Journal Journal: Let's try it again, but sober this time 9
I couldn't help it, they had a martini bar and a kickass DJ. Nuf said.
I really was watching the girls, and I really have finally learned to be one - not that I'm Paris Hilton or anything, but I'd say I'm firmly in the fat part of the distribution curve now. Being me, I've applied a ridiculous amount of analysis to the process, and I think I've learned a few interesting things:
1. There is a *big* difference between fashion, and style.
2. People often buy ridiculous things because those things are fashionable, but a very few people have a style that can actually accommodate individually fashionable items. This is why the fashion industry hit the jackpot the day they convinced the world that shoes and handbags no longer have to match outfits. They have convinced an entire generation of women that "who" they are wearing has more meaning than what they are wearing.
3. It takes money. And time. The only way to learn what looks good on you is trial and error. Which means you must watch. And buy. And discard. It isn't just a case of brainwashing by the fashion industry - it is a matter of practice makes perfect - like anything else in life.
4. Eventually though, you hit a stride. You start to accumulate things that suit you, and not only that, they feel really good when you put them on - and not just one nice piece, but a whole ensemble that actually expresses who you are -- in fact, it gets hard not to adhere to your style.
This is the thing that I didn't understand: after a while, it gets easy. Not only does it get easy, but it ceases to be about pleasing others and just ends up being about pleasing yourself. It is another facet of a journey to 'know thyself'.
Lastly, the thing I learned from Ayn Rand is that you can live your life trying to give meaning to the beautiful things about you and never be happy - or you can be the meaning behind the beautiful things. To me, this last thing speaks to our previous conversation on posture - and so very much more.
Anyways, all this blabbering for me is a big deal - because it symbolizes the removal of a crutch that I have long leaned on. I always thought that being smart made up for not being as pretty or as stylish as all the girls that I secretly watched and wished I could emulate. Now I have learned that the physical stuff is just rote learning. I could have had it long ago, but for my own fear of failure.