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User Journal

Journal Journal: [Danny Says] Who wants flies? 5

Danny: Why should I?
Me: You get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.
Danny: Who wants flies?
Me: I have no idea.

User Journal

Journal Journal: [Sophie Says]This is a sad meal! 5

Me: Sophie what's wrong?
Sophie: You got me a Happy Meal, but there's no toy... this is sad meal!
Me: I'm sorry honey... that's very sad.
Sophie: You will be sorry.

User Journal

Journal Journal: [Danny Says] Danny's Fool Proof Excuse 10

Recently the family was at a hotel. I asked Danny to get me my shoes his reply was, "No. I can't. I'm naked." He was, in fact, naked at that point.

Several days later I asked him to do something:

Me: Danny, beer me!

Danny: No, I can't. I'm naked.

Me: (looking at him) No you aren't. You're totally wearing clothes.

Danny: Not anymore.

And then Danny was naked. In my living room. Naked as the day he was untimely ripp'd from mother's womb.


No, I can't. I'm naked.


You have to admit it's a pretty good excuse.

User Journal

Journal Journal: **No Title** 15

So. I was really bored of seeing that other topic. So I started this one. It's not really a topic. It's place holder.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Replying to JEs 6

I don't seem to be able to respond to JEs! Punishment for spending time with Multiply? Hmmmm.

User Journal

Journal Journal: [Multiply] FINE - Update 4

OK, I did it. Now leave me alone!

Fucking fantastic... now I can't sign in at all!

User Journal

Journal Journal: What Is Anna Dead From? 18

What killed Anna Nicole Smith?

Broken heart?
Same drug mix that killed her son?
Howard K Stern?

User Journal

Journal Journal: [Danny Says] Pajamas 7

Me: Buddy, put your jammies on.
Danny: I'm too lazy and I can't float.
Me: fluh

User Journal

Journal Journal: Bill Gates Begs To Be Cracked On Vista 6

In a recent interview here Bill Gates had this to say about security:

Nowadays, security guys break the Mac every single day. Every single day, they come out with a total exploit, your machine can be taken over totally. I dare anybody to do that once a month on the Windows machine.

Listen closely! Can you hear the soft whirring of hard drives loading nessus in Norway and China :)

User Journal

Journal Journal: My VOIPmare 13

I have been looking into hosted VOIP for a little over one year. My company is spread across the US ( with offices from 4 people to 250. I do not have an IT staff that can support the phone systems we have and I need VOIP to attract the best talent in travel. Also this is an excellent opprotunity to upgrade all my switches, routers and add redundancy into an aging and non redundant network held together with SonicWALLs and slender GPOs. I have been through literally 37 different vendors from huge companies to startups. I have done ROIs and TCOs until I can recite them. I know everything that can happen to a VOIP call from a warble to a drop.

I narrowed it down to 2 companies.

Company A has a nation-wide network with PoPs in all the NFL cities and uses a Nortel/Cisco platform. From the outset they have consistently given me inconsistent answers. I am constantly having to ask the same questions over an over. Do we own the phones at the end of 5 years? Are there really VOIP guys on the ground in all the NFL cities? Company A also has a very easy to understand payment plan. In a nutshell give me X dollars per seat we'll give you phones, switches, routers and T1s.

Company B is a New York centric company that is highly regarded in the trades. They run a Cisco/Cisco platform. They have PoP through a 3rd party. They were originally asking us to purchase our own switches and phones. They are plain speakers and are all techs who know their products. They have a system and they run it. They don't deviate from it very much but they made several consessions to get our business.

In the past week I have come to find that Company A either confused or being less than truthful. I will not own the phones at the end of five years. Which is good and bad. Good because I won't own phones at the end of 5 years and bad because I'll be paying for them forever. I have also come to find they do NOT have VOIP guys on the groud everywhere. They will need to outsource some of their jobs. I have no problem with contracting... I have been a contractor! Why it has taken a year to get this answer is my problem. There are other smaller issues.

Initially I thought Company B was infintely more technologically skilled than Company A. I think now Company A may be more technologically adept with a better network but I simply don't have any confidence with them. At the end of the day I suspect either company can do this job. I just don't think I can deal with Company A.

The sad part is if Company A had been prompt and correct with their answers I'd probably already be using them.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Saturday Morn @ The Moran's 2

Lynda: Want tea?
Me: Yeah. *strum strum strum*
Lynda: Sugar?
Me: No.
Lynda: So two sugars?
Me: No sugar.
Lynda: Sugar?
Me: No, no sugar.
Lynda: I'll put sugar in.
Me: *strumstrumstrumstrum*
Lynda: Don't you play "I Used To Love Her" menacingly at me mister!
Me: I hate sugar.

User Journal

Journal Journal: [Book Review] Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff 8

Lamb is an excellent book and I really can't recommend it enough. Lest we forget it was recommended to me by ShadowWrought.

While you need not be a Bible or History Scholar to really "get" this book it helps some. There are sly nods and asides that you'll know get if you know the New Testament and generalities about Christ that are hysterical. On the history side you must be willing to forget a few things like Kung Fu being invented long AFTER Christ was dead... but come on you need to know what Christ would do if he knew Kung Fu!

And that's Chris Moore's style in a nutshell. The entire book is written from Biff's (Levi Who Is Called Biff) recollection in a very offhand sarcastic (Biff invented Sarcasm) manner that is fun and easy to read. I found Chris Moore stylistically closest to BB King. That's right, BB King. Moore, like King knows when to shut up.

And fear not Christians this is gentle text and while not for the prudish or moral maniacs it is not a Christian bashing book in any way. In fact it's a nice look at Jesus (or Josh) as a human being. And should you be a Buddhist there a really well done section in the book for you too. Other religions don't fare nearly as well but Christ if the section on The Untouchables doesn't make you laugh out loud, you might be dead.

I don't want to give away a lot I just want to highly recommend this book. I got mine from Amazon but you can probably get it used or whatever really cheap. Worth whatever you pay for it.

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