80 Proof Quickies

Lets start this off with some homework: we were nominated for a 2000 Webby in Community. Please go vote for us (requires annoying login, but please do it anyway! I want a crappy little trophy!) Now with the 'biz outta the way, brainsik pointed us to the Brainshaker: a headmounted subwoofer that looks like it would make Quake a bit to real. Plastik noted a web filter guaranteed to offend the conservative and humorless. But it makes reading Slashdot damn entertaining. And if you're interesting in violating most religions, vkulkarn found an "Escort" who apparently reads Slashdot (will she go out with CowboyNeal?) Speaking of religion, Zippy noted that I am apparently a prophet in the Church of The Enlightenment , along with Jay Stile of Stileproject . Illiad, from Userfriendly.org is a bard. webword sent us CalculusGirls.com which combines 2 of the many things I don't understand. Andy Lester noted that Brunching Shuttlecocks has a book on "Fuzzy Logic Functions", in the style of O'Reilly. yek401 noted that his english professor builds barbie doll cyborgs: god bless tenure ;) Trenchcoat Steve warned us about Moon Land Registry which claims to be selling land on the moon for $10/acre: you even get a deed and mineral rights... and it might be legal! Gravey noted that their are two new Reboot movies going into production. For you conspiracy theorists, backtick noted that everyone's favorite software monopoly might be getting into the furniture biz along with Lazyboy. SgtPepper pointed us to RFC 2795 which "describes a protocol suite which supports an infinite number of monkeys that sit at an infinite number of typewriters" ucsimon noted that LegoLand in California just gota liquor license. Mind you after a few shots of vodka, finding a 2x2 blue block takes a lot longer. Let's wrap up with jyuter's note that Comedy Central has vid clips of the south park kids doing Python's parrot sketch in Quicktime or Real.

Owning the Moon

Okay, I went to the site, I read the legal page, and it answers NONE of the real questions. So the Moon Treaty says nothing about people or corporations owning extra-terrestrial real-estate, it only says that governments can't. What I want to know is how did this wack company come to own the moon? If they don't hold title, what are they doing selling it to us? If they do hold title to parts of the moon, can't we just do the same thing and claim parts of the moon without sending them money? The problem here is that property laws are defined by governments and no government has authority on the moon, nor can they according to treaty. So anyone can make any kind of claim they want, but it's meaningless because there is no property law on the moon. So when you go, bring your guns to keep the squatters off.

REJECTED! (was Re:Wanna do math?)

Let's subtract our clothes, divide our legs, and multiply!

No thanks, multiplying with zeroes isn't even novel.

Wanna see my unit vector?

Want me to partition it?

Discrete Math Girls

Calculus girls? I'll hold out for the Discrete Math or Abstract Algebra Girls.

Wanna do math?

Let's subtract our clothes, divide our legs, and multiply!

Of course, that's arithmetic, not calculus.

Wanna see my unit vector?

--
grappler

#1 redux

1a. If you're Binomial, can I watch?

Is it coincidence that a lot of their pictures are 1024x768? Not that I'm looking or anything :)
PS Elena is superhot.

Pope

Re:AskJesus proxy!

Lotta good playboy.com does when the Ask Jesus proxy replaces the pics with ones of Jesus =)

For Calculus Girls to be really useful...

...They need to sort them by region!
I mean, really, how can I use this site to find myself some deep derivative action, eh? Sure, there's always online-romances, but at the end of the day one needs a girl in your own time zone to get all integral with. There's no love like logarithmic love.

Re:That was quick

Well, for those who were curious, here's an article about her in Slate, Micros~1 political magazine:

Hookers.com [msn.com]

Hah! Bet they wouldn't have written about her if they'd known she reads Slashdot!!!

She started out charging $4,500 a day, with a two-day minimum, but the response was so good that she has since given herself a raise to $5,800 a day, still with a two-day minimum.

