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It's funny. Laugh.

Protect Your Computer From Theft 182

Posted by CmdrTaco from the this-is-very-important-people dept.
mirko writes "This story is about Personal Computer Security, it describes an efficient way not to have your computer stolen, even if you let it in front of your home for some weeks (Well in this case, it finally was stolen but its owner quickly found it back). You'll need some concrete and a shovel to have your investment secured, though..." Allright, this is just funny as hell. Enjoy.
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Protect Your Computer From Theft More

Protect Your Computer From Theft

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  • The article advises that you shouldn't try and plug it in again... but anyone know what might happen if you did? :)

    Would concrete be a conductor of electricity?

    Might the machine even still work (barring possible overheating w/o airflow?)

  • Re:a SERIOUS thread... (Score:1)

    by Anonymous Coward
    self-destruct mechanisms... if the computer password is typed incorrectly, the entire computer is designed to destroy its own key components.

    Been there done that [slashdot.org].

  • Re:a SERIOUS thread... (Score:1)

    by Anonymous Coward
    > * self-destruct mechanisms... if the computer password is typed incorrectly, the entire computer is designed to destroy its own key components.

    Do this in software. Erase the various firmware of the box (ie: erase DVDrom firmware, HD firmware, ethernet board BIOS and motherboard BIOS)

  • Oh cmon.... (Score:4)

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 23, 2001 @11:53PM (#66026)
    Why, quite obviously you've seen the Windows CEMENT page [geocities.com], and you neglected to mention it. ;)
  • What's your address again?
  • This gives a whole new meaning to the term "rock solid stability".

    ::musical sting::

    ::studio audience laughs::

  • ...tease people who would steal from you.

    Sure hope some frustrated opportunist doesn't come back with a buddy and send this thing through your front window.
  • The main page links are even funnier than this one!

  • >self-destruct mechanisms... if the computer password is typed incorrectly, the entire computer is designed to destroy its own key components

    Heck use more explosives and take the room out...hmmm couple of pounds should do the trick.

    Hmmm a machine that nobody EVER get's the password wrong more than 3 times in a row......heck nice remote LART.
  • What about a modular system for sticking weights in? Maybe instead of a PCI card, you could bolt in a PCI-card-sized piece of concrete. It may not be as heavy in the end, but if you could fill empty space in the case with small individual weights, it might be worthwhile. Is there anything that's cheap, heavy, solid and non-conductive? Iridium weights might be good, but they only satisy two of the criteria. ;)
  • If you stand barefoot on a damp patch on a concrete floor and grab a live wire you will be convinced very quickly that yes, it does.
  • I said damp patch on the floor, not wet floor, to (apparently unsuccessfully) avoid anyone thinking that there was a path for current through the water directly to the dirt under and surrounding the building. The dampness I included to better electrically couple the bare feet to the concrete

    Concrete has a much higher resistance than copper wire, but it still conducts a lot better than the insulation on that wire. The National Electrical Code requires that a building's concrete foundation be made a part of the "grounding electrode system".

  • Just don't do that standing while on a concrete floor holding a live wire, or you'll be electro-corrected. :-)

  • Re:Why bother? (Score:3)

    by unitron ( 5733 ) on Monday July 23, 2001 @07:27PM (#66036) Homepage Journal
    Somebody gave me an old PC-XT. I see this technique as a way to make it lighter.

  • securitier (Score:3)

    by trb ( 8509 ) on Monday July 23, 2001 @06:30PM (#66037)
    check out the rest of the good advice at pccarnage.net [pccarnage.net].
  • Find some (a lot of) thick plate steel/iron/whatever scrap.

    Make several cut-outs the depth and height of the box, then weld them all together like a big sandwich.

    I'm not sure how to get it stuck into the case for good, if you can't weld it in then maybe pour concrete around the edges.
    200+ lbs easy. Cheaper than molten lead.

  • Hey, it's a honeypot for hardware! *grin*

  • Hasn't anyone ever told you that writing out "*grin*" is the most extremely gay thing you could possibly do, ever?

