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How Not to Attract Geeks 451

Hutta writes "The ultra-reputable Weekly World News has a story about Why Some Gals Attract Geeks Like a Magnet. (Quote: 'When they hear you say, 'Aw, I don't know,' [...] their big floppy ears perk up like Pop Tarts from a toaster.'" Remember, WWN is even more reputable than Slashdot. We get all of our news from there.
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How Not to Attract Geeks

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  • I bit her ear, she farted, and flew out of the room... I didn't know she punctured so damn easy...
  • by Anonymous Coward
    well.. It's actually not hard to get women.. I am very much a geek by nature ( sorry.. couldnt help having a high IQ ) The way to get women is very sad... you must act cool.. and stupid... and cater to her emotional needs. This of course can by manipulated.. and if done right.. you will have her in the palm of your hands... ( better her than something else!! ) Other advice is to stay somewhat in shape.. lift weights, jogging.. something.. I know it seems to many to be a waste of time, but just think of it as "staying in health." If you are willing to put this much energy in being stupid.. then you will get the perks. When you are not around her.. become super geek again.. If she catches you.. tell her that you are very busy.. and sound a little annoyed.. this will give you a winning combination. Not all women need this approach, but they all have a primal need for protection and concern...
  • My 3rd wife now is 20 years younger than me. Like the others, she married me for my money. She gets what she wants out of the marriage ($$$ and the high life style) and I get what I want (great sex and a showpiece for the college reunions.) Surely the women know this when they enter the relationship, so they shouldn't be surprised when they wear out and get tossed for the next trophy wife. Is this little more than long term prostitution? So what if it is? Everyone's getting what they want aren't they?

    Mr. AC Pig.

  • by Anonymous Coward
    Gals, 1. Make sure you stick your breasts out to make them appear to be larger than they actually are. 2. Smoke cigars. This will show those losers that you can think for yourself. 3. Let your boyfriend beat you up. Nobody who's cool is caught hanging out with a kind/sensitive geek. Unless your boyfriend is cheating on you/beating you up/playing golf all day every day, you've bagged a loser. 4. Dress better. You're ugly. All the other girls say you're ugly. Cool guys don't like ugly girls, you pig. 5. You're fat. Kill yourself. 6. Reading is for losers. Don't be caught reading anything longer than 20 pages. 7. You are better than geeks. We should round up geeks and put them in a concentration camp and kill them. Doesn't that sound nice? You don't want any "pocket protector-wearing geeks" just walking the streets do you? They're inferior and must be exterminated. Folks, it's this kind of crap that made my younger sister the way she is. This is the kind of crap which breeds the unfriendly women you run into every day. I think the center of this mindset is Boston, MA. Take a walk around Harvard Square and see if you disagree. Scrimp. -Your mother.
  • by Anonymous Coward
    Dr Rachel Carmotta has made a very insightful argument -- We must take action before it is too late!

    We, as a community must rise up and take hold of this proliferation of bug collectors and Steve Urkels. Forif we do not, we shall become victimized by their incessant love letters enshrined in perl code.

    God forbids that we should treat these cowlickers, these nerdy dudes who would embarrasse us in our most modest moments. Quick! Pick up your head and put your shoulders back lest weirdos in pants with cuffs just below the knees victimize you!

    Don't be cute. Don't look the victim! These wimps, these bow tie wearing dorks who lack self esteem are plotters. They seek insecure people and take advantage of them. Hide!

    The worst part of this entire deal is the number of women who believe they simply have the bad luck of being chased incessantly by these nerdy filth. Action must be taken.

    Finally, don't let yourself become disillusioned that they are really people who have a dated stereotype. This rumor is totally untrue -- nerds have no life, no feelings, no aspirations, no social graces, no fun, no creativity, no joy in talking to successful women. They all would rather stick pins into dead invertebrae. This subclass, this demoted class of pseudo-human-beings must not be treated compassionately as the big floppy eared brutes do not deserve such respect for their supposed accomplishments in all areas of society.

    Take action now!

  • by Anonymous Coward
    The most vehement commentary to this one seems to be along the lines of dishing out real-life cases of "us" being with "them"; "nerds" and "models". Seems to be that all of us men are applying some real quality judgement standards...

    At a minimum we can all agree that we (all men) stare at one of the "wrong" places when talking to a woman:

    Our feet
    Their feet
    Somewhere under their chin, but above their feet

    The advice in this book is certainly nothing new. Projection and confidence are attractive qualities for both gender. This is no surprise. The only surprise is the working title of this author's next book, which I heard is called "How to Keep Nerds away from your Harem; A Confident Man's Guide to Protecting Women from Danger."

  • I can think of nothing that would annoy a hacker more than any system that exhibits erratic and only marginally predictable behaviour. Women (and men), i.e., any real people, are just such a system. So hackers choose to ignore the disordered systems that they cannot take apart and fix, and to deal with the orderly ones instead. Hence, bachelor mode.
  • by Anonymous Coward
    Wrong. In fact, the exact opposite.

    You can educate the ignorant. But just try
    taking a twinkie away from a fat chick.
    I should know. I got stuck with one.
  • by Anonymous Coward
    7h47z R16h7 848y, 1F U D0n'7 5133P W17h m3, Ur Ur W38 5y73 & Ur H4rD DR1\/3 W1|_|_ N3V3R 533 7H3 L16H7 Ov D4Y. I 0Wn j00 848Y!!!$%$!$!$!!!!1!!!
  • by Anonymous Coward
    What if I wrote a piece on how NOT to attract black persons, using all the stereo types about black.

    I'm sure the outrage would be much greater.
    What exactly is the difference.

    Both types of articles would use improper stereo types to help classify the "sub people".

    Geeks wear pocket protectors and have bug collections no more than blacks carry watermelons in there cadilacs.

    PS. Why is HTML format default. I HATE that.
    Plain text should be default.
  • by Anonymous Coward
    I've known geeks who, through lack of relationship experience, don't have the ability to build a healthy relationship.

    There are dorks who objectify women (or men - I've seen it) as idiots and sex toys. People who get so high on their own IQ that the rest of the world takes on a default inferior status.

    A LARGE number of nerds become so dedicated to their one pursuit (Nintendo, Sys Admin, work or play) that they react with hostility to whoever doesn't value their activity with the same fervor.

    Having a pocket protector and a cowlick doesn't mean you suck, but it sure doesn't mean that you don't suck either.
  • by Anonymous Coward
    Sadly, that's not entirely true. It's just a matter of finding the intelligent ones on a night when they're not feeling particularly confident.

    Maybe that doesn't apply to you personally, but I assure you I have met plenty of attractive, intelligent, and all-around-decent women in exactly the way he describes. It's sad that it works, but it does work.

  • by Anonymous Coward
    You're a chick and you dated geek chicks? Isn't that pretty cruel to the rest of us, taking them out of circulation and all?
  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 21, 1999 @11:11AM (#1596320)
    No kidding. This approach is totally lame, and will only net you stupid and/or gullible women. I'm a geek with a successful love life; I've had one for years, and I've never had to be someone else to get women interested in me. Why would you even want a relationship in which you had to be something you're not? There's a lot more to life than sex, and hey, even sex is best when you can be who you are.

    And women aren't all turned off by geekspeek -- they're turned off by inattentive men. Don't fear to geek out -- just pay attention, and don't go on those in-depth rants if she's not following. I've explained Direct3D vs. OpenGL to girlfriends in the past. They dug it. Trust me on this one. Just don't try it on the stupid.

