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The Geek Compound Prepares for Y2k 445

Posted by CmdrTaco
from the end-of-haze dept.
So with the end of the world less than 48 hours a way, it seemed necessary that CowboyNeal, Hemos, the Pope, and myself all pile into CowboyNeal's gigantic truck thing and trek over to the local mega grocery store to prepare for the upcoming apocolypse. Click the link below to read exciting excerpts from our shopping list... if enough of you do so, then we can officially declare our purchases as tax deductable! Now we'll just cross our fingers and hope that whatever regime seizes control of michigan on Jan. 2 honors deductions from the previous government.

CmdrTaco & The Pope's shopping cart

First off I needed self defense. Since it was snowing, I decided that a large snow shovel would nicely fill the 2 roles: Convenient weapon to be used against intruders aiming to steal my waffles, and after the dust settles, I can also use it to prevent the pizza man from slipping on the ice on my porch and suing me (Or worse, dropping my pizza into the snow!)

Now that I can defend myself, its time to feed myself. I made a fatal assumption: Almost all of my food purchases were microwavable. I purchased a gigantic "Feeds 8" box of lasagna. Since I don't each much, I figure it can last me a month or more. Especially because I'll probably have to it it frozen. Nothing fills you up like an ounce or two of frozen lasagna. My other major food purchase was a box of 60 microwavable waffles, a jello dessert treat, and ingrediants to make tacos on 2 seperate occasions.

Since I'm not relying on my microwave to work, I purchased a bottle of Irish Whiskey and a bottle of Vodka. The Pope opted the yuppie route and selected a bottle of Bombay Saphire gin, vermouth, and olives. The world may be ending, but he'll be having a 9 martini end of days.

For entertainment, I selected 'Hercules', the classic disney film of only a few years ago featuring Susan Egan on vocals, and the amazing Andreas Deja animating a hero instead of the mega villian for once. Again, I realize this is short sighted since my DVD player will require electricity, so as a backup plan, I purchased the most recent issue of the National Enquirer so that after the fall of civilization I could thrill to the stunning tales of George W Bush's Jr's torrid affair, as well as Shania Twain returning to her hubby following... a torrid affair.

Hemos' Shopping Cart

I suspect that Meijer's, a friendly local mega-grocery-hardware-pharmacist-greenhouse-furniture-photo-store was not quite anticipating the sheer flood of people coming in for the "The Apocalypse". However, through sheer perseverance, I was able to secure the most hallowed of all shopping treasures:

6 Gallons Distilled Water. And Whiskey.

That's right - not only will I be able to keep myself drinking clean water, and brushing my teeth regularly (With my new tube of toothpaste, Item #4125056208) as well as flossing (Item #381370099183) but I'll have also have the gift of alcohol. With my natural and well known affinity to Bushmills, I'm already planning how I'll turn the Geek Compound into the Midwest's most powerful distillery. I've drawn up plans on how to convert my former burned out home into a giant high class distillery. From there, we'll extend our control of surrounding area, and parley it into control of the Greater Great Lakes area.

Yes, the power of whiskey.

While those plans are working out though, unlike Rob, I've actually purchased canned goods that I can eat. Yes, stretching from tuna fish to chicken in a can, I'll be sitting and riding on the high hog post World Wide collapse. Assuming my can opener is Y2k compliant.

I also purchased quite a number of vitamins. To understand this point, you should understand that I take about five pills per day - ginseng, selenium, a multivitamin, and a B complex. Wanting to maintain my health and girlish figure for the next thousand years, I've procured the above vitamins - in bulk. Yes, if it weren't for that damn half-life problem I'd be popping vitamins and experiencing natural organic growth for the next thousand years.

sigh But the best purchase of all is the one I couldn't put on there. I've got myself a 50 gallon drum of nanites, which I'll be using to recreate the world as I see fit. I'm thinking Teletubbies.

CowboyNeal's Shopping Cart

My list is short. I've been in survival situations before (I'm referring to family get-togethers here) so I know how to make the most of a situation and be resourceful.

First up, plenty of beer. I figured I was gonna need it to celebrate the new year anyway, and if something should go awry, it'll help dull the pain in my final hours, not to mention that a broken beer bottle makes an excellent weapon for hand-to-hand combat. My choice in brew (for the inquisitive) was Bass Pale Ale.

A snow shovel. Since I moved, I've been without s snow shovel, which has been a bit of a pain since Michigan is an area that seems to attract quite a bit of snow. If the apocalypse should happen to miss me, I still think there will be snow to shovel in the next millenium. Also, it makes a wonderful weapon for self-defense, but with a much longer range than the beer bottles. (CT:The epic battles between CowboyNeal and CmdrTaco will do for shovel combat what The Highlander did for swords. Check your listings for pay per view showtimes).

Candles. And not just any candles, I got religous candles. Each one has a prayer unique to that candle. I"m not even Catholic, but I figure I may need light when the power goes out, and why not have God's help on my side? If I am gonna survive, why not do it piously? I'm already thanking God that they were priced to move.

Batteries. My usefulness for a generator could come and go, but I figure batteries will stay in style well into the next millenium. I got enough to power my flashlights and some for my discman as well. Regardless of what happens, I'm sure they'll see some use.

I didn't concern myself with food or water so much, because I figured I could just melt some of the endless supply of snow outside for water, my parent's house is just a short drive away where my father will no doubt be out killing for food first chance he gets.