    Fucking faggot.

    And I was so hoping you wouldn't find out about me and your father. I hope you don't think any less of him. He's quite a 'big daddy' to me. *smile*

  • That would be a ton of computing power... sorry... he started it...

    Jeff
  • LILO: linux 1
  • You won't ever, EVER be adding ANY new components to that bad boy.

    That line of criminals not stealing what they can't carry reminds of one of those "stupidest criminals" stories. Seems that some not-quite-bright fellow figured that there was a booming market in stolen car batteries in $SOME_TOWN. He climbed over a brick wall to get at the back door of an auto shop, and moved a a large number of car batteries, by hand, back over the wall. After doing this, he was so tired, he lay down to take a quick nap, which was how the police found him, curled up with his batteries.

    In other words, only non-stupid criminals will not steal what they can't carry.

    --
  • Perhaps the guts from a laptop fitted into a full tower or server case? You could probably bolt one into a server case, get all the interior walls of the case sheathed in concrete, drill some holes for air circulation and cabling, then load up the 75% of the case that's left with concrete. Use a port-replicator to use a regular keyboard/mouse/monitor with the beast, and you could be ready to rock.

    Heck, this sort of thing could mean a lower insurance premium if you have a Powerbook or a Dell, since the concrete may well smother the flames before they really get going!

    --
  • Of course a few ounces of dog sh*t will do the same thing

    It certainly put a stop to the janitor who was stealing people's lunches from the fridge at my old $ORK_PLACE. After eating that sandwich, he was observed filling his rolling trash bin via oral-gastric fluid reversal.

    --

  • Re:Shame on Taco (Score:4)

    by sharkey ( 16670 ) on Monday July 23, 2001 @06:27PM (#66046)
    Maybe Taco can scrounge the net for source and compile his own?

    Except that a grammar/spell checker is supposed to find misspelled words and improper phrasing, then suggest the correct spelling and/or phrasing, not the other way around. Can you imagine what a Taco-built spell/grammar checker would do to a sentence like this?

    My dog has fleas.

    The mind shrinks away from the possibilities.

    --
  • Seriously, would anyone try to grab a PC sitting on a sidewalk? If you see a box there, it usually means "I'm so obsolete I can't be sold: please take me!". I often see these pieces of junk in my neighborhood: who wants them? Even if they worked before, the rain and elements would have ruined them. Forget the concrete. You won't need it.

  • Well... (Score:2)

    by Pope ( 17780 )
    I saw an Apple //e with floppy drive and monitor sitting in a box on the sidewalk 2 months ago. You have NO idea how tempting it was!

    But for a regular PC, never.

  • Bad puns abound.. (Score:5)

    by Soko ( 17987 ) on Monday July 23, 2001 @07:09PM (#66049) Homepage
    "My machine is a real boat anchor."

    "Rock Solid Windows NT!!!"

    "I've heard of firewalls, but that's ridiculous!"

    "Dude, I c4n't haX0r th15 1337 b0xen - i've run ito a wall..."

    .. and overheard in marketing: "OK, the Engineering Department has our new machine's specs set in concrete."

    C'mon - everybody join in....
  • If you wrap most of your components in bubble wrap, you can actually store jelly beans inside your average 486DX2/66 midsize tower circa 1992. Use Saran Wrap instead of the metal case cover.

    No guarantees it'll work, but i have mandrake running on mine (behind a firewall)

  • They wouldn't rock very far with a sheet of lead in them...

    "Give the anarchist a cigarette"
  • Yup - that is it. I have one too :)


  • AH YES! Transcribing 6502 assembler byte-by-byte from Byte.

    Those were the days...
  • even if you let it in front of your home for some weeks
    Grammatically, there's nothing wrong with that sentence. What Taco needs is a good proofreader.
    Yeah, except for the missing verb after "it". What Taco needs is a good editor.
    Actually, there's no missing verb after "it". Let can be used as a transitive verb (this is how you're trying to use it), or an intransitive verb, which is how Taco used it. See the definition at dictionary.com [dictionary.com] for proof.

