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Guide to Slashdot 227

calibanDNS pointed us to unOfficial H4X0r'$ Guide to Slashdot. This is one of the funniest bits I've read in recent memory. It's nice to get a good belly laugh on a friday afternoon, and this one will provide it.
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Guide to Slashdot

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  • by Anonymous Coward
    three in one week! muhahahahahhahahahha
  • by pq ( 42856 )
    Whoa, this was in yesterday's quickies! This is getting out of hand - we really need that "query-is-link-a-repeat" function going...

  • Not my demographic-- been a long time since I was 14. H4Xor's.. whatever. Get a l1f3.
  • I think we should all follow this guide to the letter for this particular trend. Unfortunately, it's too late for me to claim first post, and I forgot to post as an Anonymous Coward, thus being susceptible to karma moderation. I also have a spellchecker in my head which prevents me to write l3y3k +|-|33s n B 4 tru 31337!!!!!!!!

    Life is tough. If only I had a gimmick like the statue or the grits guys, I could be a true h4ck3r...

  • by Powers ( 118325 ) on Friday December 03, 1999 @10:36AM (#1481963)
    No, not because of the article. I'm frightened because I'm starting to be able to read '1337 5p34k' without having to think about it.

    Now that's scary.

    Powers&8^]

  • (as i'm sure many of us are thinking) people'd get the point and actually give up that kind of stuff. geez!

    In the Flamebait section, they could have added "be the Devil's Advocate," "bring taboo subjects into play," and.. this could have been a whole other enumerated item in itself: "Post as much and as often as possible to every article that you have time to do." The more Anonymous Cowards in this world, the better!

  • And its long been part of Issue9mm [slashdot.org]'s (the author's) signature.


    i dont display scores, and my threshhold is -1. post accordingly.
  • by toast0 ( 63707 ) <slashdotinducedspam@enslaves.us> on Friday December 03, 1999 @10:41AM (#1481967) Homepage
    the authors of this article are obviously microsoft sympathizers trying to get us to screw up slashdot for the powers of freeBSD!!!!!!

    oops forgot to hit post anonymously
  • Well, not really, but nobody else has claimed it yet... I could parse most of the silly words, but 1337 got past me. (My fault for being over 30, I guess.) What is it?
  • by pabs ( 1629 ) <pabs@pablotron.org> on Friday December 03, 1999 @10:43AM (#1481970) Homepage
    • Gotta have something about selecting all of the modular slashboxes for your user account, just so you can drag slashdot to a screaming halt and waste other lusers time.

    • Don't forget the HUGE cryptic geek blocks or arbitrarily complex self-decrypting perl code that prints "Hi Mom!" when executed. Use this as your signature.

    • Post everythign as html formatted, and leave an unterminated font modifier tag at the begining of the message.

    • use gratuitous

      <BR>

      tags to make your

      document seem really long (and therefore important)

    • graduly hvae the spellnign and grammar deterate by arbitrly omitng vwls nd missplng wrdz.

    • use lots of cryptic abbreviateions and assume people understand what you're talking about.

    • don't justify any of your arguments. if someone responds asking you to support your statements, respond by posting 200 anonymous messages making derogatory comments about the poster's mother.



    -- rot13 my email address for the real thing
  • not much more to say than that...

    Had a good chuckle, thanks guys!
  • by Anonymous Coward
    Guys.. This is probably the first time this person has been "on topic". And well, he does have a point..
  • Testing, testing...
  • You know what scares me?

    I'm finding it easier and easier to read 1337-5p33k. I need a long holiday somewhere where there aren't any computers.

    *shudder*
  • by Travoltus ( 110240 ) on Friday December 03, 1999 @10:46AM (#1481975) Journal

    "but all the 1337357 know that all the REAL moderation is done within the first 5 minutes or so."

    Compare this to http://slashdot.org/moderation.shtml:

    Post early:
    If an article has over a certain number of posts on it already yours is less likely to be moderated. This is, less likely both statistically (there are more to choose from) and due to positioning (as a moderator I have to actually find your post waaay at the end of a long list.)


    Sometimes the truth is best told in jest.....

    (And no I am *not* advocating the stuff they say on that page....lol I read all the way to the bottom and my soul will NOT go to AOL!!)
  • If that is the unofficial guide, we should have an official H4X0r'$ Guide to Slashdot.

    Step 1: Hack Microsoft

  • Free Kevin!
    Micro$oft 5ux5!
    Use FreeBSD!
    Go Red Socks!
    ... uh, nevermind. I can't keep this up.
  • Where is the tutorial/HOWTO for reading all numletters?

    I must not be a 1337 anything because I can't even read it Well, maybe I am. You can be something without knowing how to read it. Take 'illiterate' as an obvious example (unless you are illiterate, then I don't know what to tell you and you wouldn't know what I told you anyway).

    Back to the point -- I have been able to figure out what almost everything else means, but I think it's the 1 and the 7 that are throwing me off.

    I need some translations please!!!

    I can't read 31337 either for obvious reasons.

    I was able to figure out what 5p34k was just fine.

    PEACE
  • by Pike ( 52876 ) on Friday December 03, 1999 @10:48AM (#1481980) Homepage Journal
    I liked that trick best...

    --Birds take off at sunrise. On the opposite side of the world, they are landing
    at sunset. This causes the earth to spin on its axis.
  • use the 120 char max as a luser exploit by allowing it to partially mutilate an anchor tag. this should screw up slashdot for everyone, and make you look uber 31337.



    -- rot13 my email address for the real thing
  • Looks like if you put a fake score in your subject, it deletes the header on the comment... Hmm...
  • by Pathetic Coward ( 33033 ) on Friday December 03, 1999 @10:50AM (#1481983)
    No Katz flames ...
  • 1337... as in 31337
    leet and eleet
  • by Otto ( 17870 )
    Really screwy...

