al Qaeda Hacks XP? 736
acaird writes "According to this article at Newbytes, members of al Qaeda may have worked for Microsoft and planted "trojans, trapdoors, and bugs in Windows XP"."
This stuff screams of hoax to me, but it is showing up on the Washington
Post.
Where the hell is Microsoft's PR agency? (Score:5, Funny)
If this goes on..."Next week on Jerry Springer: Bill Gates is sleeping with my sister!"
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! (Score:1, Funny)
hah! (Score:2, Funny)
I heard they also worked for Firestone and sabotaged their tires!!!
Hmmmm (Score:4, Funny)
Unless they commented there code:
security_hole();       /*b1n l@d1n r00lz!*/
Those bastards hacked the linux kernel too! (Score:5, Funny)
Observe:
% grep -ir 'a.*l.*q.*a.*e.*d.*a'
704
Time to outlaw leenuks, I say.
"rigorous processes" (Score:3, Funny)
According to Desler, Microsoft has rigorous processes in place during the development of Windows to ensure the security and integrity of source code
I can sleep easier now.
don't worry (Score:3, Funny)
to quote a classic.... (Score:1, Funny)
And monkeys might fly out of my butt.."
Thank you.
Ah ha! (Score:2, Funny)
score -1, redundant (Score:2, Funny)
Can we mod down a statement in an article as being redundant? The washington post all but invented "ready-shoot-aim" journalism.
If you don't buy Windows XP... (Score:5, Funny)
Well you know what's next... (Score:5, Funny)
seineewerastsisrorretadeuqla
Re:Where the hell is Microsoft's PR agency? (Score:2, Funny)
There you have it, indisputable proof that Gates and bin Laden are allies.
say what? (Score:5, Funny)
...no other explanation needed.
I feel a Monty Python Quote is in order (Score:1, Funny)
- Dennis the Filth Collector.
A quick search through the XP dll's (Score:2, Funny)
"!seineeW era tnemnrevoG SU"
Oh ya? (Score:2, Funny)
I heard that members of al Qaeda had infiltrated Slashdot and were sabotaging the quality of reporting.
Oh wait, Taco has always posted retarded stuff.
Re:Spelling!!!!!!!!!! (Score:1, Funny)
Goodbye to the BSOD? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:not as easy as you might think (Score:5, Funny)
Back under your bridge, troll.
So THEY've been putting all those bugs! (Score:5, Funny)
BWAHAHAHAHAA
Recycle Bin Laden! (Score:5, Funny)
How to tell (Score:5, Funny)
good lord (Score:5, Funny)
"OK, people. Line to the left is suicide bombers, center line is front line soldiers, right-hand, nefarious computer geeks."
or
(2 terrorists meet to discuss their accomplishments)
"I have struck a great blow against Satan! I have planted bombs and anthrax!"
"I, too, have stuck a great blow!"
"What did you do?"
"Improper bounds checking in msetl23.dll! I used my own hasty, roll-your-own strcpy()! And as a final coup de gras*, I stole 3 product activation keys and gave them to Best Buy employees"
Please.
* terrorists may not actually use phrases like this. Consult your manual.
Re:not as easy as you might think (Score:4, Funny)
Poor ``osama'' user... every other user instantly becomes root, except for him (sorry, couldn't resist - but this is another reason why strcmp() is pure evil sometimes) ;-)
How to get rid of It! (Score:4, Funny)
# rm -f
Warning: Utitilty
# ln
# chflags schg
# chflags schg
Thank you for removing
In other news... (Score:5, Funny)
WTF! (Score:2, Funny)
muahahaha, now, *THAT* was funny.
Re:As Microsoft would need terrorist help (Score:2, Funny)
Two wrongs makes a right, doesn't it?
Re:good lord (Score:2, Funny)
Pardoning me Shaek Mohammad Mohamed Banky, but did you not mean "Praise Allah?"
It turns out... (Score:4, Funny)
XP embedded! (Score:1, Funny)
I can see the following code hidden:
if (hardware == plane)
crash();
Who needs to sacrifice pilots.
Taking credit for other people's havok... (Score:5, Funny)
Sounds to me like al-Qaeda is just looking to take credit for the chaos caused by others.
"You will feel our wrath in the endless bugs and security holes in Windows XP!"
What's next? "We will cause random car accidents in busy intersections and will lace cigarettes with deadly carcinogens!" OOooo, their prophecies are coming true, everybody! Head for the hills!
Re:Where the hell is Microsoft's PR agency? (Score:4, Funny)
And they will find that there is no way to tell if there are Al-Qeada moles, trap doors, bugs, etc. - the difference between that and normal operation may be minimal at best.
That may be the Al-qeada plan to destroy America. make sure all MS products stop working after a certain date
;-)
Yes. (Score:1, Funny)
Al Qaeda's Elite Supercomputing Matrix (Score:5, Funny)
7:30p. This just in - We have learned that the alleged Al Qaeda computing complex was destroyed. US Marines were seen removing five hourglasses, an abacus, and a piece of aluminum foil that were allegedly behind a massive recent distributed denial of service.
holy cow, I found it! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Those bastards hacked the linux kernel too! (Score:2, Funny)
yes, worry. (Score:3, Funny)
Also, don't forget the ones that are there by poor implimentation. You know, like sound files in email that get executed without warning.
