The 3rd Annual Nigerian EMail Conference 238
Jacek Fedorynski writes "I present to you an urgent and confidential request: I request your attendance at The 3rd Annual Nigerian EMail Conference. This is an excellent opportunity to meet your distinguished colleagues, learn new marketing techniques, and spend your hard-earned money. Attending this conference demands the highest trust, security and confidentiality between us."
George W (Score:5, Interesting)
Have you read this? (Score:5, Interesting)
An MSN tech speaks [upinthispiece.net]
Re:George W (Score:3, Funny)
URGENT ASSISTANCE - FROM USA
IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NEEDED : HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL
FROM: GEORGE WALKER BUSH
202.456.1414 / 202.456.1111
FAX: 202.456.2461
Dear Sir / Madam,
I am GEORGE WALKER BUSH, son of the former president of the United States of America George Herbert Walker Bush, and currently serving as President of the United States of America. This letter might surprise you because we have not met neither in person nor by correspondence. I came to
Re:George W (Score:5, Funny)
What I want to know is (Score:2)
Nigeria (Score:2, Informative)
I call bullshit (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:Nigeria (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Nigeria (Score:3, Interesting)
"Advance Fee fraud popularly known as 419 has also been in the rise. Early in the year, a Nigerian diplomat, Michael Waydi, was reported killed inside a Prague embassy by a 72 year-old retired Czech who was allegedly duped by a Nigerian fraudster. Before the gunman was eventually apprehended, he had shot and wounded a 37 year-old embassy clerk."
The Google has you.
confidential? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:confidential? (Score:2)
"OK. The joke's over. Nothing more to see here."
Re:confidential? (Score:1)
Ssshhhh! It'll be our little secret..
Re:confidential? (Score:1)
And I thought it was funny when those emails said something like "I am contacting you in this secure fashion". Pretty funny when it's email.
Registration Fee: $995 per person (Score:5, Funny)
* Nigerian scams reloaded
* Free viagra
* Penis or breast enlargements (1 per person)
Re:Registration Fee: $995 per person (Score:3, Funny)
Do you get to choose which one?
Re:Registration Fee: $995 per person (Score:1, Offtopic)
Remeber that spinning wheel on Wheel of Fortune?
Yeah.
Re:Registration Fee: $995 per person (Score:2)
Re:Registration Fee: $995 per person (Score:2)
If you believe this site... (Score:3, Funny)
Funny site, for sure.
Re:If you believe this site... (Score:2)
Make penis fast! (Score:3, Funny)
I am the widow of Makeu Safeglouglou, who was minister of useless things. My husband was killed as he was about to mount a lap dancer in a Ouagadougou stripper bar.
Help us transfer several billion sperm celles frozen in a sperm bank account!
Re:Make penis fast! (Score:2)
You know it's a sad day... (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:You know it's a sad day... (Score:2)
Re:You know it's a sad day... (Score:2)
Re:You know it's a sad day... (Score:2)
Back in February, an anti-spam lawyer was joe-jobbed. He found out that he had 40,000 bounce back messages in his mailbox. The really suprising thing were people asking for his hourly rate so that they could file lawsuits against people spamming.
really? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:really? (Score:5, Funny)
Nigerian scammers are fun. I had one convinced that I had to go to Mos Eisley (a local town named after a Confederate general) to sell my speeder (a small vehicle used for farming) to raise the funds for the transaction. (We don't have a bank account. My father, Anakin, lived through the Depression and doesn't trust banks).
I told him that I was laughed out of the Western Union office for trying to wire money to "Bank Attorney" (he gave me no address or other info), and that I had to spend some of the money buying a ride home from a couple of greasy dudes driving around in a 1976 Millenium Falcon pickup truck. He sent me his name and address. I told him that the Western Union ticket couldn't be changed and that I needed him to send me $3 so that I could redeem the ticket and send him the full sum. I gave him a few weeks to see if he would actually wire me $3, but when he didn't, I gave his name to the FBI, state department, and Nigerian authorities.