There sure are a lot of desperate rich guys out there....

Re:What exactly is the "parrot sketch"?

In the event that you were actually serious: http://www.montypython.net/scripts/petshop.php3

Re:recursive slashdot effect

Mathematically? Yes. Realistically? No. Here's why:

Ok, 1/n people will click the link to go the other site. Assuming it's not slashdotted (this is the first problem), then 1/n people at that site will click the slashdot link, and come here! As this goes on for a while and n approaches infinite, the series of the sume from 1 to infinity of (1/n) diverges, going off to infinity. An infinite amount of hits would obviously cause some supreme slashdotting :)

However, the thing is that the other site is going to be slashdotted already, so no one can come back to slashdot, AND the people who go to that site from slashdot probably won't come back to slashdot in such a manner, seeing that they don't need to for the time being, and they won't cause the recursion. Also, the other sites do not cause such web chaos as slashdot does. And we don't have an infinite amount of n's, but we're getting there!

What do you think? And i dunno, what's worse than infinite recursion? Kernel panic? :P

Mike Roberto ([e-mail] [mailto]) - AOL IM: MicroBerto

Calculus Girls.. ha!

In the dictionary (one of them at least)... calculus is defined as not only math, but any problem that is ornery and obtuse, and generally difficult.

And as my girlfriend would readily agree, the two go perfect together.

--jay

britney spears.

askjesus.org translates britney spears to the virgin mary.. now it's confirm.. and i'm in love.

(britney spears) == (the virgin mary);

woo.

paul

Re:Fuzzy Logic'ed my ass off

You weren't the only one. But I'm wondering if I was the only one to feel the need to actually code all of those functions.

// One of the smaller ones
void reconsider (int argc, char* argv[])
while(argv[0])
if(argv[argc])
argc--;

Re:I'm no sexist but...

Not only are 4 out of 5 staff men, but the site is basically still promoting the looks of these girls who are good at math, enforcing the stereotypical viewpoint that all men care about is how a woman looks. This may be true for some men, and this is certainly true for things like porn, but in real life, I want a woman who can challenge me, and keep me guessing, who is at, above, or near my level of intelligence, and not necessarily interested in the same things.

Yeah, you're right, it's promoting a stereotype: the smart attractive teenage girl. Which is, IMO, progress compared to the steretype of the smart, bookish teenage girl. Knowing the way that my brain operated when I was a kid, if beauty mattered to me a great deal, and I didn't see anyone who was smart and beautiful, I'd probably choose beautiful over smart. Dumb? You bet. But then again, logic doesn't come naturally to humans; it has to be trained into us.

Yeah, I personally prefer someone with brains over someone with beauty; and someone who's overweight with a free spirit and brains is sexier than a supermodel with neither. But I could give a sh** how this site reflects on ME. I worry more that we may be subtly pissing away half of our pool of talent with messages like "girls can't do math."

jesus-ified slashdort humor

gotta love these sections (dunno if they are the same every time)....

Sections
4/8
apache
4/10 (11)
askslashdot
1/27
awards
4/8
gospels <--aka tacohell
4/10 (2)
bsd
4/9
features
4/10
interviews
4/5
radio
4/9
blasphemy <-- aka M$
4/10 (3)
yro


-mark

Calculusgirls Poll

This is just crying out for a poll!

My Favourite Calculus Girl is:
- Alexis
- Cassie
- Elena
etc...

:)

Hey, I gave up on colors...

Mind you after a few shots of vodka, finding a 2x2 blue block takes a lot longer.

Is there ever a blue Lego when you need it? I mean, there's red and black and white and yellow and you can never forget about those ugly green ones, but there's never blue when you need it. Same goes for the red or black or white or yellow or the ugly green ones when you need those too. And I won't even go into how Mr. Murphy (most famous for his laws) seems to hide all the 2x2 bricks when you need them.

