Like a rapper calls for a beat, so do I call for a textbox to type. Theme music and I love music. If you talk to someone strangely you can't except them to love you. This essay was good. Must do things but can't, leave this box. type away. Something far away from here for sure. Don't want to bastardize that great art with innundations of semi-artistic ravings, so I rave here. Interesting, isn't it?

No woman will ever love me. I'm too weird. she might for a day or two, but the sunlight creeps over the treetops and she reads this or the OTHER THING WHICH IS INSANE AND VULGAR, and she disowns her former emotion. Hashpipe by weezer . uh! Bill Gates might be Satan himself.
-"Mr. Gates, when did you know you had a monopoly?"
-"Monopoly's just a game, senetor, I want to take over the fucking world!"

how's that scotty? WIll Payne is quite a looser. I feel sorry for him, and htne want to hurt him because he's so damn annoying.

I hold no love for the world. Did you know I can quote Macbeth?
"tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day until the last syllable of recorded time and all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out, out brief candle- Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon an empty stage. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and furry, signifying nothing"

NDOFS why why why why why??????????????? sleeep soon consumes...........................................................................

As I walk through life, I'm always finding more and more things that I want to share that would not be suitable for children. Neat stuff, like avant garde (sp)poetry and techno remixes where they say "fuck" frequently. I suppose I sidestep this issue by learning to savour certain elements until suitable audiences come around. There have been times when I've lapsed and exposed young children to something coarse or something sensual, but those are mainly behind me.

I dl a bitchin' techno remix of the 9th by beethoven. It's really sweet. I love music

Goto this link: www.exquisitecorpse.com. It's the homepage for surrealist poetry and prose reffered to as exquisite corpse and created by conglomerations of random thoughts between multiple persons nonconnected. It's neat-o.

"And then I saw her face, now I'm a believer!"

PSAT today. I feel like Lando as he piloted the Falcon deep inside the new, more powerful Death Star. "Here goes nothing! ..."

I feel kinda empty. Today was a nice day, but now it is over. I'm gonna go read for about 4 hours, seriously, and then sleep. I'm hungry but I don't want to eat fish (which is what my momis cooking tonight). I want a beef stew, perhaps, or chiken and dumplings. Or chili and crackers would be nice. But no fish, and no chicken, and I'm really tired of eating salads. That's all we ever eat here: fish chicken and salad.

I'll just read this gritty Janet Evonovich book for Book of the Month club and try to listen to some Bright Eyes before my mom will inevitabley come up here and turn it off. I have to work tomorrow.

I haven't written in my journal for a while because my personal thoughts of late have been abrstract or disorganzied, which does not suit a journal of this nature. Well, here I am, again, what 'da 'ya think?

I wasn't in school today because I missed the bus and had no ride. My dad didn't seem that mad over the phone, but that's a lie. He was mad, I'll discover this later.

I wasn't at junior regocnition for much the same reason, I had absolutely no ride. F-rides, because I never have them. Instead, I sit around my apartment and download crap and then delete it.

Enough bs, IS Rosie my girlfriend? I haven't asked her out since homecomming. I would've, but (fucking cars) and (fucking distences) and (fucking parents) give me no incentive. It almost seems like it wouldn't be worth the stress. She got called back for It's a Wonderful Life, and I personally think she'll get a pretty good part. Go Rosie! Va Rosita!

Steve Evans is quite an interesting person. I just sit around and think about him, the way he does things. He's the opposite of me in so many ways, sometimes it seems impossible we get along. One thing is we're both pretty nice people, and I do have some things with him. Why am I thinking about this? For some reason when posting about Rosie I was wondering what he'd do. I kinda think I know, but I ain't gonna say nothin'.

I got the best music software in the world. It's called Finale2003, and it's fantastic. It's everything I wanted, and I've used it. I had some trumpet parts(ideas) and some sax parts(ideas) that I was going to bring in today, and those parts may actually be the reason I missed the bus. Arg ... what I suffer for music .... At any rate, I do plan on getting parts for other woodwinds and low brass, but I don't have very many ideas right now. I don't have any ideas for too much right now, 'cause I'm so angry at the stupid bus and my stupid nonexsistent car. BUT... There is a drum part for butterfly, but I don't know exactly what it is. It's weird with tempo and things to notate drums, so I'll just get that notated when I make the whole big score. I know how they sound, anyways, even if I don't know how to write it. It's duh duh DUH duh duh DUH ... oh whatever.