    Perhaps it's just deleting the (Score: 2) thing to keep people from mucking it about..
    ---
  • I was more frightened to learn I could type in said "1337 5p34k" without thinking about it. 3 and e are pretty close on the qwerty, ya know...

    The Good Reverend
  • Well, not really, but nobody else has claimed it yet... I could parse most of the silly words, but 1337 got past me. (My fault for being over 30, I guess.) What is it?

    elite -> eleet -> 'leet -> 1337

    Get it? :)
  • 1337 = leet = eleet = elite = wannabe = thought the movie "Hackers" defined their generation = people with subscriptions to 2600 who don't understand 90 percent of all the articles and send letters asking how they can get credit card numbers = kids with keyboards who need to be spanked.
  • by Otto ( 17870 ) on Friday December 03, 1999 @10:56AM (#1481993) Homepage Journal
    Well, this at least exposed a bug on /.

    The subject of this message was supposed to be "(Score: -80,000)" without the quotes. But as you can see /. makes it go away entirely, thus leaving nothing to click on in the list. A tad annoying I'd say.

    Obviously it's looking for a (Score: xxx) type of thing at the end of the Subject line, but if there's nothing in front of that, it just leaves an empty subject.

    Still, very funny.


    ---

  • For obvious light hearted trollbait stories like this, which I am not against at all, can you disable moderation, or not count moderation in these areas against posters? One wouldn't want to lose their karma points because they let their hair down here and their remark came across as flamebait instead of funny. :)

    I'd just flag this kind of article as "un moderateable" so while people can moderate here, it won't count in general because of the nature of the story....

    Thanks!
  • I believe it's spelled "r3t4rd3d".

    Is there an official alphabet page somewhere so I can learn their "k3wl" language?
  • 1 is for l
    7 is for t
    so 1337 is leet and 31337 is eleet. They consider themselves top hackers because they can type like that.
  • >>I could parse most of the silly words, but 1337 got past me. (My fault for being over 30, I guess.) What is it?

    Don't worry. I'm under 30, and I had to think it through.

    Near as I can tell 1-L, 3=E, 4=A, 5=S, 7=T, 8="ate", 0=O, and $=S. No doubt there are others.

    So 1337 is LEET, which is short for "elite", you know?

    *sigh* I remember when all the silly typists were still looking for \-Rad warz, d00d. All these young hipsters are just making me feel so old!
  • Moderators know to smile a little, just as they do when moderating one of those goofy polls...

    JD
  • ------ ----- ---- --- -------
    | | | \ / \ |
    | | | / \ |
    |-- | ---- --- |
    | | | \ \ |
    | | | \ / |
    | ----- - \ \--- -

    ---- --- --- ------- !!!
    | \ / \ / \ | !!!
    | / | | \ | !!!
    |--- | | --- | !!!
    | | | \ | !
    | \ / / |
    | --- \--- | O

    (man I love Fridays!!,)

    (doh, I guess slash doesn't like all my spaces :(, oh well, this was supposed to be a REAL BIG FIRST POST, screw it, it's still Friday)
  • 1 = L, or I
    3 = E
    4 = A
    5 = S
    6 = G
    7 = T
    8 = B
    / |_| = U
    |) = D

    Any others I am missing?

    The K may not have looked right with HTML tags..

  • I set this firewall up, and the last friggen thing I would want to do would be hack it. I just wish I hadn't shown my boss that little filtration function...grrrr...
  • Always mention how cool the subject would be on a Beowulf Cluster.
  • Thanks a heap pabs, I'll add that in as soon as I'm done getting slashdotted...

  • Uh-oh, now you've done it, you explained it to the masses.

    Now 1337-5p34k is going to feel the slashdot affect. Too many people can read it, so time to accelerate the word morphing process. And there's nothing more dangerous (?) than having the entire h4X0r community irritated at you for explaining their language.
  • You're obviously not doing it right. :)
    ---
    pb Reply or e-mail rather than vaguely moderate [152.7.41.11].
  • by Anonymous Coward
    Did anyone catch the copyright notice at the bottom of the page?

    Copyright 1994-1999 Issue9mm

    Damn, he's been working on that a long time! :)
  • kids with keyboards who need to be spanked.

    What good would spanking a keyboard do?

    (Yah, yah, I know, I'm tired...)
  • I always use lex and other useful tools to generate my elite speak. Of course, my scripts could use some updating. Get the b1ff filter, and have fun from there. I also do simple character replacement, and random letter capitalization. I'm sure this could all be unified, redone in perl, or whatever your little heart desires as well.

    Or, alternatively:

    i @lwAYz u5e LEX + OtHuR kool +oolz tO GeNur8 my elI+E zPE@k, Of cOuRzE, MY zKr1P+z CouLD u5e 5uM uPdAtINg! Get tHe B1fF FILtuR, + gOt FuN fruM +hEY'RE. 1 Al5O DO 5iMpLe ch@RAc+uR RepLACument, + r@nDom lettuR CApIt@L1z@zhun. Im 5Hur th15 COuld AL B uNIF1ed, RedONE iN PurL, or wu+EVuR uR Lit+lE hERe+ DEz1Rez Az wEL


    ---
    pb Reply or e-mail rather than vaguely moderate [152.7.41.11].
  • I think you mean "r474rd00d"


    Wil
    --
    Internet Meta-Resources [nakedape.cc]:

  • by Anonymous Coward
    (Score; 6, Interesting)

    NO CARRIER
  • by Anonymous Coward
    MODERATE THIS UP!

    I *hate* the frickin' "Offtopic" fiends on slashdot! If you can't get to the link for the *story*, I'd say that's pretty ON TOPIC.

    Read the frickin' moderator's guide again, or have your rights for it revoked permanently.

    It says: "It's better to moderate *UP* the good comments, and reserve judgement on the other ones, except for the really bad grits-pouring, statue making, obviously offtopic, first-post-claiming, natalie portman is my bitch wishing, 31337 d00d posing, clueless posts, which deserve to be moderated down to -837,425."