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The Geek Compound Prepares for Y2k

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  • The AK-47 won't do you much good, since you're one person. When you run into a group of well-drilled expert-marksman survivalists, you'll be toast. When you run into an SUV accessorized with half-inch steel plate, you'll be toast. And roadkill. When you try taking something from a house with murder holes over the front porch, you'll be chipped meat on toast. Literally.
  • I don't think the power is going to go out, I don't think there will be mass hysteria, we won't be returned to the Stone Age. But if all the computers break, we'll be plunged back into the bleakness of the 1970's.

    Trouble is, there's no place to buy leisure suits anymore.
  • I run a used bookstore [homepage.com] and have approximately 30,000 Y2k compatible information storage and retrieval devices in stock.

    If the apocolypse comes, I expect books to be the next TV, and I'll be a millionaire.

    Of course, I'm obliged to point out, as a purveyor of information, that neither the century, nor the millenium, are due to end until the END of 2000. 11 eggs do not make a dozen, and there was no year zero. Just because everybody on TV is an idiot, doesn't mean you have to be.

  • true hurricane Floyd story:
    Hey, I was ready this summer with a 3kw generator and two 120A/h marine deep discharge batteries powering a converted 650W computer UPS that'll keep lights, stereo and vid games (only essentials) going during power outage - when Floyd knocked us out for about 6 hours I had to fire up the generator to make microwave popcorn - oh the horror of it all!

    Boojum
    backing up stuff like there's no tomorrow

  • You can find a number of Apple II emulators for Linux at ftp.apple.asimov.net/pub/apple_II [asimov.net]. However, the IBM PC style 360K floppy drives physically cannot read Apple formatted 5.25" disks, as PC's use MFM encoding and Apple used GCR. Not to worry though, because most of the popular stuff has been put into disk file images that are also available for download. Unfortunately though, I didn't see Oregon Trail on that site, but maybe someone will upload it.

    Damn, I should have previewed. :-(

  • ROTFLMAO

    I thought it might be something like that. I realized about 30 seconds after I posted that the other alternative was that your neighbors were vegatables, or close enough to it for government work.

    Mmmm, seitan - ray's wheat meat kicks ass (yes I know it's not tofu - but it's all in the same section of the food mart).
  • When you use a computer I bet you get a lot of ID 10 T errrors, don't you. A smarter man (such as myself ) would have purchased BB guns instead of the plastic dart guns you bought. And everyone knows if your stocking up on liquor you need to get the huge jug of Sothern Comfort. And don't forget to set the date on your laptop back to 1998, at least this way when everything shits the bed you get to look at your saved porn.

    Got Porn?
  • Well, barring any Physical problems (ie HD failure, but that can be easily fixed) or oxidation, my little 3 year old Mac's system calendar is good til the year 27,000 AD or something like that. It also goes back to 15,000 BC, in case of time warps.

    I plan on keeping the thing til it dies or I do, which ever comes first :)
    I hope LinuxPPC is as forgiving!

    Pope
  • Pentium II processors also make good drink coasters or toilet paper substitute, never both at the same time though.
  • C'mon, you already have something like $1.5 million, w/ a $90,000/year salary, do you really need to declare your Pizza Rolls as tax-deductable?

    j/k
  • how will you land if there are no landing lights?
    Actually, if the lights go out in Chicago one should point the nose of the plane to the south. Like Florida.
  • you'd think you'd have no problem buying a power generator and lots of backup gasoline :-)
  • multi-stagers make GREAT missiles.

    believe me, I know from experience.

    BTW, anyone know if it's a federal crime to shoot down a mail plane over the Adirondacks?
  • Actually, a good bonfire around any bunker will suck up enough oxygen to kill the inhabitants. This is a lot more probable than a Molotov cocktail.
  • I believe you can find a shrinkit archive of Oregon Trail here [uiowa.edu]

    Check the file list, and search for oregontr.shk and you should be able to find it.

  • Uh, that's what I'm doing. Did anyone actually stock up on food? Hello?

    Some gun-toter once said "If one person has food and another has a gun, the one with the gun is gonna eat." He forgot that if both people have food, they'll both eat, but if they both have guns, than neither one will eat.

  • no matter what happens, grocers and retails are cleaning up

    Right up to the point when there's a riot (whether or not anything really happens at Y2K), and all those grocers and retailers are looted, losing all the profits they made preY2K to clean up the mess.

  • Funny--I was just thinking, as I packed this morning for my weekend in darkest Vermont, that this will probably be the only time I ever bring a battery-powered emergency radio and a pair of cufflinks on the same trip.
  • It looks like its in the incomming directory..

    Prehaps the /. effect will influence the maintainer to move it over to a +r dir...

  • Things will happen for the simple reason that the person who made this post [slashdot.org] and the person who made this post [slashdot.org] and people like them are going to make them happen.

    The computers will be fine of course, but think about it from these people's perspective: you're sitting around, it's new years day, you have all this stockpiled ammunition.. you aren't going to bother to find out whether civilisation really collapsed or if the ATMs aren't working or if your pager doesn't work. That's too much trouble. You'll probably just assume civilisation has collapsed and start looting anyway, especialy if you've been drinking all that stockpiled vodka and whiskey.

    Get enough people doing that, and civilisation will collapse with or without the computers. Happy new year!

  • a copy of your bank statements etc, now that you are paper millionaires...

  • by tilly (7530)
    I thought it was him, but I wasn't sure.

    So I made sure I didn't make it sound like it was original.

    BTW another unoriginal quote I like...

    "If you can't laugh at yourself, eventually other people will."

    Showed up in a discussion on why a spoof [ubersoft.net] of slashdot keeps on getting rejected when people submit it...