    We geeks have a lot to offer, compared to our knuckle-dragging, Maxim-reading mouth-breathing brethren. Don't waste it by trying to be someone else's image of a kEWl d00d.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 21, 1999 @08:42AM (#1596321)
    Believe it or not, if you habitually walk slumped over with your eyes to the ground, this tiny change can dramatically alter the kinds of men who approach you.

    Q: How do you recognize an extraverted software engineer?
    A: He looks at your shoes when he talks to you.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 21, 1999 @09:14AM (#1596322)
    Women want to marry that "cool guy". You know who I mean- the ex jock, Mr. Macho type... Guys who are big, strong, and can snap geeks in half... with the brains of a trout. Then they marry him and realize that:

    (1) this guy can't financially support himself, much less a family. ("cool" adds nothing to a job resume, you know.)
    (2) he's so used to having his pick of women that he'll cheat on you with the next skirt to walk by. (How did you meet this guy, again?)
    (3) Will beat you. (that high testosterone level and arrogant macho attitude and all. What did you expect?)

    The women, then having failed one relationship, set out to look to do it all over again. "But he's got a great ass/body/muscles/whatever!", they'll say. And as for that geeky guy who works the machine room at the office? Eeewww! "In your dreams, pal.", they'll say, never looking behind the pocket protector. Well, women with this kind of philosophy will get no sympathy from me when they get their lives all screwed up. The geek is far more likely to cherish a woman and treat her right because he knows what a rare find love is. The macho bloke would most likely chuckle at the mere mention of the work love. Think about the signifigance of this.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 21, 1999 @09:37AM (#1596323)
    When I was in school, I had a nickname:

    "Chick Magnet" (there were variations: "Shit Faggot" was the most popular, along with "Chick Maggot")

    Why? I repelled girls like the wrong side of a magnet. It was my first encounter with the sophisticated irony that would eventually drive me completely insane and lead me to shoot up my school while wearing a bunny suit, singing Beethoven's "Ode To Joy".

    Really, guys, I know most of this doesn't apply to you-- most of the people who read Slashdot probably enjoy being alone to a certain extent (I know that I do-- more time to think...), but that doesn't mean we don't know how to get along.

    For those of you that *do* fall under that category, thoough: there is hope. Try a few different things:

    *You know that platonic female friend of yours? Maybe you met her via IRC? Or maybe she's your next door neighbor or the daughter of one of you mom's friends? Yeah, her. Talk to her. Really-- try and pick her brain. Consider it a reverse-engineering project to figure out what stimuli can achieve the desired effect. Either that, or just ask her outright for help on becoming more of a ladies man-- she might help you.

    *Get out. You don't have to play football, and you don't have to go to a god-awful smoke-filled club where you drink yourself silly-- try going to a local park, just to watch the sunset. Not only is it good exercise to help you "firm up" for the ladies, but it's a great time to reflect. Who knows, maybe you'll develop an appreciation for nature-- chicks dig that.

    *Relax. Try to behave in a relaxed manner around girls. Seriously-- if that platonic female friend of yours happens to live near by, start with her. Try and not concentrate on the fact that she's a girl. Just try and make friends with her-- that's where lots of good relationships start.

    *Work on the self-esteem. You notice that most of the suggestions in the article above have to do with becoming too intimidating for a geek to approach. Remember-- somewhere inside you is a really bitchin' person that will rock that girl's world. If that girl doesn't think so, it's her loss. But *don't* go after the girls that have low self-confidence-- you'll both wind up raising wimpy kids that, while they will eventually go on to MIT, will have the *shit* kicked out of them in high school. Your offspring deserve better.

    *Try to make friends with females. This is what finally worked for me. I just went out and made friends with a lot of the girls at school. If you don't have the social skills to make friends, then develop those skills first-- then move on to dating. Seriously, if "the girls" ever invite you out for a night of shopping at the mall, don't turn them down-- it will help you learn more about what girls look for in a guy, besides a nice ass and some good-lookin' pecs.

    *Try after-school activities. Jesus, isn't it *obvious*? The Math Club doesn't count, and neither does your Magic: The Gathering clan. What I'm talking about is going out there and joining the debate team-- educational, and there are lots of girls that you will, at some point, be *forced* to interact with in a semi-combative way. Not only that, but the arguing will prepare you for marriage.

    *Be yourself, but don't focus on it. If you're not a dashing, debonaire James Bond-ish type of person, don't pretend to be. If you're a person with strong convictions-- don't hide them. Sincerity is the key to any good relationship. By pretending to be somebody that you're not, you screw the relationship from the start.

    *Remember-- you miss 100% of the shots you never take. I know that sounds trite, but it seems oddly appropriate here. Half the geeks that complain to me about their lack of love life have never even asked a girl out. Before you compplain, you need to TRY IT. What's the worst-case scenario? She shoots you down? Hey, buddy, let me let you in on a little secret: it happens to everybody. And the whole school isn't going to laugh at you because of it. Hell, you'll probably be more respected for having the self-confidence to even *talk* to a girl.

    Good luck, guys, and don't worry too much-- you'll mature with time, and while you might not become Pierce Brosnan, you can at least be a bit better than Steve Urkel.
  • Um... what exactly is IN that pipe you're taking hits from?

    I hate to break the news to you buddy, but some of us are good with computers and also -gasp- good with people. One does NOT have to be EITHER intelligent OR good looking. One does NOT have to be EITHER trustworthy OR personable. Give me a damn break. You know what I hate most about being a Computer Engineering major? The fact that narrow sighted people like yourself associate themselves with me, and try to quantify me and my personallity. Come on, throw that chip on your shoulder away. There's 3 billion guys in the world, and unless your name is Jesus Q. Christ, there's no way you've met even a fraction of them. Who are you to tell me I've got no prayer of landing an attractive wife because I happen to work with computers? Who are you to tell me I'm an arrogant jock who's not got two functioning brain cells because I play soccer and can squat twice my body weight?

    Seriously, people, think for a second. If you have absolutely no luck with the fairer sex, maybe the problem is with YOU, not them. I mean, you're so busy cutting women down and calling them stupid it's no damn wonder none of the good ones want anything to do with you. I don't blame them a bit. But ya know what... the world does need narrow sighted people like you, so that women can see just how good us well rounded guys are when compared to the morons out there.

    My advice to you is to forget about the fact you probably outscored someone on a standardized test, and get to know the person. When it comes right down to it, women want security, comfort, and love. What they DON'T want is someone arrogant, self-absorbed, and psuedo-superior. And they most definately don't want someone who they would have to hide from their friends and family because of his total lack of social skills and his overpowering ego.

    Come off your ego trip and relax a bit. Your world will be a much happier place.



  • So, when was the word "loser" defined in terms of how much I socialize? I propose a new definition: "Loser" is now defined as those that do not not know as much as I do about technical things. There, who's the loser now?

    I AM NOT A LOSER. Why should I have to listen to everyone out there that points at me and says "haha - look at the computer geek!" ?

    Maybe I have been on fewer dates than I have fingers. Maybe I don't go to frat parties and drink myself stupid every weekend. Maybe I do laugh at the definition of recursion (n. see recursion).

    Don't hate me because I'm not beautiful. Don't hate me because I know stuff. Don't hate me just because I have my own priorities.
  • Walk around MIT.:-) Not quite the same thing.
  • That's the first thing I thought too. It's good to see another Bill Hicks fan loose in the world.
  • "Let's go for it!" == #1 get-picked-up line to use around the whole football team ;P (yeesh!)
  • 7h47z R16h7 848y, 1F U D0n'7 5133P W17h m3, Ur Ur W38 5y73 & Ur H4rD DR1\/3 W1|_|_ N3V3R 533 7H3 L16H7 Ov D4Y. I 0Wn j00 848Y!!!$%$!$!$!!!!1!!!