    Paraphrasing, of course. :)

    Or did you read the story and think that *that* was the Moderator's guide? Now it's all starting to make sense to me...

    ---
    Posting anonymously out of moderator mistrust.
  • by betaray ( 1268 )
    Hrm, this in and of itself looks like a bug. Oh well. Just a way to have a little null subject fun!
  • by Issue9mm ( 97360 ) on Friday December 03, 1999 @11:18AM (#1482023)
    It appears that my humble little site is already slashdotted. If anyone else wants to view the site, I've got a mirror of that document here [dreamwater.com].

    P.S. Thanks to all the people who have posted possible additions to the article. I promise to review them and include (with your permission and credit of course) them in an updated version. Thanks.

  • by Issue9mm ( 97360 ) on Friday December 03, 1999 @11:22AM (#1482027)
    Here is a link [dreamwater.com] for the mirror I've got up. I anticipated the slashdot effect, but not that.

  • Thank you VERY much.
  • So it keeps chopping em, eh?
  • Actually, the site has been up in various forms since 1994. That document itself was written over the course of about 30 minutes. Strangely enough, most of the junk I did a long time ago isn't on that incarnation of the site, but I'm working on it.

  • Gee, who would have thought that posting a story like this here would have caused so many people to kick off five bagillion "first posts" and "Score 3, Insightful" posts... :)
    I guess everyone's gotta be a comedian.
  • by belgin ( 111046 ) on Friday December 03, 1999 @11:27AM (#1482033) Homepage
    Three Ply Reply
    If you can't get the first post (there's lots of 1337 competition y'know), or come in a little too late, another way to get fairly visible to threaded viewers, is to reply, as offtopic as necessary, to the highest scoring post. Yes, there's a chance that that post could be moderated back down, or another be moderated above it, but all the 1337357 know that all the REAL moderation is done within the first 5 minutes or so.

    I wish that this were not so true. I am as guilty of it as anyone else, but the moderators do not usually wait more than half an hour before the topic is "dead". If you don't read the article, make a brilliant post and generally get to the top of the view at the start, you get no karma. Even if a moderator does check the thing "later in the day", (s)he rarely seems to note anything below the top 20-30 articles, so your only prayer of really accumulating karma is to be an obsessive reloader who has on-topic, insightful and witty posts prepared for every possible article on the net.

    I don't like it because I have a job that I try to do too...

    Oh... Wait... Obsessive reloaders aren't supposed to be moderators...

    B. Elgin

  • I just have to test this, even if it will add those nasty karma points ... ;-)

    YS
  • Well, it is nice to see that someone fixed that little bug, and quickly!

    :-)

    YS
  • Smack down those marginally worthy posts by replying anonymously with any variety of "Moderate this up" encouraging retallation against this suspect karma-pander.

    Even though the second principal is no karma, some mention of "I know I'll be moderated down for this" disclaimers and qualifiers would be worthwhile.
  • Take your best shot, 207.138.47.66
  • Yeah. Lots. And it doesn't translate backwards properly, either.

    @ = A
    0 = O
    + = T
    Z = S

    ... and many others. And once you start using DOS high ASCII, ASCII art letters, or ANSI, you're really incomprehensible. :)

    ________________ __
    |//_\|\|\ / //\ /_
    /_\_/|\|//_//_//_

    ---
    pb Reply or e-mail rather than vaguely moderate [152.7.41.11].
  • Woo-Hoo! First post, dud3z!

    FreeBSD Rules!
    Micro$oft Ru13z!

  • by Pyrrus ( 97830 )
    I h473 h4X0r $P34X.


    dammit! now 40L owns my soul
    < br? they7nbspforgot to mention broken >HTML?

    crap! i forgtogh to poest anonamyuously.
  • Well, the (Score: 3, Interesting) got cut off, so it just looks like I am not following the thread.

    I was testing to see if the Score trick would work if you had a subject.

    B. Elgin

  • by Pope ( 17780 )
    well, it's better than that guy who constantly puts ... as his subject...

    Pope
  • by belgin ( 111046 )
    Heh, the {Score: 3, Interesting} was cut off after the {. So I am doing one more test to see if it allows "[Score: }", or if we can reliably say that the string "Score: " causes everything after to be cut off.

    B. Elgin
  • by DAVEO ( 61670 )
    you can also put only an html tag in the subject, and it will be deleted, leaving a null subject
  • Well, maybe not an Easter egg, per se, but there's an amusingly ironic example of the spelling/grammar glitchery that the article talks about hidden right there in the article itself. Anybody else but me notice it?

    I imagine that this was probably done intentionally as a crafty joke, of course. This begs the quesiton of whether there aren't other subtle, self-referential digs lurking in there for the discerning eye to pull out?

  • What about "The page has been slashdotted!"
    As if we hadn't just found that out...

    Oh yeah, and just replying to the real first post so everyone'll read your comment *coughs*.
  • by Issue9mm ( 97360 ) on Friday December 03, 1999 @11:44AM (#1482053)
    Actually, I read the quickies yesterday, and didn't see it. Granted, it's been part of my sig for awhile now, but I just checked yesterday's quickies, and didn't see it again. Maybe I'm missing something tho...

  • by say-tan ( 54534 ) on Friday December 03, 1999 @11:52AM (#1482057) Homepage
    [rant] another huge problem (imho) is that some people feel they must reply to every story featured, no matter how little they know about the subject, how obvious, or redundant it is. there are so many posts that just say "haha, that was funny!" or "wow, that's interesting." i think that anyone who reads the feature and/or links can figure out for themselves whether something is funny or not. if the poster wishes to tell someone how funny or interesting the link or story is, he/she shold tell it to someone who hasn't already read it. [/rant]

  • by pb ( 1020 ) on Friday December 03, 1999 @12:02PM (#1482065)
    ASCII ART RULES!

