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2b Or !2b: Shakespeare TxtMsg Contest 159

FortKnox writes "Reuters has an article on a contest for the most aspiring text message. It has to be under 160 characters, because it follows the trendy text-messaging for modern mobile phones. Most people will try to make long quotes with abbreviations and numbers and such to bring it down to the appropriate length."
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2b Or !2b: Shakespeare TxtMsg Contest

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  • by Anonymous Coward
    for (i = 0; i < you->base.count; i++)
    you->base[i]->belonger = this;
  • by Anonymous Coward
    Back in the days when old-school pagers were around that could only handle numbers people in Japan were using 1337 speak to message people everyday.

    For example to say "let's go to see a movie" could be expressed as 818 321504, which can be pronounced, "eiga miniikouyo"

    In Japanese...
    8='hachi' or in english 'eight'
    1='ichi' or in 'one' or it looks like the katakana character which is pronouned 'E'
    8=it can also be read 'ga' in this case. no idea why.
    3=pronounced 'san' or 'mitsu' so, in this case, 'mi'
    2='ni' or 'hutatsu' so we use 'ni'
    1=like the katakana character for 'E' again.
    5='go' or 'itsutsu' in this case, we use go, which is the same character for 'ko' minus just one " looking thing.
    0=it looks like English 'O' so it's pronounced like that in this case.
    4='yon', or 'shi', so in this case we just take the first part, 'yon' and reduce it to yo.

    Oh my Gott.
    I can't believe I can explain this. Japanese is insane. I also can't believe people could understand this stuff, let alone write it fluently.

    Now everyone has cell phones that have full text messaging support so there is little need for this method anymore. Though most people still remember it.

  • by Anonymous Coward
    While I am all for motivating people to come up with new poems and/or types of poetry, that is not what this contest does. Playing with not only language but with syntax, capitalizations, and even symbols has been around for awhile, just check out any good poetry mag or even (for a simpler version) go find an e.e. cummings anthology. However, if nothing else comes of this perhaps people will finally learn how to send intelligable messages in very few characters. -- Fear the Tactical Toddlers! []
  • It is unfortunate that you have to be a subscriber in order to submit poetry. I have a good one but not only do I not subscribe, but I live about 6000 Km out of range.
  • Can a text message be aspiring?
  • #!/usr/bin/perl
    tell HORATIO; length(hevN+Rth) > philosophy->dreams;

    Oh, this wasn't a perl poetry contest? Sorry...

  • P: FUNEX?
    W: VFX
    P: FUNEM?
    W: VFM
    P: OK, MNX!

    argh, I'm not using too many caps, they're all acronyms! or at least phonetic acronyms... hmm

  • I dunno. It'd make me smile.

    #!/usr/bin/perl -w
    use strict; foreach (qw(31267 31260 31258 31261 31305 31240 31239
    31238 31261 31233 31244 31259 31305 31258 31242 31259 31232 31257
    31261 31305 31234 31232 31245 31245 31232 31244)){local $_ = $_^ 31337;
    ($_ = chr)=~ tr/stie/5713/; print;}print chr(10);

    _14k4 ( - [])

  • Can the text be in the Chinese characters?

    A 160-characters piece in the Chinese language is no longer a short text, and A LOT can be said with 160 characters.

    Therefore, let me repeat my question - Can the text be in the Chinese characters ???

  • by ocie ( 6659 ) on Thursday March 29, 2001 @03:27PM (#329021) Homepage
    /* Hamlet_monologue.c
    * William Shakespeare
    * (C) 1595 Globe company software

    /* Compose this operation from arithmatic of the signed nature. Thusly -1 resounds as more ominous than doth 255 W.S. */

    signed char question=(0x2b | ~0x2b);

    int n1=nobility(suffering_slings & suffering arrows);
    int n2=nobility(taking_arms & opposing_to_end);

    /* Though this nobility score be calculated, meethinks that the optimizer shall remove it anon, for it does find no utility in the code W.S. */
    int comparison=n1>n2;

    rub(); /* There's the rub */
    pause(); /* give us pause */

    /* If Bacon thinks I shall share these codes with him, he doth have another thing coming. W.S.

    All Thine Sonnet are belonging to us */

  • I wanted to set up a company called this but could never truly validate the acronymical nature of it. maybe it would work better as a zeitgeistical sms:


    I'd love to pick up the phone and answer "hello, four queue!"

    i want 1% if that goes anywhere.
  • But | is a bitwise operator. Since 2b doesn't represent a bitmask, bitwise-or'ing it is nonsensical.
  • by unsung ( 10704 )
    this stuff gives me a headache.
  • Have a look here [], and you'll become enlightened. In short: it's from an introduction to a game that went through a lousy translation into English.

