sillypixie's Journal: Let's try it again, but sober this time

I couldn't help it, they had a martini bar and a kickass DJ. Nuf said.

I really was watching the girls, and I really have finally learned to be one - not that I'm Paris Hilton or anything, but I'd say I'm firmly in the fat part of the distribution curve now. Being me, I've applied a ridiculous amount of analysis to the process, and I think I've learned a few interesting things:

1. There is a *big* difference between fashion, and style.

2. People often buy ridiculous things because those things are fashionable, but a very few people have a style that can actually accommodate individually fashionable items. This is why the fashion industry hit the jackpot the day they convinced the world that shoes and handbags no longer have to match outfits. They have convinced an entire generation of women that "who" they are wearing has more meaning than what they are wearing.

3. It takes money. And time. The only way to learn what looks good on you is trial and error. Which means you must watch. And buy. And discard. It isn't just a case of brainwashing by the fashion industry - it is a matter of practice makes perfect - like anything else in life.

4. Eventually though, you hit a stride. You start to accumulate things that suit you, and not only that, they feel really good when you put them on - and not just one nice piece, but a whole ensemble that actually expresses who you are -- in fact, it gets hard not to adhere to your style.

This is the thing that I didn't understand: after a while, it gets easy. Not only does it get easy, but it ceases to be about pleasing others and just ends up being about pleasing yourself. It is another facet of a journey to 'know thyself'.

Lastly, the thing I learned from Ayn Rand is that you can live your life trying to give meaning to the beautiful things about you and never be happy - or you can be the meaning behind the beautiful things. To me, this last thing speaks to our previous conversation on posture - and so very much more.

Anyways, all this blabbering for me is a big deal - because it symbolizes the removal of a crutch that I have long leaned on. I always thought that being smart made up for not being as pretty or as stylish as all the girls that I secretly watched and wished I could emulate. Now I have learned that the physical stuff is just rote learning. I could have had it long ago, but for my own fear of failure.

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[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

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[sillypixie]

I *was* a hottie then, but I didn't understand. I judged the quality of my looks based on how many drunk frat boys tried to hit on me at the bar (and that number was low). It is a crazy, terrible statement about society and my misunderstanding of my place in it, that I unconsciously chose a zero-sum game as a meter of my beauty - guaranteed to put me in the company of people I couldn't like or value if I succeeded, guaranteed to shred my self-esteem if I failed.

And if guys who weren't drunk-frat-boys to

good job

[gort8]

Just my opinion, but I think physical experience (including appearance) matters even in an objective reality. People of the mind do not reject the physical -- they appreciate it, seek to understand it, and fully experience it.

Beauty and style are cool, like elegance of design and code. Beauty is cool -- intellectual and physical. You've got it. Enjoy it and drink it to the dregs.

As for your last two posts: Good job. I liked the prose -- sober and drunken.

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[sillypixie]

Thank you for seeing the connection, that is exactly how I feel. You expressed my philosophy on this much more succinctly that I could have.

I will drink every drop, I promise :)

style

[tuxette]

What matters above all else is finding the right cuts for your body type and the right colors for your skin , hair, and eyes...

Sometimes it's more difficult to find individual pieces than other times, but not impossible...

I'm so profound after a full day of work ;-)

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[sillypixie]

I agree completely. It takes time, and you have to fish through several seasons of fashion to find the timeless bits. I've also taken to trying to identify other women with a similar body type to me, so that I can see more objectively what works. Just identifying your body type is tough.

I'm hopeless with shoes though. Personally I find most of the Sex & the City inspired shoes that women are wearing to be impractical and downright ugly. I don't want red shoes and silver shoes and leopard print sho

Oblig.

[Captain Splendid]

Fashion is something so ugly
it has to be changed every 15 minutes
but style is something versatile
and in the way you move and in the way you smile

Senser - What's Going On

I have no idea what you look like

[rdewald]

But I've always thought you were hot. And I'd love to get into your pants (not that this really distinguishes you from many, many others) but I have no plans to try. I just say that because it's true and it helps illustrate a point I want to make.

So, there is something other than physical appearance that makes up this attractiveness equation. I could try to come up with a list of qualities I've decided you possess which account for my attraction to you - your intelligence, your genuineness, your self-ref

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[sillypixie]

Richard,

I want to respond, but you've said everything so exactly and perfectly - that I feel that words can only detract, not add.

When I started writing here, I wanted what I looked like not to matter. This was, of course, because I didn't truly believe that the rest of me mattered at all.

Before you can take good care, you have to value what it is you are caring about - I love that you and I know that simple, critical secret.

You can't know what this means to me. It is a wonderful, private, gratefully ackn