    Cheers,
    Ben
  • by pieguy (113993) on Thursday December 30, 1999 @05:44AM (#1432752)
    All I need for Y2K is an AK47 and plenty of ammo. Anything else I need....I'll just take.
    ------------------------------------
  • I'm just boycotting the whole damn thing... No bottled water, no ammo (the slingshot I own and lego man heads will have to do), and whatever I have in my house... which, as usual, consists mainly of hard cider, fine german liquor, and cup o' noodles. If need be I'll just build something out of my mindstorms and program it to go out foraging for me...
  • oh, that bites
    $ cal 27000
    cal: illegal year value: use 1-9999
  • hey, the cluser of "D" engines is really cool.
    If it doesn't melt your engine mount.
  • don't even try compiling...

  • Well, I gotta go food shopping tonight anyway, then get up REAL early tomorrow to do some last minute laundry. I ain't gonna face no Apocalypse with dirty underwear!
    Things I still need are: candles, booze+mixer, water, more fresh fruit, and a flashlight. I should probably have all of these around the bunker anyway.
    I have enough toys to last for a lifetime: a brand new Scrabble game from X-Mas (play me for food!),
    a giant box of Lego, rescued from my parents' basement (I figure I can make a new barter system using it),
    a set of electronic drums and a bass guitar,
    enough comics and magazines and novels to keep my whole block occupied, or burn as fuel,

    I live in a basement with tile floors, so if the heat goes off, I'll not be every happy. However I got a brand new pair of Docs last week, so I can at least stomp whoever tries to take my stuff! :)

    PS I'm not the Pope in the article, it's just a family resemblance.


    Pope
  • by tilly (7530) on Thursday December 30, 1999 @05:48AM (#1432761)
    "As you know, some people are stocking up on food and water to prepare for the upcoming collapse of civilization. I'm not. I'm stocking up on guns and ammunition so I can *take* the food and water from all those people who didn't figure out what collapse of civilization means!"

    Cheers,
    Ben
  • by MrScience (126570) on Thursday December 30, 1999 @07:12AM (#1432762) Homepage
    I've got a family of five to take care of, so I'm not taking chances. The store was out of water last night (one full isle was empty!), but this morning I snagged 50 gallons (red cross says 1-3 gallons/day/person, so that should last 10-20 days)

    If nothing happens, consider donating your stockpile to your local charity. There are plenty of people that need the food, and that's what I'll be doing after a few days.



  • My list is simple.
    • Water
    • Kerosine and Kerosine stove
    • Warm clothes and blankets
    • Ramen
    • Canned food
    • Can opener
    • Powdered drinks
    • Jerky
    • Pictues of friends
    • Dog food for dog
    • 2 cases of 00 buckshot
    • 2 cases of .40 180 grain jhp
    • 2 cases of .22lr 40 grain
    • 20 cases of 155 grain 9x19mm FMJ for the Uzi
    • 10 LAWS rockets
    • Deisel oil for surplus Sherman tank
    • Spare batteries, gasoline, oil and .50 BMG belted ammo for Honda (for autodueling)
    • EMP generator with 50 mile radius to wipe out all non-shielded electronics in the Portland-Vancouver area
    • Toothbrush
    • Toothpaste

    Anything else you could recommend?

  • The plane has a landing light (like a huge floodlight). I've landed at small country airfields (grass strips and the like) at night with no runway lights -- it really isn't too difficult. If the city goes dark we plan to head south-west, to a particular airfield we know quite well with a very large runway (LOT, Lewis University), 7000'. This assumes total power outage everywhere -- if power outages do occur but are limited in scope, finding an area of lights and landing at a nearby, well-lit field will be a non-issue.

    Areas of firework activity are NOTAMed (NOtices To AirMen) and temporarilly prohibited. 1000' above the ground is plenty hight to avoid fireworks. Avoiding bullets is a non-issue. We will avoid clusters of such activity, such as Cabrini Green and parts of the South side, but even if we did not, 1000-1500' AGL is high enough rob all but long range rifle bullets of nearly all of their energy. That danger is not too significant, and we will be avoiding the areas of greatest gunfire activity. As for big geek rockets going off, it is possible, though it would be extremely illegal to do so without NOTAMing the airspace ahead of time (if they go higher than a couple hundred feet, and the FAA does go after people who do that sort of thing unannounced and thereby endanger air traffic, especially in the vicinity of large airports such as Midway and O'Hare). The likelihood of that is very, very small. Being anyplace on New Year's Eve (Y2K or not) is a calculated risk, butIMHO hanging out in the average big crowd is much more risky than our little jaunt over the city will be.
  • I hear you there, I'm the Y2K dood for the College of Humanities & Fine Arts at the University of Northern Iowa, and I've got all of our systems taken care of except for ONE GUY, a Prof with a Pentium 120 running Windows 3.11 and a slew of old software. I've been trying to get his computer updated for a month and a half, to no avail, he's never available. I guess he'll have some fun when he gets back, it'll be interesting to have a test case to observe, if nothing else. :)
    ---
  • Yeah why not.. I mean they've always been magnates for positive PR in the past ;)

    --
  • Actually, this is being worked on, believe it or not.

    See RFC 2550 [isi.edu] for all the glorious details. I'll leave it to you to decide whether it is a reasonable assumption that the computer systems of today will really outlast our solar system (let alone the end of the universe) and/or still have the same system of time (24 hours, dated from 1 CE, etc) many many years from now (the RFC extends *that* far). Either way, we'll never have a rollover again if we follow the RFC.

  • the geeks at the compound can use their PII processors as TP
  • If the end of the technological world means the end of first posts, Natalie Portman's whatever, gleeps, and all the other debris that keeps Slashdot from being as great as it should be, maybe it'll be worthwhile after all.