    That translates to:

    "That's right baby, if you don't sleep with me, your web site and your hard drive will never see the light of day. I own you baby!"
  • Well, it is a joke, but did they mean it as one or are they being serious. :)

    If I actually cared I'd do a search and find out if the person actually exits and her book is actually being published. Hmm, maybe I will.


  • Geeks crave conflict, and thrive on collective arrogance. So if a woman says "Yes, without a doubt", and "Let's go for it." in a decicive response to whatever, the geek will immediately start an argument. If the woman -wins- the argument by being confident, strong and decicive, she will be elevated to "Sex Goddess" status in the geek's eyes, no further qualifications needed.

    On the other hand, "real" men are only interested in meek girly-girls. Strong and confident women are a nuisance and a waste of time for the self-obsessed Leonardo DiCaprio clone.

    Face it, femme-fatales, only a nerd will actually care that you have a brain up there, that you have opinions you want to express.

    Plus, it's a guarantee that the geek won't hesitate to accomodate whatever sexual hang-ups you've hid from your previous beaus. Those brainiacs are the most avid perversiuon hounds, and the kinkier, the better.

    So Geek Relationships = Long talks on the beach and something new learned every day. If worse comes to worse, you can cure him of his highwaters and short-sleeve plaid shirt addiction by treating him like an overgrown Ken doll.

    Leonardo Clones = passive, plastic, missionary-position boredom. If worse comes to worse you can always get him to appreciate that you are a person, not an accessory by nagging at him until he beats you.

    SoupIsGood Food
  • Write a web page on how not to attract geeks and don't put the your name on it. Thank God I'm not a woman. So many games they have to play as the followers and recievers, always patterning their lives based on men's every whim. You don't see men getting told to avoid phrases in the english language. Maybe the best strategy is for women to become the initiators and providers.
  • We are in particular interested in girls who believe what they read Weekly World News. That proves they are both smart and critical.
  • Hey! What's wrong with bug collections and Nintendo?

  • Would "Bitter" be a plus or a minus or would the moderator get to decide?
  • The last bit of your post rang a chord with me. I get too many idiots unable to understand the fact that it's possible to have a friendship with a female, that is completely non-sexual. They sit there, and look at you with confused eyes as if to say, "How can that be?".

    Isn't it sad that the world has come to this.
  • *You know that platonic female friend of yours? Maybe you met her via IRC? Or maybe she's your next door neighbor or the daughter of one of you mom's friends? Yeah, her. Talk to her. Really-- try and pick her brain. Consider it a reverse-engineering project to figure out what stimuli can achieve the desired effect.

    Dude, are you nuts? Do you seriously expect me not ot view every attractive woman in site as a potential mate, watch her with appreciation, and fantasize about her? I thought all men did this all the time.

    Then again, maybe I'm just a member of the geek subcategory known as horny geeks. It's just that I've never met any other kind...
    Beer recipe: free! #Source
    Cold pints: $2 #Product

  • Yes, I definitely appreciate the value of platonic relationships. Most of my friends are women (I'm not sure why), and the fact is that I will never end up in bed with 95% of them. Luckily, my brain has enough control over my gonads that I can sort of set aside the physical attraction and appreciate all the great things a friendhsip has to offer.

    Still, when I walk down the street, I look... it's just part of my nature. I once had a girlfriend who was really upset by this behavior, so I stopped it for the last six months we were together. It almost killed me... I could do it with great effort, but I knew I was just denying my nature. This is not to say that I wasn't immensely attracted to her, or that I wasn't deeply in love with her. I was both. Nor is it to say that I actually wanted to do anything with any of those women I used to look at--being unfaithful to my lover was the last thing I would ever do. Nonetheless, I felt the urge to look.

    During this time, I talked to a lot of my male friends about this tendency. I was starting to get worried that maybe I had some kind of obsession, since giving up looking was so hard. The universal response was, "No, that's just the way you're wired. I'm exactly the same!" The fact is that I automatically respond to the attractiveness of any woman I meet, even any woman who walks into my field of vision, and I can no more change my appreciation of the female form than I could change my esthetic preferences from modern to Raphaelite art!

    So there you have it. Call me a shameless lecher if you like. I don't attach any value judgment to the way I am.

    Beer recipe: free! #Source
    Cold pints: $2 #Product

  • You don't need to be a jerk to attract women, you just need to outwardly display the qualities (in jerks) that women go for.

    Not all women go for jerks.

    Who the hell is interested in women who do?

  • Come on, who could pass up a free email address at weeklyworldnews.net? Obviously not me, as you can see. Needless to say "batboy" and "sonofbatboy" were already taken.
  • Actually, at first I didn't know because I didn't recognize the title. Then I went to the front page.
  • You'd be surprised to learn how many nerds take up martial arts. Most of the more serious martial artists I've met over the years are also nerds, and I'm sure quite a number of them are reading this right now. Come to think of it, it was a fellow martial artist who first introduced me to Slashdot (hi Matthew! ;)

    Joao de Souza - co-moderator - rec.martial-arts.moderated [rec.martia....moderated]
  • A couple of people seem to be taking this story seriously. They must not know (any more than I did a few minutes ago) what kind of publication WWN is. I advise these people to take a look at the front page. Heck, even read a few stories. If you pretend it's The Onion, you'll laugh your lungs out.
  • by nowan ( 4075 ) <nowan@@@nowan...org> on Thursday October 21, 1999 @10:38AM (#1596345)
    "cool" -> "people person"
    "arrogant macho attitude" -> "leadership potential"

    So these cool, testosterone-loaded jocks are quite capable of making money -- they become suits. ;)
  • Check out Aikido, Bujinkan Budo Taijutsu, or Shaolin Kung-fu, and you'll have a tough time finding a more quirky pile-o-geeks.

    You *have* to be a bit of a geek to have the persistence and curiosity neccessary to learn anything worthwhile from these arts!

    If you were to specify say, kick-boxing, or shoot-fighting or something more macho, I would agree whole-heartedly.

    Besides, does Catherine Raymond walk around with her gi on and an arm-load of trophies all the time? I don't think so!

  • "How To Attract The Low-Brow Wife-Beating Macho Stalker of Your Dreams!"

    Available now!

  • always patterning their lives based on men's every whim

    Wow! Where do I meet one of THOSE???

  • inDEED. I've found that 'normal' guys (or normal guys my age, at least) have little in common with me or aren't mature enough for me to be interested in.

    Having well-adjusted geeks (gee, intelligent conversation /and/ a love of technology/computers!) attracted to me is a bonus, not a curse. Nor does having a passion for computers mean that a 'geek' has to be so one-dimensional that they don't have other intersting facets of their personality as well. Geeks are not by any means all pocket-protector-wearing dorks, any more than my being a geek-chick means I must slump around and giggle nervously a lot. Egads.

    Long live geekiness.

  • -- just slightly overweight makes better cuddle-partners.
    -- I'm 5'5".
    -- Red hair. /used/ to have freckles.
    -- definitely a geek.
    -- Bryn Mawr college grad... your decision if i'm intelligent, talk to me ;).
    -- Can't say i'm into punk music. Although i've had friends with hot pink hair.
    -- Don't know what IRC stands for, sorry. I know what PPTP stand for though...although that's NT. (i can't help it, i didn't plan to be an NT admin)
    -- unfortunately, i'm sorta 'taken.'

    Point being, ideal (geek) chicks do exist. (not saying i'm yours, just saying they exist.) Just a matter of what you consider 'ideal.'

