fools joke. A good one at that.
  • It is a sad day when AOL realizes it's ultimate dream: AOL becomes "the Internet."
  • Microsoft and AOL hate each other. It is much more likely that AOL will release AOL for Linux, or even a whole AOL-Linux distribution.

    I believe that the only thing keeping them from this is the fear that they will lose their coveted spot in the "Online Services" folder on a default Windows install. Most of the Windows users I know purchased a computer just so they could get on AOL, which is what they all call the Internet.

    -b

  • OO - Today, AOL announced their intent to acquire "DULLnet", a well-known back-runner in the lucrative and rapidly expanding Irc space.

    "We just couldn't ignore this chance to add to our lameness", Heywood Jablowme, CTO of pointlessness at America Online commented Thursday. "The percentage of chat traffic containing 'leet' and 'K-R4d' speech on AOL's networks should now increase dramatically.

    "Who cares, anyway?", drinkypoo, a well-known karma whore declared. "It's all a bunch of wanx0rz and b1tch3z anyway. Now if they got fdfnet, at least they'd be getting something useful.


    --
    ALL YOUR KARMA ARE BELONG TO US

  • by phoxix ( 161744 )
    its a really good thing that EFnet doesn't believe in the idea of ownership ...

    so they will never sell out ...

    which explains why they don't have chanserv or nickserv ... or anything

    just my 2 cents ...

  • Fire for fire :-)

    But it does raise a good point. A0L are evil.


    To quote A0L's CEO when asked about the Mozilla project: "All your source are belong to us"
  • Yes, it was a joke, etc. However I thought it was a reasonable effort for 2 hours notice. Next year, if anyone has any better idea's we'd love 'em.
  • ...AOL simply didn't have enough porn or warezd00ds. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

    I'll be really worried when they try to buy UnderNet...

  • I hope others besides I have realized the danger AOL is presenting in our information world today. I would go as far as to say that they present an equal or greater threat than Microsoft. Something has to be done to stop them! It has to start with us. Start teaching your buddies IRC, ween them off AIM. Show people how to search on the net instead of depening on AOL's system. Simple efforts like this can keep AOL from turning into a monopoly giant like MS has been for so long.
  • So, AOL purchases DALnet, does that DALnet will Akill itself the next time they decide to Akill AOL?
  • APRIL FOOLS EVERYONE!@$

    Yeah, well, since I'm probibly the only person on the list who WORKS for AOL/TW, I figure I might as well put my 2 cents in.
    NO!#$ aol is not buying dalnet, if AOL wanted an irc network, they'd build their own. For christ's sake, they probibly have more bandwidth and a higher usercount than ANY isp in the world.
    anyhow, I'm outtie.
  • Hahahah we got you guys! Get it?? Ha Ha!
  • /query NickServ /query ChanServ Heehee :o)
  • Actualy I was refering to the bit about the bots... I had not noticed the errors...

  • I personally found it funny (and a bit of a tipoff) how when first someone posted a link to DALNet's website (on Dalnet)that I followed, it was 11 pm Eastern time on March 31, 4 hours before it would become April 1st in San Diego, which is the date and location on the letter ;)
    Also, I agree with other people that 90% of AOL users don't know what IRC even is, so AOL would have no reason to buy it.
  • First april fools joke of the day to really give me a laugh!

    disc-chord
  • AOL instead of the internet already? At this pace, they'll own every ISP and internet service in under 3 years!