    I think this is pretty final proof that people bitching about grammar usually do it as an end unto itself rather than because it actually annoys them. However, I sure was confused about this guy renting out his machine in front of his house.

  • and Spafford will consider your data almost secure...

  • Copper (Score:1)

    by evin ( 31167 )
    Copper conducts heat pretty well, and is cheap. Yes, it does conduct electricity, but that's not necessarily a problem. You just need to coat all the surfaces touching the computer with thermal compound.

    The bigger problem is molding it to fit the internals of the computer without exposing the motherboard to the temperature of liquid copper. Perhaps just get blocks of it which you weld together or something.

  • I wonder how this would weigh in with one of those old compaq raid array servers or maybe the original ibm XT case. hee
  • Jeez, that read like Kirk-speak. Where, is the, ensign in the, red shirt, Bones?

    da, ve

  • Re:Don't give Steve Jobs any ideas... (Score:3)

    by miahrogers ( 34176 ) on Monday July 23, 2001 @07:31PM (#66059) Homepage
    Dude macs are seriously easy to upgrade. You don't even need a screwdriver to upgrade powermac g4 or cube. For the powermac just pull on the handle at the side, you can even open it up when the computer is running (not sure why you'd want to though). Turn off the cube, flip it over, push a button and handle pops out, pull out the 'core' and you can upgrade everything. Plus you feel like you're handling a nuclear reactor which is fun.

    Not sure about the imac but it's still easy, and my iBook only took a screwdriver to upgrade. The PowerBook is a bit tough..

    Now compare this to my PCs.. I have to unplug everything on my aptiva and pull the cover off the back, I have to rip off the faceplate on my athlon and then unscrew a side panel. On our dell you have to unscrew a thingy and then push HARD on two tabs and slide it forward. All very complicated stuff.

    Plus on macs you don't have to screw around with IRQs, most of the hardware just works.

    Enough ranting, I just don't like it when people get things that wrong.
  • Damn, I wish /. could let you insert pictures.

    Are you sure about that? cough*goatse*cough
  • You won't ever, EVER be adding ANY new components to that bad boy

    I've added VRAM, RAM, a new hard drive, an external IDE CD-RW drive (OK, it wasn't supposed to be an external drive, but it was a fairly easy hack), and a water-cooling system to my iMac (it's one of the early models that came with a noisy fan). I thought about adding a new graphics card/RAID controller (yes, they exist--Formac made them), but decided I had no use for it. Whoever says iMacs aren't upgradeable just doesn't appreciate a challenge :-) Then there's the guy who upgraded his iMac to a 19" monitor (he sort of transplanted the guts)....

    But seriously, I would think that concrete would be a lousy thermal conductor. Sure, you could probably run for a day before the concrete warmed up to be dangerously hot inside, but then you'd have to let it cool off for a day before you could use it again. You'd probably want to embed a water-cooling system...
  • Don't put windows on this machine, it would be easier to steal than to upgrade the hardware :)

    What, have little "brick" components. Fill the harddrive with gravel? Install with a little mortar?


    Steven Rostedt
  • Did the poster ever claim that Apple was the original innovator? No. Did Jobs? No. Both just said, "Hey... look... it's easy to open".

    ----
  • This isn't too bad of an idea - disregarding the fact that computers are rarely stolen from homes, since they depreciate so quickly, by the time the thief got it to a hock shop, the damn thing is most likely obsolete...

    Really, though - in theory, if one could get a "sheet" of lead - ie, about 14-15 inches on the side and 1.5-2 inches thick - well, bolt that to the side of your tower lid (on the inside of the left cover, if you are facing the front of the machine) - of course, your tower may lean and/or fall over to the left now...