  • no, didn't say i was, just saying that cuddling with those who /were/ a bit overweight is nice (two sticks don't work as well ;).) People would hurt me if i ever said i was fat.
  • I've had my fair share of difficulty finding the 'good ones' too. Quite often, they're taken. *frown.*

    As for your other point-- there is. it's called Peer2Peer, a geek site for dating run by the userfriendly.org people. Check it out.

  • Anyone else noticed how closely this parallels recent events in GPF [gpf-comics.com]?

    (If you don't read GPF, you should)

    Then again, maybe I'm just on crack.

  • by cthonious ( 5222 ) on Thursday October 21, 1999 @08:49AM (#1596354)

    It's a joke newspaper, like the Onion - I can't believe you guys don't know that.

    Unlike the Onion, it's just barely believeable enough so that folks with IQ's under 90 will tend to believe it.

  • I just started dating a girl last week. She giggles a fair bit and tends to come out with lines like "I don't know". However, that's not what attracted me to her in the first place. Still, it's kind of worrying to see articles like this.

    However, I don't find staying in a "good night". I prefer a good night out socialising with friends a good night, preferably with a little dancing.

  • Money has this habit of accumulating, wheras looks have this habit of deteriorating. So this exchange isn't really fair, because the advantage is always with you.

  • George McFly is Marty's extremely-super-duper-ultra nerdy father.
  • Oh, and no-one actually knows what 'love' is. It seems to be an excuse these days, or a word used in place of an apology. I doubt, somehow, that the concept even exists anymore. Egad, I hope not! I probably don't "know" what love is either, but I've a pretty damned good idea. I'm 21 years old, and have been married to a lovely young woman (20) for 1.5 years now. Like another poster said, where a "jock"-type guy with the nasty wife-beating habit won't care for a woman in the slightest, a "geek" will cherish such a rare find. You can count me into the latter category -- I value my wife higher than myself or any of my gadgets or computers. That sounds corny, but it's true -- stuff can be replaced, but she can't. She might not be married to the hottest looking guy on Earth, but she'll absolutely *never* have to be afraid of not having a place to live, food to eat, things to do, or of being left alone to fend for herself so long as I'm alive. And since I've got the brains to put away some of my earnings into investment plans, I'll leave behind a good pile of money for her if I happen to die before she does. You're completely correct though in saying "intelligence and personality is bottom on the list." It is, and it's pathetic. Utterly pathetic. How many of you folks out there have had the displeasure of watching female friends make horrible mistakes because even though they know/like you, they somehow always forget that there's more to humans than physical appearance when they're out "picking their mate" for the night? I've got quite a few friends who are women, and it really hurts sometimes to watch them get screwed over by poor choices. One has a baby by a man who, while he was "attractive" and good looking to her, chose to bail out on her and abandon both her and the baby. Fortunately she's got quite a few geek friends (myself included) and caring parents who've all pitched in to help, but it still hurts us all to know she's going to be in this position for life now. Another has gotten involved with a fine young man with only a "slight" over-protectiveness problem. You know, just minor things like calling her every 1/2 hour to check up on her, checking the caller ID every night when he gets home, and being very suspicious of any other men who dare to speak to her. And he certainly doesn't like any of us :). The sad part is, we barely ever get to see her anymore -- he's absorbed her almost completely and doesn't let her out to play very often :(. I don't think I'll ever figure out how women choose their mates. If you try to argue that it's all biological, and that women pick the best-looking guys because their instincts say they're the best bet for healthy offspring, it almost makes sense except that those are the men least likely to really be able to provide for and take of any offspring. They're the kind you find in trailer parks in their mid-thirties with cars up on blocks. Most other species don't "pair up" like that -- the father impregnates and bails, leaving the mother to care for offspring. Of course, most other species don't need to *buy* food, shelter, and supplies for their children, either. And I think we all know most women don't look to hard at the intellect part. It's just really sad, and I'm not entirely sure there's a good solution to it. :(
  • I loved this story. Let me just say that I have been a proud WWN reader for a couple of months now, and highly recommend it to anyone who likes The Onion [theonion.com]. WWN is not so obviously a satirical publication, as the onion, but it is lampooning itself constantly. Every issue, I'm afraid that the cover story will be "WWN Staff admits WWN is a hoax. Longest running joke in America finally comes clean. Noted Experts baffled." For the uninitiated, read Dear Dotti [weeklyworldnews.com] and Ed Anger [weeklyworldnews.com]. You wont be disappointed.

    Noted Expert.
  • Take up martial arts. No geek is going to think they have a chance in Hell with a six-time Karate champion (like Tove Torvalds), or a black belt in Tae Kwon Do (like Catherine Raymond).

  • by jms ( 11418 ) on Thursday October 21, 1999 @11:32AM (#1596374)
    Amazing advice ...

    "Far too many women think it's just bad luck that the only men who ask them out are nerdy nobodies with pocket protectors and pants cuffs that stop just below the knees.

    Not just a stereotype, but an UGLY stereotype. Better listen to her advice, or you might find yourself stuck married to someone who turns out to be a scientist or engineer!


    Of course! This will make your breasts stick out like a pair of headlights. This will help attract men who are interested in your breasts. That's a start!

    Putting your shoulders forward is a mild cue that says that you're approachable. Walking with your shoulders back and head up has the opposite effect of making yourself appear aloof and uninterested.

    This will help drive away those "losers" who might be interested in you as a friend first -- and attract the men who are primarily interested in the challenge posed by your outthrust breasts.

    After all, you're deliberately putting out strong signals that you aren't interested, and then dating those men who deliberately ignore those signals, right?

    Now that you've started out your relationship by rewarding him for disrespecting your subliminal signals, what other signals is he going to ignore?
    "Date Rape Magnet," anyone?

    AVOID NERVOUS GIGGLING -- Women who laugh when they're uncomfortable look vulnerable ... only laugh when something genuinely amuses you.

    Yes. Never attempt to defuse an uncomfortable situation with giggling or laughter. It might give the impression that you are a tolerant person, and attract other tolerant "losers."

    Don't smile, giggle or laugh just because you're happy ... because being happy attracts the wrong sort of people -- you might wind up in a happy relationship -- instead of the "Leonardo DeCaprio" fantasy relationship you're after.

    Plus, the unamused look on your face will help him to concentrate on your forward-thrust breasts.

    After all, it's not like this advice is going to get you someone who is interested in your personality anyway, so you might as well keep your eyes on the prize ...

    BANISH WISHY-WASHY PHRASES FROM YOUR CONVERSATION ... [like] "Aw, I don't know," ... or "Gee, I'm not sure"

    Heaven forbid you should ever admit that you are unsure about anything or might be in any way fallable. This will just make yourself less desirable as a sexual object, and attract the sort of "losers" who readily admit when they aren't sure about something.

    You'll be much better off in a relationship where neither of you can or will ever say "I don't know". Let us all know how your first argument works out.

    Speak with confidence and cultivate phrases like "Without a doubt," "Yes, absolutely," and "Let's go for it."

    Especially when he propositions you for sex ... which is about the only avenue of communication you are leaving open, and the only interest you are expressing.

    DON'T ADJUST YOUR CLOTHING TOO MUCH -- This simple habit sends the message: "I'm not sure I'll be accepted" -- just the news the weirdos want to hear. They'll flock to you in droves.

    This is so funny. I have a picture of a poor girl trying all this advice. All her girlfriends have great looking athletic boyfriends majoring in "general studies", but the only guys who are interested in here are those pathetic looking chemical engineering students and computer science majors. (Hey, I can toss around the stereotypes with the best of them :-) Luckily, she has found this book that is going to change her life. There she stands, breasts thrust forward. Afraid to adjust her skirt, which has ridden up her butt, for fear of looking like she's afraid of not being accepted, trying desperately to look unamused and aloof, pretending she knows everything.