Damn that TBBS is down, I wanted to post an idea I had. There's a one word round robin in idiotic posts, but I was going to suggest a real round robin in Fine Arts, you know, with a story where people write a couple paragraphs (or pages). We could do one seriously and/or one with nonsense in it. Or we could just do one, and see if it gets serious or ends up really weird. We did a round robin in creative writing, and I WOULD'VE gotten to read it today, but I'm kinda thinking that it wouldn't have been any good. When I got the story, it was a little boring, and that day I wasn't too inspired. Besides, the two or three paragraphs that I had read didn't give me time to love the characters, so I didn't have much to add. Who knows, maybe it will be good.

I'm getting better at WCIII and wishing I had a better graphs card. Halo lags and looks ugly, WCIII chugs when big battle happen. That game when we massed gyrocopters in a 4v4 (kinda like massing vultures in Starcraft, for those of you who don't know), that was terrible. I couldn't move the mouse, or it'd jump randomly around the screen. And then I died 'cause I really sucked back then.

I could keep this thing going all day, I bet. But I won't. I gotta clean and I gotta do some system maintenance and I gotta benchmark and I gotta do some other stuff. So I'll see you later. If the mood strikes me, I might post later today.

I think humans make the system of life to try to escape the randomness of fate, but it's a useless gesture, only temporary perspicacity, 'cause it all crumbles anyways. "The best laid plans of mice and men oft go awry." and "The pinnacle of military deployment approached the formless." To life lessons from some old scottish poet and Sun Tzu, respectively.

If anyone wants to read what my life is really like, or what I really have to say about myself, read the topic robbys randomness in the idiotic posts forum on http://bluesky74656.homeip.net:8080/php (or something).

I don't really know what I want right now. I feel like I should sleep, but tomorrow will come and be onto of me, and I don't know if I want tomorrow.

I don't want to confuse anyone here. I also do not want to say what I think, because sensative eyes read this. And they do not know what I feel, and I don't want them to, because people are cool. All I can say, is there's no joy in mudville, 'cause Casey has struck out, again.

Amanda was being btichy today, but I don't hold it against her

I love music. It's now the only constant in my life. Not TBBS, not Halo, not TFT, no this fugging journal; not school days, nor weekends, nor nights; not a friend or a lover or a parent or a mentor. Music, so pure, so simple, this is how I feel.

I'm the last person who will remeber the glow-sticks. The seniors will all graduate, and no one else shadowed that day. I'm the last of the mohecians.

I hate sister Nancy, and I'm going to hommecomming with people, suddenly, bluntly interfering with their plans, feels like I'm forcing myself upon them rudely, or something ... .

This is everything I have done so far today as of 3:40PM.

I woke up several times between 6:45 and 8:45, but rejected the daylight and wakeing world, returning thus to sleep. I drempt intermittently that I was a secrect agent in germany with my sister and some other people. Someone else male was important, I think Matt Schutte maybe. The other important person was a mysterious xfemale spy that I hid in the trunk of a car with at one point and tried to get her to have sex with me because that's what spies do, right? At anyrate, she wouldn't submitt to me, but I woke up feeling allright anyways, because sex always complicates things really, and the missions' success might've been compromised by carnal relations. I got up for real terribly late at 8:45 and showered and dressed about like that. Durring that time I did something which might've been considered gross to some, and during my shower I imagined ways that if someone was watching my life might not've seen that event because they had to stop watching for that moment, or they gave up because I woke up and slept again too often, so they waited until later to watch and missed that event. At any rate, I washed up extra long with luke-warm water because hot is way too hot.