OT: Re:really? (Score:2, Insightful)
Capitalism != (innovation|democracy|freedom)
You should change it to
Capitalism != Innovation != Democracy != Freedom
The way it is written implies it is against all those things instead of just an independent aspect of a society. I too get pissy when people say "democracy" but mean "everything we have." Democracy is just a good guard against change, which is why the first act of many democracies is to elect a dictator (think Africa) - a dictator is exactly what they had before.
Re:really? (Score:3, Interesting)
You can find tonnes of stories like this on The Lads of Lagos [scamorama.com] site. There's even one from me. Some highlights include:
THE LADS FROM BAGHDAD [scamorama.com] - Saddam Hussein & Chemical Ali need your help?
WE WANTS IT [scamorama.com]
Re:really? (Score:2)
You know, as much as this might get a chuckle out of just about anyone (hell, myself included), I have to say this:
The last thing I would ever do is turn somebody in to the FSCKING GHANA POLICE! [amnesty.org]
Hell, email scams piss me off just as much as anybody, but that's a fate that I wouldn't wish on just about anyone (except for maybe the Ghana police themselves).
Dominion
What? (Score:5, Funny)
In Nigeria of all places... hmmmm.
I never knew.
I attended the first two... (Score:5, Funny)
I will insist that my boss sends me again this year, and I'm sure I will report that it was once again a must-attend event.
__
cheap web hosting [cheap-web-...ing.com.au] Dragon life-like action figures [mibglobal.com.au]
Late april fools joke (Score:2, Interesting)
After dupe posts I'm wondering if there is no comspiracy to bring Slashdot reputation down !
Maybe that'll help preventing hiccups like this (Score:5, Funny)
well, it was on the Internet - it must be true (Score:2)
That was certainly an amusing read. But you believe it? He somehow received gold sent to him? But he clearly pointed out in the series of e-mail exchanges that he was careful not to give the scammer an actual address, even when the scammer wanted to send him the fake documents via DHL.
Time to use the "travelling out of the office" gambit to avoid sending an address. .......2) I'm travelling between offices this week so finding an office to DHL to fo
Re:well, it was on the Internet - it must be true (Score:2)
Lets share our Nigerian Emails (Score:2, Informative)
FROM THE DESK OF:MR.UMAR MOHAMMED
REPLY TO : umohammed@postmaster.co.uk
Good day,
I am MR UMAR MOHAMMED, head of the accounts/operations dept. of one of the leading merchant banks in Nigeria..I have an urgent and very confidential business proposition for you.
On December 8, 1998, an American Oil consultant/contractor with the
Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation, Mrs.Ann Barbara Myers made a
numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for twelve calendar months, valued at
US$25,000,000.00(T
Re:Lets share our Nigerian Emails (Score:1)
Too busy to attend (Score:5, Funny)
World Economics (Score:3, Interesting)
A round table discussion: Is email now Nigeria's top export?
I couldn't imagine a better way to start my sunday! What a hearty laugh!
In all seriousness, does anyone know of any action taken by a real nigerian to protest/combat this kind of scams? Myself, I'd be pretty pissed to see my country's reputation dragged on the mud by oportunistic creeps.
Re:World Economics (Score:1, Funny)
As a Nigerian I have to say in defense that faking a moon landing was not feasible for us (though you'd think with modern technology like Maya & Photoshop it would be easier to get to the moon today), so this is just an easier way of getting our name out there.
Re:World Economics (Score:5, Insightful)
Cool Spoof (Score:5, Interesting)
And the one about the periodic table of elements... some people are just odd.
Re:Cool Spoof (Score:2)
hehehe (Score:1, Funny)
$wget = "/usr/bin/wget";
$spammer_url = "http://j-walk.com/blog/docs/conference.htm";
wh
$do = `$wget $spammer_url`;
}
How ridiculous (Score:5, Funny)
BECASUE OF GOVERNMENT SCRUTINY I NEED YOUR HELP IN TRANSFERING THE SUM OF 750,000,000 TO A SWISS BANK ACCOUNT.
