Canadian Music Industry Drills Dentists 555
hereisnowhy writes "CBC reports that the tranquil music that wafts through many dental offices to soothe patients and mask the sounds of the drill may soon be silenced. The music industry is putting the bite on dentists -- demanding that they pay for the right to play it. The Society of Composers, Authors and Music Publishers of Canada would also like to extend this policy to 'coffee shops, clothing stores, lounges, elevators -- even radio tunes that people hear on the telephone while on hold.' Are any composers and authors actually in favour of this, or just the publishers?"
The scariest thing... (Score:5, Funny)
Lets not forget.. (Score:5, Funny)
Uh oh. (Score:3, Funny)
If so, I'm very, very sorry. Don't worry, it's not the kind of crappy music that you're worried about people hearing for free anyway. This music is good.
Boy Ricers (Score:1, Funny)
WHAT?! (Score:2, Funny)
God has a hard on for dentists, because we kill everything we see. He plays his games, we play ours. To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh teeth. God was here before Dentistry, so you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the industry!
Teeth (Score:5, Funny)
Reminds me of a UF cartoon I once saw... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Article text in case of slashdotting (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Stupid (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Why dentists? (Score:2, Funny)
(Sorry, too much Seinfeld)
Ah, to be a dentist... (Score:3, Funny)
"Oops, sorry, thought I'd given you the anesthetic....too late now, let me turn on some soothing music to take your mind off the pain....oh, wait, sorry, can't do that anymore"
It seems a bit backwards... (Score:5, Funny)
If you look at it that way, the music industry should be paying the dentists to not plays their music.
Important Quote (Score:3, Funny)
"We will also be attacking auto shops,
billing some breakfast nooks,
complaining about co-ops,
demanding at doctor's offices,
enjuncting eateries,
freaking out flyers,
grabbing from greenhouses,
holding up hotels,
infringing on rights at investment offices,
jostling Jeep dealers,
kneedling some knitting stores,
leavying against lawyers' offices,
meddling at muesems,
nosing around news stands,
offending offices,
prodding price-clubs,
questioning Quick Stops,
requesting of restrants,
shaking-down a few sugar shacks,
troubling travel agents,
unhinging uppolstry shop managers,
video-taping vacuum stores,
wringing out waterparks,
X-Raying Xerox service centers,
yelling at yogurt shops,
and zig zagging around zoos. "
Good thing nothing like this ever happens in the US. *sigh*
So.... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The scariest thing... (Score:5, Funny)
Unfortunately they do not use gas.
Seinfeld (Score:3, Funny)
Re:The scariest thing... (Score:3, Funny)
In continuing on the logic train here... (Score:5, Funny)
Make Them Pay !!! (Score:3, Funny)
In order to make it palatable, the dentists need a publicist to headline a few high-profile cases where poor dentists are shown losing everything because nobody is buying new dental work anymore. Picture it: a few talking heads discussing how this will eventually devastate the economy, how billions will leave the country to futher line the pockets of foriegn magnates. Forclosures, bad credit card debt, dentists leaving the industry for better prospects in other industries..how the brain-drain is sapping innovation, how the masses are now beginning to suffer from a death of dental professionals...
They should then push for important new legislation to stop all gray-market dental work from being done: The Dental Millenium Universal Hygiene Act. Of course the name has been chosen to impicitly ironic, suggesting that the welfare of the commoner is being looked after.
Oh great, I have to run. The company that makes the turbofan cooling my video card proccessor chip is here with a subpoena demanding I pay for the traquil whir i've been listening to all this time, or else.
Re:What makes an artist? (Score:3, Funny)
All else being equal, musical artists and programmer artists have the exact same goals - stay alive and get their work out to as many appreciative people as possible.
It just happens that the handy method music people have of making a living plain doesn't work for coders, which sucks.
(I just had a mental image of live stadium programming. With an announcer, of course. "It looks like he's using polymorphism! Oh no, he's misspelled 'class'. Wait, what's he doing? Yes, folks, he's SCRATCHING HIS BALLS")
My Dentist just sings (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Article text in case of slashdotting (Score:3, Funny)
We are, after all, the country which conceived "The CCRAP" as a political party (Canadian Conservative Reform Alliance Party).
Subsequent to immediate expressions of concern regarding the acronym, it was of course fairly quickly changed, but the former members of that party will continue to live on in the hearts and minds of Canadians under their original title.
Re:So.... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:The scariest thing... (Score:3, Funny)
in further evidence that nothing sacred is safe from perversion, i offer that muzak has gone seriously downhill since the glory days of the seventies and even early eighties.
muzak used to be instantly recognizable as highly sanitized, soothing, mantovani-type music that could practically wipe your mind clean - almost physically unfocus your eyes and remove the expression from your face.
now they've gone all "hip" and environmental and electronic. i like environmental and electronic but sometimes you just want the classic muzak experience.
Hold still please - what did you say you do? (Score:2, Funny)
Dentist: What?
RIAA: *spit* the RIAA, you know...
Dentist: hmmmm....
*zzzzzzzzzzzzgrrrrrrriiiilllzzzdddmmmmmmmmmm*
Subsonic drill noises
Sounds of delicate enamel being drilled
*Blood curdling scream of agony*
Oh yes, you have chosen to piss off all the wrong people now, you overpaid music execs... next time you feel the drill penetrate your sensitive nerves, or you get stuck in the lift listening to Avril Latrine... you will know...
Thank you for holding (Score:2, Funny)