Slashdot is powered by your submissions, so send in your scoop


Forgot your password?
It's funny.  Laugh.

IT Olympics 105

Darrell Estabrook wrote to us about IT Olympics, a satirical look at what the Olympics would be like in the IT world. Pretty amusing - and timely, although listening to some of the Olympic announcers is comical in its own right. [Update by nik] I've s/com/org/ in the URL. And on a related theme, the Usenet Olympics are always worth a laugh, ditto the Spam Olympics.
This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

IT Olympics

Comments Filter:
  • Hell, I'm still waiting for Olympics Newswire to report -

    "Spanish IOC Bigwig rushed home for Emergency Ethicsectomy
    - Sydney, AU 2000/09/18

    International Olympic Commitee chaiman What's-his-name was flown back to Madrid yesterday after his bulging wallet apparently sparked the growth of a vestigal concience. Doctors reported finding a "malignant growth" attached to his posterior regions. Rumors that this was merely a callous engendered by his over-full wallet were pooh-poohed by those in the know.

    "He actualy started feeling bad that he took all that money from the Aussies! Can you believe it?" commented another IOC member, who demanded to remain anonymous...."

  • It'd be really cool if there was more than just one silly page. This could be a whole project. I'd love to see some sort of real IT olympics, with contestants from various countries. We already have coding contests and such...why not go the extra mile, get some sort of Linux sponsor, and have a huge event!? :o)

  • I turned on for about 30secs last night. I didn't know whether to roll on the floor with laughter, or grab a bucket. I couldn't take anymore!

    What is the deal with the background music and the scripted commentary? I saw part of the women's Triathlon. Sure, they covered the American athlete, but they shouldn't have given her 95% coverage when she was 5 mins off the lead and 6th! They were going on about her heroic effort, digging deep, muscles burning, so heroic, our woman out there, a gigantic heroic effort. Okay, fine, but that applies to all the athletes. How about some commentary about the race as a whole? Men's gymnastics... 95% of the time covering the US team. Great! I haven't seen that mistakes at that level for a long time. It would have been nice to see the Russians or Chinese, and example of it's done properly. I saw some volleyball... they spent ages talking about the personal lives of the athletes, but didn't even mention the names of the Canadians that they were competing against. What happened to the Olympic coverage, and the sports? I don't want to see some documentary/bio of athletes, especially when there are better examples (just from another country).

    There is hope for those who live close the Canadian border, and it's called CBC. Saturday night for example, my girlfriend caught part of the women's gymnastics before the reception cut out... an hour later on NBC we saw a preview for Sunday night's coverage starring the women's gymnastics! Ridiculous!
  • Yo sucka, me and my team o' gymnastists will put the hurt on yo, fool!
  • Use the Preview Button! Check those URLs! Don't forget the http://!

    If there is a mistake, well, you should have used the Preview button!
  • Since the site isn't working, here's my thoughts:

    One of the local TV news stations here in Central PA has done some "Office Olympics". The events usually include stuff like office chair relay races and well, you get the idea. Anyway, that would be my idea of Tech olympics, partially anyway, because techs spend a lot of time in the office.
  • They did try to got computer games into the olympics IIRC. Failed though.

    To be honest I'd agree with them, even ping pong at Olympic standard requires a pretty high degree of physical fitness.

    This year the IT Olympics is a parody, next year you might be signing up to compete. And it will be bigger than the old sweaty olympics

    Even though I gave up caring a long time ago I'd say that would be a bad thing.

  • by Overt Coward ( 19347 ) on Monday September 18, 2000 @11:19AM (#771056) Homepage
    Absolutely... let's see, what could real events be...

    • Web Server Configuration: Starting with an x86 box with an empty hard drive, contestants attempt to turn it into a web server that serves up (committee-provided) dynamic web pages. Installation and configuration would have to be done within a specified time limit (could have "sprint" and "marathon" versions); the winner will be the one whose machine handles the most hits without drops or crashes. Allowed equipment: CDs of "stock" OS, applications, and development tools (including source, if desired).

    • Web Server Configuration (Matched Sprint): Same as above, but head-to-head competition to be the first to handle a predefined traffic load.

    • (Replace "Web-server" with firewall or DB server, again time limits or matched sprints to be measured against server metrics.)