  • Okay, MENSA members are smart. They know this, now what makes up the other 5%? Idiot Savants? Liars? Who knows.. Who Knows..

  • There once was a man on his phone
    Who could not wait 'til he got home
    HIs email he read
    "It's important!" he said
    'Til his car toward a semi did roam
  • From: (Andrew Arensburger - RMS)
    Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
    Date: 8 Feb 92 00:30:05 GMT

    whereis biff? crypt at source. biff cut yacc tail, yacc cut biff finger.
    "awk!," sed biff.
    "ar, ar!" sed yacc.
    ksh, bash! man cut head, kill yacc at last, make strings.
    exit crypt, find mail from su. od. "date? yes." biff find su nice.
    make time, date. find su at wall. tee, talk.
    ed: "tip: find jobs, biff."
    "yes, make tar," sed biff.
    su, biff date more: touch, strip, sleep.
    "su, inetd perl," sed biff.
    "yes!" sed su.
  • There's an old joke(?) that goes something like this:

    [written on paper]
    Translate this hillbilly conversation:
    MR Ducks
    MR Not
    CM Wangs
    MR Ducks

    What does this say?

    The answer is left as an exercise for the reader...

    Somehow, this seems rather similar to SMS.

  • by leperjuice ( 18261 ) on Thursday March 29, 2001 @02:27PM (#329032)
    That should be

    2b || !2b

    (well, for programmers at least)

  • ... if I note that James Taylor had a song entitled BSUR,SUCSIMIM
  • /me breaks down on his knees and begins to cry.
    Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow.
  • I'll be honest: I never saw that post ;). You are right, however, that is the "proof" that I used as a basis. I learned of it four years ago in a high-school class. Best teacher I ever had ;).

    Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow.
  • >
    > I can't wait until colleges begin offering
    > AOLSpeak 101.

    Yay! Time for a rant. Divert your eyes if you are sensetive to ranting and raving.

    I am in a third year systems analyst course at an unnamed (*coughSheridancoughCollegecough*) Canadian College. I don't expect my classmates to be brilliant computer wonders who eat design and shit code. However, I am at a loss to describe the level of illeteracy in our entire group. With a few exceptions, the average person in our class has a literacy level of about grade 9. It's disgusting to think that we will graduate in December and these people can barely read and write english (let alone program, document, or design solutions). The college is very well respected for it's animation and illustration departments (Disney and ILM take most of our anim/illus grads) and has a decent reputation for it's computer schools. What I fear is that my class will get out into the workforce and, for all intensive purposes, smear the name of the College and destroy anything my diploma will stand for.

    The Slashdot crowd would enjoy some of the phrases these people have come up with in a recent report. It makes the "all your base are belong to us" look like Shakespiere in comparison. I'm not great at english (lord knows I can barely spell at times) and I don't really expect that. But they have no ideas, no opinions, no ambition, no goals, no desire, and possess nothing to offer the IT industry.

    Worse yet, I see and hear everyday that I am not alone - schools across the country are experiencing the exact same thing. People are coming into "computer techology / IT" courses simply because they are told they will be successful. We now have the illeterate drop-out Bill Gates wannabe's - minus the business savvy and intelligence.

    Being a systems analyst is all about communication - the ability to design and document new systems. I fear that the majority of people in my course do not possess anything close to this and should have left a long time ago.

    I've tried working with them. I've tried helping them. I've tried pushing them. I've tried encouraging them. Nothing works.

    Worse yet is that I am forced to do projects with them. I want to be proud of my submissions and I end up doing all of the work - including their work would be equivlant to smearing fecal matter over my work. I'm not perfect - I am trying to learn. These people, however, are only here for the money and it's pissing me off.

    See? I warned you. ;-)

    Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow.
  • You're right. I never said I was perfect and I know I make a lot of mistakes. I'll quote some of their work for your amusement.

    "There is a risk that people will choose other companies over our company that's why it is important to advertise our corporation the best way we can to attract businessees or individual to us."

    "If we want to hire a person for programmer position then minimum qualification would be Diploma or Degree and minimum of 6 months experience in the relative field."

    "The key people within our business are basically the four co-owners of the business."

    "Our products will primarily be produced within Software Solutions building. Packaging is as simple as placing the CD in a box with the appropriate documentation contained." [note: this one REALLY gets me because they NEVER explain who creates the documentation or the software. Our fictional company would develop software and documentation internally and sell that to clients.]

    I had to re-write a 40 page report in less than a day - including researching potential competition, market trends, costs, etc. Even worse, it took them 4 weeks to write that bullshit (and there is A LOT more where that comes from).

    Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow.
  • note: Three third year college students wrote almost 10 pages of that crap. The worst thing about it is there is no substance to their work.

    It's fustrating to do the work of four people.
    Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow.
  • Hmm, lets see.

    15c to send a text message "Will be home late"

    $4.50 to call and tell her, plus you interrupt the meeting you're in and the boss tells you not to bother coming back and you can't afford your mobile phone because you have no job to pay the overpriced bills.

    Real difficult choice there...


  • You are fired. Pack your bags.
  • Shouldn't that be '2b | !2b'?

    $_ = $q.

    Kevin Fox
  • by KFury ( 19522 )
    private $h1, $h2;
    $h1.dignity eq $h2.dignity;
    (civil) $hands.taint((civil) $blood);

    And so on...

    Kevin Fox
  • If we want to get technical about it, (2b | !2b) would always be equivilant to true, as 2b is either true or false, and if it's false, then its opposite is true. So the whole thing simplifies to True (or '1').

    Perhaps a more accurate way to convey Hamlets intent is:

    switch $2b
    case true: (blahblah from speech)
    case flase: (blahblah from speech)

    Or, even shorter:


    Kevin Fox
  • by KFury ( 19522 ) on Thursday March 29, 2001 @02:39PM (#329044) Homepage
    "I believe it's actually supposed to be '2b || !2b"

    Actually, 2b | !2b is more accurate. '||' denotes a short-circuit 'or' which means that if 2b is true, it won't examine !2b for validity.

    I believe that Hamlet's strife is that he saw the merits in both possibilities, and so an accurate representation would necessitate him evaluating both 2b and !2b before reaching a conclusion.

    Kevin Fox
  • There is an easier explanation. Maybe the poll was taken among a group where 95% of the population was above the overall average intelligence. Maybe it was a MENSA meeting, maybe it was Harvard freshmen orientation.

  • I believe it's actually supposed to be

    2b || !2b
  • aspiring, or inspiring? inspiring text messages I can do, aspiring ones take a little longer.
  • Insanely funny link (yes I Know it's offtopic)
  • Do people not realize how ridiculous it is that what is considered the coolest new feature on mobile phones is a cheap little short text mesage function?

    It's a PHONE, for god sakes. What's wrong with actually using the NUMBER BUTTONS on the phone and using them to CALL people??? I guess voice is soo 20th century.

  • As soon as someone gets DeCSS down to 160 bytes [], I think we have a winner. Just put that on your speed-dial and start sending to RIAA members. Anyone have their phone numbers?
  • Duh. Of course I meant MPAA, not RIAA. I can't keep my evil empires straight today.
  • I have to respond. Computerland doesn't say that "true" equals "1". Very often you are right, but not always. Second: a "1" in a computer can be optimized to 0 Volt, locally that is.

    I think I have the right to say that the Hamlett quote is reduced to "0". Which is true off course...
  • 'cos you don't have to speak to the other person. Communication yes, but not too much. It is like writing notes to each other in class. SMSing can be handy when you can't talk.
  • The usual trick is to have ssh listen on a higher port (i.e. 2200) and connect to that, rather than 22... that or you need to run it through a SOCKS server... if you have one avaialable...

  • More of a quantum superposition thing...

    Maybe Hamlet is the cat!
  • Haven't seen a cell phone w/ Chinese language support yet...
  • Of course you're totally wrong for the ~ and ! operators. !true is always false. ~true is only false in one case, since true is defined to be any integer that is not false (or nonzero).
  • L = elle
    HO = a chaud
    OQ = au cul

    She's got hotness of the ass. (I translated that literally to show my disrepect).
  • Just wanted to say that AOLiza was brilliant. If you ever want a kid named after you, just say the word.

  • errr.. 2b is not a valid variable, so bb is better, besides that, bb||!bb == 1, which is 6 characters smaller, as well and a very inspiring u2 song.
  • I think I'll head over to []
    obfuscated code on perlmonks and see if I can dig up some winning entries.
  • "#define question (BB) || !(BB)" -- Shakespeare

  • Is it bb or not 2b?
  • 5 bucks for whoever can implement the deCSS algo in that space!
  • It's a phone! If you want to communicate with someone CALL THEM!!!! I don't need no stinking WAP or texting on my phone - I can talk to people (remember that?).

  • In my experience, no, they're are nothing but a huge pain in the ass. I've turned mine off, it'll almost always attempt 'predict' the most incorrect word possible, and then if you continue typing it'll just spit out rubbish ... (for those with Nokia's, you can turn it off permantly by turning off the dictionary in the 'message composition' section).

