Anyhow, I'm well aware of what people are thinking when they say "Fourth Reich", but as it's silly and wrong, I like to point that out.
In other words, thank you for providing an example.
I don't know how to respond to your first point, as I'm not entirely sure what it is. This is due to the ambiguous term "reactionary", which in this context usually refers to a class of attitudes on the far right. The left-wing instance of the class is termed "radical". So, I'm not sure what you mean by "reactionary extreme viewpoints". Rewritten as "extreme right-wing viewpoints" doesn't seem to fit the context of your approach, but I don't want to put words in your mouth.
For example, any Republican that comes out and says, "Illegal immigration is bad, it hurts Americans and we need to do something about it", will be lambasted as anti-immigrant, with Democrats all over the news talking about how we're a nation of immigrants and that this is just another example of the GOP being racist and hating American values. As if the "illegal" was never specified. An apalling affront to reason and public discourse.
Or like when Trump said that inner cities were a disaster because Democrats had failed the black community, and the response was, "look, he's saying racist things about black people!" The statement was a direct criticism of elected Democrats and their policies, and how they failed to help inner cities if not actually harming them. Could not have been less racist.
For as culturally and ethnically diverse as cities tend to be, they tend not to be all that diverse politically. The electoral college maintains the relevance of regional political diversity. Geography remains a "big deal" despite the fading economic importance of agriculture. The urban/rural divide has nothing to do with farming, it's about needs, attitudes and perspectives.
To them, gay marriage is a shocking and massive change to an ancient and fundamental concept, redefining something central to their world-view. It takes time to adjust, and things like protesting businesses and calling them homophobes is entirely counterproductive. The actual homophobes are rare, and painting all conservatives with that brush instead of letting them adjust and come around prompts resistance and rejection. Protesting outside a fast food restaurant and shouting insults doesn't work. Talk with them, listen to their concerns and express yours. Break down the barrier of "the other" with friendly engagement. They will listen. Show them there's nothing to worry about, and they'll come around. Call them bigots, and they will dig in and plug their ears.
Love works, anger does not.
But in the end, none of it matters because he won handily and it was the other side that rejected the outcome and took to the streets for... Are the protests still going on? It's been over a week.
Save energy: Drive a smaller shell.