Journal mcgrew's Journal: Adjustment Disorder with depressed mood 42
I have a new girlfriend -- but waking up sober this morning I don't think I want her.
When my wife left me and my two teenaged daughters several years ago, two months after I bought her a brand new car, I sought counseling. I didn't want my marriage to end. Never mind that Evil-X made Lucy Furr (Tami) look like Mother Theresa. So we had marriage counseling, .
One session Evil-X didn't show up. "Doc", I said to the counselor, a psychaitrist, "What kind of crazy am I that I would want to stay married to that awful woman?"
"Well," he said, "I turned it in to your insurance as "adjustment disorder with depressed mood".
In other words, I don't like change. Odd for a nerd, I know. I like new things, I like changing things (hacking), but I don't like living through changes, especially changes I have no control over. So it was with trepidation that I heard that the new President was promising change.
But some changes one just has to live with; when the situation becomes unbearable, change is necessary, even when it hurts. That was the case with the divorce, and the case with the new President. God help us if he's as bad as the last one. I'm still hopeful.
My house wasn't nearly worth what I was paying for it, thanks to the economic meltdown the previous administration's deregulation and lack of enforcing the regulations it had on the books. The house had electrical problems; one circuit worked when it wanted to. It had plumbing problems, resulting in problems with the kitchen floor. And the new neighbors next door had two dogs that barked constantly. I called the cops about it once, and was told there was nothing they could do. They'd enacted a "noise ordinance", which really was a "loud car stereo ordinance". Chain saws, leaf blowers, horns, are all OK, but you better not have anyone playing a real saxophone in your back seat or you can get a ticket. But dogs? No, they can sing as loudly as they want.
And I discovered that the house was easy to break in to. I'd caught Alan breaking in through the back door quite a while ago, and changed the doorknob. It didn't help; you could jimmy it open with a credit card or driver's license. Two weeks ago I came home to find my special edition LOTR DVDs that my daughter had bought me for Christmas missing, as well as all the food in my refrigerator. There's only one person who would stoop low enough to steall all of someone's food, and that's Charlie (who isn't the saint some of these journals have made her out to be). Alan had thrown her out a while back, and she'd emptied his fridge then, including food Tami had given him. Tami's good about that; she comes up with food and gives it to you when you're broke and hungry. I guess food is a fat woman's idea of the perfect gift.
The situation was unbearable, so I decided to move. Which is one reason there haven't been any Paxil-style journals lately; I'm sure this one isn't very entertaining. Sorry.
Charlie and Alan had tried to make it look like Tami was the thief -- but I've never know her to steal food, but I'd caught Alan stealing food, and Charlie had stolen food as well, as had Amy. And she tried to pin it on Tami, too, despite the fact that all the evidence (including her slanderous lis about Tami, which I was able to verify via a third party) pointed to them and the impossibility of her being the culprit. Maybe they really were hungry, but I suspect that the real reason was to make Tami look bad so I'd let them move in with me; Alan throws Charlie out almost daily, and both of them like staying at my house. All they accomplished was to make me not want anything to do with the three of them ever again.
Patty came home and helped me move. I'd still been seeing Lucy Furr (Tami), who Patty hates. Of course, Patty would hate Mother Theresa if she thought I was dating her. "you're not going to let her know where we live, are you?"
"I might." I tried to tell her that Tami had been good to me; had been there for me when I needed someone, but Patty would have none of it.
Friday night she said her mother had offered to help move. What Terrible Funk?!! "No way in hell", I said. "You don't want Tami to know where I live, I don't want your mom in my house.
I spent the weekend moving. I'm too old for this shit! Tami and I had a few beers at Felbers Saturday night, then had a few more at the old half-empty house. And then went to bed. We had McBreakfast, and I left her there, because she didn't want to face my daughter and I don't blame her. Patty has her mother's temper.
I moved a bunch of smaller stuff in the car, and Patty and one of her young friends helped move the big stuff before Patty took the rented truck back to U-Haul. I had fats food at Burger King, and moved more stuff.
No, that's not a typo. I finally figured out why they call it "fast food" when it usually takes longer to get than a sit down restaraunt. It isn't fast food, it's fats food.
A couple hours later there was no sign of Patty, so I called her. "I'm coming by later", she said, "I have to watch the kids until Chrissey comes home.
