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The Ultimate Blog Post

Posted by Zonk on Sun Sep 10, 2006 02:43 AM
from the going-to-sue-ea-over-this dept.
The Internet It's funny. Laugh.
An anonymous reader writes to mention Lore Sjöberg's 'Ultimate Blog Post'. He goes over the history of the blog (dating back over 2000 years), and conveniently condenses out the perfect blog posts for a few notable sites. From the article: "Boing Boing: Crocheted replica of subway map cracks DRM on collection of old video games. FARK: Drunk frat boy in Florida has sex with underage donkey, sues Strong Bad for negligence. Still no cure for overused in-jokes. Slashdot: AMD, SCO patent MP3 over TCP/IP, sue ATI, EA. Microsoft probably responsible somehow. Engadget: Samsung releases new cell phone/mp3 player/camera/web browser/GPS/game player/wireless hub. Now in gray! Joystiq: Will Wright to design first-person Warcraft shooter for the Wii. Jack Thompson responds with aneurysm."
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  • The Ultimate Comment (Score:5, Funny)

    by BigZaphod (12942) on Sunday September 10 2006, @02:48AM (#16074776)
    (http://www.bigzaphod.org/)
    Dupe anonymous first post is -1 off-topic but insightful because Linux rules and Zonk sucks.

  • line breaks help... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Danoz (627412) on Sunday September 10 2006, @02:50AM (#16074779)
    Boing Boing: Crocheted replica of subway map cracks DRM on collection of old video games.

    FARK: Drunk frat boy in Florida has sex with underage donkey, sues Strong Bad for negligence. Still no cure for overused in-jokes.

    Slashdot: AMD, SCO patent MP3 over TCP/IP, sue ATI, EA. Microsoft probably responsible somehow.

    Kottke: Elwin Festerator is the unsung inventor of the curly telephone cord. "I looked at a straight telephone cord, and I asked myself, Elwin, why can't that be curly? So I went out and got my brand-new curling gun, and I curled the hell out of it." Related link: New Yorker article on the Olympic curling team.

    Engadget: Samsung releases new cell phone/mp3 player/camera/web browser/GPS/game player/wireless hub. Now in gray!

    Joystiq: Will Wright to design first-person Warcraft shooter for the Wii. Jack Thompson responds with aneurysm.

    Groklaw: Transcript of SCO deposition on previous court order concerning applicability of evidence to last year's motion to review earlier statements. Seriously, we love this stuff.

    Daily Kos: Bush caught in three-way with Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh.

    Little Green Footballs: Bush enjoys triumphant three-way with Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh.

    Gawker: Paris Hilton does pretty much anything.

    Cute Overload: A kitten licks a puppy while the puppy licks a bunny.

    Fleshbot: Same as Cute Overload, only with coeds.

    MacRumors: Apple is going to sue us for revealing that Apple is going to sue us.

    MAKE blog: How to create a nuclear accelerator using a Flash drive, a Commodore 64 and a guy named Roger.

    Metafilter: Unhelpful link text. Extra links added for padding that have little to do with the main topic of the entry. Are extremely loaded rhetorical questions the only thing that can save us now?

    Digg: Hey, cool, someone wrote an article about Digg!

  • This is not the ultimate blog post (Score:5, Funny)

    by TaPotski (1001556) on Sunday September 10 2006, @03:27AM (#16074825)
    This is just a tribute

  • Hmm... (Score:3, Insightful)

    by Golias (176380) on Sunday September 10 2006, @03:38AM (#16074840)
    Lore is a funny guy who I have found entertaining for nearly a decade, but if this particular nugget of wit was written by some random blogger that nobody had ever heard about, would it really have made the front page of Slashdot?

    I mean... It's kinda-sorta funny. I guess.

    It doesn't really hold a candle to his "I'm Somebody's Fetish" T-shirts, though.
    • Re:Hmm... by NurseMaximum (Score:1) Sunday September 10 2006, @06:15AM

      • Re:Hmm... (Score:4, Interesting)

        by daniil (775990) <evilbj8rn@hotmail.com> on Sunday September 10 2006, @06:56AM (#16075132)
        (Last Journal: Thursday September 28 2006, @01:06PM)
        There does seem to be a lot of 'blog posts as news' at the moment.