    :)

    Worldcom [worldcom.com] - Generation Duh!
  • 4) Get sued for entrapment and invasion of privacy by the thieves. Curse the stupidity of our legal system while you rot in jail with a Russian who demonstrated the flaws in some ebook software.
  • Or, taking and idea from those wily South Africans, install a flamethrower [cnn.com] in your PC case!

    NVidia graphics... Athlon CPU... IBM disk drives... BernzOMatic benzene...

    - - - - -

  • Re:Don't give Steve Jobs any ideas... (Score:3)

    by sometwo ( 53041 ) on Monday July 23, 2001 @11:32PM (#66071)
    After using Macs for years, I recently built a PC and searched long and hard for a relatively inexpensive case that was as easy to work with as my Powermac G4. If you're looking for color cases, check out colorcases.com [colorcases.com]. The case I ended up getting, though, was the AT900 case [pccase.com] from pccase.com because it was nearly completely screwless. It is not ugly-looking but also not breathtaking like the G4's case. It has a great slideout motherboard tray and drives slide in pretty easily. They also have a black version but I didn't think that it would look good because of the white bezels on the drives. It was a really easy case to work with and it shipped quickly too.
  • Heard about a fellow who got so pained by people stealing his radios / CBs that he built a thermite charge into one, set to go off half a day or so after it was stolen.

    One day it was stolen.

    The next day the news had a story about a fire in an apartment building that apparently started in a closet that happened to be full of used consumer electronic equipment.

    (The trouble with this approach, as you can see, is that many crooks live in multi-unit housing, so non-crook neighbors are likely to suffer serious economic hardship and maybe physical hardship or death, as "colateral damage" to the revenge on the crook.)
  • Found from the net...

    This was apparently done at a Boston railroad station just after WWII, it
    could easily work at airports, hotels, anyplace where someone (skycap,
    bellboy) carries your bags at some point.

    Some MIT students put a large (10lb) electric gyroscope inside a
    suitcase. Also inside was a car battery for power and a hidden switch on
    the outside to activate the gyroscope.

    The gyroscope was mounted with its axis normal to the flat side of the
    suitcase. Thus, if you carried the suitcase normally by the handle while
    walking straight ahead, nothing would happen. If you tried to turn,
    gyroscopic precession would fight you.

    The students got off a train and hailed a porter. As the shen suitcase was
    handed to the porter the switch was thrown. The porter walked towards the
    entrance to the station plaform (straight line) with no problem. As he
    turned at the entrance to head for the taxi stand, the suitcase tried to
    continue in the same direction as though it had a mind of its own. The
    porter pulled the end around, and the suitcase tilted and levitated into
    the air (pivoting on the handle). The porter dropped the suitcase and ran!
    The suitcase bounced on its corners for a few moments before it quieted
    down.

    Try it on friends helping you pack for a trip!

  • Re:Great idea, but it lacks... (Score:3)

    by pogle ( 71293 ) on Tuesday July 24, 2001 @04:13AM (#66078) Homepage
    I think the box would get torn apart on an early theft attempt, limiting the potential humor. Even better would be a box with several remote control options, such as electroshock antitheft (current running through case), a gyro to make the case bounce (thus scaring the wits out of whoever is carrying it) and maybe silly string from a front panel or something when someone bends down to look at it. A clever person with a couple extra dollars could have a lot of fun with this...

  • > I'd be happy to perform this service for the lowly donation of a linux-happy webcam.

    Just be careful that they don't steal the webcam. It would be somewhat easyer to carry...

  • > You know, if your neighborhood is so crime ridden that you actually make room in your house for decoy PCs, maybe you should consider moving somewhere else.

    Actually, this boils down to a simple cost/benefit analysis. It all depends whether it is cheaper to buy new computers every month (because the old one got stolen...) or whether it is cheaper to pay the excessively inflated rents of the better part of town...

  • Re:I gotta try this... (Score:3)

    by BlueUnderwear ( 73957 ) on Monday July 23, 2001 @10:46PM (#66081)
    > Anyone know if I can legally do this if I put up some king of notice?