    -MR
  • www.observers.net [observers.net] also pulled off a similar stunt today:

    VIENNA, April 1, 2001 - Observers.Net (http://www.observers.net) announced today that it has been sold to internet giant America Online (http://www.aol.com) for an undisclosed amount of money. America Online, one of the worlds largest international internet service providers has been negotiating with the Observers.Net for over 8 months



    Hehehe
  • by noz ( 253073 )
    I guess now is a good time to register the nick 'AOL_TW_BLOWS' to a 'user@aol.com' email address.
  • Press Release AOL withdraws its $1.5 million buy SAN DIEGO, April 1, 2001 - The DALnet IRC Network (http://www.dal.net), a leader in Internet Chat, announces that those who believed the previous press release have just been had. It's my pleasure to thank all those who were involved in todays April 1st joke, we certainly had a large number of people going. I'd like to thank taz for letting this go through, altering jade.* and services.*. frink for his servers and the short lived dalnet.*, as well as countless other opers and helpers making it be believable. Special thanks goes out to maloy, Gotharial, taz, Melech, Wuher and Psionic for support and ideas. Let me make this perfectly clear. America Online has not bought DALnet, never had any intent to, nor have any secret discussions been going on. This was simply an April Fool's joke. It would be appreciated if all the joke AOL things that have been created, could be cleared up quickly to avoid confusion. Thank you, Peter/Doc_Z.

    --
    Tres_Status
  • What people want - and especially those on irc - is a network without censorship and restrictions. This will only make people chosing some other network.
  • All your communications are belong to us.
  • The DalNet site has revealed the extent of the preparations taken to foist this one on us all.
  • Watch out, people. It's April 1st. This may not be true.
  • How do you know this comment is not an April Fools joke?


  • You are lacking certain skills applicable to real life as is this person [slashdot.org].

    Employment was mentioned in that thread as well. I think you'd fit right in there [marchfirst.com].
  • ... there's always an option. =)

    slashdot.org/articles/99/02/12/1243255.shtml

  • The theory of selling an IRC "network" is not really funny. Considering the boxes aren't owned by the network the daemon is connected to. But hey, whatever floats your bored butt's boat. (Say that 5 times fast for an April Fool's joke, its funnier.)
  • Heck, it wasn't SlashNet.

    Wait, that's the NEXT story, right?
    ---
    pb Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate [ncsu.edu].
  • Come on, people, the M&A jokes just don't work. An announcement on a sunday? get real. Besides, the joke is at least a few years old.
  • I say it's a prank, albeit a fairly restrained and subtle one.
  • The average AOL user can't survive in IRC.
  • In case anyone is left wondering, here it is from the horse's mouth: http://www.dal.net

    Minupla
    --
    Remove the rocks to send email
  • Looks like we have our first fool.
  • No, I think it's Tim who fell for the prank.

    Let's wait to hear what excuses are offered.


  • No you haven't. The Register [theregister.co.uk] pretty much beat everyone on the net to the April Fool's pranks. Their fool was posted sometime in the evening of March 31.

    AND they preempted every single "large company buys unlikely competitor" joke this year. The Register, overdoing it, and overdoing it well.
  • That would be the inteligent(sic) thing to ask yourself.

    The writing on this thing alone sounds like someone who has spent way too much time on DALnet or AIM. While the 'suits' may make decisions this dumb, they probably use better spelling and grammar.

  • Don't you know what day it is?
  • Ha Ha! April Fools!

    My god this got old quickly...

  • I'm amused at the plan to replace admins with bots that would "respond in a logical manner." Would this include IRCops, too? Somehow I doubt that AOL's AI technology is THAT good.

    Ethidium

    "If you don't be nice I'll say you're not omnipotent!"
    --Laura Lutz, 11/8/99
  • SAN DIEGO, April 1, 2001 - The DALnet IRC Network (http://www.dal.net), a leader in Internet Chat, announces that those who believed the previous press release have just been had.

    It's my pleasure to thank all those who were involved in todays April 1st joke, we certainly had a large number of people going. I'd like to thank taz for letting this go through, altering jade.* and services.*. frink for his servers and the short lived dalnet.*, as well as countless other opers and helpers making it be believable. Special thanks goes out to maloy, Gotharial, taz, Melech, Wuher and Psionic for support and ideas.

    Let me make this perfectly clear. America Online has not bought DALnet, never had any intent to, nor have any secret discussions been going on. This was simply an April Fool's joke. It would be appreciated if all the joke AOL things that have been created, could be cleared up quickly to avoid confusion.

