RIAA Approved mp3 Player Reviewed

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RIAA Approved mp3 Player Reviewed 73

Posted by Zonk on Saturday April 01, 2006 @05:06PM from the not-cool-not-pink dept.

buckminster writes "Medialoper has an exclusive review of the soon-to-be legendary Prism DuroSport 6000. According to the review, 'if the RIAA had had designed an industry approved digital media player this is what it would look like'. The player has an extraordinary collection of features including 'disposable flash memory' and built-in DRM system with 'opt-in listening'."

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RIAA Approved mp3 Player Reviewed

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OMG!!! PONIES!!! (Score:3, Funny)

by RLiegh ( 247921 ) * writes: on Saturday April 01, 2006 @05:08PM (#15043074) Homepage Journal

One Trick Ponies!!! [riaa.com]

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Well, sure (Score:3, Funny)

by SparksMcGee ( 812424 ) writes: on Saturday April 01, 2006 @05:09PM (#15043077)

But does it play .ogg?

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- Re:Well, sure (Score:1)
  
  by NIK282000 ( 737852 ) writes:
  
  Yes
  - Re:Well, sure (Score:2)
    
    by Technician ( 215283 ) writes:
    
    Yes
    
    One cavot, since that format is not a DRM format, you will be presented with opt-in-listening. You will need to confirm you want to listen to the possibly pirated music for each song. You can avoid this by converting your files to the DRM format native to the player.
    
    As an added bonus, the player software will not repeat your popular songs too often. See the site for details on this feature.
- Re:Well, sure (Score:1)
  
  by Disperz ( 818430 ) writes:
  
  rta "Multi-format support including mp3, ogg vorbis, dt6, and iTunes Music Store (w/compatibility kit, purchased separately)"
Well... (Score:5, Insightful)

by Donniedarkness ( 895066 ) writes: <Donniedarkness@g ... BSDcom minus bsd> on Saturday April 01, 2006 @05:09PM (#15043079) Homepage

Does it come in Linux?
Does it run Pink?

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- Re:Well... (Score:1)
  
  by bepe86 ( 945139 ) writes:
  
  More importantly, does it run Mac OS X?
- Re:Well... (Score:2)
  
  by RLiegh ( 247921 ) * writes:
  
  Does it come in Linux?
  
  Linux? Huh? What's detergent [answers.com] got to do with mp3s?
  
  Does it run Pink?
  
  Why yes, it does [wikipedia.org]
- Re:Well... (Score:1)
  
  by ajwitte ( 849122 ) writes:
  
  Does it run Pink?
  
  Yes. This means it's especially good for playing music by Gershwin and Copland.
- Re:Well... (Score:1)
  
  by lolocaust ( 871165 ) writes:
  
  Bring back the pink. It's actually easier on the eyes than this horrible scheme.
Finally! (Score:4, Funny)

by dteichman2 ( 841599 ) writes: on Saturday April 01, 2006 @05:12PM (#15043089) Homepage

A true iPod killer! If the sales don't work, I'm sure it could simply crush them.

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- All it needs is... (Score:1)
  
  by Mixel ( 723232 ) writes:
  
  All it needs is Angelina Jolie lips [dilbert.com] and everyone will love it [dilbert.com]!
I LOVE PONIES, +5 INTERESTING (Score:2, Insightful)

by Raelus ( 859126 ) writes:

Like OMG, can I listen to N*Sync on it?
Twice the price, twice the DRM! (Score:2, Funny)

by Coopjust ( 872796 ) writes:

The RIAA approved players will make your listening experience safer and better.

Now, your player will connect to a world wide marketing database to automatically determine if your player has pirated music! Any song you spent less than $2 or converted is likely to have pirated, so your player will delete the music for you!

You'll need to rebuy the song every year to support your artists continually. And your songs will only play on this player with the same set of batteries-if anything changes, your license ha
- Re:Twice the price, twice the DRM! (Score:1)
  
  by snorlax123 ( 965621 ) writes:
  
  Each time I connect earphones or my cassette recorder to my Prism DuroSport player, I get an "Internet connection not available" trouble tone that over powers the music. To make matters worse, when I do connect my Prism DuroSport to my router so I can use either my cassette recorder or my earphones, the doorbell rings and those content investigators seem to have mistakenly knocked on my door (again). I wish those cable pirates would get a life. I those pirates would just pay for their cable, maybe we co
You got me.... (Score:1)

by 1053r ( 903458 ) writes:

At first sight, I thought this was the first legit article to be posted on april fools day, but my fears were quickly dispelled by http://www.prismdurosport.com/products/ [prismdurosport.com]. You're getting more believable, but still no cigar. Please, let's have april 1 stories that are not obviously hoaxes!
- Re:You got me.... (Score:1)
  
  by cartel ( 845256 ) writes:
  
  Slashdot should have 1 or 2 articles that are real on April 1.
- Re:You got me.... (Score:2)
  
  by eMartin ( 210973 ) writes:
  
  Why don't you just turn off your computer for the day and go outside?
  