    • Legacy code challenge: contestants will be given a program with little, no, or possibly contradictory documentation and will need to be the first to modify the program to either add a new feature or to fix an existing bug (event variations).

    • (Any ideas, folks?)

    IMPORTANT NOTE: Any competitor not testing positive for caffeine will be immediately disqualified.


  • ....although listening to some of the Olympic announcers is comical in its own right.

    My favorite from Atlanta was John Tesh announcing gymnastics.

    After the first competitor in any event, "That's the score to beat."

  • Longer than ""... D'Oh! Now they're coming after me!!!
  • A good thing Audi only uses four, or they'd have to recall all of the grill/steering wheel oraments...

  • Natalie Portman, nude on Ebay.

    Why would anyone pay $62 for this when you can buy a back issue from the publisher for $8?

  • Actually, Usenet events should be a part of this.

    We could add an event "Longest annoying ride on an annoying hobby-horse."

    Our contenders:

    Rahul Dhesi, of, in the "UUNet is a bigger and more unrepentant spammer than Cyberpromo ever hoped to be" category

    TBone, of, with his "Catch and Release is pure evil and kills fish and is bad" philosophy

    Mike Vandeman, of pretty much every rec.outdoors.* group, riding the hobby horse of "Mountain bikers should all be tortured to death."

    Unfortunately, we may need to disqualify everybody from every OS advocacy group and everybody who's ever complained about the moderator in rec.hunting.

  • There was a time when we could see all the lesser known sports on the CBC. Now, we just see the mainstream ones. I don't know about anybody else, but it peeves me off that I can only see fencing in the commercials.

    IIRC, no equestrian events are being shown in prime time either.

    I remember being able to see speed skiing in the winter Olympics in France in '92.

    Still, it's far better to be able to watch coverage that is (mostly) non-partisan - there are updates on Canadians, but they're not the only athleates competing. :)
  • Actualyn they use CSS not JavaScript. There isn't a single tag in the whole page that I could find.
    It's still a nasty compatability problem, they should set the font color in the tag for older browsers, but then that goes against to whole purpose of using CSS (separate style from content) so your damned if you do damned if you don't.
  • Half an hour? Oh boy. Here's an assignment that will make up for lost time (and probably teach you a thing or two as well).

    Go to Make a file and use it. Time limit: 15 minutes.

    Extra credit: Explain it.
    Extra extra credit: Don't use perl.
    (The above extra extra credit, of course, goes for anything you ever program!)

  • Competitors quickly come up with news articles as fast as possible, post them on slashdot, and then comment on them. The final score is then tabulated based on Karma(positive) and how many times each competitor was referred to as a "Karma Whore"(negative)

  • Really off topic, but regarding militia...

    According to the Constitution of the State of Arizona, Article 16 Section 1

    1. Composition of militia

    Section 1. The militia of the state of Arizona shall consist of all able-bodied male citizens of the state between the ages of eighteen and forty-five years, and of those between said ages who shall have declared their intention to become citizens of the United States, residing therein, subject to such exemptions as now exist, or as may hereafter be created, by the laws of the United States or of this state.

    So, all able bodied males from 18-49 are in the militia! How's that one grab ya!

  • Now guess WHY they only use four...


  • Just to support laziness, vote against the WWW in the WEB:) []
  • The difference in ratings between 1992 and 1996 can be mostly attributed to the time difference, and the fact the 1996 games were held in the US. At prime time in the US, it's the middle of the night in Barcelona.
  • I'll answer that question by simply using your off-topic, bleating post as Exhibit A. As I always say, let those who can, do.
  • 'Dumb' is relative. In the case of contributors like the one who responded to my post, its easiest to simply consider the source and thank that it at least (apparently) has the gift of opposable thumbs and tool-making capabilities. Judging from the content of its (f)lame as well as its other posts, it doesn't get invited to parties where members of the opposite sex are present, so it has to have something I guess.

    Slashdot's moderators apparently consider off-topic, personal attacks to be funny while modding down victimless humor. Slashdot's moderators apparently have their favorites and like to slap new posters in their precious little coterie around. Well, Slashdot and its moderators can bite me.