    Meanwhile, the guys with IQs over 100 are keeping a mile away from this obvious pretentious fraud,

    and she wonders why the guys who she meets all look good and sound confident at first, but after a while she finds out that they're, gosh, pretentious frauds.

    Following this advice will definitely keep the "geeks" away from you. They're too busy looking for honest, friendly relationships to put up with more then about 10 seconds of fake crap.

    In my experience, "geeks" are acutely aware of rejection signals, and shy away from people who radiate them. They are also accepting people, and are drawn towards other accepting people.

    So if you feel that geeks are attracted to you, maybe it's because you're putting out signals that you're interested in them. Maybe you should stop listening to people, like this author, who denegrate them, and listen to yourself instead, because following this bad advice is just going to make you hate yourself in the long run.

    From my little soapbox :-)

    - John

  • As much as I hate to reply to my own post and as much as I appreciate the kind karma points , it almost seems like we need a new moderation category for these kinds of topics.

    Anyone for a "Bitter" category?

  • by Loligo ( 12021 ) on Thursday October 21, 1999 @08:35AM (#1596378) Homepage

    Yeah, lord knows women wouldn't wanna attract intelligent, successful, sensitive guys with a real solid future ahead of 'em.

    What a bunch of bow-tie wearin' cowlicked losers we are.

  • Why can't a guy be both? I'm fairly big, fairly strong. I take Karate twice a week, go rollerblading, and so forth. I also write nonfiction, fiction, and poetry. I can do my share of programming, calculus, physics, and the like. And many things I didn't mention. Women don't need to see past anything on me, and that is because I am more than just the sum of my parts.

    If a woman needs to see past your pocket protector to get to the real you, then you need fixing! Get out of your little box and see the world! Not everything in the world is computers, not even close. Not even a majority of the good things in the world has anything to do with computers. When I am with the right woman, I can talk for hours on zillions of interesting (to both of us!) subjects without even bringing up a computing device.

    The moral of the story: Sure some women are excessively superficial. But some men, especially geeks, are too far the other way. There's more to love than having a guy around who can make a lot of money, won't beat you up, and can solve fourth-order equations in his sleep.
  • So, women want to do stupid things (date stupid men)- let them! You don't have to lower yourself to dating them. Let them be animals. Let them live in intellectual squalor. They'll reap exactly what they sow. You deserve better than someone who doesn't treat you exactly how you deserve. Eventually, you'll find someone who does give you just what you should get. It's all about patience.

  • Sure, it's a fake newspaper written to be funny, but it just doesn't match the Onion. It's more like your basic tabloid with less celebrity gossip/paparazzi type stuff. It's a bunch of fake articles meant to sound plausible, like this one here. There is not much real wit behind it and it caters to a much shallower audience.

    The Onion, on the other hand, is often genius, or at least wacky enough to really draw a laugh. It is more appreciated by people with a brain and its writers do a good job of savagely skewering practically anything or anyone. Every sentence in its articles can be savored for its double meaning and irony so thick you can cut it with a knife.

    Yes, this article is a joke. No, it isn't well written, and it's not all that funny.

  • Yeah, but among geeks, we all know that Flynn really refers to a character in Tron.

  • Forget about the geek aspect of the article, and it's not too bad. I remember back in my dating days that there was little that turned me off as much as a girl who had no self esteem. Women who have self confidence are more likely to be successful in many areas of life, including dating. Sure, there may be a few guys out there who get scared of confident women, but for the most part, those aren't the guys that women really want to end up with anyway.
  • As a Nerdy Man (in clear preference to "geek"), which is alternatively described in the article as "wierdo", "loser" (shall we compare salaries, Dr. Rachel Carmotta?), "desperate wimps", "nerdy dude with the cowlick and bow tie", "nerdy nobodies with pocket protectors and pants cuffs that stop just below the knees", and "geeky oddballs", I must confess the following:

    I am extremely attracted to:
    Yes siree Bob, as a bona-fide geeky loser I find these extremely attractive, which causes a lot of friction with my fiance (which I inexplicably have) when she fails to exhibit these charecteristics. I feel this article is a serious challenge to my way of life, as I may run out of girls to fantasize about now!

    And of course, this is 100% true; the Weekly World News hath spoken.
  • by rde ( 17364 ) on Thursday October 21, 1999 @08:38AM (#1596398)
    So, if I go for a woman who holds her head up and doesn't giggle, then I won't have to put up with competition from other geeks. Then after I impress her with my vast knowledge of the Periodic Table, I'll be in like Flynn.
  • "[...] for a group of healthy college-age males, there was remarkably little discussion of a topic which commonly obsesses groups of that composition. Females.
    Though some hackers led somewhat active social lives, the key figures in TMRC-PDP hacking had locked themselves into what would be called 'bachelor mode.' It was easy to fall into -- for one thing -- as opposed to the hopelessly random problems in a human relationship -- which made hacking particularly attractive. But an even weightier factor was the hackers' impression that computing was much more /important/ than getting involved in a romantic relationship. It was a question of priorities.
    Hacking had replaced sex in their lives."

    - Steven Levy, Hackers - Heroes of the computer revolution [slashdot.org]

  • --quote--
    You're over analizing the individual steps and totally ignoring the whole. Put all those traits
    together, and what do you see? A confident woman.

    No... I would see a woman who was pretending to be confident.

    Truly confident people don't really show it in ordinary situations. Truly confident people aren't afraid to say that they don't know. Truly confident people aren't afraid to adjust their clothing if it needs adjusting.

    In other words, a truly confident person will fall approximately half-way between these two extremes.
  • by Spatch ( 28798 ) on Thursday October 21, 1999 @09:56AM (#1596426) Homepage
    I learned years ago the crucial secret of the Weekly World News. It's not real news. It doesn't think it is. With vague "sources" and interviews, just about the only folks left who could actually take these stories seriously are those who still think actual people write in those letters to Penthouse Forum from small Midwestern colleges.

    The brilliance of the WWN, though, is that it's incredibly subversive. It neatly packages up stale, outdated urban legends into cautionary tales that make folks feel better about themselves after they've read it. And if they improve themselves, they feel even better because, heck, "I done read it in thuh News."

    The base concept of this article is "Gals! Here's how to make yourself look and feel more self-confident." But that sentiment alone isn't going to be noticed, not in a world full of gal mags with ludicrous articles like "Tone Your Buttocks While Watching TV" and "10 Steps To Giving Him A Better Orgasm" (on second thought, maybe that article ain't such a bad idea.)

    At any rate, what the WWN has done has taken these "tips" (however general they can be) and given them a different slant. Gals! Here's how to improve yourself so you don't get hit on by nerds!
    Never mind the fact that the "nerd" stereotype so expertly described hasn't surfaced since "Saved By The Bell" went off the air. Never mind the fact that "Dr. Rachel Carmotta" does not seem to exist (at least, not in Altavista or Google's eyes) nor there does not seem to be any information available about her upcoming book, neither.

    Then there's their old chesnut, angry right-wing columnist Ed Anger, whose rants are written with such wonderful satire inherent that it really puts The Onion to shame. And, like wrestling fans, the idiots of the world flock to Ed and claim him as their hero ... or so the WWN would tell us.