    To the guy who tried to do this down below:
    sed s/\ \ /'\ \&'nbsp\;/g


    ------ ----- ---- --- -------
    | | | \ / \ |
    | | | / \ |
    |-- | ---- --- |
    | | | \ \ |
    | | | \ / |
    | ----- - \ \--- -

    ---- --- --- ------- !!!
    | \ / \ / \ | !!!
    | / | | \ | !!!
    |--- | | --- | !!!
    | | | \ | !
    | \ / / |
    | --- \--- | O

    ---
    pb Reply or e-mail rather than vaguely moderate [152.7.41.11].

  • sorry, daveo had to try some things too ;0)

    does anyone know how exactly /. will take out the "(score:x)" field, and maybe if there are any escape characters to thwart it?

    the "score" would be a link in thread mode, anyway, so it would not appear to have the desired effect, unless an ending anchor tag would be used, which is impossible

  • Nope, I'm too stupid to see it. Pointers?


    Wil
    --
    Internet Meta-Resources [nakedape.cc]:

  • Huh, and I thought to be real 1337, ya had to fsck Natalie Portman in every post.

    Not only that, no REAL 1337 would bother posting to slashdot. He'd use his scripts to post for him. He's much too busy looking at pr0n to be bothered.

    Oh, BTW, ZEROTH POST!
  • {tongue in cheek}
    I am SO disappointed - i expected to see some REAL hacker tips - this is a bunch of script kiddie mumbo jumbo. KIDS - download the /. source and reverse engineer what's not up to date; then you'll be a TRUE hacker.
    {/tongue in cheek}
  • You know, people are going to look at your past comments and say "FIRST POST!!!! - score 4? WTF?"

    Heh. If nothing else, this article gives us a chance to really confuse people looking at comments a week from now.
  • Perhaps Rob could make it so moderation didn't start taking place until either x minutes or x posts (whichever comes first) after an article is posted.

    I think that might be a good way to ensure at least the "Insightful" articles are actually "Insightful" not just first in line with a decent idea.
  • by Robin Hood ( 1507 ) on Friday December 03, 1999 @12:13PM (#1482076) Homepage
    Inspiration just struck, I don't know why.

    Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
    What's the largest site of all?
    With articles and posts galore,
    Seeking for the highest (Score: )
    As moderators sift and sort,
    Giving good posts just reward.
    Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
    What's the largest site of all?

    Mirror, mirror, on the 'Net,
    What's the geekiest site yet?
    "Stuff that Matters," "News for Nerds,"
    Aren't just empty slogan words.
    Linux, Windows, BSD,
    All discussed bellig'rently.
    Mirror, mirror, on the 'Net,
    What's the geekiest site yet?

    Yet Slashdot's feared, or so it seems,
    By webmasters of modest means.
    For if there should appear a link
    On Slashdot, then lo! Ere a blink
    Of time should pass, thousands of geeks
    Will click on it. And then, such creaks
    Of servers grinding to a halt:
    Those 404's are Slashdot's fault!

    And so, oh mirror, duplicate
    My page, lest it evaporate.
    For Slashdot linked to it, you know,
    And now my server's awfully slow.

    Hope you enjoyed it.
    -----
    The real meaning of the GNU GPL:

  • "who" refers to people, i.e., kids. "what would refer to keyboards.

    ID-10T Error: Are you sure it's plugged in?


    Wil
    --
    Internet Meta-Resources [nakedape.cc]:

  • by Issue9mm ( 97360 ) on Friday December 03, 1999 @12:23PM (#1482079)
    Y'know guys, I think somehow I'm being robbed by this. I just realized that I wrote the article, and submitted it about a week ago, and didn't get anything. Now CalibanDNS submits it, and HE'S going to get a free T-Shirt. What's the world coming to?!? I would so desperately like a free T-Shirt. It's getting cold where I live, and I don't have anything to wear, since Natalie Portman ate my hot grits.
  • some moderator (who probably didn't read the article and thought this forum was overly trollish) marked me down as a troll though


    i didnt' realize about that though, bonus points for confusing the heck out of people?
  • Should be:
    Jesus Saves! But Gretzky scores on the rebound.

    I'm assuming I'm not going get blasted by the mighty moderators for posting offtopic since this appears to be the only thread to ever show up on /. where anything goes!



    That's what I love about them high-school girls. I get older, they stay the same age... yes they do.
    --Wooderson 1976
  • If I have moderator access, I try and read from the bottom to move new unreconginzed stuff upward - perhaps if modereators had articles sorted by score ascending instead of descending. It would make your read a little rougher, but then it would also make you more interested in using the moderator points to get back to the standard view...

  • by JimBobJoe ( 2758 ) <swiftheart&gmail,com> on Friday December 03, 1999 @12:31PM (#1482087)
    First posts have of course overstayed their welcome, but I would be far more impressed by the more disreputable slashdotters if they went through all the archives and added last posts to already closed discussion threads. That would at least take some energy.
  • ||
    ||
    || ------ ---&nb sp;-

    next time try the always-useful &nbsp; (No Break SPace) thing. /. allows that fine.
    I tried using <pre> but that is apparently just one of the many useful tags /. does not allow, along with <code>.

    For some odd reason whenever you try to post something on slashdot with &-based symbols, when you preview it converts all the &-based symbols in the html form you're typing into into their symbol equivilents. I keep having to copy and paste. Maybe this is just a bug in MSIE4/macintosh.
    I wish they'd allow a few more HTML tags.

  • Nope, I'm too stupid to see it. Pointers?
    Why certainly:
    open(STDIN, "-|")&&exec${chr 3*2**3*2>>1}=>-(-(-pe))=>$_
    for(qw)y/a-z/n-za-m/ /oevorq/&&y/z//d))[root,~0&1,tchrist]; exec
    reverse lc
    reverse(substr("LMTH.TODHSALS/MOC.SREVRESEERF.MM9E USSI//:PTTH",1)),
    UVFYE
    ^ "x2345" x2345 ** -(-(-x2345)), PERL
    ^ "<<<4"
    Enjoy. :-)
  • Ah, thank you for posting that article slashdot.
    I needed a good laugh today. It even inspired me
    to change my sig.