  If any of these aren't hoaxes, they will still be here tomorrow.
OMG The Office! (Score:1)

by Makenai ( 223604 ) * writes:

OMG - it's a reference to the US version of the Office. Isn't it? The name sounds familiar, but I'm too lazy to check. Can anyone back me up on this?
- Re:OMG The Office! (Score:4, Informative)
  
  by christopherfinke ( 608750 ) writes: <chris@efinke.com> on Saturday April 01, 2006 @07:47PM (#15043598) Homepage Journal
  
  it's a reference to the US version of the Office. Isn't it?
  Yes, it is. In the episode "The Injury" (Season 2, episode 12), Dwight shows Pam how durable her Prism DuroSport is by telling her to chuck it across the room: "It's like an iPod, only better, cause it's chunkier and more solid."
  
  Parent Share
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The RIAA aprovved is... (Score:3, Insightful)

by michelcultivo ( 524114 ) writes: on Saturday April 01, 2006 @05:19PM (#15043114) Journal

one MP3 player that is unable to play mp3 :)

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- Re:The RIAA aprovved is... (Score:1)
  
  by mikek3332002 ( 912228 ) writes:
  
  In otherwords a block of wood?
lolz (Score:5, Funny)

by akhomerun ( 893103 ) writes: on Saturday April 01, 2006 @05:27PM (#15043148)

best line ever

well...more than one line...but anyway...

DuroSports new battery powered battery charger allows you to charge your DuroSport battery just about anywhere. With this amazing new device youll always have enough power to listen to your favorite music.

Please note that the battery powered battery charger has no power adapter and must be charged by another battery powered battery charger. Because of this the minimum purchase is two (2) units/i.

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YAAFJ (Score:1)

by jnadke ( 907188 ) writes:

April Fools!

The webserver for that link is really a bunch of wires connected to a potato.

Or a pile of molten slag.
Hi, I am (Score:1)

by Anonymous Coward writes:

A completely offtopic post waiting its 5 lovely upmods!
Watch as... (Score:2)

by m50d ( 797211 ) writes:

the humour dies. Satire dies when the RIAA gets involved.
BEST APRILS FOOLS EVER (Score:2, Informative)

by AgNO3 ( 878843 ) writes:

was bare bones software Personal Analog device http://www.barebones.com/company/press.php?news_id =16&sort_year=2002 [barebones.com]
like an al-qaida approved jetliner (Score:5, Funny)

by Simonetta ( 207550 ) writes: on Saturday April 01, 2006 @05:37PM (#15043179)

Buying an RIAA-approved MP3 player is like flying on an Al-Qaida approved jetliner. It's guaranteed to have unwanted consequences and side effects that are the exact opposite of the experience that you are paying for. Basically you're giving extra money to extortionists in advance in order to be assured by the extortionists that the bad things that they do to people for money won't happen to you. But these organizations exist not to extort money, but to do nasty things to people. So by using equipment 'approved' by them only ensures that the bad things that these people do are going to happening to you.
An Al-Qaida airliner can be expected to blow up in mid-flight, because that's what they do. They aren't in it for the money or to sell 'Allah-approved' transportation, they do what they do in order to murder as many people as possible. An RIAA-approved MP3 player can be fully expected to stop playing your music randomly until you plug it into a phone line and automaticilly transfer more funds from your bank account to the RIAA's 'copyright and artist's protection' account. It's a guaranteed hassle from a band of assholes. It's hard to imagine any intelligent person buying it. It's like setting up an automatic bank transfer to extortionists and then being shocked and amazed that they are demanding more money each month.
Al-Qaida is a criminal organization obsessed with the murder of randomly selected individuals. The RIAA is a criminal organization that gets its money by using vast legal resources to extort money from randomly selected individuals. You can't fight criminal organizations or defend yourself from them by giving them the money that they demand. They just get stronger and meaner. You have to band together with others who are being extorted to defend each other and as a group refuse to pay the extortionists and then defend yourself against the violence (either physical or legal) that they bring against your group.
That's the only defense against the RIAA or the mafia. With Al-Qaida the only defense to be willing and able to kill everyone who aids and supports them, regardless of how cruel that these actions will make you appear to the world or history. It is their religious fanatisism that has put them into a mindset to where they can't be reasoned with or bought off like normal criminals. And they use the common people to hide them, like Mao's fish guerrillas in a sea of peasants. So to fight them, we are forced to kill everyone in the lands where they excape. They force us to be insanely cruel in order to defend ourselves. It is like Golda Meir's observation that the worst thing that the Palestinian terrorists do is force us to kill their children. But since they live to be martyrs anyway, we have no choice but to deliver this onto them.

Anyway, don't buy any 'RIAA approved' MP3 players. They're just a box of DRM hell.

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- Re:like an al-qaida approved jetliner (Score:2)
  
  by The Master Control P ( 655590 ) writes:
  
  Buying an RIAA-approved MP3 player is like flying on an Al-Qaida approved jetliner.
  
