Clonaid, Lullabyes, Gerbils 68
Your recommended daily dose of insanity. FattyBoeBatty writes "Napster has been sued again, but this time it's by a company that makes meditation music -- and for once it's not about copyrights. They're afraid that without their company's warning labels, unsuspecting Napster users will be lulled to sleep by the tranquil melodies and will fall asleep at inopportune times (i.e. driving, operating heavy machinery, etc.)" A bunch of people submitted this story about Clonaid, a group of people wearing tin-foil hats who want to clone a human (and whose leader will give speeches for a measly $100,000). Finally, Hacky writes: "Security Service MI5 once planned to recruit a team of specially-trained gerbils as a secret weapon to sniff out spies, it has been revealed."
damn stupidity (Score:1)
i say FUCK it. let the dumb people burn themselves. let the morons kill themselves. maybe this will raise the general population's iq, which seems to be on a slow decline.
we have been avoiding natural selection in many ways, and now including the law, which preserves the DUMBEST of the species. god, i'd like to take a gun and start weeding out idiots myself. however, i want the nature to take its course. if you're dumb, and you do something stupid enough - it's your fault. don't put the blame on some company, individual, etc, that didn't warn you about things you should have know. yes, the goddamn coffee is hot when you make it. deal with it. by the time you're old enough to order it from the damn mc'donalds, you should know it.
ok, i'll quit ranting.
Gerbils, eh? (Score:1)
I always wondered why Richard Gere always received special interest from the MI5 whenever he travelled to the UK.
Cheers,
Can't Clone This (Score:1)
1/2 weirdness (Score:1)
People in high places? (Score:1)
Their leader is Bill Clinton?
yeah, those wackos (Score:1)
Re:Stupid case (Score:1)
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Another piece of insanity that /. missed (Score:1)
The editors have seen fit to ban web clipping devices from using slashdot. Avantgo gives a "forbidden" sign when using it to try to access http://slashdot.org/palm and avantslash [custard.org] now gives error messages because the author of website has had his website blocked.
All of this without a peep from any of the editors? I have been a reader of slashdot for years. I normally do not post messages such as this one, but they have not responded to my emails. The avantslash author is a nice guy. How about letting him know whats going on? Whats up with all this? Whats going on with you guys???? Please snap out of it.
-ali
How about... (Score:1)
How about a good old fashioned Clambake [xenu.net] instead?
Re:So if you've lost a child (Score:1)
Look right here. [cowboyneal.org]
Okay, so it's an abnormally large, penguin-hat-wearing defect, but it's GOTTA be close enough.
Mata Hari the gerbil... (Score:1)
We don't know how cloning works! (Score:1)
The reason cloning has problems is that no one knows how the egg unmasks the dna (parts of the dna are masked to create the different types of cells), and it takes sperm and eggs months to become ready for use, and this unmasking process is forced on the dna in a few days, sometimes even hours.
Everyone is so ready to clone, they forget that we don't even know why cloning works at all!
Just like a script kiddie, not carring how the script works, just that it does. That's why they screw up and get caught all the time.
In related news... (Score:1)
At the end of December, 1967, NBC aired Episode 49 of Paramount's Star Trek, entitled "The Trouble with Tribbles", a story written by David Gerrold. Paramount and Roddenberry Productions hold joint copyright.
In this story, small, furry vegetarian rodents are used, in end effect, to ferret out spies. A similar storyline used in a later episode of Deep Space Nine, entitled "Trials and Tribble-ations", and it is from this that Paramount lawyers claim MI-5 got their idea.
"We will protect our ideas at all costs," said attorneys for Paramount. "With the incredible reception DS9 'Trials and Tribble-ations' received, we expect we can re-use this storyline a few more times at a few $mill a pop. A re-use every 20 years or so can mean almost one half billion dollars in a century. And all for the $350 we paid in 1962 for the story. Ain't America grand?"