  • Overclocking: Obviously there should be an overclocking event. They should give the competitors some Packard-Bell shitbox and 15 minutes to convert the box into an overclocking dream rig, flourinert and all. Then stress test them at escalating speeds until they crash. For extra fun, they could be rigged to explode when they go over the limit...

    Equipment: whatever the team (Two Men? Invividual?) can carry onto the field.

    Bathroom Marathon: Each contestant must stay online and maintain baseline productivity - responding to web events, coding, debugging, etc. At any rate, they have to do more than cross their legs and vibrate. Every half-hour, they must drink a full can of Jolt. Whoever lasts the longest, wins.

    Equipment: Catheters might be a good idea, but then again they might detract from the TV/Webcast friendliness of the event (half crazed sprints for the exits, 'accidents', etc.)

    OS Medley: Have a series of ancient computers loded with ever obscure and quirky OS known to mankind (GeOS? Atari? etc, etc,). Have them try to complete some reasonably simple tasks , then race to the next station.

    Equipment: Noting but your noggin'.

  • Okay, what would the decathlon look like?

    <BadPun>Well, whatever the events are, the DECathalon would have to be done on old Digital computers...</BadPun>


  • ...ignoring the "oooooh-shiny-let's-buy-that"-driven directives from Upper Manglement*, installing systems that Do The Right Thing, and then trying to fool Upper Manglement that we did, in fact, buy the hideously overpriced piece of crap that they chose.

    That happens all the time, and should be in the Games.

    *Why the fsck are the VPs making decisions on what hardware will be run?
  • While the parody issue is certainly worth considering, I'm worried that that won't stop the IOC. They've already exceeded other bounds (such as restricting a trademark to a certain domain), so it's entirely possible that the fact that it's a parody won't deter them from going after these guys. Furthermore, the fact that it's a parody doesn't make them immune to strong-arm tactics, which the IOC certainly has the resources to employ.
  • The hilarius thing is that the picture on that page looks a lot like Deon Hemings. Defending champion in the women's 400 Meter hurdles.

    At least she wasn't demonstrating alongside the lesser members of the Jamaican team yesterday :)
  • At some point the law did provide for paradoy. But nowadays the law is on the side of whoever has the best paid lawyers. Anyone have the link for the PETA thing. I'm too lazy to find it just now. In any case this is what we have come to now.
  • by Tower ( 37395 ) on Monday September 18, 2000 @11:33AM (#771078)
    "The DLL Recognition event was
    canceled due to a GPF in the
    scoring server"

  • There is the annual ACM/IBM Programming Competition, Math Olympiad, and Physics Olympiad, aimed at students.

    Fun and nerdy!

  • Even better:

    HTTP Error 374

    Your bank account has been accessed, and it has
    been determined you have insufficient funds. We
    are sorry. Please upload some cash and try again.
  • How about an event where contestants are required to find and fix mangled DLL's in Win9x?
  • Why the fsck are the VPs making decisions on what hardware will be run?

    That's called "The Golden Rule", dude.

    You know, "Them what has the gold, makes the rules!"
  • Now, how long is it going to take for Bawls to become the 'official drink' of the IT olympics?
    or perhaps folgers as well?
  • But, believe it or not, Bridge is being considered as a demo "sport" for the 2002 Winter Olympics.

    See the referent in this article [] (about halfway down).
  • I hope there is not a law against satire. []
  • Geez, I was hoping that this was going to be a drug and scandal free Olympics. I'm not competing against some hacker artificially pumped up with caffeine, nicotine, and Hostess HoHo's.:-)
  • I'm not sure how old this is (the internic regsitry is up-to-date now) but here is the People Eating Tasty Animals website.
    PETA []
    It seems that at one time they had the "" domain name, but it was confiscated by our wonderful US government after some legal disputes with those <flame>animal rights wakkos</flame>


  • by Tower ( 37395 ) on Monday September 18, 2000 @11:46AM (#771088)
    Lone Sysadmin: You are given a Sun E450 (Solaris/ 100BaseT), an IBM RS/6k (AIX / Tokenring), an x86 (Linux / ATM), another x86 (Win2k / 10BaseT), and two C-64s (Ge/OS and CP/M / serial and joyport links). Make a usable network, with failover file, application and print sharing, basic webserver (CGI/PHP/ASP/LMNOP). Network will be stress tested by 15 guys named B!FF, who have the phone # to the server room. Hubs, switches, routers and cabling are in a box in the corner. There is a case of Mt. Dew under your desk, along with a registered copy of QuakeIIIA and UT.
  • Looks like one of the events should be fixing of the site.
  • No kidding