    Sure, you can legally do this, but don't expect to ever see your webcam again...

  • Re:Other options (Score:4)

    by epeus ( 84683 ) on Monday July 23, 2001 @10:00PM (#66083) Homepage Journal
    Security through obscenity: Fill the hard drive with pr0n and tip off the authorities when it is stolen
  • Okay, the story, the idea, was funny. But, don't you think, that the text, itself, was strewn with just a few too many, umm, commas?
  • I put my case out on the street and wrote "wang" on the side of it with a black marker. I saw the garbage man come back with a lead vest and tongs to haul that baby away.
  • Cute. Would it be possible to fill the case with something heavy that still lets the computer work? (I imagine the biggest problem is finding a material that is nonconductive to electricity but doesn't cause the chips to overheat.)
  • Yes, but the price/performance ratio they claim for the soupercomputer is based on a false assumption that the time and bodies it takes to assemble the cluster are worth nothing.

  • I already have, but I've decided not to use it ;)

    Actually, it's configurable to be able to do anything from 'First Post!' to 'Imagine a Beowulf...' to 'Jon Katz sucks!!'

    Yes, I was very bored.


  • Mmmm... maybe you can get around the overheading problem with copper rebar?

    Plus, it's brilliant for security; even if, say the FBI seizes it in a raid, can they remove the hard drive for analysis without destroying it?

  • Re:Bad puns abound.. (Score:5)

    by rsteele19 ( 150541 ) on Monday July 23, 2001 @08:59PM (#66104) Homepage
    Microsoft Foundation Classes
  • That is the most retarded idea that I have ever heard in my life.

    It's acutally worse than "Jump to Conclusions" in OfficeSpace.

  • Damn!!! (Score:3)

    by the_other_one ( 178565 ) on Monday July 23, 2001 @07:04PM (#66111) Homepage

    I was taking a swig of brew when I read the hornet line.

    I'm now typing this on my emergency backup keyboard.

  • Macs are already hard enough to upgrade.


    --

  • On second thought, there would be the obvious risk of overheating. But the thing would work for a few minutes at a time.

    so on an MS system, you have just enough time to boot before you have to shut down. Maybe?

    Check out the Vinny the Vampire [eplugz.com] comic strip

  • The best OS for this is, of course, Windows CEMeNT [geocities.com], combining the best features of Windows CE, Me, and NT.

    (Yes, the link has a nice graphic of this.)

    I don't why, but it does seem strangely appropriate.

    Check out the Vinny the Vampire [eplugz.com] comic strip

  • You can buy the Silicon in a liquid/pasta form and then you can just paste it up and mixed with the right chemicals it wil get hard, fairly easy i guess...

    Yeah, I think my local restraunt serves that silicon pasta. Blech! :P

    Fuzzy
  • If I may ask, what were the top five investments?

    1. Your wife (not implying that you paid for her, that's simply a large investment in time and money)
    2. Your house (excellent investment)
    3. Your car
    4. Your computers
    5. ?

    I hope number five wasn't Webvan stock.

  • Great idea, but it lacks... (Score:5)

    by doorbot.com ( 184378 ) on Monday July 23, 2001 @07:07PM (#66119) Journal
    ...that "you're a criminal, you're stupid" touch. I'd like to see an extension of the original idea:

    Take a nice Dell/Compaq/whoever box from a new PC. (For you computer guys/gals, I mean cardboard box, not the "computer" or "CPU" if I may use your lingo)

    Get an old PC, do the concrete trick. Or, go one more and use lead or depleted uranium in lieu of concrete. Place computer in cardboard box and seal box (assuming you can lift the computer... a crane of some sort might be necessary).

    Leave box on front porch with note from UPS. Video tape morons as they try to steal it. (You could even contact the police and participate in a massive sting operation). Post videos to website, and proceed to be slashdotted.

    My neighborhood won't work for this, so I humbly beg an upstanding member of the community to push forth with these plans and then entertain us all with keen wit (and video evidence).
  • In other words, only non-stupid criminals will not steal what they can't carry. non-not-can't... Only stupid criminals will (not/no not?) steal... Only non-stup... Uhh...

