Ballmer Speaks on His Solo Act

Ballmer Speaks on His Solo Act 196

Posted by CmdrTaco on Friday July 28, 2006 @10:16AM from the but-does-he-do-the-monkey-dance dept.

Carl Bialik from WSJ writes "In his first one-on-one interview since Bill Gates's retirement announcement, Steve Ballmer tells the Wall Street Journal he is bullish on Microsoft's investments in online services, and he dismisses as 'random malarkey' the idea that Microsoft is having trouble hiring and keeping the kind of brilliant employees that have always been the company's competitive weapon. Here's Ballmer on Gates's departure: 'As co-leaders of the business, I could allow Bill to be the full-time champion of innovation. And [now] with me really being the guy who's here every day running the place, I must be the champion of innovation.' And on competing with Google: 'We're going to compete. We're going to be in the online business. We are going to have a core around online. We're going to be excellent. That, I would tell people, to count on...'"

Ballmer Speaks on His Solo Act

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"We're going to be excellent..." (Score:5, Funny)

by Junior J. Junior III ( 192702 ) writes: on Friday July 28, 2006 @10:18AM (#15798426) Homepage

Apparently this is as close to admission that they're not presently excellent as we can hope for.

How very disappointing! (Score:5, Funny)

by jkrise ( 535370 ) writes: on Friday July 28, 2006 @10:18AM (#15798428) Journal

I thought he spoke about His Solo Monkey Dance Act!

Spelling error (Score:5, Funny)

by Rik Sweeney ( 471717 ) writes: on Friday July 28, 2006 @10:20AM (#15798442) Homepage

I must be the champion of innovation

Isn't that spelt

I must wait for someone to do something clever and then rip it off

"The Lone Ballmer" - Tour 2006 (Score:5, Funny)

by sharkey ( 16670 ) writes: on Friday July 28, 2006 @10:20AM (#15798451)

The Lone Ballmer toure plans to play 30 venues in 90 days, with 3 nights at each. It will feature such classics as "Developers, Devolpers" along with new hits such as "I'm Gonna Fucking Kill $FOO", a scale model of Stonehenge built from office chairs and Ballmer himself dressed in Andre the Giant's classic leotard.

yeeeeaaaaaaarrrrggghhhh (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday July 28, 2006 @10:21AM (#15798460)

We're going to compete. We're going to be in the online business. We are going to have a core around online. We're going to be excellent.

(howard dean voice) YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHH

Re:How very disappointing! (Score:2, Funny)

by alexandreracine ( 859693 ) writes: <alexandreracine@gmail.com> on Friday July 28, 2006 @10:28AM (#15798515) Homepage Journal

I thought he would speak about his chairs collection...

Re:champion of innovation (Score:2, Funny)

by The Loverat ( 894076 ) writes: on Friday July 28, 2006 @10:30AM (#15798523)

You could say that he's a Deity of Enterprise, so to speak. That makes him Steve BullmerDE, which is about right if you excuse my French... ;) (Actually Freudian Lips) x

Just 1 ? on his Solo act... (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday July 28, 2006 @10:31AM (#15798532)

Does he shoot Greedo first?

Random Malarkey (Score:2, Funny)

by jrumney ( 197329 ) writes: on Friday July 28, 2006 @10:34AM (#15798562)

he dismisses as 'random malarkey' the idea that Microsoft is having trouble hiring and keeping the kind of brilliant employees that have always been the company's competitive weapon.

"That's random malarkey! Who needs brilliant employees when we have chairs as our new competitive weapon.", Ballmer responded.

The Microsoft icon needs replacing (Score:1, Funny)

by Centurix ( 249778 ) writes: <centurix@gmail.cBLUEom minus berry> on Friday July 28, 2006 @10:35AM (#15798570) Homepage

With a picture of a chair.

"Random malarky"? (Score:5, Funny)

by The_REAL_DZA ( 731082 ) writes: on Friday July 28, 2006 @10:36AM (#15798575)

Yeah, I think we can all agree that orderly, predictable malarky is much preferable.

Re:Outdated Icon? (Score:3, Funny)

by mgblst ( 80109 ) writes: on Friday July 28, 2006 @10:42AM (#15798630) Homepage

Just like Ronald Reagan and George Bush (Jnr), Steve Ballmer is only a pupper. Its still Bill in charge, all the way down.

If we did replace Bill (just so they don't know that we know), maybe it would be Steve in a leotard, sitting on a chair ah la Auguste Rodin famous statue.

Ballmer sums up why MicroSoft is in decline... (Score:5, Funny)

by aschoeff ( 864154 ) writes: on Friday July 28, 2006 @10:43AM (#15798637)

'And [now] with me really being the guy who's here every day running the place, I must be the champion of innovation.'

QED

I have four words for you... (Score:2, Funny)

by Reverend528 ( 585549 ) writes: on Friday July 28, 2006 @10:45AM (#15798647) Homepage

Developers Developers Developers Developers!

My irony meter exploded (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday July 28, 2006 @10:48AM (#15798671)

Bill Gates, champion of innovation? And Microsoft's competitive advantage is its brilliant employees? (Not to knock their employees, but somehow I don't think that's their real competitive, or shall we say, anti-competitive advantage.)

Re:How very disappointing! (Score:5, Funny)

by Alex P Keaton in da ( 882660 ) writes: on Friday July 28, 2006 @10:50AM (#15798687) Homepage

In all seriousness, Slashdot has matured. When I saw a headline about a "solo act" I was fairly sure that I would be greeted by a multitude of masturb*tion jokes.

Re:Ballmer sums up why MicroSoft is in decline... (Score:2, Funny)

by CopaceticOpus ( 965603 ) writes: on Friday July 28, 2006 @12:20PM (#15799537)

And [now] with me really being the guy who's here every day running the place, I must be the champion of innovation.'

Seriously. When I read this, I swore I felt a great disturbance, as if millions of stockholders suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

Re:Hey... (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday July 28, 2006 @12:26PM (#15799591)

If he likes and wants developers so much, why doesn't he reimplement Windows in Java?

Java is by far the most used language this day and it is one of the most mature and with the biggest class library...

Why doesn't Ballmer hire Java developers?

Oh, wait...

So... (Score:2, Funny)

by eno2001 ( 527078 ) writes: on Friday July 28, 2006 @02:13PM (#15800587) Homepage Journal

...the business geek [imdb.com] retired and left the company in the hands of the frat house human mascot [imdb.com]? ;P

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Ballmer Speaks on His Solo Act 196

Ballmer Speaks on His Solo Act More Login

Ballmer Speaks on His Solo Act

"We're going to be excellent..." (Score:5, Funny)

How very disappointing! (Score:5, Funny)

Spelling error (Score:5, Funny)

"The Lone Ballmer" - Tour 2006 (Score:5, Funny)

yeeeeaaaaaaarrrrggghhhh (Score:5, Funny)

Re:How very disappointing! (Score:2, Funny)

Re:champion of innovation (Score:2, Funny)

Just 1 ? on his Solo act... (Score:1, Funny)

Random Malarkey (Score:2, Funny)

The Microsoft icon needs replacing (Score:1, Funny)

"Random malarky"? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Outdated Icon? (Score:3, Funny)

Ballmer sums up why MicroSoft is in decline... (Score:5, Funny)

I have four words for you... (Score:2, Funny)

My irony meter exploded (Score:1, Funny)

Re:How very disappointing! (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Ballmer sums up why MicroSoft is in decline... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Hey... (Score:1, Funny)

So... (Score:2, Funny)

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