    A food store on the east coast got busted for offering "Olympic Sized Savings" in the newspaper.
  • The Olympics is a spectator sport. NBC paid big, big dollars for the right to cover the Olympics and display the Rings alongside the Peacock. NBC needs to recoup all of that money and then turn a profit. They do this by attracting television viewers. Television viewers are not entranced by dull events that no Americans will win. They will change the channel and watch a rerun of Sienfeld or M*A*S*H. Viewers want stories about people they can relate to, people they could imagine themselves being, if perhaps things had turned out differently. In the telling words of this excellent article about the coverage of the Atlanta Olympics [],

    " almost 50 percent of the audience of the Olympics doesn't normally watch sporting events. "

    and "Women want to get personal. They want warmly intimate stories, not athletic competition and cold hard scores."

    So there's your answer, if you choose to understand it. They're giving the viewer what she wants.

  • There is the annual ACM/IBM Programming Competition...

    Hunh. At first I read "...ICBM Programming...". Now there's an interesting event!

  • after reloading a few times I now realize this is just a joke.
  • Is the link bad? or did we Whack-a-mole the site already?
  • by interiot ( 50685 ) on Monday September 18, 2000 @09:49AM (#771095) Homepage
    My bet is that they get 36 hours before being served a notice from the IOC.

    Slashdot: 7/14/2000 - Olympic Committee Cracks Down On Domain Owners []

    Not to be the devil's sidekick. Just that any organization that can change US laws to gain exclusive use of a particular word in trademarks seems very evil. And given their past track record, they'll surely go after this one, right or wrong.

  • Is is just me or is this website being redirected to ? Looks like an unconfigured box from here.
  • by Other1 ( 154501 )
    how many cobalts you can buy?
  • by Tairan ( 167707 ) on Monday September 18, 2000 @09:46AM (#771098) Homepage is a placeholder for someone's Cobalt. Try []
  • How long before we see actual computer-based events? (Saw on Foxtrox the comic strip a few days ago, the school has a cyber-sports team... )
    A 'sport' has to be played in 4 continents before it will be in the olympics, which we now have, so why not? After all, they play ping-pong! :-)
  • Good advertising scheme for Cobalt! Redirect links posted to slashdot to their own new server advertisement.
  • by zlite ( 199781 ) on Monday September 18, 2000 @09:46AM (#771101)
    Tougher than it sounds, if this site's performance after being /.ed is anything to go on.
  • What is the world record for how fast a Beowolf server can run?
  • Quick Press: Hackers Thwarted at First Attempt
    *phew*, I thought somebody did hack it.
    dd if=/dev/random of=~/.ssh/authorized_keys bs=1 count=1024
  • But weren't the domains that the OC complained about commercial domains? This one is a parody site. I thought the law allowed for this type of distinction.
  • by askheaves ( 207302 ) on Monday September 18, 2000 @09:54AM (#771105)
    They may not be able to handle the traffic, but you gotta love those error messages:

    HTTP Error 02931
    Cannot complete requested action. There must be
    some reason, but who knows why.
    Please try again

    HTTP Error 834
    This is the error that broke our servers
    back. We will now have to go back and
    reboot everything.
    (Thanks a lot)

    HTTP Erro
    Microsoftie OLE DB Provider for ODBC
    Drivers error "80040e30"
    [Microsoftie][ODBC SQEL Server
    Driver][SQEL Server]What do you mean

    /article.asp, line 19

    An unknowing error has unknowlingly
    been accessed. Please go back and try

  • by Anonymous Coward on Monday September 18, 2000 @09:54AM (#771106)
    the boiling of hot grits and then pouring them down ones pants event. This has captivated people for many weeks now and it will be the most respected of the events.

    Thank You.
  • ...what this [] means?

    I kinda wondered when I saw the 'error msg' that with all the binary, but I figured it was just there to f*ck with our heads, because some of the bits are in groups of 9 and some in groups of 7... (click here [] and refresh a bunch if you're curious)
    ...but this [] page piqued my curiosity...
    anyone care to translate?