FOR YOUR HELP, I WILL STOP FUNDING SCO'S ATTACK ON LINUX.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP IN THIS MATTER
WILLIAM GATES
Wrong address (Score:5, Funny)
For registration, please send the registration fee and your address here:
Fede Raltra
Decom Mission
CRC-240
600 Penn Syl Vania Ave, NW
Wa Shing Ton, D.C. 20580
Nigeria
Sincerely yours
Fede Raltra
Re:Decom Mission (Score:1)
It is Lutheran protestant mission. Founded by Norwegian Lutheran Mission Union. The missionaries came from the fjords of western and southern Norway. They assembled in Trondheim, from whence they sailed on May 5. They arrived in Nigeria, where they taught Nigerians how to read and write in the mission school and gave them Spam for lunch with spam, sausage, spam, spam, spam, spam, eggs, spam, spam, lutefisk, spam, spam, spam, spam.........
Slashjoke? (Score:4, Funny)
for you Hilton HHonors Members (Score:5, Funny)
Hilton Abuja [metrotravelguide.com]
From their site:
Creditcard confirmation required
-- Multics
Re:for you Hilton HHonors Members (Score:5, Interesting)
You get a better exchange rate on the currency black market, so most people transfer their cash there. The problem is you're bound to whatever bills they have. It costs like N20,000 per night to stay at the Hilton, and when a friend of mine was staying for a week, the biggest bill he got from the black market was N50, with a lot of N10 and N5. He had to have people truck in his money in wheelbarrows, and it took them 45 minutes using money counting machines to count it all.
the comma (Score:4, Insightful)
"The hotel was very, very upscale. The running water was a nice touch! - Dr, Collins Mdadiwe
is the comma after "Dr"
Re:the comma (Score:3, Insightful)
First Niggerian Spam Post! (Score:5, Funny)
HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL
FROM: GEORGE WALKER BUSH
DEAR SIR/MADAM,
I AM GEORGE WALKER BUSH, SON OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH, AND CURRENTLY SERVING AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT MET NEITHER IN PERSON NOR BY CORRESPONDENCE. I CAME TO KNOW OF YOU IN MY SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO HANDLE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, WHICH INVOLVES THE TRANSFER OF A HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO AN ACCOUNT REQUIRING MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE.
I AM WRITING YOU IN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE PRIMARILY TO SEEK YOUR ASSISTANCE IN ACQUIRING OIL FUNDS THAT ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ. MY PARTNERS AND I SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN COMPLETING A TRANSACTION BEGUN BY MY FATHER, WHO HAS LONG BEEN ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN THE EXTRACTION OF PETROLEUM IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND BRAVELY SERVED HIS COUNTRY AS DIRECTOR OF THE UNITED STATES CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY.
IN THE DECADE OF THE NINETEEN-EIGHTIES, MY FATHER, THEN VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, SOUGHT TO WORK WITH THE GOOD OFFICES OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ TO REGAIN LOST OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN. THIS UNSUCCESSFUL VENTURE WAS SOON FOLLOWED BY A FALLING OUT WITH HIS IRAQI PARTNER, WHO SOUGHT TO ACQUIRE ADDITIONAL OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING EMIRATE OF KUWAIT, A WHOLLY-OWNED U.S.-BRITISH SUBSIDIARY.
MY FATHER RE-SECURED THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF KUWAIT IN 1991 AT A COST OF SIXTY-ONE BILLION U.S. DOLLARS ($61,000,000,000). OUT OF THAT COST, THIRTY-SIX BILLION DOLLARS ($36,000,000,000) WERE SUPPLIED BY HIS PARTNERS IN THE KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA AND OTHER PERSIAN GULF MONARCHIES, AND SIXTEEN BILLION DOLLARS ($16,000,000,000) BY GERMAN AND JAPANESE PARTNERS. BUT MY FATHER'S FORMER IRAQI BUSINESS PARTNER REMAINED IN CONTROL OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ITS PETROLEUM RESERVES.
