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Journal Surak's Journal: Weekly Recap(tm): Back with a vengeance! 28

Journal by Surak

Weekly Recap(tm): Because enquiring geeks wanna know!

Surak disappeared last week, apparently abducted by aliens from outer space. Or Al Qaeda terrorists. Or it could be that he's been sick with gall bladder disease. But Weekly Recap is not buying it. We're going for the Al Qaeda terrorists from Alpha Centauri theory.

FortKnox is the next Slashdot user to abducted by said Al Qaeda terrorists from Alpha Centauri. After meeting SlashChick in the mall on August 12th, he hasn't been heard from since.

SlashChick, meanwhile, after being abducted by the alien terrorists, has been replaced with a mindless suit imposter. The imposter was heard using droid-phrases like "initial capital," "cash-flow statement," "secure additional capital," and "profitable." The search for the real SlashChick continues, and has begun with her mysterious disapparence along with FortKnox at mall near their homes. Anyone who has seen FortKnox or the real SlashChick is asked to call the milk carton hotline at 1-800-MISSING or your local FBI office.

Bethanie, deprived of the company of Surak, stating, among other things, "WHERE'S THE WEEKLY RECAP(TM)!?!" bemoaning "This is kinda like an alcoholic running out of liquor on a Sunday night ('round these parts) and getting desperate enough to break out the NyQuil," actually went back to performing her wifely duty. Meanwhile, bethanie's parents were over her place getting nude in front of her and her preschool-age child. Finally, the lights went out in Georgia. To quote bethanie "It was a hardship, I must admit. But we struggled through our hour of darkness (for indeed, it was about sixty minutes that we were without power) with the tenacity and strength of character passed down to us from our steely Appalachian forbears." Bethanie, honey, you don't know the MEANING of the word hardship. ;)

While LadyGuardian was battling an unidentifiable stench, probably emanating from the Royal Candian Mounted Police, the power went out. Evidentally, Toronto got their power going well before Detroit did, because Surak didn't have power until the next day. Damn those Canadians all to hell anyway!. All they do is go on road trips and get sloshed, just like LadyGuardian.

TechnoLust, who has been seeing multiple chicks lately, called hottub girl a whore and then slept with her! Meanwhile, TechnoLust has been stalking CR, the girl he met at church, while asking Slashdot users for their blessing in doing so. Bethanie, who is apparently into stalkers, was all over that, totally encouraging him to go for it!

Xerithane has apparently contracted multiple personality disorder, since he now thinks that he's Jenny from the Bronx. Obviously his latest journal entries are a desparate cry for help.

Rumours abound: sulli is actually Fox News personality Bill O'Reilly. Weekly Recap(tm): Gossip that's fair and balanced.

On a more serious note,SolemnDragon writes about her experiences with karma. She assures us that karma has nothing to do with her recent episodes involving cow flinging, poor dating etiquette, blood money, or the death of Gregory Hines. It is unknown if Hines' death had anything to do with the blood money, dating etiquette or cow flinging.

Some Woman is running for governor of California. However, it is important to note that, unlike Arnold Schwarzenegger, she is not for sale in North America.

intermodal was arrested today on charges of violating the USA Patriot Act. Apparently, intermodal is advocating that the states overthrow the federal government. No word yet on when intermodal's trial is set to begin.

How to make it into Weekly Recap(tm)!

Some of you were begging to make into Weekly Recap(tm). For those of you who didn't make it, and want to make it in, some tips:

  • Keep your journal up-to-date. Stuff older than about a week generally won't make it into Weekly Recap(tm) (hence the name WEEKLY recap), unless it is being used as background for more recent material.
  • Write interesting stuff about your life. The latest bugs in program X, while newsworthy, don't make interesting gossip.
  • Get my attention. Good headlines grab my attention.
  • Post in the Weekly Recap(tm) discussions if you aren't on my friends list. This will get me to notice your journals if you aren't on my friends list for some reason. I'm a little bad about keeping it up-to-date, so keep posting until I notice! :)
  • If you can't be interesting, be funny. Unlike on the rest of Slashdot, this WILL earn you karma points! ;)
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Weekly Recap(tm): Back with a vengeance! More

Weekly Recap(tm): Back with a vengeance!

Comments Filter:
  • Post in the Weekly Recap(tm) discussions if you aren't on my friends list. This will get me to notice your journals if you aren't on my friends list for some reason. I'm a little bad about keeping it up-to-date, so keep posting until I notice! :) This will also let you advertise your own journal entry [slashdot.org] that you want people to post in.

    Surak has ~255 friends, so this prime ad space folks.

    So if you care about James Bond movies, tell me what you think of my rankings [slashdot.org] please.

    Surak just say so and I won't do th
    • Surak has ~255 friends, so this prime ad space folks.

      Wow....when did I get that many? Do that many people care about what I have to say? Why?

      • Wow....when did I get that many? Do that many people care about what I have to say? Why?

        Well, I personally find it interesting, you know, as a time-killer. I'm actually waging a mass-genocide against time, and your journal is some great ammunition.