    I'll miss the Simpsons though.

    Oh well, c'est la guerre.

    Goodbye technological era, we hardly knew ye. heh heh



  • by Skip666Kent (4128) on Thursday December 30, 1999 @08:02AM (#1432797)
    Fill yer own damn bottles! It's that easy!

  • by Wellspring (111524) on Thursday December 30, 1999 @07:23AM (#1432805)

    I know what the collapse of civilization means.

    My list includes a bastard sword, chain mail, soft leather boots, a number of belt pouches, my trusty travelling spellbook, and fifty feet of rope. As long as I don't bump into El Ravager or Teflon Billy, I should be just fine!

    While you puny mortals use your thrice-cursed 'technology', I will be racking up easy experience points taking out dead-eyed suburbanites as I become the Elvish fighter-mage I was always destined to be.

    Tell Bill [theonion.com] that in the coming Age of Sorcery that there can be only one!

  • My local electric company, Jacksonville Electric Authority, already sent out past due notices this month to some customers that apparently haven't paid their bill since December of 1899. The article didn't say anything about the 1.5%/per month late fee though as far as I know. And my electric bill hasn't arrived yet so I can't check mine out first hand.

    Forgive my lack of confidence in the "nothing's going to happen" attitude. Not that I'm freaked out either. Whether I live or die, I won't have to sit through any more Y2K meetings--provided I'm not sent directly to hell for eternity after the New Years Eve party ;)

    numb
  • The only NOTAM is for a laser light show near Aarora (169 radial of the DPA VOR, 8.6 nm from 0400 - 0800 zulu - 10:00pm to 2:00 am local time). Fireworks will not be a factor, as they go nowhere near high enough to be a factor (we can circle at 500 feet AGL and watch them if we like). Of course, bullets and amateur rockets are not NOTAMed. My biggest fear, though, is that the forecast will change for the worst and we'll have to cancel the flight because of low ceiling. So far it looks promising, though.

    The ATC systems all rollover at 6:00 PM Chicago time (0000 01/01/2000 zulu time). If that jetliner starts falling my way ATC *should* be able give me a traffic advisory, assuming they are still operating. If they aren't, I'll have 6 hours warning -- unless of course the power drops, in which case I'll have instantaneous warning by looking out the window.

    What's life without a little risk? *grin*
  • As I'm sure many of you have noticed, the best way to play Oregon Trail was to forgo things like food at the start of the game, stocking up on ammo instead. Then, you cut a swath through the wildlife on the way out to Oregon to feed yourself.

    No, the only way to guarantee a win is to buy large negative ammounts of food and ammo, and use the proceeds to buy several hundred oxen, which will carry you accross the country in one day of game time.

    Some versions had some kind of weird bug that prevented this strategy from working, however.
  • by dattaway (3088) on Thursday December 30, 1999 @05:50AM (#1432871) Homepage Journal
    I'm inspired. I'm not expert about Y2K issues, but I'm afraid my refrigerator is not yet compliant. One trip to the liquor store down the street should fix that. Maybe put one of these X10 sensors in there and a perl script to log a pretty graph through a www interface if I need to check the temperature of the vital beverages. It never hurts to be fully prepared for events that only happen once in a 1000 years.
  • Along the lines of amusing Y2k quotes:

    "Trust the computer industry to shorten "Year 2000" to Y2K. It was this kind of thinking that caused the problem in the first place."

    Thought I'd share that quote with the community - quite amusing I thought.

  • For example:

    1/1/99: Nothing happened
    9/9/99: Nothing happened
    10/1/99: Nothing happened
    GPS Rollover: Nothing happened

    Case in point: it's almost unlikely something will happen. But it's still good to prepare anyways.
  • I bought about 150bucks worth of soup, and since we have a woodburning stove, and live backed up to a Nat'l forest service land, we are good to go! Oh, and I got about 20bucks worth of different medicines... Noone ever thinks of that. You get sick, and yer outta there when all the doctors are nuked.

    Happy Y2Trae! ;)
    OctobrX [octobrx.com]
  • I sent these around at the end of my last e-mail to all staff where I work...
    • Take a torch - preferably one of those soft lantern things.
    • Take a portable radio or TV - you want to know what's happening.
    • Don't go on the roads until dawn unless you absolutely have to.
    • Don't get blind drunk, you'll need your wits about you.
    These are for Australia, as we don't need to worry about the cold. Northern hemisphere residents should also concern themeselves with a sleeping bag, a rug and, if celebrating away from home, at least two nearby places to crash for the night (so at least one might have heat).
  • by georgeha (43752) on Thursday December 30, 1999 @05:55AM (#1432913) Homepage
    I bought a bunch of Passover candles last spring, as they're certainly Y2K compliant (I just hope they're Y5.760K compliant!).

    I also bought an Air Zone Micro Rapid Fire EZ Squeeze 4 Shooter on sale, and am filing down the barrels to increase the missile speed (some of which barely clear the barrels). Any Y2K invaders better be ready to face a ruthless barrage of foam darts! And I have a bunch of snow shovels for hand to hand combat, as well as a non working 20 meg 5 1/4 inch hard drive to cudgel with.

    I still have to get 3 1/2 pounds of honey, 2 1/2 pounds of light malt, 1 pound of corn sugar, lager yeast and lots of Cascade hops, I want to get a batch of Papazian's famous Rocky Raccoon honey lager fermenting before the big day.

    In the event we have to evacuate, I bought a sled and affixed a rope to it a few days ago, so I can cross country ski away while pulling my daughter and computers.