Scientology lawyer and Judenhascher[1] Helena H (The Kobra) Kobrin, no fan of origami buttplugs, stated her support for the plaintiffs. "This is copyright terrorism!" she exclaimed. "Sue the bastards!"
When asked for comment as to whether clones might have Body Thetans, the $cientology attorney said, "No comment, and if you talk about BTs again, I might have to sue you, too."
Paramount's lawyers have also implicated Monsanto in a similar, but unrelated, IP theft case for genetic experimentation with wheat. "They may have modified the grain," said one attorney, "but we not only named 'Quatrotriticale', we had the idea that you could modify triticale to begin with!"
© 2001, BadDoggie. The preceding was parody. It was funny. Woulda modded to a 5 if I'd logged on a couple hours ago (Whore nuthin'! Karma SLUT!)
woof.
[1] n.b.: My opinion! Just my opinion! While I have had some good chats with H. Keith Henson, I have no real desire to run to Canada and bunk up with him.
Re:James Bond's newest ally (Score:1)
They Worked (Score:1)
Re:Wow, I never thought I'd see it... (Score:1)
BTW, Rael [rael.org] is the favorite religion of a historian of religion friend of mine, who is studying modern religious movements. Raelians are so nuts, they've got it all... :-)
Re:You know... (Score:1)
Gabe - Always ahead of his time (Score:1)
Upon viewing this comic [penny-arcade.com], I knew that Gabe had his head screwed on right. Perhaps he was involved [penny-arcade.com] with the training of these spy gerbils.
Peace,
Teslakid
Clonaid slogan... (Score:1)
Now where have I heard that [alexchiu.com] before [slashdot.org]? :)
What they don't mention... (Score:1)
Re:Gerbils, eh? (Score:1)
Re:So if you've lost a child (Score:1)
Keep watching the tinfoil hat club. (Score:1)
Yup. I think the gentleman here has a valid point. The Raelites (or Raelians?) may be a little weird, or for that matter a whole bunch of weird, but they're prepared to throw a lot of money at cloning, and they just might succeed. Although, yes, they are a cult run by a French race car driver, that doesn't mean they can't hire real scientists, and it's entirely possible they'll manage to pull this off. Keep your eyes on them. Stranger things have happened.
Re:So if you've lost a child (Score:1)
So when can I have my abnormally large, tinfoil-hat-wearing, defective penguin?
It's entirely true. (Score:1)
Re:So if you've lost a child - gigantic baby (Score:1)
"get in my belly... mom"
I have been warned (trance) (Score:1)
"friends dont let friends listen to trance"
www.tagstrance.com
Not only are you offtopic, you have a problem (Score:1)
BTW: if you're considering downloading thoes files, don't waste you bandwith. Think Hitler(-the military power) crossed with Rush Limbaugh.
Top 10 reasons to procrastinate:
Heh (Score:1)
Re:Wow, I never thought I'd see it... (Score:1)
Re:Meditation marketing ploy (Score:1)
A bit too good!! It's been
Gerbils and Werdos (Score:1)
Ofcourse it could be that they are waiting for the mothership that is piloted by a bunch of mutent, adrenalin-smelling, little, green, invisible gerbils who will take them away to a planet far away where they can perform their hedonistic rituals in peace
Courts: God VS Clonaid (Score:1)
God claims that he/she/it/hir owns copyright over the said human being and that Clonaid is infringing on his/her/its/hir devine right as sole distributer of human beings
Clonaid on the other hand claims that they are only making a backup copy incase the original fails/breaks.
Re:James Bond's newest ally (Score:1)
The newest kind of ads... (Score:1)
Kind of like Raggot the wonder hamster (Score:1)
tin foil hats? (Score:1)
Re:James Bond's newest ally (Score:1)
weirdness (Score:1)
Isn't that something (Score:1)
Re:Stupid case (Score:1)
Though, its not as fast as doing it your way with flashing lights or something.