        This actually makes sense, if you consider how most Slashdotters seem to feel towards the mainstream media (they don't seem to be too fond of it) and everything "open source" (media included). If the /. editors support "grassroots media", it makes perfect sense that they would consider blogs as news sources to be equal with "real" ones.
        [ Parent ]
        • Re:Hmm... by 1u3hr (Score:2) Sunday September 10 2006, @09:11AM
          • Re:Hmm... by Jerf (Score:3) Sunday September 10 2006, @11:34AM
        • Re:Hmm... by Deliveranc3 (Score:2) Tuesday September 12 2006, @10:03PM
    • Re:Hmm... by Tim Browse (Score:2) Sunday September 10 2006, @07:32AM

  • They forgot: (Score:5, Funny)

    by doxology (636469) on Sunday September 10 2006, @03:42AM (#16074850)
    (http://cozzyd.web.stanford.edu/)
    LiveJournal: So, in my desperation and eternal angst, I created another piece of art to put on Deviant Art. Also, Puffy had kittens and I saw a green Volvo on my way to college. I dreamt about horseradish last night.

    MySpace: OMG! T0day, me slit wrists again. i so emo! it cuz i make video for knew my chemical romance song! watch it [here]! comment me plz! thx bai!

    Xanga: i scraped knee today when goig to kindergarten. dreamt about pony. hope toof fairi gives me $$ so i can bye lickorish. dreamt of ponies lsat night!
    • Re:They forgot: by daverabbitz (Score:1) Sunday September 10 2006, @04:18AM
    • Re:They forgot: by howardd21 (Score:1) Sunday September 10 2006, @06:13AM
    • Re:They forgot: by setirw (Score:2) Sunday September 10 2006, @08:15AM
    • Re:They forgot: by noamsml (Score:1) Sunday September 10 2006, @10:24AM
    • Nope... by nick_davison (Score:2) Sunday September 10 2006, @01:05PM
    • Re:They forgot: by Inks (Score:1) Sunday September 10 2006, @03:09PM
    • Re:They forgot: by Deliveranc3 (Score:2) Tuesday September 12 2006, @10:01PM

  • 2000 years? (Score:2, Funny)

    by ArwynH (883499) on Sunday September 10 2006, @03:49AM (#16074857)
    He goes over the history of the blog (dating back over 2000 years)

    IIRC 'blog' is short for 'weblog'. I must be tired or something, because I fail to grasp how a WebLog can predate the Web by aprox. 1970 years...

    • Re:2000 years? by prgrmr (Score:2) Sunday September 10 2006, @03:54AM
      • Re:2000 years? by Poromenos1 (Score:2) Sunday September 10 2006, @10:27AM
      • Re:2000 years? by Legion303 (Score:2) Sunday September 10 2006, @10:31PM
    • 2 replies beneath your current threshold.

  • So how long... (Score:1)

    by benplaut (993145) on Sunday September 10 2006, @03:49AM (#16074859)
    History of blogs getting /.ed after their owners decide to submit an article?
    bad publicity!

  • The Egyptians are going to be pissed (Score:3, Interesting)

    by prgrmr (568806) on Sunday September 10 2006, @03:51AM (#16074861)
    (Last Journal: Friday March 03 2006, @04:00PM)
    Not only were they left out, the Romans got the credit for inventing the blog even though the Egyptians were blogging in the pyramids millenia before Rome was even pitched as a VC bid.

  • Short version (Score:2, Insightful)

    by kbox (980541) on Sunday September 10 2006, @04:01AM (#16074887)
    (http://googtube.blogspot.com/)
    In short "Writing stuff down has been around a while".. Real? Wow. Deep.....

  • Lore Sjoberg (Score:3, Informative)

    by nganju (821034) on Sunday September 10 2006, @04:03AM (#16074890)
    Lore Sjoberg is probably best known for his hilarious, now defunct website Brunching Shuttlecocks, and the "Ratings" column he used to write on that website. You can still read the past columns right here [bookofratings.com]. The ones about classic video games and Dungeons & Dragons characters are especially funny.

  • The only good blog post ... (Score:2)

    by dangitman (862676) on Sunday September 10 2006, @04:29AM (#16074936)
    Is a dead blog post.