    George
    • Monitors can be turned into handy solar ovens. Carefully remove the front glass plate, being careful not to destroy the rest of the glass inside. Line with tinfoil and place in front of the fire. Instant oven.
    • Cat5 can be used for tripwires to discourage those pesky looters, or in longer lengths to build a cable bridge across those deep mountain gorges.
    • Stacked computer cases can be used to create walls and barricades. By plugging the ventilation holes the dead air space can be put to good use as insulation. A few large office buildings should contain enough to build a comfortable dwelling.
    • Computer power cords can make excellent weapons by using the three-prong end as a mace or whip. Especially useful are power strips with a convenient handle and cord attached. Mice also fall into this category.
    • CDs can make mirrors, frisbee of death, or can be broken in half and used as a slashing tool. Whole they will also function as primitive shovels. Breakage will not be too big of a problem, especially with the vast stockpiles of AOL and other ISP CDs.
    • Floppy disks can be ripped apart and the inside cloth covering can be used for fire starting material. Making "disk bombs" will also effectively start fires. Save the tiny springs inside, you never know when they will be useful in bandit-discouraging traps.
  • 1st Millenium: 0-999
    2nd Millenium: 1000-1999
    3rd Millenium: 2000-2999

    In any base 10 numerical system, you have to account for zero. Are you trying to tell us that the ten digits of the decimal system are 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10? Are calendar systems exempt from the basic rules of math? Exactly what planet are you from?

    11 eggs do not make a dozen

    Thanks for the tip! And remember - an empty carton contains zero eggs. (That's not a dozen either, in case you're wondering ;)

    there was no year zero

    Sure there was. It was the one before the year 1. Some call it '1 BC', but what's a little relativity among friends?

  • by kootch (81702)
    I've heard rumors about the spam and ramen combination.

    The rumor is that through the excessive imbibing of preservatives and salts used in the packaging of these two mainstays, it is possible to increase your life-span because of their intrinsic ability to preserve foods through long periods of time...

    they induce a sort of hibernation after a month of that being all you eat, at which point, you go into stasis. At any given moment, people can "thaw" you out by soaking you in a vat of warm water (similar to what was done with Han Solo in "Return of the Jedi"
  • by SilverSeed (117791) on Thursday December 30, 1999 @05:59AM (#1432935)
    And the AK47 will come in handy once I go crazy from seeing the word "Y2K" so often...
  • Well, I don't know about you folks, but I'm pretty much ready for Y2k. I did my shopping last week. What'd I buy?

    * 1,500 rounds of .22 hollowpoint ammunition
    * 250 shells for 18ga shotgun
    * 250 shells for 12ga shotgun
    * Equipment for cleaning rifle scopes
    * Gun cleaning equipment
    * 30 cans of tunafish
    * 10 jars of peanut butter
    * 10 jars of jelly
    * 6 loaves of bread
    * plenty of bread making supplies
    * 240 12oz. cans of pop
    * 2 tons of bituminous coal for the coal heater

    So let's justify it!

    .22 Ammunition - Hunting for poli, er, uh, food.
    18ga Ammo - Hunting for mili, er, ah, food.
    12ga Ammo - Hunting for riot, er, um, food.
    Scope Cleaning - Hunting for.. er.. nevermind :)
    Gun Cleaning - You know what.
    Tunafish - Gotta eat!
    PB & J - Gotta eat!
    Bread - Gotta eat the rest on something! ;)
    Bread making - Well, if we run out of sliced... ;)
    Pop - We're very very thirsty. *grin*
    Coal - Well, er, we usually buy that much coal.. just not that often. ;)

    So, who wants to go riot, er, hunting for.. supplies and.. uh.. food with me? }:)

    =RISCy Business
  • Gin? Vermouth? Whiskey? Beer? I didn't hear "everclear" did I?

    Sounds like my plan - the world may be going to end, and you may end up with hideously fatal wounds that will chew you apart from the nuclear fallout, but they won't even care because they'll be so sauced up they probably won't even look up from whatever game they're playing at the time.

    Reminds me of a quote from a RedMeat comic strip -

    "You know Karen, I've been troubled lately by the possibility that a giant meteor could come hurtling out of the sky at any moment. The initial cataclysmic impact would kill millions instantly. The ensuing cloud of dust, smoke, and steam would destroy all remaining life over the next few months. During that time, the survivors would play out their remaining days in a grisly carnival of cannibalism and unimaginable agony"

    Be that as it may, I'm sure I'm not going to be the only one that will probably be somewhat impaired on new years eve.

  • by DanaL (66515) on Thursday December 30, 1999 @06:01AM (#1432938)
    Lucky for me, I (like many /. readers, I suspect) live in a time zone that provides plenty of time to prepare.

    I get up for work every morning at almost exactly midnight, Aukland time, so if New Zealand society collapses, I plan to skip work and go back to bed for a few hours, so that I am well rested for all the rioting and looting. I'm not generally inclined to riot and loot, but as has been mentioned before, Winnipeg is awfully cold in the Winter so we will have to riot and burn things to keep warm. (I am again fortunate, because I have almost 5 years of accumulated University notes to use for fuel)

    As for food, I'm a vegetarian, so I have to be a little more picky in my food choices (I can't eat my neighbours, at least not many of them). I'm hoping that the canned peas and carrots will be left for last at the grocery store.

    Dana
  • It only takes a couple of minutes to paint "death to the infidel!" on it. Who knows, you might even hit me. :-)
  • toilet paper...
  • A friend of mine and I are going to take our planes up and be airborn over Chicago at midnight, simply to mock all the Y2K-panic stricken people afraid to fly. Of course, both our planes have gyroscope-driven instrumentation and radios from the 1970's, none of which have ever cared about the date. A 777 with a glass cockpit might be a little more exposed to potential Y2K issues...