I was dog tired; I'm not used to hours and hours of physical labor. Tami called, so I picked her up and we went by the old house. Patty was just pulling up to it. I got out to talk to her, telling her Tami was there to get her mother's ashes and other stuff but she wasn't going to get out of the car because she didn't want Patty trying to kick her ass again.
We put the stuff in the car and went To Felber's. I was so tired I could hardly move. And Patty called. "Mom's helping us move the stuff".
"God damn it Patty, I told you I didn't want her help."
"My own mnother can't visit me?"
"Your sister's father can't visit her," I said. "I have enough respect to stay the hell out of her life, I wish she had the respect to stay out of mine. And I wish you had the respect to visit her at HER house. Leila doesn't drive, so I hardly ever get to see her."
I got a forty ounce beer and went to the new house with Tami. We sat on my still unmade, covered in clothes and stuff bed, and drank the beer. Then Patty came in.
With her mother.
First she attacked Tami, then she swung at me. I threatened her with the police.
"You hit HER!" Evil-X lied. Patty's two friends' jaws dropped. Tami left, and I went back to Felbers. "Beer?" Ruthie asked. "And a shot. Jeesis this has been a bad day."
Mike, the owner, and one other guy was there. Ruthie was tending bar. Mike talked the other guy into calling a cab for a two block ride home rather than driving, since he was more than a little tipsy. He left, too, and I laid my troubles on the bartender. That's what they're for, aren't they?
"I feel like crying", I said. "Go ahead," she replied. "Everybody has to once in a while."
"I'd rather do that alone, but damn... I'm not going to." Adjustment disorder with a depressed mood is a lot worse when your ex-wife shows up and tries to jail you and the one person who has been there for you when you most needed somebody gets shooed out.
A thin blonde came in and sat at the other end of the bar. Ruthie poured her a beer and she talked in her cell phone. "FUCK YOU YOU SON OF A BITCH!" she screamed at it before hanging up. "I'm sorry" she apologized to Ruthie and me. "I've had a really shitty day."
"Me too," I said. "Why don't you come on down and we'll cry on each others' shoulders?" She did.
Up close she wasn't as old as she looked, or as pretty; she had a strangely shaped nose. And she was skinny and had small breasts. A quarter of a century ago she would have been perfect, but my tastes in a lot of things have changed over the years, including my taste for women. I used to like 'em skinny with small breasts (anything that won't fit in your mouth is wasted, I always used to say) until I met Snake. These days I like a little padding. Or a lot of padding. Tami is padded to the hilt. Especially in the chest area, she has huge honkers.
These day I like big tits. I also noticed that the woman had unusually large pupils to match her small boobs.
We introduced ourselves. She regaled me with tales of her ex not paying child support and not being able to make ends meet. "I have a job but it doesn't pay enough."
"I'm in the middle of moving," I said. "And I'm too old for this shit. And my daughter just beat up my girlfriend so I probably don't have a girlfriend any more. You need a new boyfriend? I'm available." She got stars in her eyes; I must not be THAT ugly, I guess.
"Yeah!" she answered, and scooted a little closer. We exchanged phone numbers. God but I'm stupid -- at least, when it comes to women."I shouldn't be drinking," she said, lighting a cigarette that Ruthie made her put out, since smoking is taboo in any workplace in Illinois. "this is the first drink I've had for four months. I'm pregnant!"
"You are? you don't look pregnant!" She opened her jacket and showed me her swollen belly, which I rubbed my hand on. "Gee,I guess you are."
Damn, can I pick 'em?
Her phone rang. After a few words she got too loud for me to ignore. "Yeah, well I just got a new boyfriend and I'm going to go home with him and suck his dick!" We talked for a while, her phone rang and she said she had to answer it outside -- and left. I hadn't even kissed my "new girlfriend".
"That girl's a crack whore!" Ruthie said. "Ya think?" I answered sarcastically, shaking my head. I had another two beers and left.
When I got home, Patty and her friends and mom were moving stuff in. I didn't say a word to any of them and just went to bed. My new girlfriend called me five times. I told her I was way too drunk to go get her.
I woke up an hour before the alarm did, tired as hell. Damned daylight savings time. The real reason they have it is so those who can't afford a plane ticket can experience the joys of jet lag twice a year. I wasn't going to be worth a rotten potato at work, but then I guess nobody else is either. DST sure is great for productivity! Damn, but I hate change. Does that make me a conservative?