    The Weekly World News appears to be totally concerned feeding folks the same kind of odd information most rational people would just brush off. But just what group is behind all this subversive behavior? Maybe someday I'll open up the WWN and see the fnords.
  • by Mr_Plow ( 30965 ) on Thursday October 21, 1999 @08:49AM (#1596431)
    Didn't these people ever watch the fine documentary Revenge of the Nerds?
    It clearly shows that geeks, not burdened by an obsession with athletics, are stallion-esque
    love machines. These people... so ill-informed.

    ------------------------------------------------ ----------
  • by Electric Mollusk ( 34199 ) on Thursday October 21, 1999 @08:40AM (#1596440)
    I have never seen a larger cesspool of discrimination. That woman appears to attribute the title "loser" to anyone with a pocket protector or a bug collection -- read, "interesting". That's nothing abnormal, though. The remarkable thing about the article is the author. I find it extremely hard to believe that someone over the age of 13 could possibly justify that kind of thinking, much less propogate it. That's very sad to me. We live in a nation of children.

  • Posting this article on a website was clearly a tactical error. Armed with this new knowledge, thousands of geeks will swarm the singles bars looking for non-clothing adjusting, non-giggly, head and shoulders high, affirmative stating women.

    Or maybe that's just what they WANT us to do.

  • Let the flames begin...

    What a bunch of bow-tie wearin' cowlicked losers we are.

    While reading this, I thought to myself: The only reason I can figure as to why this was posted on slashdot is to make fun of the stupid people who would read something like this and think 'Wow! I'm going to get all the hunks now!' because who, in their right mind, would want someone who didn't have a mind of their own?
    I realize that a comment like that implies that only "nerds" have brains and that all the people that this piece targets women for are "brainless [jocks]," but that's not exactly what I'm implying. I'm not trying to stereotype anyone or discriminate, (and yes, it still sounds like I am), but I personally would _want_ some guy like they're describing (bug collection, Nintendo).. not necessarily that exact description, but someone who has interests of their own, explores alternate possibilities, and enjoys gaming (it's fun! you guys know this!). Therefore, I rather think that we should *cough* at this piece, laugh it up, and move on with our lives knowing we're better than that.

    Fish! They're all fish!
  • More pop psychology fluff -- and this stuff is way off the mark. Sure, if every intelligent, educated technical-minded person were, say, Marty McFly , this might be true. But how many of us actually are? And even for those of use with cowlicks and glasses (yes, I'm guilty, though I don't wear bow ties nor pocket protectors), that doesn't mean we don't have a chance with beautiful women. Granted, if a guy gets a date and shows her his stamp collection then wants to play Nintendo, he may not be the best catch. But just because I'm a networking geek and get off on mathematics doesn't mean my life ends there. Like a lot of other techies out there, I can dance, appreciate music, have a good time with people from other walks of life (gasp! shock!) In fact, I'm just one of many well-adjusted geeks. This is the most ridiculous piece of dating advice I've seen in a long time.

    Disclaimer: I recently married a sexy Latina (hehehe jealous ain't ya? ;> ) and so I don't have to worry about the dating scene anymore. My opinions may therefore be altered by this. 'Course, I just think it makes me more objective...
  • by WillAffleck ( 42386 ) on Thursday October 21, 1999 @09:03AM (#1596463)
    Seriously, I'm really into dating coifed professional women, especially those with post-grad degrees, although I'll settle for a countess (1), a model (3), or a lawyer (4) if I'm in a rush.

    The fun part is watching WWN women trying to snag the guys with the cool chic clothes and the 4x4, while realizing that if she wants a millionaire, she's barking up the wrong tree. Guys like that dispose of their income, sleep around, and cut out when the going gets rough.

    If you want flash, you get trash.

  • Should be: How To Repel Smart, Wealthy, Sensitive Men Who Worship The Ground You Walk On and Instead Attract The Blow-Dried, Insensitive, Beer-Swilling, Abusive Jock That You've Always Dreamed Of.

    Maybe there should be a companion volume for the guys that the author's profile fits: Jocks: How To Meet Beautiful Women As Shallow As You Are, And How To Keep Them No Matter How Miserable They Get. Subtext: "With Special Section On What To Do About Battered Women's Shelters!"

    This thing is like a primer of how to find a bad relationship - base your encounters on your hairdo instead of your wit and empathy.

    Makes me want to vomit that most people still think this way in the '90s.
  • by fable2112 ( 46114 ) on Thursday October 21, 1999 @11:46AM (#1596469) Homepage
    Especially that part about how shocked some guys are to have a female geek around. One of my good friends still refuses to forgive my boyfriend for his shocked reaction to meeting his first non-dragged-by-SO female gamer.

    And I have to say (having dated both geek guys and non-geek guys, along with a couple of geek girls), that geek guys have definite advantages: they are (usually) more creative in bed, they can be incredibly sweet and chivalrous without making it feel like they're putting women down, they usually are OK to take home to the parents, their parents usually like you even if you're a bit strange because they're so happy to SEE their geek offspring with a member of the opposite sex, geek guys fix broken stuff quite well, and best of all they are worth talking to and will engage in conversation about almost anything. My geek boyfriend is wonderful (and, no you can't have either of us)! ;)

  • Chicks dig jerks. Why don't they like nice guys like me?


    Chicks don't dig jerks. Chicks dig guys with self-confidence. It just so happens that the jerks have a near monopoly on self-confidence, while self-proclaimed "nice guys," are shy and self-deprecating. No girl is going to find out that you're "nice" if you won't even talk to her, or when you do, you come off as insecure and pitiful.

    Hold your head up high. Look a girl in the eyes when you talk to her. Don't whine. Be sure of yourself...after all, you are a "nice guy." If you've got the confidence to talk to a woman...REALLY TALK TO HER...and be nice, and attentive, and all those things you claim to be, you WILL meet women.

    Be careful, though...if you really are insecure, you're probably not the "nice guy" you think you are. Insecure people do things that truly nice people would never do. You're going to have to check that insecurity at the door to have a good relationship.
  • I suggest that the stupid people(like the author of the article) be loocked away on a small island(or make that a very large one) specially designated for the stupid people.

    I nominate Australia. It's its own continent, and they've already passed an Internet censorship law, and elected an open racist to Parliament.
  • One of the current WWN "Hot Stories"

    BERLIN, Germany -- The Earth's rotation is slowing down -- and at the current rate of deceleration it may come to a complete halt within 30 years, scientists warn.

    The effect on human life will be devastating as half the planet will eventually be forced to endure endless sunlight and the other is cast into eternal darkness, leading to agricultural catastrophe.

    "We are looking at widespread famine, drastic weather changes and almost unimaginable human suffering," declared physicist Dr. Hans Lutge of Germany's prestigious Brekman Institute for the Study of Science, which submitted its findings at a conference held last month in Berlin.

    The length of an Earth day has actually been growing steadily longer for eons, the scientists say.

    "Earth's tides cause friction that constantly slows the spinning down," said Dr. Lutge. "For the past several million years, the rotation has slowed at a rate of about two milliseconds per century. We estimate that a billion years ago an Earth day was just 20 hours, instead of 24."

    But over the past eight months, Earth has been decelerating much more rapidly, for reasons scientists can't explain. Some experts blame years of nuclear tests or other assaults on nature. Whatever the reason, the possible repercussions are frightening.

    "All living things including man have a built-in biological clock based on the 24-hour day," explained Dr. Lutge. "As the days grow noticeably longer, both men and animals will become disoriented. In the animal world, breeding patterns, pollination and the like will be thrown out of whack -- some animals such as rats may mate like crazy, while others could die out altogether.

    "Our panel of psychologists say that among humans we will probably see widespread depression, sleeping disorders and an increase in both suicidal and homicidal behaviors."

    The lengthening days will also have a dramatic effect on Earth's winds.