    Some brands have little keypads that attach to the bottom (kind of like those fold out keyboards for palm pilots), but I really don't see SMS becoming all that relevant once 3G/Wap/bluetooth, comes into widespread use.
  • Suppose that b is false: the question is "true". If b is true, the question is "true". Either way, the question is true, so the better substitution is simply: 1.
  • There are times when the written form is better than an oral message. be that the reservation-number for the movie-tickets your going to pick up, the url for something, or whatever. saves you from remembering it or having to call back to get it verified. k
  • no no no like this: al yr bse r blng 2 us
  • ppl r idiots
    take advantage of it
  • Oh well, I gotta join in the fray...


    Disclaimer: This is not original!

  • Somebody mod this one back up. This is very much on topic for text messenging such as this. Many people do this in their cars, and it is almost as much as a hazard as drunks on the roads.

    As one example: 00 /1166267.stm
  • by niekze ( 96793 ) on Thursday March 29, 2001 @02:48PM (#329073) Homepage
    R U D 1 2 C 4 A B J? --- send that to enough ladies, and you'll eventually find a taker.
  • surely that should read >16 not /16 ??

  • ahhhh...of course, I read it "divided by", not "over".

    Thanks *looks sheepish*
  • by zpengo ( 99887 ) on Thursday March 29, 2001 @02:31PM (#329076) Homepage
    The most ambitious text message is simply "1 4m 2 3r337 4 u" and "1 0wn j00" interspersed with large numbers of !'s and 1's.
  • 2b || !2b
    (well, for programmers at least)

    Yes, but I wouldn't make much sense to the sysadmin.

    'to be pipe pipe not to be'? Is that some kind of dirty talk or something?


  • Prison only in thought.
    Our minds are the only confine.
    Let your code be free.
  • wrongo... here's a corrected one. *blush*
    It comes from trying to recite from memory, and not checking your originals...


    Prison just in thought.
    Our minds are but a confine.
    Let your code be free.
  • An optimised version. (When not trusting coimpilers...)
  • Oops, subject line was mangled... don't we just love HTML filters! :))

    Here it is again:

    #define QUESTION(b) ((b)>>1 | ~((b)>>1))
  • % gdb
    (gdb) p 0x2b|~0x2b
    $1 = -1
  • How much more inspiring can you get than the answer to life, the universe and everything --- 42.

  • English is too difficult for American programmers.
    -- Things I Learned from Watching Slashdot
  • by mr_gerbik ( 122036 ) on Thursday March 29, 2001 @02:28PM (#329085)
    "This is a new literary form and it must be left to define its own parameters,'' the Guardian said.

    I can't wait until colleges begin offering AOLSpeak 101.

  • I suppose that with the Coles' notes and other things, this was the next logical step.

    I'm going to go memorize all of the digits of pi now. I'll be back when I'm finished

    "I do not suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it"

  • by susano_otter ( 123650 ) on Thursday March 29, 2001 @03:14PM (#329087) Homepage
    in 2001 contest was bginning
    what happn
    somebody set up us da bmb
    we get signl
    phone screen trn on
    how r u gentlemen
    all your trendy txtmsg r belng 2 us
    what u say
  • I know someone who has an email domain:

    He says it's a type of queue.

  • I find predictive text input very handy indeed, and very fast too - I get about 20 wpm which, while slow compared to typing on a normal qwerty keyboard (about a quarter my normal typing speed) is still much much faster than the traditional phone text input. I can write a full-length 160-character text message in about 2 minutes, and need not use confusing abbreviations. It even gets the sentence capitalisation right automatically. :)

    Admittedly, it does take a bit of getting used to - it took me about 10 messages before I really got the hang of it, but then... how long did it take you to learn to type efficiently?

    One other thing to watch out for is the specific implementation of predictive text input - I find the Motorola version substantially better than the implementation on Nokias, as it provides a list of its best predictions in a line at the bottom of the screen that can be selected using the left/right or up/down keys, and it also automatically learns new words rather than having to manually add them to the dictionary.
  • Don't be dumb

    BT Cellnet > BT Cellnet off peak = 2p/minute
    Text message = 10p

    I can talk for 2.5 minutes or send 160 characters
    for the same price

    Which is preferable?
    The Master Of Muppets,
  • by ayjay29 ( 144994 ) on Thursday March 29, 2001 @03:32PM (#329093)
  • They sound like perfect PHB material to me. Dilbert would be terrified.
  • From the submission:
    Reuters has an article on a contest for the most aspiring text message.
    From []:
    Aspire []: To have a great ambition or ultimate goal; desire strongly
    So, who's going to be writing the self-modifying text message? I can't think of any other type of message that could be considered 'ambitious.'