And what about Lego Mindstorm and all of the mechanical pieces. Damn! And just when you find all the right gears you need, you find that your batteries are dead on your motor or that your system has a resource conflict and you can't comunicate with your creation.

Personally, I liked Lego so much more when it didn't require a free IRQ on my computer system...

kwsNI

BOTTOM 10 pickup lines at Calculusgirls.com

With apologies to all the calculus girls, who are, indeed, gorgeous....

1. Hey beautiful -- what's your sine?
2. So baby, are you into groups that commute?
3. Wanna see my root function?
4. I know you can integrate, but do you want to multiply?
5. How'd you like to....take my measure?
6. You know about predator-prey systems right? Wanna be the predator to my prey?
7. Oh wow, you are SO absolutely continuous.
8. How'd you like to come home and study my module?
9. Oh wow, you make me approximate the Dirac delta function in ways you couldn't imagine!
10. They say love is complex, but I wanna keep it real. Let's do away with the imaginary stuff and project, shall we?

Church of the Geeks, anyone?

Concerning the Church of the Enlightened...someone should start the Church of the Geeks. Maybe something like:

The 10 Commandments

1. Thou shalt immolate thyself to destroy Evil's software patents
2. Thou shalt not covet DVD's unless thou supports DeCSS
3. Thou shalt read Slashdot every hour
4. Thou shalt homeschool thy children using UserFriendly and thy Linux box
5. Thou shalt covet no God but Linus Torvalds
6. Thou shalt make a pilgrimage to the Geek Compound
7. Thou shalt code all night and consume thy Coffee
8. Thou shalt not use Windows unless within VMWare
9. Thou shalt not covet Evil Software Corporations
10. Thou shalt not support the US Government

Or maybe not...but this kind of thing would be a good extension to AskJesus

On the other hand, alcohol at LegoLand worries me. Someone could easily circumvent those policies to the point where they can get themselves intoxicated. Or the alcohol could prove to be a bad influence on children.

--
Vote for mind21_98 this November!

top 10 pickup lines on calculusgirls.com

10. Hey. Can I take your derivative?

9. What's your integral?

8. That proof would look great next to my bed in the morning.

7. My vector is a scalar multiple.

6. If you say no, I'll ask again - I'm a detrminant.

5. Ever tried the Implicit Function Theorem on a water bed?

4. Nice equipotential surfaces and curves...

3. Want to see the geometric properties of my gradient vector?

2. What's your center of convergence?

1. I'm Binomial.

AskJesus translation table

I'd really love to be able to take a gander at whatever translation table Ask Jesus uses. By trying it out on my homepage I noticed the following interesting substitutions.

Web -> Tower of babel

Clubs -> Secret Houses of worship

data -> inscrutable numbers

college -> hell on earth

school -> purgatory

business -> slave-trade

I'm no sexist but...

This calculusgirls site is total bullshit. Not only are 4 out of 5 staff men, but the site is basically still promoting the looks of these girls who are good at math, enforcing the stereotypical viewpoint that all men care about is how a woman looks. This may be true for some men, and this is certainly true for things like porn, but in real life, I want a woman who can challenge me, and keep me guessing, who is at, above, or near my level of intelligence, and not necessarily interested in the same things. This site claims that it is promoting "smart women", but it isn't.. it's still promoting "smart, attractive women", and fuck, no offense to anyone, but if these calculus girls were so smart, why couldn't they make the site themselves?

Flames expected.

AskJesus proxy!

That AskJesus thing is awesome! Not because of how it messes up the pages you go to but because it is basically a CGI Proxy server!

You see, at my school to get on the internet we need to go through a proxy server that filters out any websites that haven't been deemed "educationally valuable." This is most sites on the internet.

But with this thing, since it fetches the page for you (so it can alter the text) we could go through this to get around the proxy! I bet my programming teacher would be surprised to see us looking at, say playboy.com whilst it is in ye olde english speak!

Thank you, Jesus!