    Thank you,

    Peter/Doc_Z.

    --
  • It's clearly an April Fool's joke. Come on guys, wake up. Have some coffee.
  • AOL needs to learn how to share. I acknowledge that this may be an April Fools joke, which I hope it is. But if not... Damn AOL. They need to stop buying up every line of Internet communication. Big Brother is upon us. I wonder when Microsoft will get into the game. "AOL Time-Warner Microsoft"? I mean, Microsoft has practically built the AOL OS with Windows XP.
  • AOLNET will require programs created by AOL as AIM requires?

    Will our IRC clients work on DALNet next year? Next 6 months? Or will AOL require you to have AOL software and have an active account on AOL?

    DanH
    Cav Pilot's Reference Page [cavalrypilot.com]
  • this is a joke. It even mentions that AOL wants to make Dalnet a more family enviornment by getting rid of the porn and warez etc. Now anyone who has chatted on dalnet since...well at least 5 years ago, knows that Dalnet without porn, illegal software, mp3s and solicitations for cybersex; is infact - well not much at all. A network with no one on it:)
  • Included in America Online's many plans is improved filtering to help DALnet restore it's image as a "Family Network", helping to cut down the amount of pornography and illegal software distribution. Part of America Online's promise is a software development team from their Virginia, USA headquarters to help develop a more efficient and stable IRC daemon.

    NOOOOOOOO!!!! Not my warez, porn, and bootleg movies! That's the whole point of DALnet.

    America Online also has plans to replace the position of administrators with automated inteligence bots that respond in a logical manor. These bots will be able to provide more "services" for the average user. American Online has not yet disclosed it's long term plans for DALnet once it has been acquired. We plan to bring you further information as it develops.

    Riiiiiiiiight...... I think this gives this away as a joke...

  • Of course, that was before AOL Version 6.0, which any one who can breathe on their own, and has at least 2 fingers can use. IMHO, services like AOL are making today's computer consumer even dumber than they were before using them.
  • first, let me be clear. this is a troll.

    that having been said, was there every any difference? DALnet has always been the aol of the chat world. this is simply some money swapping hands. everyone, go to efnet (or whatever).

    My .02,

  • So DalNet is now a property of AOL.
    Maybe AOL will finally IRCize its chat rooms. MSN did it years ago, although script kiddies forced it to go Java. But that's like AOL improving its service, which is something they wouldn't do.
    Its a nice though, but the AOLers would have no clue how to use a IRC chat room.
  • by FrostedWheat ( 172733 ) on Sunday April 01, 2001 @07:22AM (#323164)
    News just in: AOL entered into takeover negotiations with AOL today. The reason, they already own everything else.

    This is *very* bad news, DALnet has been my network of choice for a long time now. I have a lot of very good friends there. The second I start getting AOL sanctioned SPAM I will never connect to them again.

    I will take this opportunity to plug a great new network I've been using lately, Sorcery.net [sorcery.net]. The services there kick DAL's butt anyday.

    But how long till AOL get there dirty little hands there to?

  • by Anonymous Coward on Sunday April 01, 2001 @07:11AM (#323165)
    REDHAT MAKES PROFIT!!!

    April fools! Gotcha!
  • by Sc00ter ( 99550 ) on Sunday April 01, 2001 @07:41AM (#323166) Homepage
    Dalnet is run by independnet people all over the net. There's nothing to buy except the name perhaps.

    See here [dal.net]

    You can apply to have your server be on DALNet, and how can AOL buy that??
    --

  • by MrHat ( 102062 ) on Sunday April 01, 2001 @07:23AM (#323167)
    America Online also has plans to replace the position of administrators with automated inteligence bots that respond in a logical manor. These bots will be able to provide more "services" for the average user.

    Although I'm sure automated bots indeed could provide better service than your average AOL administrator, this does appear to be an April Fool's joke.

    And, it's quite possibly the first one of the day that hasn't been completely stupid.


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