    Then again, maybe the person just meant inspiring.
  • 2b || !2b

    Actually, since X || !X is always true since at least one of those must be true, you could shorten it to:


    The AOL-Time Warner-Microsoft-Intel-CBS-ABC-NBC-Fox corporation:
  • no - it was hypothetical

    Tell me what makes you so afraid
    Of all those people you say you hate

  • 2b or !2b is not very l34t-speak.

    it should be: 2b||!2b
    and while we are at it, that mathematically equels "true"
    which in computer land is "1"
    so there you have it, the infamous Hamlett quote reduced to "1"

  • Maybe Slash should have it's own contest.

    And change the allowed length of the sig to match. What's forty more characters?

    Check out the Vinny the Vampire [] comic strip

  • Actually, Hamlet's quote reduces even more, and much more elegantly, to one qubit!


  • You can send text messages in meetings, or on the train, or ... anywhere talking is too loud. I find it pretty darn useful.
  • Here's his proposal:

    For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.

    Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.

    Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

  • by agentZ ( 210674 ) on Thursday March 29, 2001 @02:46PM (#329117)
    The actual Guardian article [] is on-line and has some of today's submissions, plus the official rules and some hints.
  • That should be

    2b || !2b

    (well, for programmers at least)

    Not for Perl programmers.

    (Dare I say it? I dare, I dare...)
  • I believe that Hamlet's strife is that he saw the merits in both possibilities, and so an accurate representation would necessitate him evaluating both 2b and !2b before reaching a conclusion.

    In other words, it would evaluate to false no matter what, since he doesn't yet know the answer to either question when he asks them.

    That's deep, man!
  • From the article: aspiring "tele-poets"

    Poets aspire.

    Words inspire.

    Athletes perspire.

    Warranties expire.

    Sears tower no longer tallest because it lacks a spire. []
    D. Fischer
  • Well, for programmers, 2b || !2b should be
    TRUE || FALSE // with TRUE and FALSE defined elsewhere

    which basically turns into


    which, for most compilers, becomes just a block with name scoping.

    "Moderate down and we'll get your balls in Meta-Moderate."

  • Actually, the use of an "OR" in that statement is n't so much right. Hamlet's contemplating suicide during that soliloquy, so "XOR" is much more appropriate - you have to choose life or death, they're mutually exclusive. That's one of the problems with English, we use "or" in speech to two different things.
  • Here are some handy ways to abbreviate things. ! = not, duh. + = most, max, plus, very, etc. - = least, min, minus, etc. = more @ = at. d = the e = he # = number ^ = carrot & = and ~ = tilde ? = huh, question, etc. \. = slashdot | = pipe for hard words remove vowels and double consonants and such. [] = box : = colon ; = prefix semi like ;cndctr = semiconductor x = no g = GEE! o = oh p = pee $ = money 2 = to, too 8 = ate 6 = sex Use acronyms as much as possible.
  • We go ahead and minimize the whole English language? We've already got /., and everyone likes perl.
    A few suggestions:
    spm = spam
    fstp = first post (fp is taken - "floating point")
    ayb1 = All your base are belong to us.
    $M = Microsoft is a horrible, money grabbing useless institution.
    L! = Linux is a wonderful, beutiful thing.
    CTO = Commander Taco
    Hemos = well...its already pretty short.
    ILB = I like beans.
    YCUAL = you can't have any until later
    HN/DTA = Have some now, but don't tell anyone

    We could also use verbs as operands...
    For example - kills = k
    kL!$M - Linux, the wonderful, beautiful thing kills Microsoft the horrible, money grabbing institution.

    Of course, we could, I don't know...just zip it up and unzip it? Its not like zip is a difficult protocol to implement on a palm...
  • wise
    When I was a buddhist my friends, and parents were angry at me. When I was buddha, no one was upset at all. -- unknown zen master

    I'm never in a rush to get to where I'm going, sooner or later, I'm bound to get there. -- sil @ antioffline (myself biatch!)

    say it again sam
    John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. -- Analogies you probably won't find in
    Great Literature []

    hoochies like a mo' fo []
  • if they could make a phone where, instead of just reading text messages from people, you could actually somehow talk to the person on the other end. Hey, waitaminute.....
  • by ez76 ( 322080 ) <<su.67e> <ta> <todhsals>> on Thursday March 29, 2001 @02:31PM (#329162) Homepage
    I suppose this contest is intended to prove that wireless messaging is a legitimate medium, in that it is neither rare nor well done.

I came, I saw, I deleted all your files.