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Comment the other perspective (Score 1) 98

Sarcasm and satire have only superficially similar.

The thing with satire is to create incongruity between the package and its contents.

Some dishevelled fellow shows up, claims he's a world-class chef from Syria, and offers to cook you a five-star dinner in exchange for his own meal. He doesn't look especially Syrian. And you can't make out his accent.

So you say, "well, I'm not sure whether to believe you. I made this pate yesterday, and I'd like your opinion. Just one second." Then you duck around the corner, dip a knife into the kitty litter box, smoosh the fresh excavation onto a nice Wheat Thin that Jr. left uneaten on his plate after dropping it on the garage floor (use the dishwasher, people!), which you then—in a flash of inspiration—decorate with two fish eyes from the fish carcass in the fridge that is now mired in cold gelatin and really should have been turned into fish stock three days ago. Oh, what the heck—let's do this right!—so you add a tablespoon slab of the aging fish gelatin.

At this point, it looks like fancy French cooking (looks can be deceiving). It really looks like French cooking when you extend it with the utmost graciousness on your whitest French serving cloth.

"Syrian chef" picks it up, opens his mouth, slides it trustingly under his nostrils, and is about to bite down, then freezes in an eyebrow-raising display of alarm and disgust.

"Don't be angry! I had to make sure. Do you still want to cook dinner? Oh well, better luck next time. "

"Sheesh. I think he called me a racist bastard in some foreign gibberish. Did he really mean it? Surely he could see my predicament and my efficient solution. Hmmm. I suppose it did look a lot like I was serving him shit on a cracker, Gallic style, from his point of view."

Sarcasm is exactly the same thing, except you can't be bothered with the cracker, the fish eyes, the extra slab of fish gelatin, or the white napkin. You just hold up a dry cat turd with your bare fingers and call it a cheesy, because you really wouldn't want to have to eat a fancy dinner prepared by the colour blind, not even if he really was a great chef in his own land.

Comment Re:So, now is it finally legal to... (Score 1) 300

I keep telling my wife that this is why I want to install a really loud air horn in my car, think semi truck loud, but she says no.

Years ago, I had a '77 Civic wagon in which the previous owner had installed a truck horn with a big yellow button on the dash. Since he also had disconnected the regular horn, I'd have to use that when the driver in front of me wasn't paying attention at a stop light. I'd get some pretty interesting reactions.

I don't know why he would have installed such a loud horn on the car, but it was probably because the original equipment was barely a little squeak.

Comment Re:Youtube next? (Score 1) 173

You're getting your annual check up and your GP suddenly launches into an unprovoked tirade:

These people are showing up and spreading their grubby, contagious micro-organisms all over my scattered nose bag of Cosmo and Golf Digest magazines, why is it wrong for me to use their personal medical data however I like?

Tell me, how would you answer your GP? With your jaw hanging open, wondered why the question even needs to be answered?

In a local community, it's not considered good neighbourly etiquette to broadcast to all and sundry every tidbit of information you glean—right down to the license plate numbers—about who you see coming and going on your street during the quiet hours of the day and night.

But then given the same information at the scale of big city strangers passing in the street, suddenly the attitude is "fuck yeah, what's now mine is mine, let's link!" Cause, you know, if they were willing to bump shoulders with you on the crowded sidewalk in the first place, trading a few jacket fibers in the process, that's all the permission you need to go all CSI on the acquired residue.

In fact, your local dry cleaner gives you a 10% discount if you sign over all data collection rights, and what crazy person would even begin to think that's not self-evidently good business sense?

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