    "It will likely spawn many hypercanes -- hurricanes with winds greater than 1,000 miles an hour, capable of wiping an entire city the size of New York right off the map," the scientist explained.

    But the nightmare will really begin when Earth slows down to a dead halt, the experts warn. Half the planet will be scorched by an unblinking sun and the result will be "almost universal madness" as those caught on the bright side are unable to cope with an unending day, said Dr. Lutge.

    But they will be the lucky ones. The other half of the planet will be like the dark side of the moon.

    "With no sunlight, growing crops will be an impossibility," the expert said. "It will always be cold and there will be hunger unlike anything the world has ever seen. Billions will starve to death and the others may be forced to resort to cannibalism, reduced to ghouls wandering an eternal night."

    U.N. officials promise to take a close look at the scientists' chilling report.

  • ok, so maybe the average girl doesn't go for the geek who is hidden behind a terminal, staring at his computer screen all day.


    There are a lot of intelligent women out there who are attracted to geeks, whose best friends are geeks, and who value intelligence and personality above everything else.

    No, it's hardly a myth. We do exist. The reason we sometimes avoid the geeks is because we are stared at or excluded, because you guys are so shocked to see (oh my gawd!) a female geek.

    You are just as guilty of stereotyping too. Not every non-geek is a wife beater. And not every chick goes for non-geeks.

    The intelligent women I know want a "nice" guy, not a "cool" guy who:
    1)Can support himself financially and emotionally.
    2)Will be loyal because he is with us for our intelligence and personality, not our looks.
    3)Will treat us with respect because we are bright and interesting people in our own right.


  • What geek wants to end up with the kind of girl who reads the Weekly World News? I mean, sure, they may be naive enough to fawn over your pocket calculator, but let's face it: you'll probably puke by the third time she says Elvis was from Pluto.

    Why, just follow this simple advice:

    She may have a hot body, but if she can't do simple maths, you'll probably be very bored during the morning chit-chat. Try asking for a few simple additions. Calculus is probably overdoing it. Tensor analysis is way off.

    Having a paranoid gal spouting about Government agencies trying to control your lives is alright. If she's spouting about the NSA and Echelon, you're a winner. If she thinks the NSA is the Space Agency that serves as an embassy for the alien invasion, run.

    Should you consider a bimbo with great legs, or a fat girl with great brain? Well, think of it this way: you can lose weight much more easily than you can gain a brain.

    If a WWN gal approaches you, tell her you're an alien and she can feel your zipper in the back.

    And most importantly:

    Walk slouched, giggle nervously, speak nonsense. Or just be yourself. If a girl is turned off by stupid stuff like that, she doesn't deserve a winner like you, and will probably end up sleeping with the football captain behind your back anyway.

    "There is no surer way to ruin a good discussion than to contaminate it with the facts."

  • As a woman in the engineering field, I have been reading slashdot for over a year now. (Now now.. I know thats not too long). I have tolerated story after story regarding women in the industry and read numerous sexist comments in response.

    My advice to slashdot is to drop these stories. Not only are they insulting to your women readers, but they make slashdot seem like a hunting ground for women. I know that your readers have more class than this.

    I do not read slashdot to determine how to get a geeky man or how I can not attract geeky men. I do not need another mans perspective on why women dont like computers. I enjoy some stories with tid bits of trivia information, but the majority of stories are insulting and degrading to women.

    Not only that, but the generate a large amount of comments that focus on men boasting about their geeky woman.

    I live day in and day out in this industry. I know how women feel and I know why most do not like this industry. If slashdot feels that they are supporting women and encouraging them, they are doing exactly the opposite. I would suggest focusing on the technology and what matters. In order to get women intereted in this industry, talk about it. And if you want to know really why women dont like the industry... why not just ask them instead of posting insulting stories such as this.

  • ... is correct. Or rather, it is the original saying. Refers to Errol Flynn, notorious Hollywood bad boy (not a nerd), after being acquitted of rape in 1942. His 1952 autobiography was originally titled "In Like Me".

    "In like Flint" was a take-off, used as title of second Flint movie "In Like Flint", 1967, starring James Coburn.

    All info from imdb.com

    I gotta change this stupid sig
  • I'd like to express my envy of those girls whom you find worthy of your attention. =)
  • (not that I'm taking this seriously, mind you. I read the WWN occasionally, but strictly for amusement value. pathetic people are funny)

    I've often been approached by girls BECAUSE I'm geeky. There is a certain section of the population that seems to be attracted to people who are kinda strange . . . and sometimes even to me. And the opposite hold true for me. Geek girls are sexy. I'm not exactly sure why, but they are. Don't get me wrong, I love candlelight diners and flowers and dancing, but there's something strangely romantic about an evening discussing code or the latest science news. I like girls who can sustain conversations with me. Intelligence IS attractive. So yeah, there are people who attract weirdos without wanting to, but there are also those who look for them.

    I don't necessarily know where the stereotype of geek with no girlfriend came from. Yeah, in high school I didn't have a girlfriend, but I wasn't quite comfortable with how geeky I was (entirely). Now I accept that I am kinda strange and in certain ways pathetic. But I like myself. And girls seem to like me now more than ever. I'm sure most of you have had similar experiences.

    I'll stop before I start bragging about my current girlfriend ;-)
  • Hey!

    (Some of us sensitive guys swill beer, too.)
  • Actually I always find it vagualy distastfull when people suggest how somebody should change to attract a man/woman.

    I'm not going to pretend to be something I'm not for anybody, and quite frankly even if I could I'd be feeling guilty the whole time knowing that I'd pulled under false pretenses..

    (Hmm, advertisers can be sued if they sell products under false pretensions ... Excuse me sir, you're under arrest - you don't really find nature appealing ;)

    Steve ---

  • So we haven't come along as far as it was thought huh?

    I have seen the "how to attract geek men" and "go to silicon valley" articles that inflate all the egos around here, but the majority of the populace still does not see things that way.

    You program computers? You put more effort into your work than your appearance? You are still a geek. Does not matter how much money you are rolling in, or could be a few years down the road. A geek is not someone most girls want to be seen dating.

    Go to the bar, look at all the pretty girls. Will any of them talk to you? Not likely. More likely is that there are plenty of just as pretty frat guys dressed in abercrombie & finch shirts and khaki pants who have just as much money as you might (from their parents however), that are getting all their attention.

    So sit back and relax. Don't bitch about it. Things are not going to change anytime soon. Do your work, don't get too jaded, and by consensus the magical age being 30, girls start to notice the nice guys, with good jobs and great futures. Hopefully by then, you will have met your own geek girl and can get some satisfaction from ignoring the girls who once ignored you.
  • by Rabbins ( 70965 )
    For anyone interested:

    If you'd like to be our Page 5 Girl, send
    a picture, a phone number where you
    can be reached and some information
    about yourself to:

    Page 5, Weekly World News, 600 East
    Coast Ave., Lantana, Fla. 33464-0002.

    • ...If you try to argue that it's all biological, and that women pick the best-looking guys because their instincts say they're the best bet for healthy offspring, ...those are the men least likely to really be able to provide for and take of any offspring.

    True, but the current thinking in evolutionary psychology is that these leanings in behavior are based on some ancestorial environment and not necessarily the current one.

    You've got to admit, that the big push from muscle to brain power is relatively recent in human history.

    Who knows, maybe in 1/2 million years the average woman will clue in. Maybe not. But it is already happening. Please take a look at the females posting on slashdot. Almost all of them seem to be at the head of the evolutionary trend.

  • >> A geek is not someone most girls want to be seen dating.