On the downside, there are a large number of dumb cases with juries. That usually implies that a) the cases aren't as dumb as we think, or b) the juries are dumber than we think. It can be dangerous to overestimate people like that sometimes.
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gerbils (Score:2)
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a funny comment: 1 karma
an insightful comment: 1 karma
a good old-fashioned flame: priceless
Re:You know... (Score:2)
As to not deriding the loonies thanks but I'd rather have them ostracized then allowing them to claim any sort of credibility & suck in more victims. If folks were to stop making nice-nice and actually get critical of wacko cults like the Scientologists, Raelians, Aum Shinrikyo, Order of the Solar Temple, Heaven's Gate, etc. they might whither away & the world be a healthier place for it.
Trading in critical thought and honest analysis for "happy news" is not a good long-term strategy (unless you'll looking to raise a generation of McSlave carnation-pushers.)
Re:Michael Hauben, coined term Netizen, died Wed. (Score:2)
Re:Wow, I never thought I'd see it... (Score:2)
"...the cell would be jolted with electricity..." (Score:2)
Fertility Specialist
We also install lightning rods
Re:The ultimate team... (Score:2)
Re:James Bond's newest ally (Score:2)
-- iCEBaLM
FYI (Score:2)
Little do people a lot of things like this happen. For instance, when former drug kingpin Pablo Escobar couldn't evade having his data sniffed by the CIA, Delta Force (U.S. Army), and others, he turned to good old fashioned pigeons. [Killing Pablo [killingpablo.com]] I don't remember which chapter it is but it's there somewhere. Let's not forgot the recent rumors of Usama bin Laden plotting using remote controlled helicopters either.
Hey if it works and gets the job done go for it.
Loser pays... (Score:2)
yeah yeah (Score:2)
PS: I posted the story first
The ultimate team... (Score:2)
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first time for everything (Score:2)
I'm pretty sure that's the first time that anyone has ever left the Bahamas for the U.S. because of legal pressure!
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Re:sleep eh? (Score:2)
It's still an interesting movie though. It's not good in the traditional sense, but it sure had me entertained if only for trying to pick apart the movie and figure out which bits came from Kubrick and which from Speilberg. I have the odd feeling that Kubrick probably came up with the Pinnochio allusion, but some how I doubt he would have shoved it down the audience's throat and explained it over and over. Still, the movie would have been much worse had Spielberg tried to emulate Kubrick (he did to a point, but really only so far as going with slow pacing and using Kubrick's drawings/ideas for shot setup). At least the movie didn't say, "You know David - that's the first man eh?" - oh wait, it did. The really awkward thing is that the movie could have been good. At least the ewok
It's not a movie that entertains me, but it's still my favorite Spielberg movie next to Jaws. Oh wait, it also follows the Indy trilogy. Really he should either stick to those types of movies or stop trying to make movies that have some sort of underlying meaning and then tagging them with a John Williams score and computerized aliens.
Re:man you are an idiot (Score:2)
You're right that Spielberg's made great and shitty movies. Jaws is great, Indy is great, CE3K is great, Schindler's List is good. But this is just not particularly good in either the typical-spielberg-entertainment sense or the artistic-merit sense. It won't be a box office smash. It'll probably be #1 this weekend because of the shear number of competing movies, but it won't next weekend. The whole movie felt like it was the Cliff's Notes Complete version Spielberg made of Kubrick's ideas. Again, I know that Kubrick wanted Spielberg to direct this, but I don't know how happy he would've been.
And no, every last bit of it was not Kubrick. He would not have used a JW score (look at his past strategic reuse of classic music to aid his movies - Beethoven's 9th in Clockwork, Flight of the Valkries in Full Metal Jacket). He would not have had slick CE3K robots. He wanted David to be a robot rather than a boy - physically. Again, Spielberg has liscense to change all that. My problem is just that he tried to keep all of Kubrick's plans/themes while imposing his own directing style - the emotionally manipulative, overly expository one. When Spielberg used his Indy/Jaws style for the Rouge City scenes among others, it mostly worked.
