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  • Just wanted to pass along my condolances, and hope that things continue to progress as amicably as possible.

    • For the record, this is a GOOD thing.

      But thanks.

      ....Bethanie....
      • a lot of endings are good, but rarely easy. i hope it works out the best it can for everyone involved.

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by dave-tx ( 684169 ) *

        I'm glad to hear you say it's a good thing (and I had kind of figured that was your perspective), but I just can't bring myself to say "congratulations" on something like this. How about "best wishes"?

      • For the record, this is a GOOD thing.

        I hope so. Studies show the worst thing any human being can go through is a divorce- the grieving process for the lady who just lost her husband on Mt. Hood will be easier than your grieving for your lost marriage. Also, don't forget Kiddo and Squirt- they deserve to have *both* parents around even if you can't live together anymore.

        • Re: (Score:1)

          by FroMan ( 111520 )
          I rarely agree with you MH42, but your are spot on this time.

          Even in the two weeks Ethan has been with us, I cannot imagine what life would be like without both my wife and I working to raise him. I pray that he will always have both of his parents, and that he nevers loses either of us to an accident or selfishness.
          • I'm always saddened by divorce- even divorces for "Good" reasons. But to a certain extent, the adults in the situation have brought it upon themselves; regardless of who did or didn't do what. The children though are innocent bystanders- they didn't do anything to cause the situation, but they will bear the worst of the pain of the change. This suffering can be lessened greatly if the parents stay in close enough proximity for the kids to literally walk between houses whenever necessary, and if the share
  • I must say I'm not terribly surprised. It certainly seemed from some of your comments that there was a good deal of frustration going on. I cerainly hope it works out well for both of you.

    • I saw it coming as well, and I'm sorry that it couldn't work out and the children have to go through this, but I also know that it's a LOT WORSE on kids when they parents try to stay together just for them and end up hating each other. B and I have our differences, but I respect her and if there is ONE THING I know about her, she's a good mother. I know that she considered the interests of her children very much in making this decision. B, I hope everything works out as best it can for you and yours in

      • Its like deja vu all over again ... but at least now you're not making not-so-oblique references to it.

        Definitely q "good luck" to everyone (though you're breaking the usual pattern, which is to wait until AFTER christmas, so as to get a bit more loot :-)

        • I thought the "wait until after Christmas to break up" was only for non-married people. I mean, if you are married, that's just more stuff to fight over in the divorce, right?

          • Yes and no - stuff that's given as a gift is obviously something you can't fight over ... and the person who's being left tends to try to "buy off" the person who wants to leave by giving more loot, not realizing that this just screams "you don't GET IT!"

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by ces ( 119879 )
      I can't say I'm exactly surprised either.

      I'm glad it sounds like it is on as friendly of terms as these things can be.
  • I really ought to post more often, so I don't feel like such a voyeur, but after the last several months' JE's I've wondered when that was coming. Good luck, I hope your divorce is easier than others I've seen. Oh, and who keeps the gym membership?
  • I'm glad you've both agreed on a plan of action, and I hope things can be done with a minimum of pain. Endings are beginnings too, and I hope this signifies a new, positive beginning for both of you.

    Hugs,

    Pix
  • I hope that everything works out for the best with minimal pain for all parties involved (you, hubby, kids, etc).

    And after a while we expect you to hook up with Smoove B [theonion.com] for at least a little while.
  • Echoing everyone else's comments. I hope this goes well for you and all involved - I know it's difficult.
  • Except that I wish you guys the best.

  • well (Score:2)

    by OctaneZ ( 73357 ) *
    all I know to do is say we are here for you.
    and offer lots of ::hugs::
  • Especially for the kids. I remember being threatened by the ex a few times, and all I had to say was, "do you want our daughter to have our money, or the lawyers to have our money?" If possibly, stipulating that you both go to mediation (binding arbitration) instead of hiring lawyers when a disagreement arises would be a good and cheaper thing for both of you. And I am sorry, though I am sure things will dramatically improve for everyone in the future. Good luck.
  • But not surprised. Even though I’m not one of those “in the know,” I could tell it was trending that way.