  • Im surprised the page didn't list the super secret SID trick. For example, try this URL:

    http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=w ahiscool [slashdot.org]. (Hi Wah! [slashdot.org])

    /joeyo

  • On a related note... if the previous article has lots of posts and is quickly increasing, it usually means you have a slightly longer time to play around with newer articles (as most people would be sluggin' out flamewars in that popular article, and the moderators would take some time before they moved on to newer articles.) Quick, grab the chance! :-)

  • Ok, how's this:

    ................................................ ...............
    .RRRr..EEEEE....A....L.....L.....Y...Y.......BBB b...III...gGg..
    .R...R.E.......A.A...L.....L.....Y...Y.......B.. .B...I...G...G.
    .R...R.E......A...A..L.....L.....Y...Y.......B.. .B...I...G.....
    .RRRR..EEE....A...A..L.....L......Y.Y........BBB b....I...G..GG.
    .R.R...E......AAAAA..L.....L.......Y.........B.. .B...I...G...G.
    .R..R..E.....A.....A.L.....L.......Y.........B.. .B...I...G...G.
    .R...R.EEEEE.A.....A.LLLLL.LLLLL...Y.........BBB B...III...GGG..
    ................................................ ...............
    .FFFFF..III...RRRr...sSs...TTTTT.......PPPp...oO o...sSs..TTTTT.
    .F.......I....R...R.S...S....T.........P...P.O.. .O.S...S...T...
    .F.......I....R...R.S........T.........P...P.O.. .O.S.......T...
    .FFF.....I....RRRR...SSs.....T.........PPPP..O.. .O..SSs....T...
    .F.......I....R.R.......S....T.........P.....O.. .O.....S...T...
    .F.......I....R..R..S...S....T.........P.....O.. .O.S...S...T...
    .F......III...R...R..SSS.....T.........P......OO O...SSS....T...
    ................................................ ...............

    Of course, it's not so easy if you try to enter something wider than the /. text box.
  • > You'll have a lot of time to laugh at Jesus
    > when you are burning in Hell.

    You mean he's there too?
  • C'mon you know that for every post that ever gets on /. you must consider the implications of using that thing in a Beowulf cluster.
  • To anyone that's interested, I've updated the article with a lot of your additions. I want to thank the individuals that took the time to think of things that annoyed them, and presented them forth so that I could plagiarize them. Seriously, I want to say thanks to Thanks to Pabs, Layne, Lurking Weasel, and all the others that have helped to refine this document. If I've taken anything you said, and not given credit (or a link, if you're lurking weasel), drop me a line, and I'll get it taken care of... Thanks again.
  • Dude, it's not a bug, it's a feature!

    Rob [slashdot.org] even says so!

    Jedi Hacker (Apprentice) and Code Poet
  • $UM 0F U$ L1K3 2 G3T K4RM4, $0 \/\/3 UZ3 4 SP3C14L TR1CK 4 G3TT1N6 M0D3R4T3D UP!!!!!1

    TH3 TR1CK 1Z 2 3ND Y0R P0ST W1TH "Oh well, I'll probably be moderated as Flamebait for this"
    0R "Go ahead and moderate this down, I don't care."

    TH3Z3 TR1CK$ W0RK, D00000DZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 U C4N B3 4 K4RM4 WH0R3!!!!!1