I had a hard time finding coffee. Then a hard time finding filters. I couldn't find a cup at all, so I showered and got dressed and went to the old house where I found that Patty had pretty much finished moving, but there was a coffee cup with a broken handle on the counter. I went back to the new house and had a cup, and the doorbell rang.
It was Tami. "I came back about two, I couldn't get you to wake up!" She'd been at Alan's all night. She wasn't in a pretty mood. She showed me the bruises Patty had given her, and bitched me out about it.
"Can you get me at lunch and give me a ride down town?"
Do I get the award for the dumbest nerd in slashdot history?
In buddhism it is sometimes said (Score:1)
In buddhism it is sometimes said that a cause of suffering is "wrong perception"
For example, to show how serious it can be:
http://www.plumvillage.org/dharma-talks/video/143-definition-of-engaged-buddhism.html [plumvillage.org]
War in Iraq, the war of anti terrorist, that war is not help to reduce the number of terrorist in fact the number of terrorist is increasing all the time with the war, because the foundation of misunderstanding, wrong perception, are the cause of anger, hate, fear, in order to remove terrorism, we have
why war exists (Score:1)
What you said is true, but war makes big business a lot more money, it makes politicians powerful, and gives military leaders a "justified" reason for their jobs then.
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What you said is true.
Well, in many ways. It makes some big businesses a lot more money, and can destroy others (see the history of the chemical industry in Germany as a consequence of WWII), it makes some politicians powerful (however, see the consequences for some German politicians in that same conflict), and gives some military leaders a "justified" reason for their jobs, while other military leaders think their job is to fight a just war against aggression to achieve a just peace for all- some thinkin
some (Score:1)
...a little perhaps. It will take a lot to force the cynicism out though. I think wars are really rather simple, just greed, lust for power, etc. I find very little there that is justified when you can get right down and look at it closely. It is usually a matter of a few high level people who have some svengali control over their minions and can make them believe and do what they want. I think very few wars were really a general hatred of an entire peoples against another, unless they had first been brainw
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I do not think you are naive. Cynicism typically comes from hard experience.
I think wars start mainly for the reasons you say, and that your thinking is perceptive. Since someone was wronged and someone is right (Ha!), the trick is figuring out who is who. In my opinion, look askance at the army that invaded. But that would leave out the Cold War, which is basically "War 2.0", similar to that other new game, "ProxyWar".
The question I sometimes consider is, in the years around 1930-1945, Germany and Japan s
Onions (Score:1)
Did Germany and Japan start wars, or did the large international financing and armaments, etc, etc industries start the wars?
It starts to get involved once you look deeper and deeper into the "who profits" angle.
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Of course, war is involved, because there are two sides, and information is not perfect. All this is as I alluded to.
Germany had gripes about how WWI was ended. Japan needed resources. A guy named A. Hitler rose to power in Germany due to popular discontent, and I believe when he moved troops into some country (Poland?), the war was on.
In the case of Japan, there are rumors that they were at war with others before a sneak attack on a US base in Hawaii. Maybe true, maybe not. But I know of no US troops
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Since someone was wronged and someone is right
Simetimes both parties are wrong. Other times it may just be a misunderstanding.
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McGrew, did you note after the portion you quoted, the portion: "(Ha!)"?
I share many of your views. About misunderstandings, see my postings about wrong perception...
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Yes, but I was just adding to it.
Confidence (Score:2)
thanks to the economic meltdown the previous administration's deregulation and lack of enforcing the regulations it had on the books.
You say that with such confidence. Why do you believe it?
Were you picturing some specific acts of deregulation and/or enforcement negligence? Or do you merely believe it because Barack Obama told you so when he was trying to win your vote by discrediting the previous administration?
Disclaimer: I am no Bush supporter--merely a student of economics who doesn't enjoy reading unsubstantiated econ-related claims.
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Agreed, the deregulation happened under Clinton not Bush.
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It wasn't just the Bush administration, the deregulation and underregulation has been going on since Carter. But Bush, whose stance was that government is always the problem and never the solution, was the one whose administration didn't enforce the regulations.
IINM the deregulation that started the economic meltdown started with Clinton.
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Which regulations do you think Bush should have enforced more rigorously? Do you feel that Clinton, Bush Sr., and/or Reagan did a better job? How about Obama?
I'm just trying to get a feeling for who you think destroyed the value of your home, and by what mechanism. You just seemed pretty confident, that's all.
