Where's Your Coding Happy Place? 508
jammag writes "Cranking out code — your very best code — requires being in the optimal environment, muses developer Eric Spiegel. He explores the pitfalls and joys of the usual locales, cubicle, home, the beach. He claims he's done his best coding on an airplane. In the end, though, he suggests that the best environment is a matter of the environment inside yourself, your internal mood — and to hell with the cubicle or wherever. You have to be focused on quality, regardless of the idiot clients. It's all inside your mind. Where's your coding happy place?"
I code best when I'm reading Slashdot (Score:1, Funny)
Yes, I am at my most efficient while reading Slashdot. Or just generally browsing random web sites
huh? Oh... OK... nevermind, my boss was walking by as I wrote that previous bit
Re:A matter of the environment? (Score:5, Funny)
WRONG.
Black-as-hell coffee, bright moonlit night outside, but I'm stuffed in a windowless basement with no ventilation, using Emacs.
On Windows.
ME.
Yes, that's how far I'll go to counter one of you VI-loving lunatics.
Re:Oddly enough... (Score:4, Funny)
I thrive on stress (Score:5, Funny)
I'm at my most productive at 2am the night before the project is scheduled to go live.
I'm at my second most productive at 9am the following day while I'm patching the running code on the live system to fix what I didn't have time to test the night before.
Re:On my floor in the family room... (Score:5, Funny)
Dang, dad, I am 35. Can't you write your COBOL some other way?
If any friskiness starts up... (Score:5, Funny)
Perhaps the serenity of being next to your significant other results in perfect code. If any friskiness starts up, then maybe itâ(TM)s time to go back out to the couch.
I'm sure it was only intended as a joke, but if any friskiness starts up while you're coding in bed, and you choose to move to the couch, then maybe it's time to rethink your priorities.
The basement?!? (Score:5, Funny)
While the basement is quite good for me, I always get interrupted by my partner as this is her favorite place too. What we do while there is just not relevant to Slashdot's audience at the moment. But I will say I hardly get anything done on the coding front when she drops by.
What... does your mother make you pick up your dirty socks?
Re:The basement works for me... (Score:2, Funny)
Best Place to Code (Score:5, Funny)
Best productivity is in India. Not sure if it's the food or what... but I am 4x as productive as in the US.
with my boss... (Score:5, Funny)
Stevie Ballmer's lounge (Score:5, Funny)
Re:A matter of the environment? (Score:5, Funny)
WRONG.
Getting a blowjob with a gun to my head.
Re:A matter of the environment? (Score:5, Funny)
Lightly sweetened breakfast tea, rainy weather outside, window cracked with a brisk morning breeze...
...John Travolta singing to me, wearing nothing but a thong and a bottle of baby oil...
What? Oh, sorry, I got lost in your poetry and thought we were describing a romantic evening in San Francisco.
Re:In My Opinion, a Truly Horrid List (Score:5, Funny)
Perl. That's enough lines per day to rewrite every application in existence. Unfortunately, being perl none of them can be debugged, so he has to redo it again the next day.
Re:Oddly enough... (Score:5, Funny)
I'd Love to serve on a jury. However, I'm afraid I don't qualify to sit on a jury. You see, I'm a A-Hole with a brain.
So I get the summons, and show up ...
Judge: "Does anyone here know any of the parties involved in this matter?"
Me: "Why does it matter?"
Judge: "Dismissed"
Me: "I didn't say one way or the other"
Judge: "I said dismissed"
Me: "Yes, I heard, I'm just wondering why"
Judge: "I don't have to tell you"
Me: "No, but I'm sure all these people here want to know, especially now that I'm bringing their attention to it"
Judge: "Another word from you and I'll hold you in contempt"
Me: "How does being on FOX NEWS sound to you?"
Judge: "Bailiff, remove him please"
Me: "Don't Taze me bro"
Bailiff: .... ZAP
Re:A matter of the environment? (Score:5, Funny)
WRONG
*Giving* a blowjob with a gun to my head.
Re:Obvious (Score:3, Funny)
Search the google for mindfuck pictures. When you see it, you'll shit brix.
Re:Not a matter of where, but when (Score:5, Funny)
If you don't like waiting for the internet to settle down at night, I find it helps to wrap some old towels around the tubes. That muffles the sound of the bits flowing through. American bits are pretty loud no matter what you do, unfortunately.
My coding happy place... (Score:3, Funny)
...is in my PANTS! Oh-YEAH! ;-)
Re:A matter of the environment? (Score:5, Funny)
*Giving* a blowjob with a gun to my head.
Sounds like my last blind date
Re:Silence (Score:2, Funny)
After sex. My best code, and best ideas in general, always came after some hardcore sex with my girlfriend or any of my other female friends.
Re:with my boss... (Score:5, Funny)
I would totally code with my boss. If she was leaning over my shoulder and inviting me to her bedH^H^H reminding me about the project schedule, I could code like all of Windows 7 before lunch.
So I guess my coding happy place is where the women are hot and the project milestones involve sex.
Re:A matter of the environment? (Score:5, Funny)
...John Travolta singing to me, wearing nothing but a thong and a bottle of baby oil...
What, like, as a hat?
Re:A matter of the environment? (Score:5, Funny)
Make that: ;-) And yes, the inverted division is on purpose. (Btw, you've got one too many opening brackets - or one too few closing brackets depending on how you look at it.)
coding_performance_level = (vi + smokes + (coffee | mountain_dew)) * (100 / hours_to_deadline);
and you got a deal.
Re:A matter of the environment? (Score:3, Funny)
>Perhaps my neck elevation angle is insufficient, but if I was in a windowless basement how would I know what the lunar illumination situation was?
You add it to your google homepage. Which on windows ME should also be set to your active desktop background. Feel the pain yet?
http://www.calculatorcat.com/moon_phases/daily_moon_phases.phtml#google_home_page [calculatorcat.com]
Re:Silence (Score:2, Funny)
Re:The basement?!? (Score:2, Funny)
Please don't ever tell me about your childhood.
Re:A matter of the environment? (Score:5, Funny)
WRONG
*Giving* a blowjob with a gun to my head.
RemoWilliams84, meet zarthrag. zarthrag, RemoWilliams84.
I'll expect the new kernel by Friday.
Re:Silence (Score:3, Funny)
Re:A matter of the environment? (Score:2, Funny)
The Moon is Waning Crescent (19% of Full)
;
Re:If any friskiness starts up... (Score:3, Funny)
Just rest your laptop or keyboard on the small of her back.
Re:Music (Score:2, Funny)
I listen to the blues while coding. Interpret that as you will.
If my boss is reading this that was a joke.
Re:A matter of the environment? (Score:5, Funny)
And yes, the inverted division is on purpose.
One serious problem with this. Your performance level is something like: constant/hours_to_deadline. Assuming you work to the deadline (logical), you will perform an infinite amount of work as the integral(1/x) on the interval 0 to t diverges.
If you can sell your boss on this, though, bravo.
Re:A matter of the environment? (Score:5, Funny)
Cold? Yes.
If cold is a possibility, you don't have nearly enough servers.
Re:A matter of the environment? (Score:1, Funny)
You went out with Phil Spector?
Re:with my boss... (Score:4, Funny)
What kind of crappy code can you deliver while being distracted by hot women?
Didn't I say Windows 7? I thought I said Windows 7.