  • No comment? (Score:1)

    by RealGrouchy (943109) on Sunday September 10 2006, @04:35AM (#16074944)
    I find it quite appropriate that on a story about blogs, all of the comments are below my viewing threshold.

    - RG>
    • Re:No comment? by daniil (Score:3) Sunday September 10 2006, @04:48AM
    • Big deal by Poromenos1 (Score:2) Sunday September 10 2006, @10:30AM
      • Re:Big deal by jZnat (Score:2) Sunday September 10 2006, @11:17AM
        • Re:Big deal by Poromenos1 (Score:2) Monday September 11 2006, @09:22AM

  • Great introduction, there. (Score:2, Funny)

    by Weatherman-au (572907) on Sunday September 10 2006, @04:49AM (#16074963)
    (http://www.weatherman-au.com/)
    While blogging has only reached prominence in the last few years, it was actually invented by the ancient Romans who built a majestic blog in 200 BC from marble, granite and links they stole from the Greeks.

    "Blog" itself is short for "weblog," which is short for "we blog because we weren't very popular in high school and we're trying to gain respect and admiration without actually having to be around people."

    Oh come on, now. When you consider the fact that a blog is nothing more than someone's diary, posted online, it seems a bit puerile to suggest that it's been around for thousands of years. Well of COURSE it has. It just wasn't called a blog then.

    And as he mentioned in the second sentence of the FA, blog is short for WEBlog. Shouldn't he then need to say how the WEB was invented during the last 20 years?

    I know, I know, blah blah creative license blah blah, but this just seems like a really cheap writing trick. [/style nazi]

  • Nothing new here, move along. (Score:1)

    by Pao|o (92817) on Sunday September 10 2006, @05:22AM (#16075018)
    It is funny because it is true. I'm surprised that no mention of Linux was part of the Slashdot ultimate blog entry.

  • Hmmm, what can I say here... (Score:3, Informative)

    by ElVaquero (867318) on Sunday September 10 2006, @06:27AM (#16075101)
    (http://www.keikaku.net/)
    AMD, SCO patent MP3 over TCP/IP, sue ATI, EA. Microsoft probably responsible somehow.

  • Accurate (Score:2)

    by mabu (178417) on Sunday September 10 2006, @10:01AM (#16075650)
    My favorite is:

    Digg: Hey, cool, someone wrote an article about Digg!

    I'd add to that also, "btw, here's a story from three years ago on the front page!"

  • The Romans? (Score:1)

    by kbox (980541) on Sunday September 10 2006, @11:29AM (#16076123)
    (http://googtube.blogspot.com/)
    While blogging has only reached prominence in the last few years, it was actually invented by the ancient Romans who built a majestic blog in 200 BC from marble
    All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and Blogs, what have the Romans ever done for us?
    • Re:The Romans? by Sage Gaspar (Score:2) Sunday September 10 2006, @04:05PM

  • Boing Boing (Score:1)

    by taursir (861098) on Sunday September 10 2006, @06:08PM (#16077791)
    Spot on. Maybe the thing was crocheted at Burning Man?

  • The signature (Score:2)

    by saskboy (600063) on Sunday September 10 2006, @08:18PM (#16078184)
    (http://www.misscellania.com/ | Last Journal: Monday October 29, @11:47PM)
    I thought the signature was the funniest part:
    "Born helpless, nude and unable to provide for himself, Lore Sjöberg eventually overcame these handicaps to become a handyman, a handicapper and a handmaiden."

    I think I better put that in my blog! And yes I'm going to be blogging about this!

  • You won't see a single ad on my blog.

    Is it just me, or does anyone else think that your life is not enhanced by trying to always sell crap to everyone all the time?

    The best Web 2.0 for me would be a throwback to a time when advetisers had not yet discovered the net. Now there's a concept - an advertising free backbone! Call it Web -2!

    [ Parent ]

  • Re:Ultimate Post (Score:2)

    by Khyber (864651) <khyberkitsune@gmail.com> on Sunday September 10 2006, @07:30AM (#16075187)
    (Last Journal: Saturday November 10, @03:30PM)
    No, the ancient ultimate blog post would be more like major announcements posted up in the town centre or read aloud during town meetings, and would involve new laws, taxes, the state of war if they're in one, slave trading, and wanted criminals, among other minor town or country-related things.
    [ Parent ]
  • 3 replies beneath your current threshold.

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