    1"LL PR0B4BLY G3T M0D3R4T3D D0WN 4 TH15...
    :WQ
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    ALL HA1L B1FF, TH3 M05T 31337 D00D!!!!!1
    ------ ------ ------
    ALL HA1L B1FF, TH3 M05T 31337 D00D!!!!!1
  • Where's it say he gets a free shirt?
  • The l33t Version of the "Unofficial Hax04's guide to slashdot Posted by: annonymous unÖff|c|ål H4X04' Gu|d£ tÖ låhdÖt W£lcÖm£ tÖ th£ unÖff|c|ål "H4X0r' Gu|d£ tÖ låhdÖt". Th| påg£ bÖrn Öf wåÿ tÖÖ much t|m£ Ön mÿ hånd, mÿ £v£r-dw|ndl|ng £n£ Öf humÖr, ånd å lÖw n£w dåÿ åt låhdÖt. ånÿwåÿ, b£lÖw, ÿÖu w|ll f|nd å l|t Öf åll th£ 1337357 wåÿ tÖ pÖt Ön låhdÖt. D|clå|m£r: Th| påg£ | nÖt |nt£nd£d tÖ måk£ ånÿÖn£ crÿ, unl£ thåt måk£ ÿÖu håppÿ. Råth£r, th| påg£ cr£åt£d tÖ måk£ l|ght Öf |d|Öcÿ. Th| | nÖt ån ått£mpt tÖ cÖndÖn£, tÖl£råt£, Ör måk£ mÖr£ cÖmmÖn th£ pråct|c£ Öutl|n£d b£lÖw. 1.ånÖnÿmÖu Ph£nÖm£nÖu åLWåÿ, | r£p£åt, åLWåÿ lÖg |n ånÖnÿmÖulÿ. låhdÖt u£ cÖÖk|£, ånd åll 1337 h4X0r knÖw, cÖÖk|£ cÖuld b£ u£d låt£r tÖ h4x0r u. ålÖ, |t k££p ÿÖu frÖm åccumulåt|ng kårmå (££ b£lÖw). (NÖt£: NÖ fåctuål |nfÖ n££d£d tÖ båck th| up, |t' pÖpulår th£Örÿ, wh|ch | £nÖugh fÖr m£.) 2.Kårmå ånd Gr£g R£m£mb£r thÖ£ cÖÖk|£? W£ll, |f ÿÖu th|nk cÖÖk|£ år£ båd, tåÿ th£ h£ll åwåÿ frÖm kårmå. NÖ 1337 h4X0r wÖuld b£ cåught d£åd w|th £v£n Ön£ kårmå pÖ|nt frÖm låhdÖt. Whÿ ÿÖu åk? W£ll, kårmå | Önlÿ åwård£d fÖr th£ Öl£ purpÖ£ Öf f|nd|ng thÖ£ |nd|v|duål fÖr/ågå|nt th£ Öp£n Öurc£ mÖv£m£nt, ånd tråck|ng th£|r wh£r£åbÖut, ånd th£|r åg£ndå å th£ÿ £vÖlv£. M£mb£r w|th h|gh kårmå cÖr£ håv£ th£ u£r prÖf|l£ £-må|l£d tÖ R£dHåt, wh£r£ ÿÖur |nfÖrmåt|Ön | u£d |n mårk£t|ng ch£m£ å w£ll. Th£r£ | nÖ gr£åt£r fÖrm Öf nÖÖp£rÿ thån kårmå. Tåÿ åWåÿ FRÖM KåRMå. 3.|knÖÖr chp£ll|nk Måk£ ur£ tÖ n£v£r, £v£r, £v£r cÖnult å th£åuru Ör d|ct|Önårÿ wh£n pÖt|ng ånÖnÿmÖulÿ. 1337 h4X0r ånd g|r1|3z th|nk |t' 1337 tÖ håv£ båd gråmmår. ålÖ, trÿ ånd b£ å crÿpt|c å ÿÖu cån, ånd åvÖ|d måk|ng £n£ åt åll cÖt pÖ|bl£. Th| w|ll åttråct å bunch Öf h4X0r g|r1|3z, thåt w|ll tr£åt ÿÖu l|k£ å kr|pt-k|ng. 4.F|rt PÖt F|£tå |f ÿÖu Öth£rw|£ cån't th|nk Öf å wåÿ tÖ g£t pÖt£d åt th£ tÖp, but Ö d£p£råt£lÿ wånt tÖ b£, ÿÖu cån ålwåÿ cåh |n Ön th£ F|rt PÖt cråz£. Måk£ ur£ tÖ lÖg |n ånÖnÿmÖulÿ. ÿ£, ÿÖu'll Önlÿ b£ åt th£ tÖp Öf lÖgg£d |n u£r' cr££n fÖr twÖ m|nut£ Ör Ö, but åll ÿÖur 1337 budd|£ år£ lÖgg£d |n ånÖnÿmÖulÿ, ånd th£r£fÖr£ r£åd|ng |n flåt mÖd£. Wånt th£ nåm£ r£cÖgn|t|Ön? DÖn't wÖrrÿ, th£ÿ'll knÖw whÖ ÿÖu år£. N£v£r r£fr£h b£fÖr£ ått£mpt|ng, f|rt pÖt|ng |n 7th Ör 8th, Ör £v£n 98th | w|ck£d 1337. ålwåÿ u£ 1337-5p34k wh£n pÖt|ng f|rt. 5.F|rt PÖt R£v|£d Th| jut |n... åccÖrd|ng tÖ r£l|åbl£ 1337-å-h£ll Öurc£, ÿÖu cån clå|m f|rt pÖt åt ånÿ t|m£. Th£ Önlÿ r£qu|r£m£nt b£ thåt nÖbÖdÿ £l£ hå clå|m£d |t. |f th£ åctuål f|rt pÖt£r wåt£ h| gÖld£n ÖppÖrtun|tÿ tÖ åctuållÿ pÖt Öm£th|ng |nt£ll|g|bl£ (nÖ dÖubt |n puru|t Öf kårmå, å k|£r), th£n thåt l£åv£ th£ "Fur57 PÖ57 ucKå" pÖt unclå|m£d, ånd n££d tÖ b£ tåk£n. Pl£å£, ålwåÿ tåk£ th| chånc£ tÖ clå|m whåt | r|ghtfullÿ ÿÖur. (ådd£ndum: DÖ NÖT wåt£ t|m£ åctuållÿ lÖÖk|ng tÖ måk£ ur£ thåt å f|rt pÖt | unclå|m£d, l£t ÿÖu m| ÿÖur gÖld£n ÖppÖrtun|tÿ.) 6.Thr££ Plÿ R£plÿ |f ÿÖu cån't g£t th£ f|rt pÖt (th£r£' lÖt Öf 1337 cÖmp£t|t|Ön ÿ'knÖw), Ör cÖm£ |n å l|ttl£ tÖÖ låt£, ånÖth£r wåÿ tÖ g£t få|rlÿ v||bl£ tÖ thr£åd£d v|£w£r, | tÖ r£plÿ, å ÖfftÖp|c å n£c£årÿ, tÖ th£ h|gh£t cÖr|ng pÖt. ÿ£, th£r£' å chånc£ thåt thåt pÖt cÖuld b£ mÖd£råt£d båck dÖwn, Ör ånÖth£r b£ mÖd£råt£d åbÖv£ |t, but åll th£ 1337357 knÖw thåt åll th£ R£åL mÖd£råt|Ön | dÖn£ w|th|n th£ f|rt 5 m|nut£ Ör Ö. 7.