  I think I just found a new sig.
- w00t! (Score:1)
  
  by Siffy ( 929793 ) writes:
  
  54th post! I win!
nyud.net (Score:1)

by islanduniverse ( 925110 ) writes:

The webpage has died already =/ Must be the RIAA trying to make it look popular They'll never win!!! http://www.prismdurosport.com.nyud.net:8090/produc ts/ [nyud.net]
- Re:nyud.net (Score:1)
  
  by islanduniverse ( 925110 ) writes:
  
  Damn... Should have put line-breaks in...
  
  But the player looks awesome =/
If I buy it... (Score:1)

by zpeterz63 ( 851922 ) writes:

do they require my soul as well as my money?
Will submitting to Slashdot become illegal? (Score:1)

by Halcyonandon ( 699642 ) writes:

It seems like a pretty common way of orchestrating DDoS attack on remote hosts! I'm turning in everyone who submits a story!
they want me to run an application (Score:1)

by qzulla ( 600807 ) writes:

medialoper wants to run code on my 'puter.

application/x-httpd-fastphp

I'll pass.

qz
- Re:they want me to run an application (Score:2)
  
  by slavemowgli ( 585321 ) writes:
  
  It's not an application. It's a plain old HTML "500 Internal Server Error" page sent by the server with a braindead content type, that's all.
  - Re:they want me to run an application (Score:1)
    
    by qzulla ( 600807 ) writes:
    
    Thanks.
    
    Then why don't they just say so?
    
    qz
    - Re:they want me to run an application (Score:2)
      
      by slavemowgli ( 585321 ) writes:
      
      Don't ask me, but I'd say that it's a web server goof-up...
Here's one (Score:2)

by mik ( 10986 ) * writes:

Legal music players [kazoos.com] - works with any format file (yes, including OGG), even live performances!. Listen to the audio once, and then you can replay it any number of times on any of these devices! Legally!! Of course, it uses lossy compression, but with repeated "listenings" of the original source, it'll get better.
Say what? (Score:2)

by Jugalator ( 259273 ) writes:

An RIAA approved mp3 player?? Haha, this was the funniest April Fool's joke!
RIAA mp3 thing (Score:1)

by thripper ( 965380 ) writes:

That is plain UGLY !
Where's the pad lock (Score:2)

by Midnight Thunder ( 17205 ) writes:

Where's the padlock? I mean you aren't really meant to be listening to the music you buy, well not until your ears have DRM attached to them. :)
backlash has started (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes:

The backlash has already started at Prism DuroSport Sucks [prismdurosportsucks.com]. Is nothing sacred?!
DuroSport's inflammatory response to Medialoper (Score:2)

by merc ( 115854 ) writes:

This company sounds like it's being run by a bunch of pre-pubescent teenage kids.

From their website:

DuroSport Urges Customers To Ignore Medialoper Review

We regret to inform our loyal customers that the highly anticipated review of the new Prism 6000 which appears in Medialoper today is full of inaccuracies and misleading information. We urge you to ignore the review and spend the day listening to your Prism DuroSport.

The DuroSport support staff has worked diligently over the past several months to assist
Missing button? (Score:2)

by noidentity ( 188756 ) writes:

That's odd, you'd think the RIAA would have noticed that it was missing the play button before approving it...

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OMG!!! PONIES!!! (Score:3, Funny)

Well, sure (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Well, sure (Score:1)

Re:Well, sure (Score:2)

Re:Well, sure (Score:1)

Well... (Score:5, Insightful)

Re:Well... (Score:1)

Re:Well... (Score:2)

Re:Well... (Score:1)

Re:Well... (Score:1)

Finally! (Score:4, Funny)

All it needs is... (Score:1)

I LOVE PONIES, +5 INTERESTING (Score:2, Insightful)

Twice the price, twice the DRM! (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Twice the price, twice the DRM! (Score:1)

You got me.... (Score:1)

Re:You got me.... (Score:1)

Re:You got me.... (Score:2)

OMG The Office! (Score:1)

Re:OMG The Office! (Score:4, Informative)

The RIAA aprovved is... (Score:3, Insightful)

Re:The RIAA aprovved is... (Score:1)

lolz (Score:5, Funny)

YAAFJ (Score:1)

Hi, I am (Score:1)

Watch as... (Score:2)

BEST APRILS FOOLS EVER (Score:2, Informative)

like an al-qaida approved jetliner (Score:5, Funny)

Re:like an al-qaida approved jetliner (Score:2)

w00t! (Score:1)

nyud.net (Score:1)

Re:nyud.net (Score:1)

If I buy it... (Score:1)

Will submitting to Slashdot become illegal? (Score:1)

they want me to run an application (Score:1)

Re:they want me to run an application (Score:2)

Re:they want me to run an application (Score:1)

Re:they want me to run an application (Score:2)

Here's one (Score:2)

Say what? (Score:2)

RIAA mp3 thing (Score:1)

Where's the pad lock (Score:2)

backlash has started (Score:1, Funny)

DuroSport's inflammatory response to Medialoper (Score:2)

Missing button? (Score:2)

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