MY FAMILY IS CALLING FOR YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IN FUNDING THE REMOVAL OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ACQUIRING THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF HIS COUNTRY, AS COMPENSATION FOR THE COSTS OF REMOVING HIM FROM POWER. UNFORTUNATELY, OUR PARTNERS FROM 1991 ARE NOT WILLING TO SHOULDER THE BURDEN OF THIS NEW VENTURE, WHICH IN ITS UPCOMING PHASE MAY COST THE SUM OF 100 BILLION TO 200 BILLION DOLLARS ($100,000,000,000 - $200,000,000,000), BOTH IN THE INITIAL ACQUISITION AND IN LONG-TERM MANAGEMENT.
WITHOUT THE FUNDS FROM OUR 1991 PARTNERS, WE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO ACQUIRE THE OIL REVENUE TRAPPED WITHIN IRAQ. THAT IS WHY MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES ARE URGENTLY SEEKING YOUR GRACIOUS ASSISTANCE. OUR DISTINGUISHED COLLEAGUES IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION INCLUDE THE SITTING VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, RICHARD CHENEY, WHO IS AN ORIGINAL PARTNER IN THE IRAQ VENTURE AND FORMER HEAD OF THE HALLIBURTON OIL COMPANY, AND CONDOLEEZA RICE, WHOSE PROFESSIONAL DEDICATION TO THE VENTURE WAS DEMONSTRATED IN THE NAMING OF A CHEVRON OIL TANKER AFTER HER.
I WOULD BESEECH YOU TO TRANSFER A SUM EQUALING TEN TO TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT (10-25 %) OF YOUR YEARLY INCOME TO OUR ACCOUNT TO AID IN THIS IMPORTANT VENTURE. THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WILL FUNCTION AS OUR TRUSTED INTERMEDIARY. I PROPOSE THAT YOU MAKE THIS TRANSFER BEFORE THE FIFTEENTH (15TH) OF THE MONTH OF APRIL.
I KNOW THAT A TRANSACTION OF THIS MAGNITUDE WOULD MAKE ANYONE APPREHENSIVE AND WORRIED. BUT I AM ASSURING YOU THAT ALL WILL BE WELL AT THE END OF THE DAY. A BOLD STEP TAKEN SHALL NOT BE REGRETTED, I ASSURE YOU. PLEASE DO BE INFORMED THAT THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION IS 100% LEGAL. IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO CO-OPERATE IN THIS TRANSACTION, PLEASE CONTACT OUR INTERMEDIARY REPRESENTATIVES TO FURTHER DISCUSS THE MATTER.
I PRAY THAT YOU UNDERSTAND OUR PLIGHT. MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES WILL BE FOREVER GRATEFUL. PLEASE REPLY IN STRICT CONFIDENCE TO THE CONTACT NUMBERS BELOW.
SINCERELY WITH WARM REGARDS,
GEORGE WALKER
Reminds Me. (Score:5, Funny)
We were arranging an essay competition once in my university. Because I was the chief editor (or some crappy designation) of a student club, I was supposed to come up with an email advert, which, after getting approved by the student club president, would have gotten mass-mailed to everyone in the faculty. Needless to say, I was pissed off with the arrangement; surely, there were better ways of spending a Sunday night. More to the point, writing emails wasn't fun.
So, as an effort at having some fun, while at the same time, creatively getting the message across, I took the George W Bush spam and modified it for university use:-
Surprisingly enough, I had to mail my prez thrice to get this through; seems the first two times, he mistook it for an actual Nigerian scam. Poetic success I guess.
No, we didn't mass-mail this version.
Preliminary* List of Events (Score:1)
2) Learn how to connect
3) Learn how to enlrage pennis
4) Learn how to enlarge breasts
5) Learn how to make ppl send you money willingly
6)Last but not least, learn how to make viagra..
Must-read link (Score:4, Funny)
Scary! (Score:1)
This one actually scared me. Imagine starting to receieve these scams on your mobile phone... That would very quickly render text-messages useless.
It's happening, sort of. (Score:2)
Well, an SMS is probably too short (only 160 characters) to explain your scheme/scam in detail, so that might not be very useful.
But there have been reports of normal phone calls where money transfer offers have been made. See for example this newsgroup thread [google.us].
