I was going to respond only to your first paragraph, but your last paragraph proves what I'm about to say.
Abstinence education can work, when you encourage critical thinking along with it and do not try to use ignorance to protect innocence. I took what I learned after I was married in Catholic NFP classes, and am using it to teach my special needs son about sex. Being well aware that his body will outpace his mind and critical thinking skills on this issue, I started early with my form of abstinence education- about age 5. Now at 11, he is both protective of his own eyes (hiding during certain scenes in Big Bang Theory, a show he otherwise enjoys) and protective of other people's modesty (necessary, since mommy runs a daycare) . He's already run into homosexuality at school, and handled it by coming to adults with the issue rather than attempting to dissuade a rather aggressive same-age predator on his own.
I have no doubt whatsoever that by high school, he'll be a leader, not a follower, when it comes to sex, and will be armed with the ability to make the correct decision when it comes to abstinence before marriage.
But only because we've talked about it, and because I've been honest.