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Environmental regs come to mind. Sauget got a little smokier when he was in office (not nearly as bad as before the Clean Air Act was signed, though).
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Environmental regs come to mind. Sauget got a little smokier when he was in office (not nearly as bad as before the Clean Air Act was signed, though).
I just want to be clear on this. Your claim is that former President Bush's lax enforcement of the Clean Air Act of 1990 precipitated the financial crisis of 2008?
Or just that the value of your house declined due primarily to a reduction in local air quality, which was in turn due to Bush's lax enforcement of the Clean Air Act?
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No, I'm assuming (yeah, I know...) that since he wasn't enforcing environmental regs he wasn't enforcing any of them. Also, the fact that he's one of those "government is never the solution, always the problem" guys.
To give him credit (kind of), he had a knack for appointing unqualified cronies to top posts ("Good Job, Brownie"). If the guy he appoints to enforce regulations is an incompetant twit, the regulations aren't going to be enforced.
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To give him credit (kind of), he had a knack for appointing unqualified cronies to top posts ("Good Job, Brownie"). If the guy he appoints to enforce regulations is an incompetant twit, the regulations aren't going to be enforced.
So if Obama appoints a tax cheat to Treasury Secretary, can I quit paying my taxes? ;)
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If he appoints an unqualified person (not necessarily a tax cheat; I'd think a reformed tax cheat could help collect taxes, much like a reformed black hat can help network security) I think it would be far less likely for you to be caught cheating on your taxes.
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Apparently the only way to get caught nowadays is if you are appointed to a cabinet-level position in the Obama administration.
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You may not be pro-Bush, but you are definitely anti-Obama. Quit playing "just to get honest perspective" and show your cards.
Well, it turns out I am genuinely curious why people so confidently blame Bush for anything and everything.
"Bush caused the value of my house go down." "Bush caused me lose my job." This type of claim I hear all the time, and I like to ask people how they can be so sure. You'll probably be surprised to learn that most people, when asked, are not able to connect the dots between specific actions of the former president and the undesired outcome that they blamed him for.
For what it's worth, I don't see my
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Well, the US certainly wasn't perfect before Bush, but I can't think of a single thing that he did that made the country a better place as opposed to a worse one. When the WTC was bombed during the Clinton administration, the bombers were caught, tried, convicted, and sent to jail. It was destroyed in 2001 and its surviving perpetrator Bin Laden is still at large. And he had been warned by the previous administration, and he ignored them just beciase they were Democrats.
He came into office with a budget sur
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I'll first remind you that I have (and always had) an unfavorable opinion of Bush, and that nothing in this thread should be construed as supporting his actions as president.
As I've said from the beginning of this thread, I am merely interested in learning why people are so confident that Bush ruined their home values, employment, and other aspects of their lives. My undergraduate degree was in The Dismal Science [wikipedia.org]; so while I am no longer a practicing economist, I do enjoy talking about economic policy. I
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My whole reason for initiating this thread was to open a discussion on the following economics-related quote from your diary: "My house wasn't nearly worth what I was paying for it, thanks to the economic meltdown the previous administration's deregulation and lack of enforcing the regulations it had on the books."
Actually I think I misplaced an apostrophe; it should have been "administrations' " rather than "administration's".
I find it a shame that it's nearly impossible nowadays to discuss economics witho
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I've had a poor opinion of economists since 1977 when I took an undergraduate economics class; well, actually I dropped the class the first tine the three PhDs made astoundingly ignorant statements. These dunces couldn't understand why someone in a 1st world country couldn't live as cheaply as someone in a 3rd world country.
The concept of Purchasing Power Parity has been well-documented for the last hundred or so years. I'd be interested to hear the point they were trying to make, because what you describe is certainly an astoundingly ignorant statement, and I'd like to think that someone with a PhD in economics would have been making some type of valid point. Perhaps they were comparing purchasing power with respect to income in the first and third worlds. Certainly you'd have to agree that the 1977 per capita income in Th
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Certainly you'd have to agree that the 1977 per capita income in Thailand was significantly lower than in the United States.
Vastly. They've industrialized since than, according to a Thai intern we had a few years back, but when I was there the only paved roads were in Bancok, and the only electricity was in businesses that had their own generators. Water came from a cictern on the roof. A house in the US would have cost $200 minimum to rent at the time, and a single person at McDonald's was well over a buck
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I tried to point this out to them and they just got silly, saying you can live under a bridge and eat nothing but peanut butter. I'm glad to hear they were the exception (and hope they're retired by now).