It''s like 9 something, I went downstairs and ate some cookies left over from yesterday and laid down on the couch in front of the window reading grendel and listening to Yanni on my CD player. Mom came down later and took away my headphones for no good reason. I kept reading and finished the book a little later. I don't know what time it was. I went to the kitchen and snacked on something. Brit and mom were studing for their stuff, so I did about 5 minuets of work for chemistry and then went to listen to music in the basement. After that I descided to go for a walk- better yet, go eat food- better yet, go buy a poster for chemistry. I went to tell mom of this. She yelled at me for last night, again. Jerk. I didn't respond, like a Mac in Kernel Panic. Brit flirted around the halls, doing stuff. She wants to go shoe shopping. Evnetually mom descided that if I studied PSAT/SAT stuff w/ brit for 3 hours until they went to go shoe shopping, I would be absolved. So I agreed, went and bought food and a poster and then came back and studied for 3 hours. It was more like 2.15 because brit sent a lot of time explaining converting metrics to my mom, but I learned stuff, really. Yeah, wow. Then they left, mom tried to get me started on more work for chemistry, but I wanted to write this instead. I psoted on Todd's site for a while, blarring music, went to the bathroom, and then blarred music some more while I'm doing this. I'm also singing at the top of my luyngs. THis is a good song! It's by Death Cab for Cutie and it's called "Song for Kelly Huckaby". THrough research I have determined that Kelly Huckaby was a friend of theirs who got married, and they wrote the song for her wedding. To have DCFC at my wedding? AWESOME~!!!!one!!11!11!!! This is the low-fi version which sounds really hella-cool.

That's all for now. I guess I might write tomorrow night, because I won't write tonight because of the game and I have to work at 7 ugh'clock tomorrow. Also I must work a lot. Goodbye.

Today Amanda said that most people have a filter that prevents negative thoughts from escaping from peoples heads, and that I don't have one.

Did you know that center breaklights are Canadian? Did you know that 80% of all car accidents over 60mph are caused by males? Did you know that my driving instructer is Kate's uncle? No, I bet you didn't. But yes, he says hes the non-blood uncle of Katie Justus, a junior at NDCL. ....
it's a world of laughter a world of tears, it's a world of hopes it's a world of fears / if we think about it all, we are really really small, it's a small world after all...

There were other things that I wanted to say, but I can't rember them. So instead, another round of "It's a small world after all"!!!!! No? damn... Goodnight, folks!

I noticed that neither bluesky74656 or Qeto9876 have bios visible on their journal pages. Mine is visible, at least to me, and if yours are, lemme know how/where to see them.

I'm writing now because I don't know if I'll be able to go on tonight.
I have three things on my mind. 1.McDonalds and all the strange things that happen there, 2.Rosie and how wonderful her hair looked yesterday, and 3.How I'm going to post this w/o my mom knowing.

While it would appear that 3 is already acomplished, I may yet get caught and therefore cannot daudle. When I get out early and stop over at my dad's to do something she gets deeply insulted, and that makes for bad realtions.

Mcdonalds is a strange place. Today was spent mostly making fun of the "i'm lovin' it!" employee campaign. It was suggested by a particularly cool corss-eyed manager that a whole bunch of McDonalds executives went out and got drunk, and that's where they came up with it. Another interesting thing in my line of work is that one of the clocks is EXACTLY one minuet faster than my watch. Right now my watch says 2:21:11 and the clock on the wall say 2:22:11. exactly. Also, I found a pickle stuck to the window.

Denny told me the BNL concert sold out already. I utterly don't believe him. I wouldn't be able to exsist if I did.

Well, that's about all of that. Life would be so much better if I got sucked away into a parallell universe where magic ruled instead of physics with a few select teenagers that I am friends with. I wrote a story about a kid that that happened to.
BUt alas! I am not going to get sucked up into that fantasy world, so I therefore must boldy follow Brit where no Widner has yet gone before...COLLEGE! at least in a year or two...

that's all for now, folks! gotta run!

I've spent the day after school playing Blizzard games, playing with Schutte, and setting him up here. http://slashdot.org/~One_Shot_Schutte/journal/

I don't think that's a link, but if it's not just copy paste into address bar. Bur you knew that.
After a day like today, even though I feel a little like nothing, I might be going to a Halo Pc " Beta Tesing" session w/ Joe and Todd if my dad let's me take the PC over there. Here's hoping.

one thing about having a journal is that it demands either honesty or neglect.

So I asked her today. I asked her and I was too late and now it's all gone. Everything, all gone, flushing down the toilet like some discussion topic that I found unfavourable in more ways than one. I asked her today, but I was too late.

Well, Hell.....To Halo!