årt|cl£ chmårt|cl£ Wh£n r£plÿ|ng tÖ ån årt|cl£ thåt dÖ£n't cÖnfÖrm tÖ ÿÖur Öwn thÖught, b£ ur£ tÖ tåt£ hÖw b|å£d th£ r£pÖrt£r w£r£, ånd thåt th£ÿ år£ b£|ng br|b£d bÿ M|crÖÖft (Ör whÖm£v£r £l£ ÿÖu th|nk | £v|l). |f th£ årt|cl£ | r£ållÿ båd, åccu£ th£m Öf b£|ng Fr££BD lÖv£r (cåu£ £v£rÿbÖdÿ knÖw thåt låhdÖt | fÖr l|nux lÖv£r Önlÿ). NÖ prÖÖf n£c£årÿ. 8.|t' å lÖng wåÿ up ånÖth£r £åÿ wåÿ tÖ g£t Ön tÖp, | tÖ mårk ÿÖur årt|cl£ å flå|mbå|t. PrÖc££d tÖ tåk£ ån "ånt|-gpl" Ör "ånt|-l|nux" pÖ|t|Ön Ön mått£r, thåt måk£ ÿÖu ££m "hård-h|tt|ng" ånd "cutt|ng tÖ th£ cÖr£" Öf th£ mått£r. £v£rÿÖn£ knÖw thåt mÖd£råtÖr l|k£ tÖ b£ dår|ng bÿ måk|ng flå|mbå|t c£nt£r tåg£. 9.åutÖ-mÖd£råt|Ön Th£ n£åk|£t m£thÖd Öf g£tt|ng Ön tÖp, | tÖ tåk£ ådvåntåg£ Öf th£ r£låt|v£ |d|Öcÿ Öf mÖd£råtÖr (ÿÖu knÖw thåt th£ÿ'r£ tup|d, cåu£ th£ÿ'r£ cÖntåntlÿ årÖund, nÖt clå|m|ng f|rt pÖt, but |nt£åd trÿ|ng tÖ g£t kårmå), ånd t|tl£ ÿÖur årt|cl£ Öm£th|ng l|k£ "cÖr£ 3, |n|ghtful". Th| w|ll tr|ck th£ mÖd£råtÖr, w|th th£|r l|m|t£d |nt£ll£ct, |ntÖ th|nk|ng thåt ÿÖu'v£ ålr£ådÿ b££n mÖd£råt£d up, ånd th£ÿ'll wånt tÖ jump Ön th£ båndwågÖn, Ö tÖ p£åk. (NÖt£: tÖ b£ u£d pår|nglÿ, Ö nÖbÖdÿ w|ll cåtch Ön.) ådd£ndum: Måk£ åbÖlut£lÿ ur£ thåt ÿÖu år£ lÖgg£d |n ånÖnÿmÖulÿ wh£n dÖ|ng th|, Ör ÿÖu måÿ b£g|n tÖ åccumulåt£ dr£åd£d kårmå pÖ|nt. Updåt£ åft£r håv|ng håd th| påg£ f£åtur£d å ån årt|cl£ Ön låhdÖt, ånd r£v|£w|ng th£ cÖmm£ntårÿ ubm|tt£d, |'v£ måd£ ån ådd£nd£m tÖ th| årt|cl£. Th£ ådd|t|Ön år£ pÖt£d b£lÖw. 1.låhbÖx|ng GlÖv£ |f ÿÖu'r£ t|r£d Öf trÿ|ng tÖ g£t |ntÖ th£ tÖp 10 tÖr|£, ånd jut wånnå måk£ £v£rÿÖn£ £l£ uff£r, th£n trÿ th|: G£n£råt£ å u£r åccÖunt, ånd £d|t ÿÖur pr£f£r£nc£ tÖ Öp£n £v£rÿ |ngl£ låhbÖx mÖdul£ åvå|låbl£. Th| w|ll £ff£ct|v£lÿ br|ng låhdÖt' £rv£r tÖ |t kn££, måk|ng £V£RÿÖN£ £l£ uff£r. NÖt£, dÖ nÖt pÖt ånÿ cÖmm£nt, å ÿÖu'll b£ lÖgg£d |n nÖw, ånd w£ åll knÖw åbÖut thåt. |nt£åd, jut k££p r£fr£h|ng l|k£ å mådmån. 2.G££k CÖd£ |f ÿÖu åbÖlut£lÿ mut |gn |n, fÖr whåt£v£r r£åÖn, åt l£åt måk£ ur£ tÖ l£åv£ å lÖng |g. |'v£ fÖund thåt th£ G££kCÖd£ | p£rf£ct. Tåk£ up å lÖt Öf påc£, åÿ nÖth|ng, ånd ÿÖu cån måk£ Ön£ up Öff Öf th£ tÖp Öf ÿÖur h£åd, ånd nÖbÖdÿ w|ll £v£n nÖt|c£. |f th£ÿ dÖ nÖt|c£, Ö whåt? Th£ÿ'r£ jut å bunch Öf kårmå whÖr£, whåt dÖ£ th£|r Öp|n|Ön mått£r? 3.BÖld|fÿ |f ÿÖu jut wånt tÖ cåu£ å rucku, Ör Öth£r m£ån Öf d|tråct|Ön wh|lt ÿÖu H4x0r th£ låhdÖt dåtåbå£, ÿÖu cån u£ åLL html pÖt, ånd "fÖrg£t" tÖ clÖ£ å fÖnt mÖd|f|£r tåg (uch å bÖld Ör |tål|c) åt th£ b£g|nn|ng Öf th£ £nt£nc£. B£ ur£ tÖ u£ th£ Br£åk tåg fr£qu£ntlÿ, Ö å tÖ g|v£ th£ åpp£årånc£ Öf å lÖng£r, mÖr£ |mpÖrtånt pÖt thån whåt ÿÖu r£ållÿ håv£. 4.åÿMF TÖ b£ å 1337 å h£ll, u£ crÿpt|c åcrÖnÿm å Öft£n å pÖ|bl£. DÖn't cÖnc£rn ÿÖur£lf w£th£r Ör nÖt th£ÿ åctuållÿ wÖrk å £tåbl|h£d åbbr£v|åt|Ön. £v£rÿÖn£ £l£ |n ÿÖur m£ntål|tÿ w|ll b£ åbl£ tÖ r£åd å pÖt Öf "åFå|K, th£ GFPFåD mÖd | Bÿ th£ cÖÖl£t mÖd £v£r. WC|FDW, ÿ'knÖw?". B£|d£, th| måt£rm|nd-l|k£ cÖmpr£h£n|Ön Öf åcrÖnÿm|tÿ, Önlÿ furth£r |nd|cåt£ ÿÖur 1337n355. 5.WhÖ' Måmå? |f Öm£Ön£ r£pl|£ tÖ Ön£ Öf ÿÖur pÖt d£rÖgåtÖr|lÿ, dÖn't bÖth£r £xplå|n|ng ÿÖur£lf. Th£ 1337 m£thÖd Öf r£pÖn£ | tÖ pÖt 200 ånÖnÿmÖu m£åg£, f|ll£d w|th hÖt gr|t, N47413 P0r7M4N, ånd d£r||v£ r£mårk tÖwård th£ pÖt£r' mÖth£r. |f ÿÖu cån g£t åwåÿ w|th |t, n£åk |n Öm£th|ng åbÖut Fr££BD å w£ll. Thåt'll turn th£ t|d£. 