    Stack overflow

  • Heh... I just pulled a 386/sx25 out of a skip a few days ago. Firing it up revealed 40M Hard disk, 2M ram and Windows 3.0...
    So what did I do? I took it to work, swapped it for the MD's computer... 640x480x8bit on a 19" monitor? Hehehe...

    "Hey, it runs Word, that's all you use the *other* one for..."

  • Take 3-4 cans of expanding foam from the hardware store (the good stuff not the latex). Install them inside your case with a small charge (or just a pointy solieniod) to rupture them in case of multiple password failures. Stand back and wait. The expanding foam should not only destroy the PC, but it should congeal in a 3-4 cubic foot mass all around. That will learn them!

  • Re:You know what.... (Score:4)

    by garett_spencley ( 193892 ) on Monday July 23, 2001 @08:52PM (#66125) Journal
    Which insurance payed for a new monitor and computer. (wonder if that was legal).

    I don't know about your friend's insurance plan. But the insurance that I have does cover computers . And in the event that a computer is stolen it is replaced by a brand new machine regardless of how old the machine that was stolen.

    So if I had a 386 get stolen it would be replaced by whatever computer I want :O) But up to a certain point of course. It will only cover up to like $4k or something. So a Sun enterprise 10k is out of the question.

    When I discussed this with my insurance broker he said the reasoning was simply that it would be a big PITA to track down equipment that old.

    "Ignorance is bliss" - Sypher in the Matrix

    --
    Garett

  • "Gateway: Like a Rock."
  • even if you let it in front of your home for some weeks

    Apparently there's no Word Processor for Linux with a built in grammar checker. Maybe Taco can scrounge the net for source and compile his own?

  • Re:Bad puns abound.. (Score:5)

    by Daemosthenes ( 199490 ) on Monday July 23, 2001 @08:36PM (#66128)
    speaking of puns...
    so what do you get when you combine:

    1.)Windows CE, portable yet powerful handheld OS;

    2.)Windows ME, user oriented Windows mainstay, the sucessor to Windows 98;

    4.)Windows NT, Microsoft's rocksteady corporate OS?

    Why, quite obviously you get Windows CEMENT, the perfect OS to run on this system.

  • Re:a SERIOUS thread...deafen them (Score:3)

    by erotus ( 209727 ) on Tuesday July 24, 2001 @01:45AM (#66129)
    A friend of mine acquired a siren/alarm thing that's used in either Finland or Sweden. This siren is used when families are very snowed in up in the hills in their cabins allowing them to be located. These sirens can be heard for five miles or so in the open. Let's just say he rigged a motion type device in his case so that when the case was tilted too far off balance the alarm would come on. Needless to say, this would cause any burgler to shit his pants and probably be deafened to the point of bleeding from his ears. It was a great proof of concept, but he liked to tinker with his box a lot and having accidently set it off a couple of times he removed it.
  • Well, actually diamonds are VERY thermally conductive and INCREDIBLY good dialectrics - not to mention that they are so dense that they are probably fairly heavy as well. However, it would be pretty expensive to have Debeers custom fit your PC with a diamond casing and diamond dust, and I think it would definately encourage theft if the material was known...

  • Just imagine... (Score:3)

    by kenthorvath ( 225950 ) on Monday July 23, 2001 @06:19PM (#66139)
    Seeing this computer in an episode of the Flintstones!
  • Weld the case into a steel frame (a bit larger than the case) and then encase that frame in concrete (using wooden forms) so that the concrete comes up around the base of the tower (on the outside). It would be challenging, but I bet you could make one that would work (chasis would be welded without motherboard or other electronics in the case, naturally).

    The result would be too heavy to lift but still functional. Drat-- how do I get this thing into the shop?

