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Journal eno2001's Journal: SAYINGS: "I'd Give My Left Nut" 10

Why is it that when a guy is REALLY intent on acquiring something or doing some particular action that they say, "I'd give my left nut to X"? Is there something special about the left nut as opposed to the right one? Or is it actually a secretive value judgement assuming that since it's the left one that perhaps it has LESS value than the right one? Personally I think this sort of discrimination needs to stop and that there should be equal time given to the offering of right nuts when something is desirable. Sure, "I'd give my right nut..." sounds less friendly and fun, but at least we'd be giving the right nuts a fair shot at being exchanged for something. If we wanted to be truly egalitarian we could say, "I'd give both nuts..." and then there is no issue of discrimintation whatsoever. But that seems a little extreme since you would then be a Eunuch (unless that's what you want which is OK if you are into that kind of thing). The preference to the left nut has gone on for far too long and it's time to take a stand for the rights of the right nut! So who's with me!!!?

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SAYINGS: "I'd Give My Left Nut"

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  • Since the early 80s I recall someone (Paul H.? hey it was ~25 years ago!) saying "I'd give my left nut to $FOO... The right one has cancer." I've used it countless times since.
    • I was actually thinking of suggesting something like, "I'd give both nuts and throw in my colon just to spend a night in Paris" (Hilton that is). But I decided to save that for any comment replies. Interestingly enough your recollection is similar to my idea. ;P So I guess the only other thing I should have added was... what WOULD someone give their left, right or both nuts for? I think my answer would be, a time/space travelling machine. It doesn't need to be shaped like a police box, it just needs to
      • "I'd give both nuts and throw in my colon just to spend a night in Paris" (Hilton that is).

        That'd probably just be a side effect of whatever you caught from her;-)

      • "I'd give both nuts and throw in my colon"

        Whoooo hooo! After ~25ish years a replacement for "my right one has cancer" hahahah! That's hilarious. Thanks!!!!
      • I'd settle for $100,000 (or more) for both, depending on what method would be used to extract them. Basically it would be like me getting paid to have a vasectomy. Another added bonus would be when people kick me in the crotch, I could just laugh at them.
      • I'd give a nut for a Tok'ra [wikipedia.org] symbiote, especially if the other one had cancer. Tok'ra can cure cancer, and they also bring all sorts of other little benefits.
        Oh, and most time machine safety envelopes have a slight defect in them. They can sometimes malfunction and take 90 minutes to resolve the danger. Not a big problem though, but you'll get a replacement if it happens too much.
  • 1. I've never said "I'd give my xxx nut for...", I always specify fingers, hands, arms, legs, pretty much anything but my nuts.
    2. As for why it's the left, it's obviously part of the vast right-wing conspiracy to undermine the left!
    • I always figured it was because most guys are right handed, and thus it would be easier to protect the reminaing nut.
  • Sometimes I give my right arm.
    So I don't think is't only left.
    I wonder what women say.
  • The left nut is less important than the right one. It probably leads to girl children, or left-handed children, or something, historically.

    In a bidding war, the next bid would have to be "I'd give either nut" followed by "Both!" from the back of the room.

    Women can only bid arms and legs, under the current rules. Presumably because ovaries are too awkward, and breasts too valuable.

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