Through The Steve Ballmer Looking Glass

Class Act Dynamo writes "I was browsing for a video clip I saw the other day, and I came across this clip from 15 years ago of Steve Ballmer pitching windows 1.0 in a television commercial. All I can say is WOW. Apparently, there was a big demand for integrating "LOTUS 1-2-3 with Miami Vice." You'll understand when you see the clip." Let it not be said that Microsoft has no sense of humor.

And now for a limited time offer!

[Anonymous Coward]

Billy G will personally steal your idea AND take over your company!

Funny?

[Saxton]

Let it not be said that Microsoft has no sense of humor.

But that's not funny! :-)

-Aaron

Old

[Anonymous Coward]

I saw this, like, 15 years ago.

1.0?

[StevenHenderson]

Steve Ballmer pitching windows 1.0 in a television commercial

Judging from the way my XP machine behaves, they still have yet to reach that 1.0 milestone... :)

Thank god for wireless

[joel8x]

I clicked on that wile browsing from my throne (laptops with wireless connections = the new newspaper folded under the arm) and essentially saved myself from pissing all over myself.

Microsoft has always had a sense of humor...

[CliffH]

... look at their product linueup. :)

How much do you think its worth?

[racerxroot]

The crazy talking head on the television asked me several times how much i thought it was worth. I kept saying "nothing" but he just kept talking. Crazy man. im scared.

All this for...

[Faust7]

$99... same price as XP Home Edition I believe.

Which also still has Reversi.

Ahhhh

[GarbanzoBean]

Ctrl-Alt-Del
Ctrl-Alt-Del
Ctrl-Alt-Del

Please make it go away. Blue screen of death anything pleeeeeeze.

Re:1.0?

[ScytheBlade1]

Funny thing about your comment. Please, review with me.

A) This is slashdot, aka linuxfest.
B) You just suggested that they have yet to hit their 1.0 milestone
Then..
C) You say, and I quote, "from the way my XP machine"

*blink*

So. Is there any reason that you're using the pre-1.0 milestone? ;)

Re:Where's the audio?

[jfengel]

And I cannot even begin to explain how much happier you are for that fact.

Re:Funny?

[fm6]

Doesn't count. Making bad jokes is not any sign of a sense of humor. Rather the opposite. Standard Buffy reference:

Anya : OK. A man walks in to the office of a doctor. He's wearing on his head, um, oh wait, there's a duck, is that right?

Guy From Audience: You suck!
Anya : Quiet, you'll miss the humorous conclusion.

Re:Where's the audio?

[name_already_taken]

Works great in Windows Media Player. I guess that's what you get for trying to save $99.

My Eyes!

[StarWreck]

You fiends! After watching Balmer in this horrible commercial I was forced to push a 30 watt soldering iron through each of my corneas. I will never see again thanks to this slashdot article!!!

Well that was interesting

[digitalgimpus]

It's good to see Microsoft did at least one appearance on TV without Windows Crashing.

Oh man!

[ftgow]

If that bald bastard wasn't so personable, Microsoft wouldn't have had such a monopoly!

Re:All this for...

[StarWreck]

Actually WindowsXP only comes with "internet reversi" which only allows you to play multi-player. So no single player and no play at all without an internet connection.

Re:1.0?

[Kenshin]

Judging from the way my XP machine works, maybe you need to remember that CDs go in the drive SHINY side down.

Re:Thank god for wireless

[csguy314]

Yeah. phew... only pissed all over the laptop... that was close.

Re:Except in Nebraska?

[Anonymous Coward]

You're right. He's probably using an auto-spell check, as even a quick perusal would have picked up the mistake.....except in Nebraska!

ahhh...let the fun begin.

Re:Yes. but...

[Crash24]

Only old Koreans use Windows 1.0

Except in Nebraska.

still the same

[Anonymous Coward]

Steve Ballmer is still the same cheezy salesman. has not changed a bit, except he lost his hair...

Re:But WAIT there's MORE!

[flewp]

Weird that I saw this here on Slashdot today. I was just looking at it earlier today, when I was cleaning up some of my files, and chuckling to myself about it.

The best part is when he mentions that it has a clock.