        Keep up the good work, soldier! :)
      • Wow....when did I get that many? Do that many people care about what I have to say? Why?

        You know, I didn't care before... but I think something happened like a month ago. Involving shining lights in the sky on a deserted road, something about Jihad, and a strange scar that appeared the next day on the back on my neck. Anyhow, after that, your journals were like *wow*, this guy is brilliant! I'm coming back as often as I can!

        Oh, and the voice in my head says you're wrong about your conspiracy theories. Do
      • Wow....when did I get that many? Do that many people care about what I have to say? Why?

        Blame bethanie in my case :) I had seen your posts here and there and even a JE or two, but with her constant questioning your fate I read more stuff of yours and thought "Ok, I've got to find out when this guy comes back and get that little message dealy bob so I can read more".

  • my only motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is to go out and do something worthy of being mentioned in the Weekly Recap. ;-)

    Your new sig should be "Surak. Motivating people to be interesting since 2003." :-)

    • Hmmm... that's funny... it's one of my main reasons for wanting to stay IN bed!

      (I'm on a ROLL tonight, folks!!)

      ....Bethanie....
      • Hmmm... that's funny... it's one of my main reasons for wanting to stay IN bed!

        Who needs to stay in bed when you have the children's book section at Barnes and Noble? ;)

    • Reliable sources [slashdot.org] indicate that you have good reason to stay in bed, multiple good reasons in fact.
    • (Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that you posted this on Monday, but I just got to Surak's Journal.)

      I think getting the "nice" girls number or email and contacting her is definitely worthy of the Weekly Recap.

      Or,

      when you finally convince LG to make the trip across the border, NOW that is worthy of any weekly recap!
      • No, no, no. You have to twist the facts around. It's STALKING the nice girl, and LG went on a wild crime bender south of the border. Or something like that. You must take the story and twist the facts so that they become more interesting. Usually involving misquotes, taking things out of context, exaggerating, or outright lying. This is American tabloid journalism at its finest here. :)
  • Bethanie, honey, you don't know the MEANING of the word hardship. ;)

    I bet you could show me, though, couldn't you?

    ....B....
  • That you want more people to suck up to you.

    Hmm. /me looks at Bethanie. Oh wait.

    /me hides from Bethanie.

    If I kept my journal up to date, I might even have a chance of making the weekly update. Probably. Or at least I'll keep on telling myself that.

    Hmm, I should've gone to sleep about five hours ago.

    In short, I apologize for this post, I'm exhausted and know not what I do or say.

    • That you want more people to suck up to you.

      No. The "How to make it into Weekly Recap(tm)" section was specifically targetted at individuals who whined last week that they didn't make it in yet didn't do the basics like keeping their journal up-to-date. I'm not mentioning any names. If I missed you and you met all the requirements it's cause I'm scatterbrained. ;)
  • Keep your journal up-to-date. Check!

    Write interesting stuff about your life. What, apart from my ceaseless quest to bring my loyal reader the News That Matters [slashdot.org]?

    Get my attention. ME! ME! NOTICE ME!

    Post in the Weekly Recap(tm) discussions if you aren't on my friends list. Ya mean, like this? :-)

    If you can't be interesting, be funny. Well, I've had at least one report of a beverage-through-nose incident caused by my Journal, so I think that base is covered...

    MT.
  • this is like waking up in the and realizing you have 2 more hours of sleep.

    Nicely done, Surak.

    NOW WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T I MAKE WEEKLY RECAP?

    Uh, heh. Pardon me. I feel a little verklempt. /humor
    • NOW WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T I MAKE WEEKLY RECAP?

      Remember rule #1 from issue #1: I am completely scatterbrained and can't keep anything straight. That and I lost count as to how many beers I had last night... ;)

      • heh, no worries. I think my humor is being impaired by the richard Noggins I am dealing with at work.

        It's angry in them thar hills!

        Good to have you back bro.
  • *grin* i was bad. And you missed it.
  • When I returned, I was surprised to find that everything in my house was stolen and replaced with an exact replica. I said to my wife, "Can you believe this? Everything was been stolen and replaced with an exact replica!" She said, "Do I know you?"

    Apologies to Stephen Wright (for hacking up his great joke).
  • Well, it was the last post when I made it. Anyway, I must admit I'm new to the weekly recap having seen it mentioned here and there within the FK clique. I friended you to keep an eye on this thing you do so thus far I guess I'd say "keep on doing what you do."
  • ..so this pagan dies and wanders happily into the Summerlands, where lo and behold, there's pan, the god he chose to worship, goat legs and all.

    "Hey!" yells our Happy Pagan. "Aren't you Pan?"
    "Sure am!" replies Pan, dancing a bit of a jig on the greensward. "C'mon, i'll show y'around!"

    And off they go. They meet up with our Happy Pagan's relatives, gone on before, and some friends, and pets, and see how some are doing in the next life, and have a grand time of it. And all of a sudden, the sky opens up a

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