    Sig: Tell all your friends NOT to download the Advanced Ebook Processor:

  • Security though Adobe: Install Advanced eBook Processor from Elcomsoft, lable accordingly, and leave anywhere near an Adobe office...

    Sig: Tell all your friends NOT to download the Advanced Ebook Processor:
  • Or you could have a decoy rack with a couple of 1u cement boxes for bait....the possiblities are endless!

    Outside the firewall, I imagine... Behind the firewally, you would put your real rackmount. Oh, and when I say "firewall" I don't mean one of those networking gadgets. I man a REAL firewall-- one put in by one of those construction firms...

    Everyone should have their systems behind a firewall...

    Sig: Tell all your friends NOT to download the Advanced Ebook Processor:

  • Oops, forgot to preview :( Or you could have a decoy rack with a couple of 1u cement boxes for bait....the possiblities are endless!

    Outside the firewall, I imagine... Behind the firewall, you would put your real rackmount. Oh, and when I say "firewall" I don't mean one of those networking gadgets. I mean a REAL firewall-- one put in by one of those construction firms...

    Everyone should have their systems behind a firewall... Of course not any wall will do-- I remember University of South Carolina discovering how easy it was to break through a wall to discover the server on the other side (misplaced 4 years earlier).

    Sig: Tell all your friends NOT to download the Advanced Ebook Processor:

  • even if you let it in front of your home for some weeks

    Grammatically, there's nothing wrong with that sentence. What Taco needs is a good proofreader.

    Yeah, except for the missing verb after "it". What Taco needs is a good editor.

  • When I discussed this with my insurance broker he said the reasoning was simply that it would be a big PITA to track down equipment that old.

    What insurance company actually buys the stuff for you? There's a respected used computer pricing guide (I can't remember the name right now) that will list FMV prices for older computers. That's what your insurance company shold be paying.

    Regardless, I've got about 10 386/486/Early Pentium machines that I'd love to see stolen^H^H^H^H^H^H have a good home....

  • Other options (Score:5)

    by spellcheckur ( 253528 ) on Monday July 23, 2001 @06:23PM (#66151)
    Security through fear: Do this in Texas. Write a note on the side that says "This machine under surveillance, if you touch it, I will shoot you."

    Security through obscurity: Get hundreds of empty cases and leave them on your lawn, camoflaging your one PC that actually works.

    Security through insects: Fill it with hornets.

    Security through insecurty: Install outlook. Label accordingly, and leave anywhere near the VA linux offices.

  • Security through insecurty: Install outlook. Label accordingly, and leave anywhere near the VA linux offices.

    Hmm...it doesn't work. I put an obsoleted box labeled 'NT server' somewhere and later found it back with full functional Linux apache server in it. That sucker.
  • You mean a water cooling system like this? [yimg.com]
    (Damn, I wish /. could let you insert pictures. it would be much funnier that way.)

  • Re:Next stage: one that works (Score:3)

    by tb3 ( 313150 ) on Tuesday July 24, 2001 @05:23AM (#66164) Homepage
    This sounds like an episode for 'Junkyard Wars'

    "This week, teams, you have ten hours to build a computer casing that can resist our trusty steamroller!"

    I'm sure the NERDS would be up for that one!

  • Security through insects: Fill it with hornets.

    But I always thought that computer science was about getting bugs out of computers...

    D - M - C - A

  • I have come to realize that the bad grammar and mispellings made by the editors are part of an effort to create a /. mystique. Your attempts to correct them are futile, as have been countless previous attempts, because they are intentionally sloppy.

    The editors are trying to give you the impression that they are 3l337 h4X0r5 with no time for proofreading. That tends to make whole site more 'hip' and compelling.

    This is similar to Dr. Dre rapping about being a common street thug, when in reality he is a big time music industry mogul. They're selling an image.

  • You know, if your neighborhood is so crime ridden that you actually make room in your house for decoy PCs, maybe you should consider moving somewhere else.

  • What the world needs... (Score:4)

    by mgarraha ( 409436 ) on Monday July 23, 2001 @06:18PM (#66177)
    is a good fifty-dollar, two-hundred-pound car radio.