Also, don't forget the ones that are there due to poor design. You know, like an email client that runs as root because there are no real user accounts and the underlying file system will not support that and ....
Don't forget to combine all of the above with poor judgement. Well, running M$ with anything but in single user non networked air gap protected mode is poor judgement. Worse judgement is attatching a camera and an always on high speed internet connection in your freaking bedroom, ha-ha [min.net](banned in Saudi Arabia).
Alah-Akbar. It's true you know.
Re:Where the hell is Microsoft's PR agency? (Score:5, Funny)
Huh? Last time I checked, Al Queda wanted to destroy the technological world, not save it!
Bill Gates holds press release on Al Qaeda hacks (Score:5, Funny)
"Bill Gates holds press release on Al Qaeda hacks in Windows XP."
Redmond- Bill Gates today held a press release to confirm the presence of "hacked" code in the Windows XP product, and admitted for the first time that all previous versions of Windows also had "hacked" code inserted maliciously by covert Al Qaeda operatives within the Microsoft Corporation. "We have confirmed the presence of this code in all versions of Microsoft Windows from 3.0 to XP. The code we have found was planted by covert Al Qaeda operatives who were employed by Microsoft for years. This was a long-term terrorist operation planned years in advance and executed with frightening efficiency. We have investigated the code and found it to be the cause of instability in Windows products. As a matter of fact, the infamous "Blue Screen of Death" was in fact an Al Qaeda trojan. We will be release a full list in the coming week of all the Windows problems that the Al Qaeda terrorists are responsible for after a full investigation of all the things that make Windows suck."
Re:Hmmmm (Score:1, Funny)
I'll be picky and anal:
But hey! Keep hanging out on those IRC channels and you might be able to code Hello World in C properly in three years or so!
Re:In other news... (Score:2, Funny)
Ah... (Score:5, Funny)
This Can't Be True (Score:2, Funny)
I'm sitting here on a Windows box right now, and the very idea that Al Qaeda could get jobs at MS, hack the s@$%%$#%#%Die American Scum@$#@$@#$ is just ludicrous. I mean, learning how to fly a plane is one thing but !Q%#@$^%@#$^#$$The blood of the infidels will run red in the streets!%@#$%%#$%$%getting a CS degree, getting hired by MS, and then slipping all those hacks through the system? That strains my credulity.
Re:Hmmmm (Score:2, Funny)
imagine for a moment you are a terrorist.. you want control over the majority of the world's computers.. best way is to embed it into the most widely used OS.. but for your evil plan to be sucessful you have to find a way to make this OS stable enough to be online long enough to implement phaze 2 of the plan.. follow the bread crumbs, the truth will reveal itself.
and what do we have.. XP is a complete turnaround from previous Windows OS's.. i smell a fish.. and whoever fixed all those bugs certainly wasnt your average M$ employee. this didnt "just happen" by itself, people... someone made this happen, and i for one am hella scared..
Bill Gates, and Bin Laden, the two biggest forces of evil in the world working together.. shudder
Re:Where the hell is Microsoft's PR agency? (Score:4, Funny)
Maybe Ballmer's dance is part of the process, that looked fairly rigorous. It also didn't look too terribly effective.
Breaking up Microsoft! (Score:5, Funny)
lets get it straight (Score:4, Funny)
Re:not as easy as you might think (Score:5, Funny)
Get a clue. If your a PHB code reviewer at MS, there's a big difference between finding out your programmers have actually been having a little fun on the job with a hidden easter egg, and trying to figure out the functionality of backdoorforallah.dll.
obviously (Score:1, Funny)
Of course, MS will probably stop calling every bug a 'feature' and claim its a terrorist attack - I'm surprised that, what with all the tack-ons to the antiterrorism bills being passed, MS hasn't tried to get Linux, BSD, Mac, or any other OS labelled as terrorist software.
Re:Spelling!!!!!!!!!! (Score:2, Funny)
THis explains the whole thing!!! (Score:2, Funny)
Not only Al Qeada (Score:1, Funny)
Approximately 5835 winboxes crashed while you were reading this post. Thank you.
Re:not as easy as you might think - VERY EASY (Score:3, Funny)
My policy is half of that: the first half!
And this just in from Boeing security.... (Score:2, Funny)
Boeing security stated that the terrorists Bin Sleepin, Bin Drinkin and Bin Fightin have been arrested on immigration issues. The Police advise further that they can find no one fitting the description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, in the area. Police are confident that anyone who looks like Bin Workin will be very easy to spot in the plant.
Remember how to spot terrorist coders (Score:2, Funny)
Like talk about the Grey Screen of Death and see if they notice. Or see if they can tell you what TCP/IP stands for - hint - it's not Taliban Control Program/Intifada Protocol like they think.
And if they don't get all hot and bothered by the BSD booth babes, you know they must be terrorists.
-
What? (Score:2, Funny)
lol
I think next week maybe I'll pose as a surgeon or a lawyer and get a raise!
Chant heard at Al Qaeda training camp.... (Score:2, Funny)