6.Kårmå DÖwn TÖ furth£r d£r|d£ th£ kårmå pånd£r|ng kårmå-whÖr£ Öf th£ låhdÖt år£nå, b£g|n åll cÖmm£nt w|th th£ ubj£ct "MÖd£råt£ Th| Up". Th| | ur£ tÖ cÖnfu£ th£ mÖd£råtÖr |ntÖ fÖrg£tt|ng wh|ch wåÿ up åctuållÿ |, ånd |n wh|ch mÖd£ th£ÿ'r£ åctuållÿ v|£w|ng |t. ÿÖu'r£ ur£ tÖ £nd up åt th£ bÖttÖm Öf th£ l|t, but åt l£åt ÿÖu'v£ måd£ thåt mÖd£råtÖr wåt£ h| Öth£rw|£ våluåbl£ pÖ|nt Ön ÿÖur£lf, |nt£åd Öf ÿÖu 1337 budd|£ cåtch|ng f|rt pÖt... 7.HÖn£ÿ Nut Clut£r B£ ur£ tÖ m£nt|Ön, nÖ mått£r hÖw ÖfftÖp|c whåtÖ£v£r, Ör hÖw l|ttl£ |t wÖuld åpplÿ, hÖw cÖÖl X (wh£r£ X = årt|cl£ tÖp|c) wÖuld b£ Ön å B£Öwulf clut£r. | m£ån, c'mÖn, £V£RÿTH|NG wÖuld b£ cÖÖl Ön å B£Öwulf clut£r, £v£n Nåtål|£ PÖrtmån, p£tr|f|£d ånd nåk£d.... h£h£. 8.Kåtz? |f åll £l£ få|l, ånd ÿÖu jut wånt tÖ |rr|tåt£, måk£ fun Öf JÖn Kåtz, Ör, p£rhåp ågr££ w|th h|m (d£p£nd|ng Ön wh|ch |d£ Öf th£ f£nc£ ÿÖur Ön... 1337, Ör 3r337). ånÿ m£nt|Ön Öf Kåtz | åctuållÿ ur£ tÖ £t Öm£Ön£' år£ Ön f|r£. Thånk tÖ Påb, Låÿn£, Lurk|ng W£å£l, ånd åll th£ Öth£r thåt håv£ h£lp£d tÖ r£f|n£ th| dÖcum£nt |ntÖ whåt |t | tÖdåÿ. |f | ådd£d Öm£th|ng Öf ÿÖur, ånd ÿÖu'd l|k£ cr£d|t, £må|l m£, ånd |'ll ££ jut whåt | cån dÖ. W£ll, | ££ ÿÖu'v£ r£åd th£ whÖl£ th|ng, ånd måd£ |t tÖ th£ bÖttÖm. CÖngråtulåt|Ön, |f ÿÖu'v£ måd£ |t dÖwn h£r£, th£n ÿÖu'r£ Öbv|Öulÿ nÖt Ön£ Öf th£ 1337 h4X0r5 d£cr|b£d åbÖv£, å th£ÿ nÖ dÖubt tÖÖk th£ f|rt l|nk tÖ låhdÖt tÖ pråct|c£ th£|r n£w-fÖund tr|ck£rÿ. ånÿwåÿ, fÖr th£ r£må|nd£r Öf ÿÖu, th£ pråct|c£ åbÖv£ år£ N£V£R tÖ b£ dupl|cåt£d. |f ånÿ m£mb£r Öf låhdÖt | ££n cÖpÿ|ng th£ m£thÖd åbÖv£, th£|r Öul w|ll b£ Öld tÖ åÖL, wh£r£ |t w|ll b£ u£d tÖ prÖc£ w£b påg£, ånd pÖw£r th£ mårk£t|ng pÖpup thåt åÖL£r lÖv£ Ö much. Note: It might be a little screwed up being formatted wrong. but heres a real note: All Text are property of their respected owner(s), trademark or copyright infringement is not intended and should not be inferred. I hope you like it. ehehe
  • Perl comes from $^X. And he misspelled "whoever" with a spurious "m". Diff the output, and you'll see that I correct that.
  • What's wrong with "by Microsoft or whomever"? It's "by whom", like "to whom", you know. Saying "by whoever" is wrong.
    Er, not exactly. Let's just say that your understanding represents an isolated view of reality.

    The following examples are all correctly inflected. Once you understand why, it all becomes easy.

    1. It's really a question of whom you're trying to make happy.
    2. It's really a question of who is happy.
    3. It's really a question of whom you've seen.
    4. It's really a question of who wants to go.
    5. It's really a question of who is going.
    6. It's really a question of who you think is going.
    7. It's really a question of whom you told to go.
    8. It's really a question of who you think I said was going.
    9. It's really a question of whom you think I told to go.
    English is a context-sensitive language. You can't just look at these things in isolation.
  • by Otto ( 17870 )
    Test to see if they actually fixed the bug..

    If this post has no subject, it's still there..

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  • Guess it's still there..

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Dreams are free, but you get soaked on the connect time.

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