    Glad to hear it’s being handled as a positive, and I hope it works out as well as possible for all involved.

  • I know that you weren't party to mine, but in my divorce there was only one item that was up for dispute and that was a CD of Disney covers done by popular artists. I gave it to him and it annoyed him horribly. *grin*

    I understand there's more complications when there are children involved, but we hope things work well for you.

    Give me a shout if you ever want to talk.

    ^_^

    • Was it the CD itself that annoyed him or the concession on your part? :-)

      The kids aren't actually that complicated. We both agree that having Hubby in their lives as much as possible is the best thing. And that I'll remain the primary caregiver is somewhat presumed.

      But even that is flexible, as far as I'm concerned.

      Thanks, RHK. I appreciate your support. :-)

      ....Bethanie....
      • You're right, it was the concession that annoyed him. (that and the fact that he had been passive-aggressive and trying to get ME to initiate the divorce and i refused to play that game)

        ^_^

  • I guess I'm kind of on the record as not being a really rah-rah matrimony type of guy. Tend to think it's not the cleverest thing and so forth.

    That said, it is always sad when one fails. Especially when one or more of the participants wanted it to and really tried. I guess it's the romantic in me. 'Cuz it sure is nice when it all clicks. Or so I've been led to believe.

    I got nothing to offer in the "make it work" department, as experience has proven. However, I am pretty good at the "amicable divorce, get al
  • Especially for your kids. That's the greatest tragedy in this, not the dissolution of the marriage, but the effect moving forward it'll have on the kids.

    Also, if anyone in the circle is surprised by this, they really haven't been paying close attention now have they? Good luck on everything working out between the two of you. I hope you both find what you need at the end of the tunnel here.

  • Faith (Score:2)

    by RM6f9 ( 825298 ) *
    A belief not supported by sufficient empirical data - nonetheless, it applies here, as I have faith that all will work out for the long-term best of all parties involved.

  • Can't really say much more than that.

  • no text
  • i know you're happy that you're finally taking this step, but hopefully you can still mourn what started out as an honest and loving relationship with a lot of hope and looking to the future together. there's always that bit that would stick in my mind during a breakup and i'd have to deal with that for sure. it was always a huge lump in my chest even if it was obvious ending the relationship was the right thing to do.

    hope everything stays smooth for you and i'm still sorry to hear things didn't turn arou
    • Yeah, it's a grieving process, to be sure. But for me, the divorce is beyond the funeral. It's more like, oh, say the unveiling of the headstone (even though I'm not Jewish and not 100% clear on that whole ritual or how it might be analogous). But suffice to say, the vast majority of the emotion and heartbreak have already taken place. Now all that's left is the paperwork.

      ....Bethanie....
  • i hope you and your (soon-to-be-ex-) man can each move towards something that suits you better.

    i hope the kids are able to understand enough and it isn't too tough for them.

    i hope things don't get too ugly.
  • as I am the only one who didn't see this coming.

    In other news: numEligibleFemalesOnSlashdot++
  • Well, your post "sounds" as though you're ok and things are ok. I hope that is true. And I hope all does go well for you and your family.

    I'm not on /. often anymore, but you should know that if you need anything (and I realise I'm 1001 on a list of a 1000 friends) my family and I will do what we can for you.

    Take care...
    • Yeah, kinda amazing how things evolve over the course of time, isn't it?

      I really am OK now. The heartbreak has been going on for a long time and by now the emotions have pretty much all been used up.

      Thanks for the support; hope all is well with you and yours, as well. :-)

      ....Bethanie....
      • Yeah, kinda amazing how things evolve over the course of time, isn't it?

        Hot Zombie Love [slashdot.org] was particularly interesting to reread with respect to that. A lot of people commented who are now in completely different situations than they ever may have expected to be.
        • Yeah, that's occurred to me, as well -- for a long time now.

          I've got a lot of ideas about it, but it's not yet time for me to publish them. After papers are signed and agreements are finalized, then issues will be open for discussion. Until then -- I am showing respect for the dead.

          ....Bethanie....
  • Geez, I take a little vacation and all sorts of news tries to slip by me.

    Good luck and best wishes to all four of you, B.

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