I really can't possibly fathom the point they were trying to make. Who cares if you could live on $10/day if you lived under a bridge ate off the Dollar Menu for all 3 meals and got clothes at the Salvation Army? What possible academic significance does that have?
banks still aren't lending.
What kind of business is your friend in? The lending standards have changed, but there are plenty of ways to get money if you know where to look.
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What kind of business is your friend in?
More than one. Two bar owners can't get loans, and a few guys I know in construction are having trouble getting loans for materials to build houses that have already been sold.
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For the bar owners, do they own the actual bar (property), or do they rent? If they have some equity in the bar, getting a loan secured by the property should be a simple matter.
For the construction guys, tell 'em to go to their local REIA meetings and tell everyone they see there that they're looking for construction loans on property that's already sold. They'll get their money.
Hope that helps.
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Most of the bar owners rent. Becky, who owned JW's just died of cancer, it looks like her brother (who she left it to) can't get financing and will be selling it. IINM they own the property. It's a shame, it's a nice bar right next door to one of Springfield's best restaraunts (and it's an expensive restaraunt) right on 6th street where everybody has to pass it going into town.
Of course, George Ranks was right on 6th too, Dave, its owner, blamed the county smoking ban on its demise. He'd been making money h
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So keeping in mind that the 2008 financial crisis began with banks making loans to people who could not repay them, can you say with a straight face that Becky's brother--who has never run a bar before--is a good credit risk? I'm sure he's a great guy and all, but it's not clear to me the likelihood he'd be able to repay the loan.
Same goes for Dave. I'm sure he's a great bar owner, but the smoking ban (I agree, that was outside of his control, but still) caused his business to cease being profitable. I'm
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Never met the guy. Dave can probably get financing; his other bar (and rental properties) are doing well. IINM Becky had some probelms getting financing, she owned the bar, a t-shirt shop, and a boarding house. I never met her brother and have no idea if he's even a businessman.
I'll miss JW's, I hope somebody good buys it.
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We here in australia have come thru with no recession and no banking problems, the reason?
Good financial regulation.
To suggest that regulation would not have helped prevent this is to say the least naive.
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We here in australia have come thru with no recession and no banking problems, the reason?
Good financial regulation.
To suggest that regulation would not have helped prevent this is to say the least naive.
How do you know it was regulation? There are a lot of differences between Australia and the United States. For instance, the number of kangaroos per capita is much higher in Australia than in the US. How can we be certain our sad dearth of kangaroos wasn't the cause?
Anyhow, you failed to understand my original question. mcgrew had specifically called out "Bush's deregulation and lack of enforcing the [existing] regulations" as the cause of his home's drop in value. I had merely asked him for specifics,
Irresponsible pet ownership (Score:2)
It's a problem here in Australia too. I had enough things to deal with, without a confrontation with a neighbor and the damn things were barking throughout the am AND worse barking just as I had drifted off to sleep so many times that I started to have problems drifting off to sleep. It's fucked driving down a freeway so tired in the morning that you almost have an accident - it was destroying my life.
My solution was to build a high frequency (oscillating
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Great idea, I will have to see about that if I have that issue ever.
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iv been taking shots with an automatic bb gun (.2g plasic bbs) at the neighborhood dogs that bark and piss/shit on my lawn.
its a lot of fun, but isnt as effective as what youre describing. thanks for the idea, sounds like a good project for a free weekend!
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Be careful with the bb gun. About fifteen years ago there was a barker just outside my bedroom window, and after a sleepless night I threw a rock at it, and hit it. Its owner called the cops. Luckily I was able to talk my way out of jail; there was no actual proof I threw the rock (my word against his).
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yeah im pretty careful about it. the neighbors have been talked to repeatedly about their dog being an asshole and shitting on my property. i make sure no one is around, and also make sure the dog is actively taking a shit on my lawn before i shoot a few dozen rounds at its ass. a fresh little load of crap would make for some good evidence if someone caught me.
i also get angles so that bbs dont land on the offending neigbor's property.
yes i do put a lot of effort into this, its a lot of fun =]
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I'd collect the dogshit in a paper bag, put it on their porch, light it on fire and ring the doorbell. And leave quickly.