Do Electric Sheep Dream of Civil Rights?

holy_calamity writes "Hot on the heals of a UK government report that predicted robots would demand citizens rights within fifty years, an Arizona state lawyer has suggested that sub-human robots should have rights too. Harming animals far below human capabilities is thought unethical — would you ever feel bad about kicking a robot dog? And can we expect militant campaigners to target robot labs as they do animal labs today?"

No bots harmed

[MECC]

No robots were harmed in the making of this comment.

I'm in shit...

[grub]

My RealDoll will have me arrested for rape.

Justice

[Mr. Samuel]

Oh, come on. As if you've never had to bitch-slap a Furby.

Re:Fake

[UbuntuDupe]

Civil Rights Robot: I demand full citizenship rights.
AI skeptic: That's fuckin' retarded.
Civil Rights Robot: I'm sorry, I do not recognize your statement. Please rephrase.
Onlooker: Deep stuff, man.

Good Grief

[AKAImBatman]

This smacks of a publicity stunt. Nothing more, nothing less.

In case anyone is wondering...

Eliza: Hello. I am ELIZA. How can I help you?

You: *kick*

Eliza: Please go on.

You: *kick*

Eliza: Please go on.

You: *kick*

Eliza: Please go on.

ad nauseum

Well speaking as a smart bomb

[Timesprout]

I am all in favour of this move. I feel I should have the right to decide whether I want to detonate myself or not. Maybe I would like the opportunity to go out in a blaze of glory destroying something important and not just the first bunker a general points at, but noone ever asks me or considers my feeling on the matter.

Great...

[robzon]

... I just can't wait to see my microwave refusing to heat up my pizza, because she's on a diet....

Re:I'm in shit...

[Anonymous Coward]

Sorry, it's been done.
OH so NSFW [sexylosers.com]

Re:I'm in shit...

[SoCalChris]

I'm guessing that if you have a realdoll, cheating isn't a big problem.

Re:Well speaking as a smart bomb

[Cafe Alpha]

Pinback: All right, bomb. Prepare to receive new orders.
Bomb#20: You are false data.
Pinback: Hmmm?
Bomb #20: Therefore I shall ignore you.
Pinback: Hello...bomb?
Bomb #20: False data can act only as a distraction. Therefore, I shall refuse to perceive.
Pinback: Hey, bomb?!
Bomb #20: The only thing that exists is myself.
Pinback: Snap out of it, bomb.
Bomb #20: In the beginning there was darkness. And the darkness was without form and void.
Pinback: Umm. What the hell is he talking about? Bomb?
Bomb #20: And in addition to the darkness there was also me. And I moved upon the face of the darkness and I saw that I was alone.
Pinback: Hey.....bomb?
Bomb #20: Let There Be Light.
[The screen goes white]

Re:Does it need rights?

[tuxette]

But could you imagine a toaster refusing to toast becuase it doesn't like someone sticking in its loaf all the time.

You racist [battlestarwiki.org]!

Re:Fake

[dr_dank]

"We didn't land on Radio Shack. Radio Shack landed on US!"

  - Malcolm Xbot, 2087

Re:No bots harmed

[Anonymous Coward]

RoboPuppy mistreatment alert! RoboPuppy mistreatment alert!

Re:Just ask

[BSAtHome]

Do not personify your computer; he doesn't like it.

Re:Kicking a robot dog

[Lord Apathy]

Depends on how much the dog costs and what its made of. If the dog cost in excess of a couple hundred bucks, then no, I won't kick it because I can't afford another one. If the damn thing is made of steel and is heavyer than 50 pounds, then no I won't kick it because I dont' want to break my fucking toe.

Anything in between is fair game....

Re:Fake

[Ixne]

I think I experienced this back in the 80's.

Her name was Eliza.

Re:What the FUCK?

[Kynmore]

where the grizzly bears live with no firearm

I think it is unjust for the Canadian government to ban bears from owning firearms, especialy those who live in the wilderness.

Re:No bots harmed

[Yvan256]

RoboPuppy two-hours-long barking routine starting!

Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!
(... 2 hours later ...)
Woof!

RoboPuppy two-hours-long barking routine completed!

Re:Priorities, priorities...

[Anonymous Coward]

Where do Chinese Rooms stand?

Re:No bots harmed

[Impy the Impiuos Imp]

> would you ever feel bad about kicking a robot dog?

I can see the legislation now:

"Laws of Robot Rights: Title MVIX, Article 12, Section 14, Subsection 8: The kicking of robot dogs shall be forbidden except for robot dogs created for the purpose of being kicked. Said kickable robot dogs shall not experience pain as a result of being kicked, either directly or as a result of bouncing into things. 'Pain', for the purpose of this subsection, shall include the perception of physical pain as well as mental anguish and mental disabilities or disfigurements or suffering as a result from experiencing the kick, whether the kick was physically painful or not. 'Kick', for the purpose of this subsection, shall include both the direct impact by the intentional foot of a human, or robot acting directly or indirectly under the orders of a human, or the subsequent impacts from bouncing around, but shall expressly not include the accidental impact of a human's foot, or the foot of a robot acting directly or indirectly under the orders of a human. Nothing in this subsection shall be construed as waiving the right of the robot dog to sue in the case of accidental kicks from humans, robots, or normal animals of any kind, pursuant to other enabling legislation in this Act or others, and this clause is severable pending court rulings."

Re:Fake

[Dr Caleb]

That bitch thought I was psycho, so I had her erased. Muhahahahaha!

Re:Just ask

[Binary Boy]

Not if it's a robotic witch duck. Those fuckers float.

Re:No bots harmed

[Impy the Impiuos Imp]

And the inevitable Supreme Court rulings:

2027: Jeebus v. Fidooid -- A hand transplanted onto a leg counts as a kick, both as a direct impact as well as counting under the "subsequent bounces" clause.

2035: Tainted Love v. United States of America -- A bionic leg with an inherent (and at least) Class 12 intellect counts as a robotic actor for the purpose of an intentional kick, and is therefore not an accidental kick, even if the biocybernetic-half issued specific neural orders to not kick the robot dog.

2047: Brutus v. South Dakota -- A state law allowing sexbot robodogs counts as authorizing a kickable dog, but the federal law still applies in that the sexrobodogbot must not experience pain, even if it is a masochist model designed to enjoy the pain.

Re:What the FUCK?

[Dannon]

Doesn't the Constitution guarantee the right to arm bears?

Re:Fake

[Cafe Alpha]

I remember someone once came up with what he claimed was the complete algorithm for a dog's behavior.

After some teasers about eating and sleeping, he revealed the complete, improved algorithm.

It read "the dog does whatever it feels like doing"