    Still, it will be fun to thumb our noses at Y2K, and who knows -- if the airports are as quiet as everyone is predicting, maybe O'Hare will finally let us into their airspace and do some low passes over that huge runway! Plus, if all the lights in the city go out all at once, what better place to watch that than from 1500 feet overhead? :-)
  • Okay, bought two weeks of food and water and juice and etc. Went by the local cheap department store sporting goods racks looking at the shotguns.

    Mmmmm. Shotguns.

    Area effect to make up for lack of gun skills (at least compared to everybody else that plays ^%$*$# Unreal Tournament Deathmatch. @^##@^&$$!!!)

    But, alas, it was not to be. My lovely wife reminded me that paranoid, short-tempered people shouldn't be allowed access to firearms. Can't imagine how paranoia and short temper came up, unless it was that little "And when I'm finished blowing the heads off the aliens that are using Y2K to take over, I can put them on Tiki Torches in our front yard!!" comment.

    That was my mistake. She hates Tiki Torches.

    So, all I have to face the New Year is a razor-sharp Highlander katana replica. There can be only one, and with all the firearms out there, it probably won't be me...
  • by cheese63 (74259) on Thursday December 30, 1999 @06:06AM (#1432981)
    Your plan is a little short sighted. You see, I stocked up on guns and ammo, but I also have an underground bunker. I figure I can take the first 30 or so intruders with the blasts from my shotgun, but after the mob climbs over the pile of dead corpses I'll be forced to change out of my army fatigues and into my civilian clothes, and then shout "lets take his food" in an attempt to blend in with the mob. I'll quickly pull one of the corpses over and dress him/her up in the army fatigues, and then claim that he was the shooter. I'll become a hero among the mob, and will assume the position as absolute leader. I'll direct my group to the local armory to overrun the government task forces and take control of their guns and tanks. With my newly armed troops, I will then take control of the region, and later the world.
  • At least I'm going to know where my towel is. Christmas lights may also come in handy in case I have to strangle a few "trespassers."

    "Now you get off my propr'ty, y'hear ."

    Of course, I'll probably be very drunk when the clock does go around. I'll also be waiting at the main breaker box for whatever building I'm in for the crowd to yell "happy new year!"

    Imagined sounds: "vvvvvrrrrrrr-r-r--r--r", "AGGGGGGGH, it was all true! The four horsemen are coming!"

    Ah the pains I go through to amuse myself.
  • No you just pack it with Snow. (Ofcourse we havn't had any snow yet here in boston, so all bets are off).
  • by Markonen (56381) <marko@karppine n . fi> on Thursday December 30, 1999 @06:08AM (#1433019)
    This morning I woke up to the rancid smell of perishing perishables. Little inspection proved the hypothesis -- my refridgerator had decided it was best to store my food at room temperature. This was curious, but I *really* started to get irritated when my microwave didn't work either. At this point my primary suspect was an unpaid electricity bill, but the fully-functioning TV, Hi-Fi set and general lighting made that unlikely.

    I spent most of the morning trashing my food and wondering what was going on.

    Moral of the story: the fuse box is a great starting point in any Y2K -related practical jokes you are planning.
  • In California, we keep bottled water handy in case of an earthquake, by which a severed water main can either a.) cut off your water supply or b.) contaminate your water supply. But why is everyone going apeshit over hoarding water for Y2K? Is an old Win 3.1-based 486 controlling your city's water supply? I'm not an expert in municipal water or anything, but I would tend to assume that the natural-laws-of-physics-driven flow of water would continue regardless of what year it is. If you're worried about the second-coming, then you should at least be looking forward to the free wine that will be coming out of your tap!
    -------------------------------------------- --------------
  • by Duxup (72775) on Thursday December 30, 1999 @06:09AM (#1433033) Homepage
    My current employer provides various wan networking support around the world so for 48 hours our company is going to be 95% staffed during that time. After our last (thank you lord) Y2k meeting the following bits of advice was issued from my employer via memo:

    For the 5% who will not working over the event (Y2k) please if you drink, have a designated driver.

    For those of you working over the event please use the designated drivers we will have here on site, we'll be drawing straws to see who they are tomorrow. (This one is actually true.)

    For those of you brining weapons to work for the event, those with the better weapons get the better parking spots.

    If things go for the worse during the event and the catered food is not enough, those with the least seniority will be killed and eaten first.
  • As a followup it was a wonderful flight, and a great view of the fireworks! :-) We were by no means alone up there -- the most dangerous aspect of the flight wasn't the city lights going out (they didn't), the bullets from the southside (they missed), or the fireworks themselves, but the dozens of other aircraft and helicopters flying around in the same airspace!

    (Posted Jan 03, 2000)
  • If you're from the greatest country in the world (according to the United Nations) then you'll already be prepared for the wrath we're calling Y2K. How, you may ask.. but it's quite simple. Living in the cold tundara that inhabits everything Canadian, we have already been accustomed to the cold, dry air that will imminentley cover the rest of the world due to lack of electricity (let me remind you that Detroit, less than 0.1 mile away from Canada across the river, is considered a moderate climate and not included in the Y2K Compatibility. Sorry Detroit.).

    In my Igloo I have no power, no running water, and no indoor toilets. I use the good old Canadian Maple Leaf as toilet paper, and Moose (or Caribou, depending on the migration patterns for that particular time of year) as Canadian bacon, a source of food. I'm doubting these animals will explode due to the Y2K bug, and hopefully neither will the leaves. I have a fresh supply of water underneath my house that will never run dry as long as the United States keeps flushing their toilets (which brings a new meaning to "free trade"), and as a bonus, the water also includes a good amount of fibre due to obvious reasons. The basics of shelter, food, and water are covered quite comfortably.

