I know that it was a short work week, but dammit I am still glad that its Friday.

Next week will be HELL!

And CM is locked down, the victim of /. author moderation. Oh well.

These are old... I know. But they were funny then and they
still are funny now.

Example #1

Example #2

Example #3

Example #4

Today is the first day back after 1.5 weeks break from work. Let's see how much I get accomplished this short work week.

I need to set up a RTCW server here, anyone want to help use up my company's bandwidth?

Not a whole lot of things really piss me off, but there are a few, and racism is one of them. First, I am going to tell you what it is that i refer to as racism. Any blind discrimination against an individual due to color, religion, backround, sexual preference, age, disibility, or any other classification that the ignorant sector of our population places people into. Next, i am going to tell you what i think about it. I think that it is disgusting that any human being would ever discriminate against any other human being based on anything other then personal character. If you meet someone and get to know who they really are, and dislike them, that's fine by me, but if you see someone and automatically judge them based upon any insignifigant piece of information you have about them, whether it be race, religion, or any other aspect about them, you deserve a harsh thrashing. It's shocking that there is such a large following for groups like the Ku Klux Klan, and Neo-Nazi organizations. From my experience there is only one organization fighting back with full force against this plague, and that is the ARA. You can click the logo below to access the ARA website.

It's about time we started doing something about people like this, who are ruining the earth by spreading blind hate. People are slaughtered on a day to day basis due to the color of thier skin, or thier religious beliefs, or anything else a biggot can find wrong with them. If this kind of evil is not put to an end, it will become more and more rampant. Groups like the KKK are fighting harder then ever, and are more active then ever. So we have to as well to stop them.

Something else i would like to comment on is the tolerance of these types of organizations. In Jasper County, Texas, James Byrd, Jr., an african-american, was dragged to his death by a pickup truck driven by three white men whom are thought to have links to the KKK and other white supremist organizations. Just weeks after this killing, factions of the KKK were given a permit by Jasper County to hold a rally outside of the Jasper Courthouse. I wrote an email to Kay Baily Hutchinson about this disgrace, and have yet to recieve a response. It seems obvious that our "leaders" have no intention of stopping this behavior, placing this responsibility in our hands.

One of the most unjust things i can think of is rasing a child to hate. And it's happening more and more. Racist parents are teaching thier children not to play with kids that are black, or not to associate with other kids that are jewish, or not be around other kids for countless other meaningless differences, and teach them that there is something wrong with these people. This treatment has to stop. This is one of the worst types of child abuse there is. It is certainly not the children's fault, and if they are raised so that this is all that they know, then they too will breed hate in society. They learn that the right thing to do is to hide behind a white hood and this allows them to say and do anything that there closed minds can think up. It is a true pity that any parent would raise a child purposfully ignorant.

Another issue i would like to address is the skinhead movement. The news media, and the public in general seem to think that any skinhead is a racist. This is very far from the truth. The fact behind the matter is that the original skinheads in England broadcasted a tough image, an image that Nazi recruiters thought would fit thier new recruits well. They went to many nations in Europe, and to America, and began recruiting Nazi youth, and having them shave their heads. True skinheads are often strongly opposed to these racist imitators. Two such men were killed in the deseerts of Nevada outside Las Vegas. To visit thier memorial, click here. A simple way to tell if a skinhead is a racist or not is to simply confront them. Ask them about it, and see what there reaction is. Racists will generally have nothing to say about it and act rudely, while most real skinheads will be happy to explain. They will also normally have patches of bands on a jacket or something similar, while their nazi counterparts will generally display schwastickas or KKK emblems.

Last day of work before 10 days off! w00t!

I sure hope that I don't go online or even turn on my computer during this holiday break.

Pants are coming off, starting.......... NOW!

It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my ass cheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butt hair dwelling.

Eventually I would have to do two things: Either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be- Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn babe. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over. Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted.

For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two ass cheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class.

Eventually, thought, it would dry. Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit-molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch.

God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm. Unfortunately, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought:

It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair Ventilation.

I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my ass cheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out he window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

Friends- DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!

There are 2 documented cases in which people who HAPPENED to read Slashdot did questionable acts (one committed suicide, the other (a group) committed murder). In both cases, the readers were also social outcasts and cocaine addicts, and had been so before beginning reading. The second case is notable because they made a movie about it ("The Crying Game", I think), and because the people actually tried to claim the Slashdot had warped their minds. Sorta like the twinkie defense, I guess.

Anton Levei's "The Satanic Bible", a book VERY LOOSELY based on the first case. In this book, a whole slew of folks who read together have their lives ruined, and one commits suicide. The book uses the fictional weblog Adequacy as a linking element for their individual problems, but for the most part, Slashdot gets blamed by readers. Many people believe this story really happened, and are adamant about it.
Jon Katz, who will get a very big surprise when he dies and finds himself descending. It disgusts me that a pop icon has nothing better to do than pick on homosexuals, Hindus, and gamers (and all in the same show, no less). Anyways, Jon has in all likelihood no idea how write a story, and is just freaked out by the "Satanic symbols" on the book cover.

BTW, for folks who are not Slashdotters, this IS how weblogs like Slashdot (and it is not the only one of its kind, thank god) ARE read: a bunch of people sit around a table with laptop. Each of the people has a dildobelt which they control, deciding his/her actions as they moderate. One player, called "Goatse", referee, or whatever, commands the readers to spank him and tell him that he is a very bad Taco.

I've read Slashdot (the proper verb for being a Linux zealot) for 10 years now, and I started at a very impressionable age. I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that my psyche has suffered.