Become a fan of Slashdot on Facebook

 


Forgot your password?
Close
typodupeerror
User Journal

Journal trmj's Journal: This meme should stay in this journal entry. 81

Journal by trmj
You have no messages waiting on the system. Either none have been sent, or they have been deleted or purged from the system, or they have been sent via another delivery method.

Ah, it feels good to have no messages. I read them all and now don't have to deal with them.

Let's play the corrupt wish game! Here's how it goes: I make a wish in the JE, then somebody replies with a way that wish corrupts and makes their own wish. Somebody then replies to that wish with a corruption and makes their own. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Example: I wish my work computer was faster.

Reply: Granted, but it's now a Mac and you're obviously too cool to work, getting you fired.

<new wish>

So, let's start. I wish Taco Bell food was healthy so I'd have an excuse for eating it.
This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

This meme should stay in this journal entry. More

This meme should stay in this journal entry.

Comments Filter:
  • Granted. Taco Bell is now healthy. But now it's make of Tofu, and tastes like shit.

    I wish Slashdot wouldn't 503 so much.

    • Granted, but now it 404s instead.

      I wish users weren't so stupid.
      • Indeed , but unfortunately now you are unemployed .

        I wish I had superpowers
        • Granted, but now you're labelled as a freak. Religious people claim you're the anti-christ. Scientists want to kill you and study your body. Dark Horse goes out of business.

          I wish we could figure out how to cure the common cold.
          • Granted, but its now been replaced by the common hot.

            I wish the workday was only fifteen minutes long.
            • Granted, but the rest of the day has been shortened by the same measure leaving you with no net gain in free time.

              I wish Paullie Shore would do some more movies.
              • Granted, but they're grainy black and white, and they involve him naked with your mother.

                I wish the backseat of my car (now detatched) didn't smell like cat pee. (this is true; it does smell like cat pee. which is why its been un-bolted and now is sitting in my basement)
              • Granted but now Paulie Shore has made more movies ::(Dead end)::
            • Granted, but now you get paid by the hour.

              I wish gas prices would go back below a dollar per gallon.

              • Granted, but the size of a gallon has been cut in quarters.

                I wish I had magical abilities to heal computers.
              • Granted, but the USD deflates at the same rate and your pay is adjusted accordingly.

                I wish I will aquire one million US dollars today in a legal fashion.
                • Granted, however the legal fashion is in white and black stripes, and your new roomate "Bubba" finds it very fashionable indeed.

                  I wish 6 was 9.
                  • Granted, but your sex life just went to hell.

                    I wish there was an infinite supply of gasoline and heating oil.
                    • Granted, but you've just died and gone to Hell.

                      I wish Communism worked.

                    • Granted, it just doesn't work very well or for all that long. (Yep, I cheated and took the answer from reality)

                      I wish political agendas were for the betterment of the people in general, instead of for the betterment of special interest groups.
                    • Granted. But someone else gets to define "the people".

                      I wish my cat would turn into a beautiful princess.

                  • granted, but you lose your mind. yeah, you go crazy for me all of the time. little motorhead, i won't whine; there'll be some peace at the end of the line.

                    i wish portishead would go ahead and release their new album.
                    • Granted, and its their homage to "Burnout at the Hydrogen bar", with Zamphir (master of the pan flute) as the backing band. Beth Gibbons doesn't feature on it at all.

                      i've seen so many dreams dashed today, I'm a little afraid to make a wish!

                      I wish I could figure out why my Mac is 'Teh Sloe.'
                    • granted, but it remains a mac mini.

                      well played, btw. both the bestowal and the new wish.

                      i wish no one would grant me this wish.
      • Granted, but now your IQ is 37.

        I wish everybody would just get along.
        • Granted, but... umm... teh onyl way 2 win is bobmig teh isht outta dem! (Hey, you reduced my IQ to 37).

          I wish I could fly.
          • Granted, you've been turned into a Mosquito.

            I wish the Detroit Tigers would win the World Series again.

            • Granted, but all the other teams left and made their own league.

              I wish Apple had the parts I need in stock.
              • Granted. Unfortunately, they're already sold to someone else.

                I wish I were skinny.

                • Granted, however you are now ugly, and at least before you could always lose weight...

                  I wish I had mental telepathy.
                  • Granted, but the only thing that triggers it are the random thoughts of squirrels.

                    I wish the company accountant had a toner cartidge to use.
                    • Granted, but he's such a cheap bastard he refuses to use it. Oh and, he got it from your boss' laser printer. I think someone's knocking on your door right now...

                      I wish I had more privileges in our CM system.

                    • Granted, but the database has gone unstable and you must rebuild it by hand, and why did it go unstable in the first place? That's why they made you the admin!

                      I wish Verizon's customer service system didn't suck.
                    • Granted, their customer service system is streamlined and easy to use but their customer service STILL sucks! (no one returns phone calls, service trucks hang out in your driveway to kill time, but don't actually come in to do any service, and everytime you call they ask "Have you tried unplugging and plugging in again? Have you tried waiting?")

                      I wish Verizon didn't suck.

                    • Granted, but Verizon was purchased by some other company and the trademark was retired. The new company's billing system is a mess. And even though you keep sending your bill in every month, the new system doesn't record your payment. Your account is flagged as delinquent and sent to collections.