Didn't anyone read the site? (Score:2)
OK. The joke's over. Nothing more to see here.
The J-Walk Blog
More Humor
That must have been a real skim read by CmdrTaco!
Get even... write back! (Score:2)
Here's [terrytraub.org] an example of such a conversation I had! It's actually kind of fun to see how long you can string them a
Best Nigerian Scammer Scammer.. Lovecraftian! (Score:2)
It's quite a funny read.
Har Dee Har Har (Score:3, Insightful)
Of course, any reasonable person would spot this web site for what it is -- hateful -- and respond with well-deserved scorn. However, since I am typical Slashdot reader, I am so intellegent and above-the-fold that these lowly issues do not touch me. I am beyond the hard black and white of issues, able to see through to the underlying grey as Neo sees through to the underlying truth of the Matrix. And though I am an unparalleled genius, I'd rather not waste a nanosecond of my valuable time to think about what I am reading. No! Such consideratioins flit through my massive brain without impression, inconsequential as gnats swarming an elephant. After all, the site is Just. A. Joke. And as all enlightening minds know, the guise of humor makes any topic acceptable.
Even racism.
Ha Ha Haaaaa!
*clap* *clap* (Score:2)
I had posted earlier without reading the link, but yes, after reading about crap such as eating cricket for lunch, I must agree with you. The webpage is, indeed, disgusting racist humour. We may hate spam, but there's no need to vilify whole nations or ethnicities in the process.
Moderators, please mod me down for not getting it.
Well I'm going for the breakfast... (Score:2, Funny)
Breakfast Kickoff Session
Your choice: A hard boiled egg, or two slices of white bread and a cricket
It's hard to find people who know how to make good cricket sandwiches anymore.
Create your own! (Score:3, Funny)
First I thought this was a joke (Score:2)
Now I'm not so sure...
The next wave of 419? (Score:2)
Telecommunications: Soliciting via cell phone text messaging: Can it work?
Having just recently acquired a wireless phone, this is something I'll be looking for...
They've gotten wise to us... (Score:2)
Ok all things considered, would you really feel right with his money considering the things he did?
Nigerian Scam = Capitalistic Darwinism (Score:2)
The only missing part is to wait a few months, then put these scrupulous marketers in the same room with the people they ripped off, lock the door, and move on to a better, more productive society.
Generic SQL now available without prescription (Score:2, Funny)
They are WAY too cheap (Score:2)
Breakfast Kickoff Session:
Your choice: A hard boiled egg, or two slices of white bread and a cricket.
What kind of a meal is that? If I am going to pay almost a thousand dollars to go to this conference, I expect at least three slices of bread with my cricket!
I actually (Score:2)
Thanks Mr. Savimbi!
Re:Got Nigerian Spam? (Score:1)
Re:IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NEEDED: HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL (Score:2)
-psy
Re:None of you guys think that website... (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:None of you guys think that website... (Score:2)
Re:None of you guys think that website... (Score:2)
mod parent up (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Re:Jesus fucking christ (Score:5, Funny)
PS Die spammers die
Re:Jesus fucking christ (Score:3, Insightful)
Re: (Score:2)
Re:Jesus fucking christ (Score:2)
-russ
p.s. I have a mailbox with at least six hundred unique scam letters from (go ahead, guess) Nigeria. Been saving 'em for posterior, or posterity, or whatever.
Re:Jesus fucking christ (Score:2)
Re:Jesus fucking christ (Score:2)
offtopic!? (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Re:Jesus fucking christ (Score:2)
Re:Jesus fucking christ (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Jesus fucking christ (Score:2)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Jesus fucking christ (Score:2)
I would think that this is an indicatior of my assertion.
One point of data does not plot a trend... But if you are already disinclined to find these for yourself, I would be wasting my time in trying further demonstration here on /.
Re: (Score:2)
Re:Jesus fucking christ (Score:2)
I ask for documentation and evidence. Like 95% of the REST OF THE WORLD!!!
Re: (Score:2)
Re:Jesus fucking christ (Score:2)
Goodbye Troll.
Re: (Score:2)
Re:Jesus fucking christ (Score:2)