  • The navy encases any electronics that may contact seawater in resin. In a similar vein, I don't see why you couldn't cover the insides with plastic and then pour the concrete. The electronics don't care if they're encased in something, as long as that something is not conductive. Plastic should afford a decent barrier between the boards and the concrete, as long as you were careful to ensure that the electronics were completely sealed.

    On second thought, there would be the obvious risk of overheating. But the thing would work for a few minutes at a time.

  • Re:It has to be said, and said early on... (Score:3)

    by s20451 ( 410424 ) on Monday July 23, 2001 @06:59PM (#66180) Journal

    Imagine a Beowulf cluster of these!

    Less funny than you think. Appropriately one of the first Beowulf clusters [ornl.gov] was called the Stone Soupercomputer. Not that they built it out of stone; it was named after the parable of the Stone Soup.

    There's an article [scientificamerican.com] about it in this month's Scientific American.

  • Re:Bad puns abound.. (Score:3)

    by superflippy ( 442879 ) on Tuesday July 24, 2001 @04:22AM (#66181) Homepage Journal
    "I see you've installed Adobe."

  • a SERIOUS thread... (Score:4)

    by 6EQUJ5 ( 446008 ) on Monday July 23, 2001 @07:47PM (#66182) Homepage
    Not to break our sense of humor but... let's consider some REAL ides:

    hidden background scripts that run at random times and "phone home", so you get the theif's IP address.

    GPS type devices installed somewhere in the computer... connected to the United States' secret orbital bombing platform. You don't get your computer back, but you get revenge.

    self-destruct mechanisms... if the computer password is typed incorrectly, the entire computer is designed to destroy its own key components.

    Other suggestions?

  • if they could make concrete conduct :op Shiet.

    Screw 3...
  • I won't take the credits for the joke though, only heard it today on slashnet, dunno who it was anymore but it cracked me up too :)
    • Imagination is more important than knowledge.

  • Windows CE-ME-NT (Score:5)

    by Dutchie ( 450420 ) on Monday July 23, 2001 @07:16PM (#66185) Homepage Journal
    Just install all three of them in the PC and label it really visibly. Nobody will dare trying to liftup that heavyweight.
    • Imagination is more important than knowledge.
  • Around the office I was always having my pens stolen... until I embedded them in 50lb blocks of cement.

    Of course a few ounces of dog sh*t will do the same thing, and is less straining on the back...

    --

  • You know what.... (Score:5)

    by pj7 ( 469369 ) on Monday July 23, 2001 @06:41PM (#66196)
    I am willing to bet that this machine has more use than the 3 windows machines I own. At least a box-o-cement is worth talking about ;)

    But besides that, what I have done in my house to prevent some pre-puberty bastard from taking my pride and jow was this;
    Picked up a few 486 and 386 computers from a swap meet, I believe I traded a couple 3Com NICs for them.
    Placed my main machines inside a closet and ran extentions for the video, mouse, and keyboard to an omnicube to switch between them.
    Set the ever so beautiful 3(4)86 boxes in the computer shelves of mine and my wifes desks with an extra one of the floor beside my desk and ran dummy cables to the outlets in the back.

    And of course, locked the closet with the main systems in it.

    I know this isn't real security, only obscurity, but it does serve it's purpose. I picked the idea up from a friend of mine in Sterling Hts. Michigan who had someone break into his house. They took his 386 and monitor but left his real machine which was locked in a hollowed out filing cabinet sitting next to his desk. Which insurance payed for a new monitor and computer. (wonder if that was legal). But never the less it worked. I on the other hand have two extra large based cooling fans in the closet on thermostats to keep the temp in the closet down. I am running 1 server and 2 workstations, plus a firewall, all hidden in that locked closet.
    As of today no one has broken in, and I hope they never do. But while I am at work I have a little peace of mind in knowing I have done what I could to protect what is probably on of the 5 largest investments in my life.

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