  • So, how long before the IOC sues them for daring to register a domain with the word 'olympics' in it without payaing the proper bribe?

    Oh, yeah, whoever though that black text on a dark blue background was a good idea needs to be shot, raised from the dead, and shot again - because obviously once isn't enough.

  • Yes. US Code Title 36, Chapter 17, Sec 380 [] says that the USOC can only go after people who use trademarks, etc, "for the purpose of trade, to induce the sale of any goods or services, or to promote any theatrical exhibition, athletic performance, or competition".

    That didn't stop the USOC for going after anyone and everyone with Olympic (or misspellings) in the domain name before. (article in TheStandard []).

  • It's been nearly an hour and the wrong url is still being displayed on the article. Do the editors just post a story and walk away, forgetting it was even there. Does any member of Slashdot even read the page anymore, or the comments? At least they got the url right on the submitter's email, just not the web page.
  • I wondered how long it would be before Secret Service agents stormed my apartment after registering and setting up a website called ""
  • but i know i'm still pumped from using the mouse...
  • Sure, they covered the American athlete, but they shouldn't have given her 95% coverage when she was 5 mins off the lead and 6th!

    You didn't know they were going to do that? Ever since Seoul '88, their coverage has been: "Look, there's an American! He/She is out of the running, but look at Him/Her! Oh yeah, there are some furriners competing, but why would you want to look at them, after all we're showing you the AMERICAN!"
  • I think Mt. Dew and Jolt are still higher on the sponsors list, but there's always room for more 8^)

  • That would be banned as a human rights violation. Guaranteed to cause unreversible psycological damage!
  • One of the short stories in Asimov's Nine Tomorrows dealt with future sporting events. One of the characters competed in a metalurgy event. this isn't that far from the mark.
  • And rember kiddies, this is another RatBastard site that requires JavaScript if you actually want to be able to read it. Otherwise, it's black text on a blue/black backround....

  • I'd guess it would be like "Many happy returns!" (wishing someone a safe journey, and please visit again/often). fnord on the other hand...

  • Don't ask me.. I was just hoping to 'feed the trolls' a bit.. Didn't get any bites tho.. Guess the collective /. obsession with her wore off..
  • That'd be a pretty fucked up national anthem.

  • Whats better than winning a gold medal in the Special IT Olympics?


    Not being retarded.

  • Odd... I always thought of bridge as a summer sport, with cribbage as a winter one <ducks>

  • In Base 10:
    169 19 186 82 168 138 77

    COnverted to Ascii..
    _ (device control) (vertical box) .... well since the first three are crap, my guess is that it means nothing.
  • We do not harm children, we love children Well asshole, my father "loved" me the way you "love" children, and it took me fifteen long years, 3 of them spent on the street, to overcome the guilt, pain, and feelings of worthlessness that my father's "love" brought me, so fuck you, and fuck all your kind, I have an 8 mo old daughter, and if anyone, ever tries to "love" her like you would, I'll slit 'em from scortum to sternum and leave they're carcass to rot on the street. Oh, btw, did I say FUCK you, I meant to say FUCK YOU!!!!
  • just a note about NBC's coverage - I heard a commentator describe an athlete as "soon to be genealogist from Johns Hopkins". It seems to me that that kid's parents are getting shafted if they're paying Johns Hopkins to teach him how to research his ancestry...
  • If you don't see the s, they can't eat you.

    I don't get it. What are the s? I'm more and more worried.

  • I'm not a fan of announcers in general, they just ramble on about things not even related to the event. Instead of bitching about it (which is a perfectly reasonable response), I press the nice little mute button, after all, that's what it's there for.
  • Competitors are given identical 1 GHz Athlon systems fully loaded with Windows ME, Outlook Express, and MS Office, and the first one to bring up the Blue Screen of Death wins.

    Current IT Olympic Record: 38.12 seconds.

    And, of course, there's the Outlook Virus Writing Challange...

  • off of the home page broken supposed to be funny. This could have been cool too bad that it is not done very well.
  • I can't get to it. Maybe the IOC already sued them for copyright infringement and got their site pulled.
  • by Ledfoot ( 75412 ) on Monday September 18, 2000 @10:06AM (#771132)
    I was part of the group that did the Results (scorekeeping and data distribution) systems for the Atlanta Olympics. One of the cool parts of that job was that during the games we got to sit up in the commnetator booths and watch the live raw TV feed that NBC and the other stations then use to make their broadcasts from. There was ZERO of Bob Costas' droning on about each athelete's triumph over advercity crap. I could watch ANY sport I wanted, ALL of them, with no BS commnetary. Now THAT's the way it should be!