Re:It's a FAKE

[razmaspaz]

Since you live in nebraska you got the crappy version of windows. If you had lived anywhere else you would know that 1-2-3 was bundled. Guess you really missed out on the deal.

THANK YOU HERCULE POIROT

[Anonymous Coward]

You have solved the case!

Re:I'm slightly untrusting.

[Ohreally_factor]

What's even worse is that this will get reposted sometime this next week. It'll go right inbetween the third repostings of "Sony Admits Error" and "Deep Inside the Cell Architecture".

Someone start a goddamn poll on which editors need to be fired.

What, so we can complain about the lack of a Cowboy Neil option?

Re:1.0?

[Anonymous Coward]

D) ???
E) Profit

Re:Thank god for wireless

[strredwolf]

I take it you were recreating the MIT Athena Bathroom Cluster? [mit.edu]

Re:My Eyes!

[Corbie]

And somehow, even without the use of your eyes, you made less spelling and grammar mistakes than the average slashdotter.

Re:Frankly ...

[homeobocks]

maybe they can find a way to wedge some security into Windows.

...except in Nebraska.

Get ready for the new Slashdot Section.

[Anonymous Coward]

I saw this, like, 15 years ago.

That's because /. is trying to ease everyone into their new section: Slashdot Retro.

It's super cool - it has 15 year old news, coverage of IBM PC jr. and all the dupes you could ever want... from more than a decade ago!

Think of it as Easy Listening for the blog generation - we aren't getting any younger you know.

Re:Newsworthy?

[Anonymous Coward]

Two articles doesn't make a trend. It's two different editors too, so they probably each found a joke that was exceptionally funny to them. I found both things funny, but I laugh at lots of stuff.

It's better than yet another TCO shootout or some other crap that purports to be reasonable.

Re:This wasn't a TV commercial

[jd]

No, they were made in case the DoD or FBI needed to torture geeks.

Re:Well that was interesting

[STrinity]

It's good to see Microsoft did at least one appearance on TV without Windows Crashing.

That's only because Windows 1.0 was incapable of displaying a blue screen.

Re:Newsworthy?

[Anonymous Coward]

Would you have preferred a story about a Bill Gates spread in Man Meat Magazine?

Re:O/T - Reply to sig

[Anonymous Coward]

Poorly translated and transliterated from Arabic, it's "All your base are belong to us."

Re:This is old news ...

[MonkeyBoy]

But I don't want to sell used cars.

Re:Thank god for wireless

[Ohreally_factor]

Before you flush. . . .Imagine a Beowulf Clusterr of those.

Let me be the first to say...

[fireman sam]

... That was the fscking funniest thing I have ever seen.

The scary thing is that there are ads of the same quality on late night television that are flogging off refurbished PC's with "Pentium 2 power" for only $599. And they even include Windows 95 and a modem. (So you too can be part of a bot net).

I recently picked up 5 Pentium 2 computers headed for the dump. I am thinking on upgrading my Pentium 166 gateway and servers. If anyone wants one I'll sell it for only $598.

Re:Microsoft has always had a sense of humor...

[glenebob]

Yeah... And the way they laugh every day during the commute to the bank...

Re:What does a "British accent" sound like?

[loadquo]

The same language? Have a listen to a glaswegian [clara.net], and see what you think then.

Re:It all fits...

[Curtman]

This is the second time Slashdot has fallen for an anti-Microsoft joke from a submitter

Uh huh, and Monkey Boy [ntk.net] was just a bad dream too right?

Re:1.0?

[TheRaven64]

My Windows 2000 CD has a hologram on the top surface, which is considerably more shiny than the data surface, and hence goes into the drive shiny side up. Trust Microsoft to make things more confusing than they need to...

Re:It all fits...

[theLastPossibleName]

it is safe for work

My company's website filter denied access to the link to the wmv file. It put it in the "violence" category. It saves me from Steve Ballmer but it fails to save me from goatse??? Go figure...

Re:1.0?

[apt142]

Not if it's been pira^h^h^h^h. No, you are completely right.

Re:Thank god for wireless

[fritter]

Please tell me you did this at home. Were I at work, and I walked past a men's room and heard Steve Ballmer screaming wildly and another guy giggling uncontrollably, I'd quit that day.