    But we must not forget the need of entertainment to keep Canadians happy and content with themselves. A few Canadian beauties are known to take off their parka's at the local (and local I'm meaning 60miles away) strip club - where the Molson Canadian tree beer is always cold, and the women only have long underwear on! Yeehaw! Don't forget though: No snowshoes, No service.

    And with that being said, I'm not afraid of Y2K what-so-ever.. and I have no reason to believe any other Canadian should. I'll have my basics and a little added entertainment.. and if all else fails, the Molson Canadian Beer Tree to get piss drunk and not remember what the year is anyway.

    Giving into the stereotypes of Canada,
    Matthew
    _____________________________________
  • I live about half an hour from CmdrTaco. If everything goes to hell Saturday, I'll just go see him. Saves me the trouble of shopping beforehand.
  • by Skyshadow (508) on Thursday December 30, 1999 @06:14AM (#1433053) Homepage
    I'm treating Y2K like that old Apple ][ game "The Oregon Trail".

    As I'm sure many of you have noticed, the best way to play Oregon Trail was to forgo things like food at the start of the game, stocking up on ammo instead. Then, you cut a swath through the wildlife on the way out to Oregon to feed yourself.

    I figure any Y2K crisis is pretty much the same thing. Food, spare parts, even Hemos' whiskey are all available to the person with enough ammunition to spare. So, when my apartment has turned onto the Flaming Ciditel of Death and *I* control the greater Great Lakes region (having crushed the pathetic and drunken /. resistance), remember that you heard it here first.

    ----

  • Sombody moderate this one up, funny! :o
  • Calgary, Alberta, where I live, is at 3200 ft already.
  • by Kid Zero (4866) on Thursday December 30, 1999 @06:16AM (#1433059) Homepage Journal
    a. Toilet Paper. A good case of Scott Tissue will do.
    b. Ramen and Soup.
    C. Vitamins
    d. Warm Clothes.
    e. blunt heavy object. I'll work my way up to firearms. I figure the first few will be dumb...
    f. Diapers. I have two kids.
    g. big flashlight and batteries. spare blunt object.

    *just kidding*
  • I also bought an Air Zone Micro Rapid Fire EZ Squeeze 4 Shooter on sale, and am filing down the barrels

    Two words: Bigger springs.

    If it's air powered, perhaps you should consider retro-fitting a Crossman CO2 pistol with the four barrel foam dart setup. A buddy of mine did it with some copper pipe fittings and Nerf darts. They hurt like hell!
  • I did my y2k/end-of-the-world preparedness shopping .... I went to Peets.

    I figure that without good coffee I'm toast

  • by georgeha (43752) on Thursday December 30, 1999 @06:17AM (#1433066) Homepage
    • Keyboards make excellent Bracers of Defense. Strap one to each forearm and you can ward of blows all day long, with the spring-loaded keys cushioning each impact.
    • Old 5 1/4 inch hard drives are very effective mace heads. Nothing like 5 pounds of metal and casing to diable an attacker.
    • Old subnotebooks ( I'm thinking Compaq Aero's (the 486 kind) or my Thinkpad 500) make excellent articulating armor for your knees and elbows.


    George
  • If the gun manufacturers were smart, they'd have renamed this thing the "Y2K47" a long time ago :).

    Chuck.

  • Provided you aren't smacked with a jet liner that has lost all instrumentation and is falling out of the sky in your general vicinity.

    Despite the Y2K panic, I bet you'll have a few airborne traffic hazards to avoid. ;-)
  • ... I know the necesity of always having alchohol on hand.

    While my favorite whiskey would have to be Wild Turkey (shoot one for me), I commend the Slashdot crew for carefully loading up on the ol' Mountain Dew.

    The distillary is also a grand idea... Whiskey is incredibly easy to make (any fellow brewers out there would know), and you folks being in Holland would be a quick little jaunt fo me to stock up on grandpa's tea.

    Thanks,
  • Unfortunately, I couldn't find the 2000 Babylon 5 calendar, so I settled for a cat calendar instead.
    /.
  • A similar thing happened to me at work this morning. The room I'm in has cubicles around the perimeter, and a few in the center of the room. At once, all of the computers around the perimeter shut off. The one's in the center of the room, the lights, and most everything else was unaffected. Someone managed to trip the circuit breaker with a portable space heater!!

    Eric
  • water - I already have several gallons of bottled water already since my tap water sucks

    food - still working on the leftovers from christmas. they'll probably still be in my fridge well past Y2k anyway

    woman - I realized that this might be important in a post-apocolypse world. Not that anyone could truly replace my PC, washer, and dryer should the electricity go out.

    medication - It would be irresponsible to enter the next millenium unprepared. So, I have made certain that I have any important medication I need, and enough knowledge to grow an acre or two of it if necessary.

    alcohol - guinness bass corona jack daniels kj chardonay (?sp?). Any suggestions on a good merlot?

    numb
  • by slackergod (37906) on Thursday December 30, 1999 @06:41AM (#1433099) Homepage Journal
    Of course something will happen,
    the world is doomed!

    In fact, I can prove it:
    As someone pointed out,
    '42' in binary is 101010
    January 1, 2001 is 01/01/01, or 010101.
    Now, 42 is the meaning of life, the universe,
    and everything.
    010101 is the inverse of 101010,
    so January 1, 2001 is the inverse of life.
    And what is the inverse of life?
    Death, obviously.
    Therefore, January 1, 2001 is the end of all life.

