"Apple will have moved on to the next level of fashionable semi-functionality" ... I stopped reading this MS puff-piece right there
I don't follow. Apple products are historically fashionable and (purposefully?) semi-functional.
Look at the first iPhone -- both fashionable and barely functional (it lacked many features common to low-end dumb-phones at the time.)
How about the iPod? It did less that competing offerings, but was very fashionable (remember the silhouette+white-earbuds ads?) They turned the MP3 player into a fashion accessory.
Compare the fashionable iPad to other competing tablets. You'll find that, again, it's lacking (very useful) features that competing tablets have offered for a while now. Even features it has (like "multi-tasking") are half-baked and barely functional.
In fact, I remember the Apple faithful here praising the both the iPhone and iPad specifically for missing certain features! That the products were "semi-functional" was considered a selling point!
So, yes. fashionable and semi-functional seems perfectly accurate to me. That is, unless you wanted to argue that Apple's products aren't fashionable.