In the case of tool use there is evidence that humans are an exception.
we're the best tool users, but there are others. Apes, crows, sea otters, egyptian vultures, to name a few.
When it comes to gender roles there is no such evidence. Your turn to provide a citation, as I've already provided a citation for my claim. And please no anecdotes, as you seem to erroneously equate anecdotes with evidence.
You can't just bleat "anecdote is not data" and make the data go away. As some point a bunch of observations is data. There are innumeral examples where the general trends don't hold, including our closest relatives.
If the general trends are not universal truths, then they're nothing more than useful starting points. You can't prove anything by saying they exist.
My claim is that your original argument that "There is a huge gap between what we know about sex and gender from science, and what people generally believe about sex and gender." is fundementally flawed. I can't provide a specific citation to that because noone else has argued it with you.
To be honest I'm not even sure which points you're trying to argue any more.
I still disagree that feminism is responsible for everything wrong we know about gender (this is trivial to disprove). I also disagree that the existence of sexual reproduction proves that men and women must have different brains.