                      I wish I knew what Verizon did, so I'd actually know what I was talking about.
                    • Granted, you find out that Verizon is actually a cotton candy maker/equipment supplier, and this whole "telephonics" thing was just a side line that got out of hand; they just liked James Earl Jones voice. Sadly, this doesn't make you feel any better.

                      I wish that employees at a telephone company (which will remain nameless...) had phone numbers where I could reach the workers I had been talking to previously.
                    • Granted, but they never answer their desk phones to outside calls and their voicemail boxes are full.

                      I wish I could leave work early today.
                    • Granted, but you don't get a paycheck anymore.

                      I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner.
                • Granted, but you're now a twelve year old girl who's obsessed with boy bands and Joey Lawrence.

                  I wish netcraft would confirm that BSD is dying.
                  • Granted, but you're now a twelve year old girl who's obsessed with boy bands and Joey Lawrence.

                    I wouldn't mind :H

                    Anyway, may your wish be granted. However, you're it. You're BSD.

                    I wish I had been born a girl.

                    • Oh noes!

                      Granted. You're a girl.

                      ...

                      Oh em jee! Did he just imply that being a girl is a bad thing? *gasp*
                      It was a joke. Stop being so uptight :-P

                      Granted, but you grew up differently and decided that you would be a professional cheerleader, until you got out of high school and realized that you had no marketable skills and you live as a waitress for the rest of your life.

                      I wish I didn't have to figure out how to use Eudora today.
                    • Granted. You'll have to work out how to use Outlook Express instead.

                      I wish I hadn't just wasted an hour trying to figure out a clever "wish".

                    • Granted. You spent a very productive hour trying to think of a clever wish.

                      I wish my back didn't hurt.
                    • Granted. But now you have a splitting headache that just won't go away.

                      I wish [Censored]

          • Granted, but unfortunately, you can't land.

            I wish I had an entire religion of devoted followers.
      • Granted, but this means you can't be a user anymore. ;)

        I wish I had a vat of Oberweiss chocolate peanut butter ice cream in front of me.
        • Granted, but now you work in the ice cream plant doing basic warehouse tasks for the rest of your life.

          I wish there was an e-mail client that made sense when restoring non-backed-up emails.
          • Granted, but you can't afford the license.

            I wish I could afford anything I wanted.
            • Granted. But you can only pick one.

              I wish I knew what I wanted.

              • Granted, but you can never have it.

                I wish the local store had wasabe peas that weren't out of date by a month.
                • Granted, but they're our of date by two years!

                  I wish chocolate wasn't so unhealthy.

                  • Granted, but you're severely lactose intolerant.

                    I wish I was musically talented.
                    • Granted, but your music is only featured in Bring It On 2: Riverdance-off.

                      I wish political extremists were dead.

                      -Ab
                    • Granted, but now your nose keeps falling off.

                      I wish I didn't have to sleep at nights.

                    • Granted, you are now a castrotti.

                      I wish there was a cure for all disease.
                    • Granted, but you now have a severe case of insomnia and are never able to sleep again. Ever.

                      I wish my coworkers would stop eating all of my wasabe peas.
                    • Granted, but it's now forbidden to disagree with the centrists.

                      I wish the editors would stop posting dupes.

                    • Granted. They've chosen to spit in the bowl (or is it a box?) instead.

                      I wish I would always be 22.

                    • Granted. You will forever keep the same maturity you had at 22.

                      I wish I was in shape.

                    • Granted, but a new super-virus just formed from a mutation of the flu.

                      I wish my wish would not be granted.
                    • Granted. You'll get two pairs of socks instead.

                      I wish my wish (the one I wished when I saw a shooting star tonight) would be granted.

                    • Granted, but because I didn't know what it was I gave you SmoochyBear's vat of ice cream instead.

                      I wish my favorite bands would play shows I could actually go to.
                    • Granted. You're now a perfectly spherical elephant, the mass of which can be neglected.

                      I wish I had a better handwriting.

                    • Granted, but you can only write with disappearing ink from now on.

                      I wish leptr would link me in his journal more often, because I need the confirmation of my peers.
                    • Granted. My cousin Guido is currently holding leptr's family in the back of a '63 Impala. You'll get whatever you want from him now, believe yoiu me. Unfortunately, the confirmation of your peers leaves an even greater void in you now since it was derived through fear and not the genuine respect of which you're deserving.

                      I wish Johnny Cochrain were alive so I can avoid having to serve 20 years in the same cell as my pissed off cousin:-(

                    • Granted, but now they've sold out and you can't stand them any more.

                      I wish things had been taken care of a long time ago.

                    • Granted, but the solutions gave rise to new problems.

                      I wish I had an infinite number of wishes.

                    • Granted, but you have to pay a dollar for each wish you don't use.

                      I wish that people were kinder than they are.

  • Granted, but now you'll have a JE full of inane answers.

    I wish I was Joe Shlabotnik.

    Cheers,

    Ethelred "I Am Not Joe Shlabotnik" Unraed

    • Granted, but now you have no face, no one ever sees you and you speak in a muttering gibberish.

      I wish mosquitoes hated the taste of human blood.
  • I got so lost. When are you coming to visit me jerk. :) xoxo

Slashdot Top Deals

When you go out to buy, don't show your silver.

Close