    You were warned. Y2K is a fools' delusion.
    Scully was right. I'll be in my bunker.
  • Keyboards could be used as primitive shingles for your house. They also make excellent weapons, budgeoning, strangling, whipping, its all in there. The original IBM keyboards can be used as boat anchors. If you need to scale a wall you can throw the keyboard side over the top and then climb up the cord (grapling hook style) most useful for getting into the neighbors fortress at night without being discovered.
  • by dsplat (73054)
    As usual, I got my shopping done early:

    • Y2K compliance upgrade disk [redhat.com] for Win 9x machines.
    • Beer & beer making supplies in case the water isn't drinkable.
    • Cell phone number of friend on Y2K team for local power company.
    • Leslie Fish's tape Firestorm containing such useful songs as Black Powder and Alcohol, Blue Bread Mold and The Day It Fell Apart.
  • Some how I don't think my HP DeskWriter is all that areodynamic.
  • Nah, but some of my neighbours are dumb enough that I call them the Cabbage People.

    Also, I am reassured because I have just talked to several friends who say they wouldn't eat tofu-based products, even if the world is ending, so I'll have my pick of the Tofurkeys at the supermarket...

    Dana
  • not baseball bats-- GUNS!!!!


    • Guns require ammo, bats don't.
    • Gusn require reloading, difficult to do in the mittens and gloves required in upstate New York's winter.
    • Baseball bats are stealthier, just one muted thwonk!
    • Wooden baseball bats can be used to start a fire to simmer wort and make beer.
    • Baseball bats are inherently Y2K compatible, guns have lots of moving parts, each one of which needs to be Y2K certified.
    • Baseball bats can be wrapped in a white sheet for stealthy winter use without affecting their use. It's hard to find a gun's trigger when it's wrapped in a sheet.


    George
  • My thoughts exactly.

    Thats why I headed down to the local gun show and bought me a Mossberg 590 shotgun. 8+1 rounds mean fun in the streets for me.

    Me and old Mossy are going to party like it's 1999.
  • I bought 2 big bags of hamster food.
  • Will my karma points get me anything in the new society?
  • Way back in the olden days in Australia, about 1800 AD, there was not enough money. So people used rum as a currency. This went on for about 10-20 years, until money could be printed in the new colony.

    I suggest that you immediately go out and purchase about $2000 worth of rum. It could be a better investment than Internet stocks if things go well.

    But seriously though, I'm very afraid that nothing at all is going to fail, and a lot of people are going to verrrry unhappy!

  • Me too. Just me and my big-assed thermos of coffee. All night.

    uck.
    Happy New year, indeed.

    -nme!
  • If you can't hit a deer in the shoulder at 50 yards with a 9mm semiauto, you shouldn't own one.
    -russ
    p.s. deer have big shoulders.
  • 101010
    shr A, 1
    010101

    From this we can see that there will in fact be a political shift to the right.

    Nooooo! Bush for president.
    Ok, you were right, it is the apocalypse.
  • Some animals are people.

    Most animals are very good at making themselves scarce when confronted with people. People have not developed that reflex. Therefore people are easier to hunt than most other animals. (Particularly in crowded urban environments.)

    So this is not a case of has/does not have edible resources. It is a case of being edible resources!

    HTH,
    Ben
  • by ch-chuck (9622) on Thursday December 30, 1999 @06:51AM (#1433149) Homepage
    d'ja notice that about every 'y2k plan' involves "going out and buying stuff" - no matter what happens, grocers and retails are cleaning up this season.

    Cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching!

    Boojum
    Backing up stuff like there's no tomorrow.
  • by VChris (3817)
    Y2K is at our feet

    A world apocolypse that we reap

    As I stand to watch the show

    A bottle of brandy - Down It Goes!


  • I worked for best buy on 9/9/99, and the main frames that the registers transmit all thier data to crashed. They couldn't ring up anything for the first half of the day. That was a lot of money lost.
    • If the Doctor Who Missing Episodes aren't Y2K compliant, does that mean they'll be found?
    • Mead is better than beer, IMHO. But, then, I'm English and prefer Real Ales, too.
    • It's possible to distill using an ice-pack, a plate, a collander, a small bowl, and a saucepan. However, this should not be done unless it is for educational purposes in a Chemistry class.
    • Distilled water is probably the single-most useful item you can get. Snow has a LOT of toxins from air pollution, and river water will likely become contaminated when the factories start exploding.
    • I hope Slashdot is Y2K-compliant - I'd hate to loose all that karma.
    • To build a radio capable of reception, you need a safety pin, a metal straight-edge razor-blade, an ear-phone and some wire. The pin and the razor-blade serve the same purpose as a tuning crystal. It'll be good enough to pick up short-wave radio within a State or two, which isn't bad for a radio made up of junk. (Source: Wireless World, 1944, US military receiver, used by POWs and in situations where conventional receivers would not be safe or possible.)
    • So far, the only people seriously affected by the Y2K bug are Microsoft (SecurityFocus) and some British banks (BBC). Somehow, if they're going to be the only casualties, I suspect nobody is going to cry too much over the choice.
    • I recently destructively tested a packet of M&M's for Y2K compliance. They failed the test, but I found that patching with a Penguin Mint fixes the problem.
    • Penguin Mints seem to fix most Y2K bugs found in edible produce. I am conducting further tests on the ceiling.
    • If civilisation collapses, and all is laid to waste, the Wombles will make their bid for power. Sneaking out of their lair, in Wimbledon Common, and armed with semi-automatic tidy-bags, they will clean up England once and for all. You have been warned!

No skis take rocks like rental skis!

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