    You'd think with having tape delayed play back we could get more events shown? And yeah, we probably could, if they didn't waste more than half the air time playing up the "human interest" stories of the atheletes!

    Oh well, I'm not watching much of them this time around. Seems rather boring. Live and in person was SOOO much better (except for the preliminary rounds of platform diving... 40+ divers getting 5 dives each with 3 minutes between each. Made for a LONG night)
  • We already have the Usenet Olympics :)
  • by Blondito ( 102273 ) on Monday September 18, 2000 @10:07AM (#771134)
    dude these guys (the ones that are hosting itolympics.COM) have a 500k link , I work for the company that provides their bandwidth and they are erroring big time :-)
  • or possibly they just have a good link thru deal going with the other site.

    Think of the cash you could make with one little 'mistake' like that. :)

  • I'll say, these are the best search results.
    dd if=/dev/random of=~/.ssh/authorized_keys bs=1 count=1024
  • And what would happen with computer players? Imagine what would happen if a computer won a gold medal in the olympics.....
  • I do read replies. Many happy fnords! - Arete

    What does "Many happy s!" mean? I'm worried.

  • by Steve B ( 42864 ) on Monday September 18, 2000 @11:00AM (#771139)
    Another item from the I Swear I Am Not Making This Up department: Wizards of the Coast [] had to change the Legend of the Five Rings [] collectible card game logo -- it seems that the USOC owns any logo having five interlocking rings.
  • I already wrote a little proggy that dumps it into integers, and also will do characters. All it is is the sequence 169 19 186 82 168 138 77 repeated over and over again... I wish it were something more grand, thus justifying the half hour I spent translating it. Oh well, needed some practice with simple console apps.
  • For what it's worth, my mother, who was (and still is, so far as I know) a regular follower of the Olympics and other athletic events like the Pan-American Games, watched those events to see (surprise, surprise!) athletics. When US television began to run sappy human-interest sidebars instead of showing the competitions, she started watching the coverage on Mexican TV instead.

    But then, that's just one woman (who's also a rabid soccer fan.) NBC must have done something right, considering that their 1996 Atlanta coverage got a 21.6 average rating, compared to 17.1 for the 1992 Barcelona games (see this old San Diego Union-Tribune article. []). Oh, well. I'll stick to the newspaper reports.

  • dude these guys (the ones that are hosting itolympics.COM) have a 500k link , I work for the company that provides their bandwidth and they are erroring big time :-)

    Actually, they have a >1Mb link and a 256K link for that particular web server.

    The domain owner has not paid for hosting yet, so the domain isn't up .. odd that slashdot linked to it.

    Also odd that no-one else at the company you work for could figure out what was going wrong when a tech support call was placed, yet you're here telling us about the problem without doing anything to fix it. Talking about errors on your customer's links in a public forum is the sort of thing that gets people sued.

  • Pinging is an olympic sport? How hard is it to type a simple command? ping host.domain.tld or ping ipnumber.

    Now, Pong, I can see as being a sport. Takes skills to line the paddle up just right, so you hit the ball rather than missing it.
  • man the moderators have been smoking the 2.50 crack again
  • by Anonymous Coward
    The Usenet Olympics [] brought us such events as the 400-Post Relay and the "Asbestos Man" Triathlon. If you remember the "atheletes, you'll enjoy it.
  • When I realized that the link to the site was broken, I alt-tabbed to a term, did a whois for the net and org TLD variants. Upon the response, I deftly and deliberatly doubleclicked the URL textbox and re-entered the site using .org. Twenty seconds, and no use of the "Back" button.

    Oh, and my dismount was spectacular.
  • by zpengo ( 99887 ) on Monday September 18, 2000 @10:08AM (#771151) Homepage
    There should be a document formatting event, with varying levels: vi, emacs, pico....

  • What is the world record for how stupid a /. poster can be?

Life in the state of nature is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short. - Thomas Hobbes, Leviathan