    I heartily disagree. maybe you're not getting any pretty girls to talk to you, but a huge (huge) fraction of the ones that I talk to are very interested in intelligen guys with money and futures.

    (most) girls aren't as vapid as you seem to imply. Abercrombie & Finch [sic, been to a mall lately?] isn't going to cover up a loser fratboy enough so that the average girl won't notice how much of a tool he is.
  • heh. take a walk over to chestnut hill and stroll thru the BC campus sometime if youre into this kind of chick.
  • When I got into my computing degree I was massively in the minority as a female, something intimidating in itself. I've never been that confident in dating (very shy), and had extremely poor luck when I nervously introduced myself to others. Despite the fact that I hoped that my fellow geeks would be the intelligent, sensitive sort, I ended up blinking in bewilderment as they downloaded porn and played Doom (took me ages to like Doom...) in the computer labs. Hardly conducive to dating, really, being compared with a blond sex kitten with an IQ in single digits or the lure of a BFG.

    My luck got better when I advertised for players at the Uni on a roleplaying forum and I met my current fiance, a large gaming gentleman who didn't try to impress me with his highscores in the latest ultraviolence game, how much better his computer was than mine, or how obfuscated he could get his code. He was merely nice to me and found excuses to do fun things with me, to spend time with me, as I did with him. Sometimes this was working on a program together, sometimes this was being online together...sometimes this was rockclimbing or hiking.

    What a surprise, it worked! We're getting married next year.

    I like geeks. I *am* a geek! All of my friends are geeks. I only ever wanted to date geeks...but it took ages to find one who wanted an equal rather than an inferior to be better than or a superior to be scared of. The last creature on earth I wanted to date was a jock - I'd rather eat an O Reilly text first (or make them eat it :).

    So it's no surprise that geeks who tried to act like jocks aren't attractive to the grrls who need modems. One of the most common laments I hear from geek female companions is the lack of nice guys - and you're in the same basket as the idiots if you seem obsessed with superficialities like system speeds (how fast was your car again? :( ) rather than having a conversation.

    I know there's a lot of nice guys out there. I meet them online all the time. But finding you offline seems impossible - we're shy too, and we're wary after long years of being socially engineered into the ugly mousy box. We feel inferior enough without being made nervous of our masculine counterparts by hearing we don't exist or that we only want violent shmucks...

    (As an aside which I'm not allowed to make, rock climbing's great for RSI :) Mmm...geeks in lycra)

  • I'm voting for satire. You do realize that this is a joke. Right? Weekly World News is the magazine that has the five foot grasshopper on the cover. This article is just a joke! It's not all that funny, but it's still a joke. So go back to beating your girlfriend at Nintendo. You know that's the only part of the article that was accurate.
  • This is just another link in the chain of evidence showing that society discriminates socially against geeks, even as they provide significant benefits to that society.

    I think there should be some kind of anti-discrimination law disallowing the use of "geekiness" as a criteria when deciding whether to go out on a date with a geek.

  • Well I attempted to post this but IE barfed so here we go again....

    Last login: Thu Oct 21 15:01:05 1999 from
    Linux 2.2.12.
    No mail.
    mount -t slut /dev/girlfriend /mnt/bed
    mount: fs type slut not supported by kernel

    Drat! I thought I worked out that bug! =)

  • Oh, I too have had to struggle with the stigma of a high IQ and an unusually large member. Ah to be one of the little folk.. :-)
  • Geeks: if youre trying to attract a person of the
    opposite sex, but find yourself surrounded by
    shallow egotistical cluebies, you can improve your life just by making some simple changes!

    Thats the word here. You know the kind I mean, the
    ones whose idea of a "Magic Evening" is spending
    way too much for diner and talking about social
    events and how ugly other people are.

    So if you have your heart set on Albert Einstein
    but find yourself buried in valentines by one of
    the Backstreet Boys, maybe its time you started
    acting differntly.

    - Know what to say

    Don't ease in soft. Don't waste your time looking
    for a date! Go right for the brain and ask "So
    how is your PERL?". Shallow cluebies will make
    it no farther.

    - Avoid Holy Wars

    Really... is it that important that they use vi?
    accept emacs or pico for now, convert them to vi

    -- Don't adjust your clothing at all

    If they even notice how you dress, then they
    really aren't even worth the time to worry about.
    Changing too often could lead them to think you
    care about your apearence and might be as
    shallow as they are.
  • Wasn't that the song at the end of 'Relentless'?

    "I don't pretend to understand
    Women's little quirks
    One thing that I know fer sure
    Chicks dig jerks."

    "Is that a new bruise you got on you?
    What does that say? That he loves you?"

    "What do I have to offer you baby?
    Poetry and true love.
    That's not enough, I know for sure...
    You need someone to throw you through the door."

    And so on..
    I might be known as 'Captain Infidelity', but at least I have never *even* got angry with a woman.
    Well, with anyone I've been out with for that matter.

    The problem is that we're still at the point where intelligence and personality is bottom of the list when it comes to choosing a partner.
    Oh, and no-one actually knows what 'love' is. It seems to be an excuse these days, or a word used in place of an apology. I doubt, somehow, that the concept even exists anymore.
    There is a term for all of this - 'destructive self-interest'.


  • by fishie ( 100172 ) on Thursday October 21, 1999 @08:02PM (#1596605)
    As a female reader of slashdot, I'd like to throw in some thoughts... Most women have dated the kind of guy Dr. Carmotta seems to think all women want. I've got bad news Doc. Now that we're all reasonably mature adults (and clearly this is not who her book is written for) most of these "desirable guys" are still trying to convince the local college to create a degree in "Permanent Partying" and "Lifetime Jock" There are men out there that make you think "Please, just stand there and look good. If you talk you'll completely ruin what little I see in you. Yes, you really do sound that stupid. Yes, I'm only going out with you because you're nice to look at and because I've read everything new on slashdot tonight."

    Also, saying that geeks have no self-esteem is so far off base that it's pathetic. How about this... Sports Fanatics have too much self-esteem. Seems about as vague as her view of geeks. My questions to our good Doctor... have YOU ever dated a geek? Just how shallow are you? Are you that consumed with how people view you and your date that you feel you have to stoop to the level of making generalizations about people you clearly barely know? Someone blast her back into the real world please.

    There are a few women out there who know what great guys geeks can be. Take it from someone who knows firsthand. I married one. He's not shallow, he is a geek, and he's attractive. And for those guys who think all women geeks are hideously ugly or total social rejects, take off your blinders. I seriously doubt that I'm the only blonde, iron pumping, linux using, social butterfly female geek out there. There are more. Just keep looking, and skip the ones who want you to notice their chest first and not their brain. They might look good on the first date but when your friends want to play a game of Quake over the net and she's wanting you to shop there's gonna be trouble. Pick the one that can toast everyone at quake, odds are good she's going to be more fun in the long run!
  • I happen to be one of them girls that have been attracting geeks all my life. I don't walk with my head down, I make decisions, and most of all I consider myself very lucky. I would more likely find myself going out with someone that could hold a conversion about quantum physics then about the latest football scores. Thou I must admit I only like the bow ties on the weekends.
  • What if you are not the stereotypical geek? What if you are a Unix admin, but a 6" 300lb ex Marine Unix admin with a Commercial Driver's License and a penchant for venison and psychoactive pharmacia? Then I suppose you'll be attracted to big huge Cajun women who love horses and can't read but can clean a rifle?

    Whoever this Carlotta person is, she's sure a lotta something, and it ain't car. Maybe I send her ticket to Usbekistan where men are men and Yaks are nervous.

Information is the inverse of entropy.