Basically I can't like this movie, but I'll still come back to watch it a few more times (though I may fast-forward through a bit of the ending). It's interesting to watch in the same sense that something like Survivor is - to try and figure out what went on behind the scenes to make the movie. I don't like the movie because it thought I was an idiot (though according to you, this is a proper accusation), but I still enjoyed watching it to figure out just where Spielberg went wrong. It could have been great; he could have made it great; he obviously didn't, however, and that's why I liked watching it.
So if you've lost a child (Score:2)
[...] he will give you a dead baby, a defective baby or a deformed baby [...]
So if you've lost a child, you need not be racked with grief. Instead you can pay lots of money to have your child returned to you defective, deformed, sick and abnormally large, with a tin-foil hat. Now that's progress!
great idea (Score:2)
"The road to the top of the bell-curve is paved with mediocrity." - collin brack
sleep eh? (Score:2)
hmm.. you sure they're not talking about AI? Damn, but I can't WAIT to see a review of that here :)
Michael Hauben, coined term Netizen, died Wed. (Score:3)
According to the article Hauben coined the term Netizen in a 1992 article entitled "The Net and Netizens: The Impact the Net Has on People's Lives", and contributed to the IEEE's Netizens: On the History and Impact of Usenet and the Internet.
James Bond's newest ally (Score:3)
Santa Monica, CA (PP)- MGM executives have unveiled a new ally in James Bond's fight against evil, Scruffy the Wonder Gerbil.
Scruffy, a new jersey spotted gerbil, will lead an effort to stop a band of terrorists from downing airliners. In a remarkable new cross-company marketing scheme, MGM officials have announced that Scruffy will be deployed using the patented Outpost.com Gerbil Cannon.
"Scruffy the Wonder Gerbil will join other crime fighting rodents of the silver screen," announced MGM CEO Michael Bootiepants. "Mighty Mouse, Stuart Little and, of course, those rascally critters from Chip & Dale's Rescue Rangers."
Scruffy was unavailable for comment, he was training for the role in a new state of the art excercise wheel made entirely out of titanium.
From a CEO of a meditiation company (Score:3)
<meditation music in background>
I am from the CEO of a major meditation company. <yawn> I believe it's in the best intrest of our intelectual property to be protected, along with our sweet melodies, that ppl don't get hurt by our pro... <snoring>.... uh? ya. Where were we? Anyway, we don't want any problems occuring form those wholesale pirates!
So, if you would excuse me, I need a nap. Bye.
Something Obvious with that... (Score:3)
What I don't get is that the redundancy filter didn't catch this.
LULL PEOPLE TO SLEEP
NAPster
So either the company wants the "NAPster" name, or they want free advertising on their site.
krystal_blade
Re:Oh great... (Score:3)
Oh great... (Score:3)
Wow, I never thought I'd see it... (Score:4)
Stupid case (Score:5)
Meditation marketing ploy (Score:5)
Little podunk company brinks suit against one of the most highly-trafficked sites on the 'net, 'cept to make their suit stand out, they throw in some extra marketing razzmatazz about how their music is so effective in putting people to sleep that it needs warning labels.
Yeah, right.
Why didn't they just contact Napster and tell them to add their songs to the filtering system? I wonder if even a single one of their songs is being traded...
Still, though... they are going to reap a lot of recognition out of this. Too bad they're doing it at the expense of our already-overburdened court system.
You know... (Score:5)
When we mock groups outside mainstream society, we only give them more reason to retaliate. Just look at Columbine, or at the Oklahoma City bombing in which Timothy McVeigh was motivated by the cover-up of those who died at Ruby Ridge. I'd think the supposedly free-minded people at Slashdot would know better to mock ostracized groups and deride them as "tinfoil-hat wearing" (note that nowhere in the CNN article are the Raelians actually described as wearing tin-foil hats). These people may be different from us, but their actions could present a real, serious issue.
Yu Suzuki