MPAA Wants Copy-Controlled PCs 773
phil reed writes: "According to our favorite media mogul, Jack Valenti (as stated in this letter in the Washington Post, all PCs need to have strong copy protection built in. 'Computer and video-device companies need to sit at the table with the movie industry. Together, in good-faith talks, they must agree on the ingredients for creating strong protection for copyrighted films and then swiftly implement that agreement to make it an Internet reality.' Way to go, guy."
make sure to get the patch into -rc1 (Score:5, Funny)
Big Table? (Score:5, Funny)
My old laptop will become a circumvention device (Score:5, Funny)
They'll pry my TI99/4A from my cold, dead fingers.
Re:Mr. Valenti gets framed... (Score:2, Funny)
; )
Re:make sure to get the patch into -rc1 (Score:4, Funny)
Dear Jack-- (Score:4, Funny)
Love,
Brant
In other news... (Score:5, Funny)
Some things just ain't gonna happen.
Also, we'll need... (Score:5, Funny)
Microphones that won't record copyrighted soundwaves,
Pencils that won't write copyrighted strings,
Speakers that won't vibrate to reproduce copyrighted current patterns,
Film that won't change when exposed to copyrighted rays of light,
Oh yeah, and brains that won't remember copyrighted material of any sort.
snow
In a related topic... (Score:3, Funny)
Valenti is a retard (Score:2, Funny)
I hate this man.
Re:Also, we'll need... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:make sure to get the patch into -rc1 (Score:4, Funny)
After all, he can really identify with the needs of your average linux user...namely, to be able to easily and cost-effectively create Linux rendering farms. He realizes that the average linux user has no need to actually watch DVD's on linux, that's something only pirates do. He realized that reverse engineering Microsoft's protocols was taking up too much effort of the linux community, so he had anti-circumvention provisions built into the DMCA. So now, the linux community doesn't waste nearly as much time doing that.
So, when you think about, what better representative could Linux have?
Jack... (Score:2, Funny)
Jack, fuck off..
I'll let you specify standards for my PC when I get to specify minimum nipple counts for your movies
Re:Not bloody likely.. (Score:2, Funny)
Very flattering towards slashdot (Score:5, Funny)
The movie industry is under siege from a small community of professors.
I'm blushing, jack. No, we're not all professors.
Re:Legislation Imminent (Score:2, Funny)
At least I didn't vote form him.
Re:I goofed! Sorry! (Score:2, Funny)
You misspelled COCK.
HTH. HAND.
Re:Copy-protected PC's? (Score:2, Funny)
> to add this to their products
The Joe Sixpack and PIY phenomenon. Consider this:
Joe Six pack heads down to CompUSA to do some comparison shopping of computers so he can play "Son of Nascar".
Flybynite Computer puts a sticker saying "Approved by the MPAA" with a little box and check-mark through it on their computers.
Freedom brand computers doesn't, not buying the need to limit the use of it's PC's and screw it's customer base.
Joe Sixpack, most likely ignorant of what MPAA is, sees the check-mark on the Flybynite, sees that Freedom brand doesn't have it, and with little separating the two in regards to price, figures he's getting more for his dollar.
Likewise, the MPAA shows it's appreciation by making sure every shot with a computer in "Charlies Angels 2: justice at the beach" is a Flybynite... Oddly enough, CA2:jatb is a huge hit with the 13-24 year-old males in America. Suddenly, the Sixpack's and PIY's of America, flock to Flybynite brand computers, because of (1) their exta features, and/or (2) the fact that they get the babes.
Freedom brand, loosing market share, knuckes under, and puts the checkbox on their computers. Next thing you know Jeff Goldblum is seen figuring out that he can only hack the aliens computers using the superior technology of a Freedom laptop in "Re-Independance Day"
Corporate marketing 101 quiz (Score:5, Funny)
A - Exact bit-for-bit duplication of products from legally obtained originals, with the resulting copies sold on streetcorners and eBay.
B - Production of products that rely on stupidity to make money and are of little or no value to the consumer.
C - Evil naughty hackers.
2. What should you do to ensure that "piracy" does as little damage as possible?
A - Produce products with enough value that people would prefer to purchase a legitimate copy rather than deal with quality and legality issues of questionable copies.
B - Encourage harsh prosecution of those who profit from the sale of "pirated" content and launch a PR campaign explaining your side of the case.
C - Punish all consumers for not giving you enough money and argue that you should have complete control over everything you sell for all eternity, followed by evil laughter.
3. When your product can no longer provide adequate profit in your market, you should:
A - Change your product to better fit the market.
B - Move to a different market.
C - Grab market by the legs, spread them wide, and shove your product up the most convenient orifice.
Re:....not to mention China (Score:2, Funny)
Well at least it's not dead imprisonment. Thank God for small favors.
Must be hardware then... (Score:5, Funny)
RIAA: "Hi Mr. Torvalds, we need you to enforce the DMCA in your kernel"
RIAA: "Hi Redhat, we need you to enforce the DMCA more and Mr. Torvalds told us to contact you."
RedHat: "Umm... we don't actually do the coding for those media projects, you'll have to contact Gnome, KDE, and all the other little developers"
RIAA: "Oh... thank you, you wouldn't happen to the phone number for 1337hac0rz34 would you?"
RedHat: "Haha... click".
Actually this would be funny, I'd like to see them do something like this, because in linux the dmca,etc will never be software. So unless they're hacking firmware which would be a whore, this won't work.
Re:Mr. Valenti gets framed... (Score:3, Funny)